Hester of Four Winds
by Bathsheba Blythe
Summary: (Sequel to "Hester of Golden Bells") Discover what will happen to Hester, the daughter of Rilla and Ken, and her family at the time of World War II. Will Hester find love? Will she go through a heart break? Will her family come out of the war changed? Please feel free to read along and review.
1. Everything Changes

**_Chapter I_**

Christmas is somehow different each year although the preparations for it are always the same in both quality, quantity, time and volume.

Christmas came incredibly quickly in the year of 1939 for Hester and her family. Too quickly almost even though people might think that Christmas can never come too quickly, but it really can if there's a reason for it and there really was this time.

Nothing changed at the first glance: the fluffy white snow was lying all around Glen and Four Winds, covering everything it possibly could; the wind was freezingly cold and the air was quiet and soundless only when children didn't play anywhere around or when they weren't building a snowman.

But what was changed was the situation Hester and her family were facing in that very moment, the situation which made the Christmas of 1939 less joyous than it always had been. The war broke out just a few months earlier although it seemed to everyone as if it was on forever already. This alone caused the atmosphere of the Christmas table to feel a bit stiff, as if the air itself was stretched out in a painful manner which would be stretched out for a split of a second and then come back to its original shape and then become stretched out all over again.

The war news was known by everyone in Hester's family and her own self too. They all knew about the HMS Duchess and HMS Barham which were sank down by the Germans and they also knew about the fact that the Soviet Army assaulted Taipale as well as that the first Canadian troops have already arrived in Europe. All of those facts and many more were able to make their blood run cold.

The addition to this pain of knowledge about the world falling apart were two boys sitting next to each other and playing cards as if nothing at all could have disrupted their lives although this something would definitely do just that in less than just two weeks' time. Gilly and Marshall enlisted as soon as the war broke out and they both enlisted to the Royal Canadian Air Force and were already past their first training in Canada, waiting to be sent off to England for the next couple of months of further training before facing the reality of going to the front.

It was hard not to look at them and worry over them and yet it was also difficult not to at least smile softly at the picture of hope both of them represented. Gilly had just finished his first year of architecture at the Redmond College when the war started and considered going off to war as a "break from his studies" which he claimed he deserved and in truth everyone agreed with him on that because for all the jolly and silly boy of nineteen that he still was, he was very hard-working and very ambitious, not to mention incredibly handsome (a spitting image of Ken with Rilla's frecles made every girl's heart to melt as soon as her eyes would meet his).

Marshall was also just as cheeky and as mischievous as he was when we last saw him. Although he did "catch" a sweetheart of his own in the form of beautiful but also trouble-making Jo Meredith. Marshall didn't decide to go to Redmond like his best friend did, instead he was happy giving private art lessons and the rest of the time he spent working on the local farm, the farm belonging to Carter Flagg's oldest son.

Hester couldn't help but smile while looking at both of them playing cards together under the Christmas tree. Both of them were so handsome, she knew that Marshall was handsome with his brown curls and green eyes even though he still (unbelievable as it was) teased her and called her a "kid". They were both so happy in that moment, they were less worried about themselves than anyone else from their families which in itself gave hope and faith to others about their uncertain future. But then Hester would notice that boyish glimpse in their eyes and she would sigh nervously, backing the tears coming into her eyes.

"Hester, Hester," Lily put her arm around her friend and sat down next to her on the sofa in the Ingleside's living room with her everlasting smile on her frecled face "-don't you _dare_ think those gloomy thoughts today! It's _Christmas_! It's the time when nobody should worry about anything, dear." she kissed Hester's cheek readily and giggled as sweetly as she always could.

Lily didn't change much as well. Her spirit was just as wild, just as beautiful and fresh as it alwasy has been. Although she did grow up to be taller and her figure was fuller, she was sixteen after all, and she had to study more as she was in her first yeat at Queen's having a plan of becoming a lawyer all the same in her mind. But there was one other thing that was different about Lily and that was that she was in fact, in love.

Lily's heart had the tendency to start beating as fast as crazy drums whenever she would see John, the son of Nan and Jerry and the best friend of Selwyn and Walt. But her heart would also break just as quickly because she knew like everyone else that John was in love himself, in Vance's sister Cornelia. The hardest part was that Cornelia already had a sweetheart, John's best friend, Walt. That was the reason why John was avoiding Cornelia and especially when she was together with Walt because he didn't want to break his bestfriend's heart even though his own was already broken. But even _that_ wouldn't make Lily miserable, she was too strong for that.

It was incredible that so much changed during that year and a half since Hester, her siblings and her parents moved back to the House of Dreams. She herself didn't change much, although she did get taller, like Lily, and her personality matured even more, if that's possible. She was just fifteen but everyone who knew Hester even just a tiny bit knew that she could speak as wisely as a fifty year old woman when the time was right. Her passion for music grew only stronger and fiercer and her music skills were getting better and better too with each movement of a bow she would make.

"Oh! Look who our girls brought!" Lily exclaimed merrily as both Marion and Vance sat down next to their friends on the sofa with two small babies in their arms assisted by Ada hopping alongside them.

"Aren't cousin Bruce's girls the sweetest?" Marion asked them when she kissed the chubby face of a nine-month old Violet in Marion's motherly manner.

"They most certainly are!" Lily said and cooed over little twin of Violet, Rose who was held by Vance very carefully.

"And they are so calm too." Vance added and smiled softly at Rose.

"I wish I knew what they are thinking about right now." Hester said wonderingly looking at the perfect tiny fingernails of Violet's. All the girls surrounding her looked thoughtfully at the twins and sighed deeply into thinking before they realised that Owen Ford started dancing with his wife Leslie right next to them, twirling her around as if they were both two young lovers once again. The sound of the radio was filling the room and everyone slowly started to find partners and started dancing themselves, but because there was hardly any space left in the living room Lily suggested for the girls to go out and take a walk down the Rainbow Valley instead and so they put the twin-girls into Rosemary's open arms and headed off for their small adventure.

"Isn't it the most beautiful day for Christmas?" Ada asked her friends as they walked through the winter valley of snow and heavenly peace.

"It really is." Lily replied cheerfully.

"I hope that this day will never end." Hester said absent mindedly, her hazel eyes turning darker than they naturally were.

Vance instinctally squeezed Hester's shaking hand through the gloves she wore and smiled at her softly "Hester you must be more hopeful." she said calmly, although her own heart ached while thinking about her older brother going off to a far off world full of horror in just a matter of days.

"I know, I know." Hester sighed miserably "-it's just getting harder to do when you realise that they actually _will_ go off to England."

Marion took Hester's other hand and Lily started to walk in front of Hester and faced her so she had to start walking backwards "Hes, they will be careful." she said assuringly "As boyish and childish they both are right now, they _will_ be careful. I'm sure they will." Lily smiled caringly at her friend who smiled back at her, with a bit happier eyes.

"I know that too." she replied with a lighter heart "I'm sorry, girls, I don't want to spoil Christmas time for any of you anymore…"

"Oh, please, Hester, talk to us about _anything_ that bothers you _any_ time." Ada patted Hester's shoulder with a gentle smile on her face which all the girls surrounding her returned back.

"Thank you, dear Ada." Hester said more merrily and then looked at each of the girls again "But let's change the subject now. Let's talk about… Oh! Did you know that Phillip might come to Four Winds for the next summer?" she asked them all, her cheeks turning suddenly redder, and not from the cold air around her.

Lily, Marion and Vance got suddenly more excited and jumped as if they were one "I didn't know!" Lily exclaimed with a happy smile on her face "But then Phillip doesn't correspond with any of us as much as he does with _you_." she winked at Hester knowingly and Hester's chuckled.

"Oh, Lily, we've talked this over before." Hester said.

"But you must at least have the inkling that Phillip might, just a _little_ bit be in love with you?" Lily said and looked deeply into Hester's eyes, making the other girls laugh and Hester to raise her eyebrows.

"No I don't, Lily." she said decidedly "And can we please start talking about something…" she started with her cheeks blushing again.

"Don't you think that Hester and Phillip would make such a beautiful couple?" Lily said theatrically and other girls giggled "And just think about it: their children would be so sweet!" she laughed merrily herself seeing how Hester's face was growing redder and redder and her eyes were trying to catch a spot on the snow which was safe to look at.

"They would be just so perfect for each other!" Ada exclaimed happily and then she looked at Hester apolegetically "I'm sorry dear, it just slipped out." she said and put her arm into Hester's own.

"Yes, Hes, sorry." Lily said as well and kissed Hester's cheek gently "Please forgive us?" she said.

"I don't think there's a thing I wouldn't forgive you girls." Hester said with her face brightening up again and her embarrassment reflecting in her eyes slowly vanishing "Besides who knows what the future might bring to all of us?" she asked them with a small twinkle in her eyes which each of the girls around her adapted in their own pairs of eyes.

"Girls come back!" Jem shouted out to them from the back garden of Ingleside suddenly "We're about to serve the dessert! And I know you wouldn't want to miss _that_!"

"Sure we wouldn't, dad!" Lily shouted back and the girls linked their hands together and so all of them started to race each other and pushing one another while running towards the old Ingleside and the Christmas dessert, their youth glowing from them like the stars appearing on the night's sky. They all knew that they needed that small amount of glow for their own good on that day because the days of gloom _were_ somewhere in their future whether they wanted them or not.

* * *

Just as suddenly as the month of December started it ended with a flush of freezing air and a spoonful of worry waiting just around the corner. Just as the Japanese troops were counter-attacking China to relieve one of their Divisions, Hester's life was starting to change, and not for the better.

After Christmas most of Hester's cousins came back to their own homes and going-ons. Ada and David came back with their parents Di and Jack to Avonlea, Bruce and his family came back to Kingsport and Jo came back to Redmond College to finish her English degree in which she had no interest at all.

Everyone was simply astonished by Jo's behaviour in that month, the last month of the year 1939. It was official that she and Marshall were courting for almost two whole years and Jo was simply devasted when her "dear dearie" Marshall enlisted. Nobody was surprised to hear the first part of the story of the two of them on the day after Christmas. The first part was that Marshall proposed to Jo which was such a romantic gesture concerning the fact that everyone always thought that Marshall would never want to marry before the age of fifty. However everyone was shocked by the second part to the story which was that Jo _rejected_ his proposal. She laughed at him as if it was a joke and said that she doesn't love him enough to marry him and she's not sure she ever will. Marshall of course had the New Year's Eve ruined entirely because of that and his face was a definition of agony for the first few days after Jo refused him.

Hester, who never particularly like Marshall because of him teasing her and calling her names whenever he could, felt sorry for him and could nothing but wonder what was the matter with Jo's personality. Not only she broke the heart of an innocent person, Jo as simply and carelessly left Glen a day before New Year's Eve and came back to Redmond not caring to wish Marshall a good luck before shipping off to England. Jo's parents, Nan and Jerry, spent the whole night after her departure to Redmond discussing where, oh from where, she inherited this kind of personality.

That was another reason why the day of saying farewells to both Marshall and Gilly on that snowy day in January was even harder than it was supposed to be. Marshall had a very blank expressionless smile on his face which was meant to calm down the nerves of his sisters and his parents but it only brought them more sorrow.

Gilly was as jolly as he could be, considering the fact that his best friend had a broken heart, and everyone from the older generations could very easily see the gleam of adventure shining in his still childish eyes which was the same gleam as his father and his uncle Jem had in their eyes twenty years earlier.

Mary and Rilla were sharing knowing looks with each other from time to time, both holding onto their oldest sons and having one of their hands squeezed by their own husbands. Rilla was smiling bravely, all of her nervous tears were shed a night before, and she had her hand in Gil's for the whole hour while at the train station when everyone was nervously waiting for the dreaded train to come which was supposed to take the young almost twenty year old boys of their families to a very different world they still had to learn about.

The whole station was buzzing with whispers of goodbyes between lovers, brothers and sisters, sons and their parents and friends between friends too. Hester was standing right next to her father and her oldest brother, gazing up into his eyes wondering when (and with a small very frightful whisper in her mind " _if_ ") Gilly would come back to them.

She was in a way grateful that only her parents, Selwyn, Marshall's parents and his siblings along with Anne and Gilbert where at the train station to say final goodbyes to their boys. It made the farewell easier to transfer in her mind, it made her think that it wasn't that much of an importance as it might have been with their whole family at the station.

Vance and Hester also shared their knowing glances with each other, both looking up to see the faces of their tall, handsome and so very young older brothers. Hester, just like her mother, fought bravely with her own fears and was smiling as widely as she could whenever Gilly would put his arm around her shoulder or wink at her reassuringly.

Selwyn on the other hand had quite a miserable grin on his sweet face. His soul of a poet, so similar to his uncle Walter's, was aching at the thought that the world was facing death and the shed of blood for no reason at all and also that his own brother was going to face it all with his own eyes. But Selwyn's smile always widened a bit whenever Gilly would nudge him at the side and say "Cheer up, Wyn. I'll come back sooner than you think." with Gil's old smirky way of smiling.

All of this, all of this buzzing and whispres stopped as soon as a loud and clear whistle of an upcoming train filled the air and it seemed as if hearts of everyone at the station froze at the sound, and not because the freezingly cold wind just blew onto their faces.

Rilla put her trembling hands on her oldest son's face and kissed his nose ever so tenderly remembering everything about him since the day he was born to this present day at the train station and she knew she had to let him go. Ken hugged his son tightly while telling him to always stay careful with every single step he does and a single tear rolled down his own cheek too, even though Ken swiftly wiped it away.

Gilly was then hugged by both of his grandparents, Anne and his own namesake Gilbert, who wished him all the luck a world can ever give him. Then it was time for the two brothers to share their brotherly warm hug, a wordless goodbye. They both knew well what each was thinking and so no words were spoken apart from Selwyn saying "Be safe." and Gil replying "I will, Wyn.".

Hester's lips were trembling by then and she let small tears fall down her flushed cheeks as soon as Gilly held her up around her waist and she put her arms around his neck "Oh, Gilly, Gilly," she whispered into his ear partly covered by his military cap "-come back to us, come back to us." she was saying desperately.

Gilly put her down on the ground and smiled at her merrily "Of course I will, dear Hes. Take care of everybody you _dear_ girl." and he kissed her cheek one more time before moving up to Marshall's parents and passing Marshall who was moving up to Hester's family to say his goodbyes to them too.

"Hopefully I'll come back to call you a kid once more, Hester." Marshall said to a black-haired girl who looked at him with still glistening tears in her eyes.

"I might be too old for you to call me a kid when you come back." she said to him, trying her best not to think about his teasing tone which could be heard even through his gloomy voice.

"Nah, you'll always be a kid to me, Hes." Marshall managed a small smile and pulled her braid from under her winter hat "Take good care of yourself though." and he headed off to say goodbye to Selwyn.

As soon as it all started, Gilly and Marshall were on the train waving their hands off through the narrow window of the train, only their heads and their hands sticking out of it. Everyone waved, everyone was shouting "God bless! And good luck!" and all Hester could do was to put one hand in Selwyn's hand, her other in Vance's hand and to sqeeze them both hard, feeling that it would be a very _very_ long time before everyone would see those boys, or at least most of them, again.

* * *

 **And so here is the first chapter to the sequel of "Hester of Golden Bells". Hopefully you enjoyed reading it and I would love to know exactly what you think about it so feel free to review it! :)**

 **In advance, I thank you all for reading and I hope that you will enjoy this story as much as I am enjoying writing it for all of you. Until the next time. - Bathsheba Blythe**


	2. Anne's Realisation

_**Chapter II**_

"I can't believe that you're going to change schools this September, girls!" Lily exclaimed excitedly "It seems that we all are going to be adults in less than a year's time!"

March was outside the window of Hester's small bedroom in the old House of Dreams and with it came the constant rain hitting the glass of the window with an enormous speed. Lily came back home for a week for Easter break and so she spent most of the rainy days with her "pretty girlies" and all of them couldn't be more overjoyed that she could spend so much time with them even though she had her upcoming exams in Queen's just in two months time.

Hester in March that year was more melancholy than ever before and she herself didn't quite realise why. Her smiles were somewhat distant and her eyes not really "there" and if she could she would spend all that rainy month playing her cello or a violin in her own cosy room. But she shared this melancholy state of her mind with Vance.

It has been three months since Hester's brother and Vance's brother went overseas and started their training in England in the royal air force. Gilly was exchanging letters with his family on very regular basis because he knew that if he wouldn't do that his mother would make sure that he would know about her disapproval of such behaviour. Gilly sounded as cheerful as always, even through those letters, and he was saying in every letter that he "enjoys England's countryide and the views" but he was mostly excited about the time when he would be going to the front which he and Marshall were both told about and that July would be the month of their sending to the front. Because of that information and the knowledge that July will come in a blink of an eye Hester knew that that was the reason for the most part of her melancholy although she thought that she could get over her fears about Gilly's future, she now knew she could not.

March was also the month of more war news which for Hester and her family seemed never-ending and they all dreaded each day to wait and listen to the radio together during breakfast and hear of all the terrible things that were happening in the world. The German air raid on Scapa Flow caused the first fears for Britain of being bombed and caused Shirley Blythe to start writing long and detailed letters to both Gilly and Marshall telling them about his own experience as a member of the RAF twenty years earlier, he wrote to them so often as if he could shield them from pain and horror by his own words of advice. Also the news that Britain and France officially agreed that neither will seek a separate peace with Germany only caused Hester and her entire family to feel in their bones that the war will continue longer than they all originally thought it would.

But because it was a week off school and all of Hester's girls decided not to revise during that period of time, she had her mind occupied with different and more jolly thoughts and sights. For example that very afternoon with all of her friends sitting on her bed, their all feet fighting their own fights with each other and the sound of rain tumbling against the window was a perfect excuse for all the fears and doubts of Hester's to drift off somewhere far away for a little while.

"We still have quite a few years to _really_ become adults, Lily." Marion replied to Lily with her angelic smile upon her fair face.

"We might never be adults at all." Lily said thoughtfully and then smiled again "I hope that _this_ will be the case for all of us." and all the other girls smiled back at her too, wishing for the same thing as she.

"I do hope that the final exams will go smoothly." Vance said worriedly, her blue eyes focused on her feet.

"Vance, you are so very smart, you'll be fine." Hester touched her friend's shoulder gently and smiled at her in Hester's old and kind way "You must be more positive, in those upcoming times especially." she looked deeply into her friend's eyes meaningfully.

Lily, Marion and Vance looked at Hester at the same time and all grinned at each other with a blink of hope and a droplet of bravery in their young eyes. "Did you all decide whether or not you want to go to a university?" Lily asked all of them suddenly knowing that to change a topic would be a good decision in that situation.

"I don't know at all." Marion said quietly "I think that I would just like to be a teacher in our school here in Glen." she grinned at the thought.

"You would be a wonderful and a patient teacher, I'm sure." Hester squeezed Marion's hand with a soft smile on her face.

"I agree." Lily smiled at her younger sister "And you, Hes?" Lily turned her head to her black-haired friend sitting opposite to her "Are you going to go to Juilliard and become a famous composer?" she winked at her knowingly and Hester chuckled at Lily's expressions so alike to her uncle Jem's.

"I don't know as well, Lily." she said honestly "I would love to go and study more about music, it's my greatest passion." her eyes started twinkling as she looked at her cello standing patiently in the corner of her room "But I always wanted to become a teacher, like my Miss Posy, and teach about this passion to others."

"That wouldn't stop you from going to Juilliard though." Lily raised her eyebrow in a funny way and Hester smiled at her again.

"It wouldn't, that's true." she replied "But I don't even know if I want to go there yet. I still have two more years to decide."

"That's true as well." Lily sighed again and then looked lightly at Vance "And you, dear Vance, do you think of going to a university?" she asked her.

Vance's cheeks blushed a little "Oh, well…" she started "I don't think my parents would have enough money to send me even if I wanted to." she said shyly but not wistfully.

"But do you want to go, Vance?" Lily asked her softly.

"I think I would like to but I wouldn't want to leave my family for so long either so I don't know." she answered and everyone knew in that moment that Vance wasn't exactly comfortable talking about that topic for a while yet.

"I'm still _so_ annoyed that you won't be going to Queen's though." Lily crossed her arms, pretending to be angry at them although the corner of her lips was overcome with a smile "We would be all together in the same school again!"

"But we just prefer to stay near our parents." Hester smiled at Lily kindly "Besides I will be going to the Music School in the Upper Glen and this is much more useful for me than going to Queen's."

"Fair enough." Lily said and then she uncrossed her arms and smiled at all the girls again and then focused her eyes on Hester "So… show us what you'll be bringing to this Music School of yours Hester." and then she turned her head towards the cello lying on the floor.

"Well, I _was_ supposed to play for you today, I know." Hester pretended to be annoyed that she has to play her cello for her friends but the smile on her face betrayed her as she stood up from the bed and took her cello and her bow in her hands.

Lily, Marion and Vance sat up straight and looked with interest and excitement at Hester who was sitting down in her chair and was putting notes in front of her, looking like a true professional musician. It was those small moments that counted the most, and they all knew it and felt it.

* * *

19th May 1940

Dear Phillip,

Thank you so very much for your birthday wishes and the wonderful recording of Bach's you sent me. I already listened to it twice but you probably guessed that.

I can't quite believe that I am truly _sixteen years old_. I remember when both of us and the girls talked about being sixteen just soon after we all became friends. We all thought it would take such a long time to turn sixteen but it really didn't. You are _already_ sixteen for three months now! I thought I would feel so adult-like and mature but I don't. I feel quite the same and this makes me nervous, how do you know that you get more mature with age? Do you know what I'm taking about Phillip or am I just blabbing nonsense? I sometimes think I do but then I know that if nobody else understands me, _you_ will.

Are you following the war news as frequently as we do? Sometimes I wish I could just decide not to listen to this radio of ours and hear what it's going to tell us about the world so unknown to me and its horrors within it but I can't help it, I _have_ to listen all of this because I know that the news concern our Gilly and so my family.

Germany invaded France, Belgium, Luxemburg and Netherlands this month and I can't even imagine how those poor people living in those countries feel in this moment because of that. So _so_ many things have happened and are still happening it terrfifies me, I can't even get my head around it all. Do we all still live in the same old world or am I just dreaming? I used to be so thankful for my imagination but now I regret I have any. I always used to think about my dreams and the future I would like to have just a few minutes before I would go to sleep but now I can't do it, there's no bright future I see for me with this terrible war going on. But let's stop here, I know that I shouldn't think about it all that much and also that I shouldn't stress myself even more than I do already.

You're right, I am in the middle of my exams and so are Marion and Vance and of course Lily too, although Lily has different kind of exams than us because she's at Queen's. I'm glad to hear that you're dealing just fine with all of your exams and I wish I was too but I'm not. I revised lots and lots but I still feel like I should be revising more _and more_. Dad says that he has never seen a person who would revise more for her exams than myself and Mum says that all of the ambitions for learning she never had _I_ have and they're both probably right but what can I do, Phillip? I can't just _not_ revise, I would go entirely crazy if I didn't! How do you do it that you don't get as nervous as I do, Phillip?

There might be another reason for me being more nervous than I should be, to be honest. As you know, Selwyn will turn eighteen next month and this means that he will be able to enlist to the army just like Gilly did…

Our parents are very worried whenever they look at him, both Selwyn and I can see that but Selwyn stays silent and is in one of his old dreamy moods when he goes to the Rainbow Valley with a pen and a piece of paper and starts writing poetry under one of the trees there for the whole evening. I know that that's when he thinks whether or not he should enlist.

I know that John and Walt _will_ enlist in July because they talk about it all the time as that's also when Walt turns eighteen, he's the youngest of their trio. They don't put any pressure on Selwyn consciously but they really _are_ and everyone apart from them knows that. Selwyn is in the middle of his own indecision and I wish I could help him carry this burden, but I know I can't, and this is making me feel even more nervous.

Thankfully in two weeks time all of my exams will be over and at least this burden of mine, which doesn't seem meaningful at all compared to the one concerning Selwyn, will not be "touchable" for me anymore.

Phillip, I'm sending you jar full of jam which my Grandma Anne made with Auntie Una two days ago because I know that you'll love it as much as I do.

I have to go back to my studies now, my friend.

Thank you for writing to me so often.

Always Yours,

Hester

* * *

There is nothing better than the sun shining right down on the Earth and the wind dancing with the leaves on the trees enveloped in the peace May carries wherever and whenever it comes.

Everyone in Glen and Four Winds felt it and appriecieted it. It being the feeling of peace on that day, the last day of May in 1940. It could be felt especially in the calm Rainbow Valley which was fulfilled with the magic of spring. Lily, Marion and Vance sat along John, Cornelia, Walt and Selwyn under the shade of the White Lady and enjoyed each other's company by talking and also trying their best not to focus on the war news.

Lily was almost finished with her exams at Queen's and so was allowed to come for a weekend to the Island and visit her family. She was even more overjoyjed because she could also spend some more time talking to John who still had a very tender place in her young heart although it ached when John's heart ached as he watched how Walt's hand was squeezing Cornelia's.

Both Lily and Marion were making the most of their time with their older brother Walt too and so on that day they both were looking up to his face, just to catch the glimpse of it and his tender, funny smile because they knew that in a blink of an eye he would be going overseas to join Gil and Marshall in war.

Selwyn was writing in his notebook and his gaze was immensely focused on what his hand was doing. However his face wasn't gloomy or very full of thoughts as a small grin was making its way to the corner of his pink lips at the sound of a violin sounding from a distance. It was the only thing that could stop him from writing and allow him to lift his head and look at the almost dancing figure of his sister with a violin in her hand.

Everyone turned their heads towards Hester and they listened to the music she played and they knew that she wasn't aware of them or their looks and they were all glad she wasn't aware of those facts because the music she played wouldn't sound half as uplifting as it did.

"A mind of a musician is very much different from a mind of any other person." Selwyn said quietly, his eyes following the black-haired young lass in a white dress reflecting the rays of the sun shining onto it "Everyone who can play an instrument hears music very differently to all the people who don't."

"Yes." Lily added just as quietly, all the eyes including her own being still focused on Hester "And it's fascinating to watch as well." she smiled radiantly.

"I swear Hester has played this sequence before." John said suddenly "But quicker this time I think."

"It's her own composition." Marion explained, her angel-like eyes follwoing her friend's moves as if she indeed was dancing with the wind "She is composing a song for around ten violins she said."

"And so she plays different notes for a different violinist each time." Lily smiled with pride over Hester "I can only hope to hear the whole composition one day."

"I'm sure we all will." Vance and Selwyn said at the same time and both blushed when their eyes met and then smiled at each other in their own way, the kindred spirits way.

"I would never think that I could enjoy classical music so much." Walt said suddenly with his arm around his sweetheart who kissed him softly on the cheek.

"Neither would I." Cornelia agreed with him with dancing eyes "But nobody can resist something as extraordinary as this right here."

And all of their gazes were focused on playing Hester once more. It was amazing to see them all so focused, thought Anne Blythe who was watching them at that time through the window of Ingleside. She herself knew how all of their hearts ached just as much as her own when they were all listening to the war news each day and so she was rejoicing in the blissful picture they were representing in that moment. So peaceful and youthful and carefree like they all should be.

Anne chuckled at the sight of them because even though the three boys were almost eighteen and Lily seventeen and other girls sixteen, in that moment they looked as if they were all six years old at most, watching something extremely interesting and even fascinating. Her eyes then wandered off to her granddaughter in the distance who held a violin in her left hand and a bow in her right hand and who played with a focused but calm expression upon her young spotless face.

Anne smiled softly at her and her talent which was so different to all the talents every other of her grandchildren had. No, she didn't consider Hester nor any of her other grandchildren her favourite, but she did have a very special place in her heart for that black-haired, gifted and sheepish girl.

"I hope all of them will never be touched by grief or sorrow and that this war won't affect them in the way it affected their parents and my own self too." she whispered and a cold wave passed through her body and she shivered for she knew that everything she said would happen, in one way or another, one day.


	3. One Can Only Hope

**_Chapter III_**

For the first time in Hester's life the month of June wasn't playing a friend of hers. First of all the war news brought some terrible facts into her life which were that the Germans started to bomb poor Paris making her father to go pale on his face and wonder deeply on his recent trip there, remembering all the wonderful sights which might have been destroyed forever. Later Italy declared war on France and the United Kingdom making everyone shocked because it was the ally of both in the previous war.

Many more news were also heard by Hester and her family but they didn't matter as much when it came to one and certain morning in the warm month of June. Even though Hester finished writing her exams which she passed perfectly and was guaranteed a place at the Music High School in Upper Glen and so where she wanted to go since always, Hester wasn't thinking about that at all as it didn't matter to her on the day after her older brother Selwyn turned eighteen years old.

It was a foggy morning and it was extremely early when Hester woke up to see it with sleeplessness written all over her pretty face. Hester was in a state of a complete blankness of her mind and a total numbness of her body on that morning. Her head wasn't full of music, as it always has been, but of silence instead. She didn't even think about brushing her hair but only her teeth and also washing her face although just with water because soap didn't cross her mind at all.

When she sat down at the kitchen table and started eating her breakfast with both of her parents sitting across the table from her, both glancing at the empty chair beside their daughter, Hester felt as if her world was falling apart.

It was only when the silence of the House of Dreams was broken by Selwyn's steps from the upstairs filling the atmosphere, Rilla's eyes turned wide with expected fear and Ken's hand found her own under the table at the same time as Hester's eyes were focused on the doorway expecting her older brother to appear there in any moment. Selwyn sat down next to Hester with a relaxed expression upon his young face although his eyes were quite serious and stern-looking, as if a flash of anger towards his own decision was creating a rage inside his soul.

Rilla, Ken and Hester looked at him almost afraid to say anything at all and just as soon as Ken opened his mouth to ask Selwyn about his decision, his son looked up at him, Rilla and Hester and said in his old calm voice: "I talked to Walt and John yesterday and we decided to enlist a day after John will turn eighteen." his fists clenched for a split of a second and when relaxed again it seemed as if he released a ball formed of his nerves into the air.

Hester felt that her face started to heat up and her heart started to miss a couple of its beats. She needed to hug him and hold him close to her for as long as she could and was allowed to, she just _needed_ to but she knew that their parents had to speak before her and the waiting caused small rivers of tears stroll down her cheeks gently, almost unnoticeable for anyone to see.

"We will always support you, son. Whatever your decisions will be." Ken said, his own voice struggling to be heard as he smiled at his younger son with pride mixed with inevitable fear.

Rilla stood up from her seat and marched towards Selwyn. She silently put her shaking small hands on his cheeks and raised his head to kiss his forehead tenderly, a soft smile appearing on both her and Selwyn's lips, the same inherited smile they both shared. "May God always keep all you dear and brave boys safe." she whispered and decidedly forbid herself to sob, even a little.

Hester's lips twisted downwards and as soon as Rilla came back to the kitchen not knowing how to wash the dishes properly and Ken grabbed a newspaper not knowing how to read the first title at all, Hester immediately put her arms around her beloved and kind brother as if afraid to let him go anywhere where she wasn't. "I'm so proud of you.". she whispered into his ear.

Selwyn hugged his sister back and kissed her cheek gently "Hester, what I am about to do is not something I will be proud of in the end." he whispered back with a faint sound of regret and fear in his voice.

Hester sat back up and looked directly into his eyes, still having her hands wrapped around his neck "Can't you stay then?" she whispered again although her eyes remained hopeless.

Selwyn smiled softly at her "You know I can't, Hester." he said "This is what I _have_ to do, what many others did, are doing and will be doing after I do as well. It's not a wonderful duty one must fulfill but I will do my best to do just that."

"We are sure you will, son." Ken said finally, giving up on reading his morning newspaper althogether.

"Oh, my darling baby…" Rilla put down her apron and put her hands on her son's head protectively "I am so _very_ proud of you." she whispered and then put her hand on Hester's head too "Of _both_ of you becuase I know myself how hard this will be for you Hester too. I was in your exact same position all those twenty years ago." she looked briefly at her husband who smiled at her lovingly and knowingly at the same time "But," she kneeled down to the level her two children's faces "-I'm sure that _both_ of you will only make us proud, whatever you'll do." she looked at Selwyn again "And you, my dear boy, have to make sure to always be safe if not for your own sake then for your family's." and she smiled bravely through forming tears in her hazel eyes.

"I promise." Selwyn replied seriously and then let his mother and sister to embrace him tightly, knowing that he would need that hug from both of them more then ever before in his life.

* * *

26th July 1940

Dear Diary,

I haven't written in here for a while again, I apologise for that. I just have been so busy I can't believe it myself. Although I finished my exams a while ago, I started composing this one song which is in my head _all the time_ , especially when the sun shines through the clouds and I look up to the sky and see it. I called this song "Hope and Our Rainbow Valley" because the sound of it is the definition of both. It's very hard to compose, very hard indeed, especially for a person like me who is still learning how to interpret notes the notes and write them down to reflect what is in my mind.

This song will be for, I calculated, ten violins, four cellos, one piano and two basses. So I have lots and tons of notes to write and experiment with myself. Miss Posy is a dear and helps me to plan out what to write first and how to mix it with the whole idea that's in my head. She herself thinks that once I will write down the whole song, it will be beautiful and I can only hope that it will sound as beautifully as it does in my mind.

That's why I spend so much time in the Rainbow Valley too, I take my violin or my cello along with the pieces of paper and a pen and I play, play, play for at least three hours straight. Nobody minds though and Grandma Anne with Grandad Gilbert come often to sit down under the White Lady with books in their hands and snacks on the blanket on which they sit and that is how half of my day would be filled.

Of course that's not what I do _all_ the time and all day long, I _can't_ considering the fact that so much is going on both around me _and_ in my mind (apart from that song I just wrote here about).

I suppose that the reason why I didn't start off this entry with the fact that my brother Selwyn and his friends Walt and John enisted to the LFC is because Selwyn told me not to make it such a big deal. But _it is_. And such an important one.

When all three of them marched off "to town" as they say, I couldn't sleep that night at all, I couldn't focus on anything and I couldn't feel anything too. It was just like when Gilly enlisted with Marshall, the same feelings but stronger somehow. I suppose that the reason for them being stronger is because it's _Selwyn_. It's the poetic brother of mine whose heart is so sensitive and seeks beauty in the world every single day. I love him for that but the world of war hates hearts like his and he knows that well.

But just like Uncle Walter, our Mum told us, Welwyn feels that it's his duty to go and fight for the peace in the world and although it is a very honourable cause I am afraid for him. I am afraid more for his soul to come out of the war damaged than for him to… to die. I'm sorry my hand is shaking so I will go and fetch myself some tea to settle down.

I'm back now. I can't help but remember how similar both Selwyn and Uncle Walter are. I just hope that there's no fate in this world and no destiny although I am a strong believer of both. But I just hope and hope that Selwyn isn't destined like his Uncle Walter was… to perish. Mother said that she thinks the whole idea ridiculous but I could see how the hairs on her skin stood up at the thought and how her face got pale.

Selwyn returned with his friends in khaki uniforms and only then I realised how grown-up he is already since putting on this uniform. He suddenly got taller, Dad said as well, and his shoulders got broader I think too. He is so handsome and so dreamy, still, on his face. I am so proud of him, so very proud my heart is aching at the thought that my older brother is so brave and wonderful.

Selwyn, John and Walt are meant to leave for their training in two weeks time and so they still have some time to spend with all of us. I am especially grateful for this time because all of our cousins are here back at home and we can all spend the time together before the "Three Muskeeters" will go on their training.

However it is just the beginning of all the news and happenings in our not-small family. Because Walt enlisted, he looked up to the example of Marshall and he too proposed to his sweetheart and that is Cornelia of course, Vance's older sister. But Walt was much luckier than Marshall because now Cornelia is wearing a shining old diamond ring on her right hand with pride in her eyes. Yes, they got engaged and the very fact that they did and that they're so happy together gives my heart "a happy sigh", as Selwyn said.

But of course their engagement means a further agony for John, who is _still_ in love with Cornelia. This is all a big secret and I only know about it because Selwyn told me one day but I can also see it clearly all over John's face whenever he looks at the beauty Cornelia Douglas is.

I feel so sorry for him but not as sorry as I feel for Lily. My darling friend Lily who hates the very idea of John being somewhere not especially close to happy. She is desperately in love with him. Some might think how is that possible that she feels that way about him when they don't really spend this much time together but I and our Group knows how that's possible. They exchange letters, millions of them. Lily is at Queen's of course and John was and is still in Glen and so their correspondence is a bit of a secret to everyone. Lily said to me yesterday when she and I took a lonely walk down the Rainbow Valley that John makes her feel much more alive and that he is the most positive and funniest person she knows. Her eyes shine so much whenever she speaks of him that it makes my heart hurt because I know how happy she would be if John would see her in this special light in which she sees him.

Maybe one day he _will_.

I was writing about Lily and John so much not just because it is the topic which is very complicated and weighs on my soul too but also because I am really dreading to write the next piece of news, _much more important_ to me news I will be selfish enough to say it.

My brother Gilly and his friend Marshall headed off to the front last Friday and we just got Gil's first letter from France (although he changes his location almost everyday) yesterday. He says that he is happy that he has something to do now and that he finds being a pilot very inspiring although he did imagine it differently, just like Uncle Shirley said about his own flying experience.

Gilly, the _Flight Lieutenant_ , is still excited although I can read through his letter that the reality of the war is "slowly dawning upon him", the phrase I used here is what our Dad said and I will believe in everything he says especially because he himself had seen the war with his own eyes.

I am so proud of Gilly, we all are. When Mum read Gil's first letter from the front she held it up in her hand and tears started to fall down her cheeks as she said: "My boy! My boy is a _real hero_!" with such pride in her eyes I myself started to tear up because these are my feeling exactly.

I am scared for him, immensely scared to tell the truth. But then I do have faith and I do have hope and courage just like my Mum has told me to have because I can see that she has all of those qualities herself. She is so very strong, Dad and Grandad Gilbert always say that and I say it now too.

We all have hope that both Gil and Marshall will come back home safe and sound even if this will take ten years, they _will_ come back.

I am so thankful that my brother is "over there" with Marshall because I know that they are looking after each other. Vance got a letter from Marshall yesterday too and she said that from what he was writing she could feel that his spirits lifted up a bit since Jo and their 'disagreement'.

Jo doesn't write to Marshall but she does write to Gilly. He admitted that it really annoys him and that she herself starts to annoy him very much although they have been friends until Jo rejected Marshall's proposal. Gil wrote to me that he told her through a letter of course, that he wants her to apologise to Marshall and ask for them to continue on being friends because "for goodness's sakes, you owe him that much. He is fighting for you too so just get off from your high horse and say you're sorry, Jo." - he wrote me this sentence in his letter, which is exactly what he told Jo to do and I support him in that decision. I can only hope that she will send this letter with apologies to Marshall because as much as I don't quite like him as a person, he _was_ hurt by her and with no reason at all.

I will have to go and help Mum and Auntie Una to prepare dinner so I just have a small amount of time to say one more thing in here.

Phillip was supposed to come to Canada for the summer but he won't unfortunately because he is preparing for the entry exam to the school he wants to go to and this exam will take place at the beginning of August so he can't come which makes me very sad because I do too need him here by my side as my friend, especially because we haven't seen each other since last summer.

But he _did_ promise he will come next summer and I trust his word on that.

There, I can hear Mum calling me from downstairs so I will be going then.

It's nice to write in here all that is happening, I feel more free now as if a quarter of the burden that I'm carrying was lifted up from my shoulders and it just disappeared.

Yours,

Hester (who will try to write in here more often although she can't promise anything)


	4. Life Goes On Somehow

**_Chapter IV_**

It was like a repetition of the dream Hester had when she was standing on the platform of the train station of the Glen St Mary once again. She felt as if the last time she was there, when Gil left with Marshall for England, she wasn't really _there_ and that that day never really happend. It was as if God was playing a trick on her, making her to pretend that that day and the day she was now facing again were in fact the one and only reality.

The station once again was full with young boys in khaki uniforms and their families, friends and sweethearts. The only thing different about this day compared to the one in January, was that it was extremely hot and the sky was entirely cloudless. Selwyn's face showed his gratitude for the weather on that day, Hester could easily see it on his face and so could the others.

John and Walt were so excited for catching a train to their "breeze of adventure" that nobody seemed to worry too much about those two, their spirits that is. Selwyn however wasn't excited, as it was expected from him, but he wasn't scared either as he told his parents and his sister a day before at the last family dinner they all shared. He felt relieved that he enlisted and he still felt that way, on that day at the train station when he was about to face his own reality of the war.

This time more members of Hester's family were at the station, all patiently waiting for the arrival of the train which was still dreaded by everyone, by every single person at the station. Hester was dressed in her best dress and she also put on her half-hat in the same colour of her dress which was lilac. She looked like a movie star even though she was just sixteen years old and shy, she also wore no make-up in contrast to Jo Meredith, John's older sister of course.

Even though Jo's character was just as it always had been which could be described as spiteful, and simply not understandable in any way, on that day her eyes were full of tears and the only reason she was stopping them from rolling down her cheeks was the mascara she was wearing. Jo was really afraid for her brother because it seemed that he was the only person, along with her parents and all the people older than her, whom she treated with an utter respect out of all her cousins, that including Hester.

John had his secret hidden deep underneath his khaki uniform and behind a smile upon his beautiful young face, which by the way was a spitting image of his father Jerry. Even though hurt could be seen clearly in his eyes when Cornelia was putting her trembling hands on her fiance's, Walt's, cheeks, he was fighting with it bravely as if preparing himself for the other kind of fight he would soon have to face.

Lily was on her own mission that day. She was the brightest spot at the train station, she was smiling, laughing, cheering, singing _and_ even dancing. All of her clothes and so her dress, hat and shoes were yellow, for luck and happiness as she said to Hester an hour before they all headed off to the train station. Lily was chuckling happily with her older brother Walt as well as whispering some funny little stories of hers into John's ear just to see him smile and keep his mind off something he knew he couldn't have. Hester knew the reason behind Lily's actions on that day, Lily knew that that was the only thing she knew she was good at at times like this and that was to make everyone around her happy and she was doing a splendid job indeed, even though her hands trembled when nobody was looking. Hester couldn't help but smile herself when she was looking at Lily. She was so proud of her that she could keep so positive and optimistic as well as so… joyful even on that day of days which that particular day definitely was for both Lily and Hester.

But then her eyes would drift off to Marion, Lily's and Walt's younger sister, and Hester would sigh wistfully. Poor Marion was doing her best to keep smiling, looking up to both her friend and a sister Lily but her fragile soul didn't allow her to smile as much as she wanted to. That is why her shoulders were surrounded by Walt's to give her more hope and courage just as much as he had himself.

Hester looked up to Selwyn's face and he looked down at her own and they both smiled at each other lightly, Selwyn drawing his sister closer to him. "Maybe I'll meet Gilly over there one day." he whispered suddenly, looking straight ahead at the sea of people in front of him. Hester shivered when he said "over there". His tone when he said it was very stern and strange as if it wasn't Selwyn speaking but some stranger she didn't know.

"You never know, son. You might." Ken said gently and patted Selwyn on the shoulder, a grin stitched painfully to his lips.

"I will be sending you as many apple pies as I can, alright, my dear?" Rilla said suddenly, her voice nervous over the thought that Selwyn might be afraid himself that she wouldn't send as many pastries as he knew she would.

Selwyn chuckled, his old spirit showing through his grey eyes "Mother, you really _don't_ have to." he said finally and Rilla only waved her hand and kissed his cheek.

"Of course I do." she said decidedly "What are mothers for, my darling?" she said to him, patting his cheek softly with a tender smile on her lips.

Hester and Selwyn smiled at each other knowingly and then at their mother. But before anyone thought of something to say, a long and loud whistle of a train filled the air and just like in January, everyone stopped chatting and even stopped moving at the sound of it.

But with it came a faint, very faint sound of the Piper playing. The sound came from everywhere and Hester was certain then, she was reassured that she was not mistaken in January when Gilly and Marshall were going away to the front and she knew then that she _did_ hear the Piper piping softly but on that day in August his music was clearer somehow. The music made her shiver and caused the hairs on her arms to stand on their ends fearfully, although it was an unbelievably warm day.

Everyone clung to their precious young boys instantly.

Rilla put her hands on Selwyn's cheeks and closed her eyes when their foreheads met. She couldn't help but think about Walter, her own brother, whose soul and the view of the world was so very alike to her younger son's and she couldn't push the thought away, that terrible thought which was that maybe Selwyn's destiny was like Walter's. Rilla opened her eyes though and smiled bravely through that thought. She kissed her son twice on each of his cheeks "Never fear and never regret anything, my darling boy. I will always be with you, _here_." she pointed to Selwyn's heart and Selwyn kissed her own cheek whispering "I love you, mum." into her ear.

Ken quickly embraced Selwyn then, also whispering to him that he is so very proud of him and that Selwyn is to write to them as often as he can. Ken let go of his son finally and then came to Rilla and put his arms around her, breathing just as heavily as she was. "I'm even more glad that Hester isn't a boy now, Rilla-my-Rilla." he said to her softly, still looking at Selwyn who was making his way over to Hester.

"Me too." Rilla whispered back and Ken kissed her forehead softly both knowing that even though Hester wasn't a boy and couldn't go off to the front like her brothers, she was still exposed to pain and fear, a different kind but still she could be facing both sooner or later.

Selwyn came over to his young sister and kissed her nose with a sweet light grin on his lips as if to give himself and her too strength for two different journeys both of them were about to take "Always write to me Hester, I know that from all the people I will need your letters the most." he said to her and Hester wrapped her arms around him quickly, afraid to let him go.

"I will write to you _every_ single day, Selwyn." she said to him decidedly, her voice shaking a bit "Please, be careful." she whispered and closed her eyes tightly not to allow any tears roll down her cheeks.

"Always." he whispered back and smiled at her one more time.

Suddenly someone kissed Hester at the forehead and she knew it must have been John and then someone else hugged her from behind, this must have been Walt of course. It was all a blur, the whistle of the train was loud and the Piper was faintly playing, still playing.

The three friends and cousins were waving to their families as the train started to move faster and faster. Lily and Marion suddenly took hold of Hester's hands and were all cheering their hearts out for them, even though soft tears were falling down on all of their flushed cheeks.

"They _will_ come back." Lily whispered as if to herself, her smile still widening on her face "They're _our_ boys. They _will_."

Even though both Hester and Marion smiled at that hopefully neither of them had the courage to agree with Lily outloud.

* * *

21st August 1940

Dearest Hester,

You have no idea how sorry I am not to be able to answer your letter earlier than today. I know that being busy with my studies and my parents insisting on me studying hard even though I _do_ have holidays and no school yet, is an explanation. I know you will forgive me, you always do because you have such kind heart but I really do feel sorry and ashamed of myself because I know that you always reply to my letters in a time of one day.

I am very glad that you got through the day of your brother and your cousins leaving for their training quite well. I am very proud of you, you know. You are _so_ strong and you don't give yourself enough credit for many things.

I am also very glad that you are always keeping me updated on everything happening in your life. It sometimes seems to me that even if I was to be going to see you tomorrow we wouldn't have anything new to share with one another, I know everything what's going on in Prince Edward Island and you know everything that is happening in New York.

I cannot believe that the British withdrew from the Italians! I was so hopeful that they would win this invasion but they didn't of course and it makes my blood run wild. And now Germans are really bombing Great Britian and I don't know what to think about it at all. The only thing that keeps me positive about that is that Gil and Marshall are there, as you wrote to me, to defend it. I have more faith in them than the whole British army right now. But enough of the war news now, I know that you don't feel comfortable while listening to them or reading them for that matter too.

Now, you ask me what I think about the situation with Lily and John. It's a shame that Lily and I don't correspond half as often as we do, Hester. But then everything happens for a reason, doesn't it?

I wasn't even surprised when you wrote to me that Lily actually kissed John before he jumped on that train with Walt and Selwyn, she was always wild and I know that fact myself. But it is a great dissapointment that John didn't kiss her back. I don't quite know how Lily must be feeling about all of this and that is why I admire her for her strength to do that.

However, Hester, just like you I think that "on one sunny day" he will regain his senses and realise that Lily is the one and only for him and if not, I will strangle him myself. And do not protest to _that_ , Hes.

It's still quite amazing to think that one of your cousins who is indeed _just_ two years older than us, Walt I mean, is already _engaged_! It makes me feel very strange indeed, just like you said how it made you feel.

I sometimes think that I'm not the marrying type at all, you know. What I mean is that I would _like_ to be married one day (which if it will happen at all, it will probably happen when I'm fifty years old, judging on how long it takes a girl to finally _just_ like me, eh, Hester?) but I just don't think that any girl would be ever interested in marrying a man like me.

Just look at me, my friend. An average looking boy with very strange techniques on how to make a girl like him (remember this _one_ particular girl, this black-haired girl of a name Hester?) and also with a very non-existing wanting to go to the war once he will turn eighteen. Quite boring, weird and an anti-patriotic man, isn't he?

Answering your question, yes I still want to become a lawyer, just like Lily does. But I'm not sure to which university I want to go yet, I still have two more years to decide though. But I'm happy to finally hear what kind of future you would like to have my friend. A music teacher, very nice and so much like you, and possibly a player in the orchestra you say? I like the second option very much too. Whatever you decide, I'll always believe in you, you know that, right?

Oh, dear God in Heaven, I forgot to go to the shop and buy Mother all the groceries she asked me to buy... I just noticed the list lying just next to me on my desk… So I have to go although I would still love to write more in this letter for you! But later I have to study History, _again_!

To apologise for my insuboridnation, I'm sending you this cameo I found in the shop recently (since I know you love brooches and I love seeing the photographs you send me wearing the ones I buy for you). The shopkeeper said it's from about the end of nineteenth century and the face of the woman engraved in it is to be the shopkeeper's mother apparently. Very pretty, isn't she?

I will write to you as soon as I can,

Remember that I will always be your loving and proud friend,

Phillip

* * *

6th September 1940,

Dear Diary,

It is officially a whole week gone, my very first week at the new school, the Music School for which I was and still am excited and thrilled about.

The first day was very stressful for me though. I didn't know anyone as obviously Vance and Marion went to the High School in the Lower Glen because they're not musicians, although, oh, I so wish they were!

When I was walking through the doors of this new school of mine I was thinking about how brave, so very brave my brothers are and so I faced my fear with less shaky hands than I thought I would.

It was actually a very nice and an interesting week. My mind during the lessons was occupied with thoughts not concerning the war, athough I couldn't help but think about Gilly flying all over Engalnd and Selwyn being trained at the camp too. I made a friend there and that was why my mind wasn't as occupied with those thoughts as I thought it might be. Flora her name is and she is also a violinist (like me) and she simply couldn't believe me when I told her that I also play a cello and a little bit of piano.

She is a very small but resolute creature, Flora is. She has the most fluffy, brown bob of a hair and the darkest eyes I have seen, even darker than Uncle Jerry's and his son's, John's that is. She's always excited about everything and uses italics in her every speech but I don't mind, she's funny too. She lives in Lowbridge but travels with her father to school in his car because he works in Glen and that's why he can give her a lift every morning and also after school. Flora too wants to become an orchestra member, just like me and actually most of the students in our new school.

I really like her but somehow I have a feeling that there's a dangerous aura about her, I don't even know _why_ I have this feeling exactly because she's so nice to me but even my parents told me that if I have a feeling like that I better start be more careful around her and I _will_ take their advice to my heart.

Nonetheless I'm very glad that I met her, at least I have someone to spend a break with, not like when we were still living in Toronto and I had absolutely no one to share my thoughts with. Also Flora and I sit together in every single class which is a nice feeling too.

I don't think that apart from Flora there's any other person in my class whom I could ever consider my kindred spirit. I know it's unfair for me to say such a thing but I just don't think that other people who I see at my new school are the kind of people who would be interested in being _my_ friend and I don't mind that as long as Flora will be my friend.

So I suppose that I am happier this week, not only because I met Flora but also because I started attending the school's orchestra so that is something of my dream slowly becoming a reality of mine.

I pray for my brothers, John, Walt and even for Marshall too every single night. I know that God will keep them all safe for as long as He can but I also know that so many other girls like me, _millions_ of them, pray for their own brothers, cousins and friends too so I suppose that God has lots of work to do right now.

Selwyn is doing fine at the camp he wrote to me recently, and also that he's slowly getting used to his daily routines there. He says that he's meant to leave for the front in December with John and Walt of course and they won't let them come home for Christmas like they let Gilly and Marshall the year before. This makes me unbearably sad but Selwyn told me to keep smiling for him and so I will.

Gilly is fighting the Germans in Britain and he says that he's in different cities and towns every single day. He says he likes that very much, he always liked travelling "but I never thought that _that_ would be the way I would travel around the entire United Kingdom!". He says that he and Marshall are keeping each other's company and are safe for now so that's one very good news.

My eyes are going to close in a second so I will finish for today.

All in all, this first week of school was very uplifting because it was simply better than I expected it to be. I am truly ready to say that although slowly, I am getting happier and less melancholy each day.

Goodnight then,

Yours always,

Hester


	5. So Many Feelings

**_Chapter V_**

As the bombing of London continued throughout the month of October and Warsaw's Jews were being directed to move into the Warsaw ghetto, Hester was already past her first month of a new school and she was used to her daily routine which she actually really enjoyed because it allowed her to focus more on the small joys in her own life rather than on all the worries her life was bringing to her.

While Hester was at school, she was always entertained by Flora who surprisingly was always ready to tell Hester another story of hers or rather of her family which was also as big as Hester's own family. After school Hester would cycle back home and on her way meet up with Marion and Vance at Ingleside for dinner. Afterwards the girls would talk for a while and finally would all head back home to do their homework because even though each of them were headed in very different directions in their future, each wanted to be as good of a student as one can be at school.

It was the last week of October and almost all of the leaves on the trees were gone, leaving a cheerless but enchanting melancholy in the air floating around everyone and everything. Hester and Marion had just finished their dinner with Anne and Gilbert and now they were in the Ingleside's living room. Vance was asked by her mother to go to their house straight after school on that day because she wanted to teach her daughters how to bake a flourless cake because Una was over at their house and that was her own recipe.

Hester was lying on the sofa with her legs underneath a blanket and Marion laid right in front of her with her legs covered under the same blanket. Two girls had cups of hot cocoa in their hands and were enjoying each other's and their grandparents' company. "Grandma," Hester said to Anne who was sitting at the table with a cup of tea in her hands "-is it true what my mum said yesterday, that Jo is _engaged_ to a boy from Redmond?" she asked.

Anne and Gilbert looked at each other and both sighed in unison "That is what the telegram she sent to Nan and Jerry says." Anne replied with a heavy heart "He's name is Colin apparently. But I just don't… think she really loves him because this is the first time we've ever heard of him." she shook her head, thinking about her oldest granddaughter.

"I'm sometimes afraid of what Jo will do next." Gilbert added and then sighed again "It's good to be unpredictable but she is _too_ unpredictable for sure."

"I agree with you, dear." Anne said to her husband and then turned her head to her two granddaughters sitting on her sofa "Do you know whether Jo and Marshall keep in touch at all? Nan told me that Jo said they did but one can never truly trust her every word. I hope that dear Marshall doesn't have any more feelings for her because if he does and is to hear of Jo's engagement his heart might get even more broken than it already is." she looked up and saw Gilbert looking at her with a knowing, loving and tender smile in his hazel eyes which her own grey ones reflected back.

"Vance told us that Jo did write to him and apologised for being so mean to him just before he left for the front." Hester replied "And Gilly wrote to me recently that they started to send each other letters regularly again and that he encouraged Marshall and thinks that Marshall eventually got used to the idea that he will never have Jo as his sweetheart again." she sighed softly, imagining how hard it must have been for her brother's friend to get used to an idea like this one.

"I knew that my namesake would help this poor boy out of his misery." Gilbert said with pride over his oldest grandson "I just hope that Marshall really _did_ get used to that idea, for his own good."

"I hope so too." Anne said "But Nan recently told me that Jo was talking about Marshall as if he _still_ was her sweetheart. That is why I was incredibly surprised to hear about her engagement to a man who apparently is _not_ called 'Marshall Douglas'."

"I have a feeling that one day Jo _will_ change." Marion said very suddenly and almost absent-mindedly "For the better of course."

All three of the people she loved and who loved her, all sitting in the same room, looked at her face and smiled at her kind heart, the kindest of all hearts. Hester squeezed Marion's hand knowing how hard Marion always wanted nothing but only happiness for every single person on the Earth and she smiled at her even more. "I have this feeling too, my dear." Anne said sweetly to Marion and both Marion and Hester smiled at their grandma and then at each other, feeling a sudden and a very welcome wave of warmth spreading through their young hearts.

* * *

25th November 1940

Dear Diary,

It seems that I am getting better and stronger everyday. I know that ever since Gilly left for his training in January (and certainly when he left for the front in July) and especially after Selwyn also left for his traning in August, I have been feeling very low because I just couldn't get used to the whole house of ours being so empty. I just couldn't get used to the idea that Gilly isn't upstairs putting on his radio and practising new swing-moves or that Selwyn isn't lying on the couch either writing or reading, ready to listen to all of my silly problems and give me his wise advice.

Now I can talk about what I feel because I feel better than before and before I just couldn't get it all out of me while not sobbing at the same time. So now I can actually _say_ how I felt and how I feel _now_.

I think that after Selwyn has left I was in the same state of melancholy and an absent mind like he was when he was thinking whether or not to enlist. It's quite strange and a bit funny that I felt like that. I can't, even if I wanted (and I _don't_ ) to, enlist to the army like he and Gil did. That is why I couldn't really get my head around to write in this diary of mine or to play my cello or violin as much as I always used to, I didn't even play _any_ piano at all.

But when I started going to my new school and I started to get used to (although I will _never_ get quite used to this) my brothers not being at the House of Dreams, I started to open up to my parents and grandparents on how I was feeling inside. They were all very worried about me and I was finally ready to cry out all of my worries and fears to my parents, grandparents Blythe and even grandparents Ford because we constantly talk over the 'phone and send each other letters.

I regained hope somehow, I don't even know _how_ that happened (Selwyn would be able to put it in words much better than I ever will) and I felt like Grandma Anne once said "I feel as though someone handed me the moon and I don't exactly know what to do with it". I think that hope really is so strong that once you have it inside you it's like riding a bike, once you learn it you'll know how to do it all your life.

My parents and I are even closer now than ever before I think. That's probably because I am the only one of their children living with them now. I really enjoy our evenings together, how Father edits new articles for the newspaper and whistles a song and how Mother cooks in the kitchen with me, both of us talking about everything.

We often talk about Gil and Selwyn and I sometimes can't bear the eyes of my parents, not only because of the fact that the shade of my Dad's eyes is the same as the shade of both Selwyn's and Gil's eyes, but also because of how worried they are about them. But like Mum said, "No matter how much I try, how proud I am and how happy for them to be doing their duty, I will always worry and think about my dear Walter who I know is now watching over them". When she said that, around a week ago, I almost cried myself to sleep again but this piece of hopeful me told me to shush and so only two tears rolled down my cheeks that night.

I am still afraid for them, even though I am more hopeful than I was. The other thing that keeps me in being hopeful is of course the pride I have in my heart whenever I think about them or when Gilly and Selwyn send us photographs of themselves in their uniforms: Gilly in front of an airplane with Marshall and their friends, and Selwyn laughing with Walt and John at their camp.

I know that Selwyn is much better than he was and I am so very glad that he is. He wrote to me recently that of course he still fears going to the front and also everything that he will be asked to do there but because he has his friends right next to him and the sense of doing his duty in his heart, he feels better about all of this.

Around a week ago (I really loose the track of time right now), Auntie Una came over for an afternoon tea and cookies and she brought me a letter, a faded letter with a very rushed but purely elegant handwriting and she didn't even have to say whose it was because I knew that it was my Uncle Walter's from the time of the first war. She said that because now I am in the same situation she and Mother and my other Aunties were she thought that it would be more than right for me to have this letter and to "keep faith" wherever I'll go.

Mum and Auntie Una shared a very knowing and a deep look I'd say, it said more than any other look I have ever seen between a pair of friends. I know why they both looked at each other like that of course, they both loved Uncle Walter and I can only imagine how long it took them to get used to the fact that they will never see him again.

Mum also told me the secret of Auntie Una's and that's that she once loved, loved-in- _that_ -way Uncle Walter but he never loved her back or at least never told her that he did. Auntie told Mum about this secret of hers shortly after Selwyn was born and so it was several years after Uncle Walter died and even more after Auntie realised she was in love with him. Mother and Auntie became best of friends after the war and so that is why Mum learnt about Auntie's secret but I can only imagine how hard it must have been for her to tell anyone about it.

Of course I would never tell this secret of hers to anyone, but Auntie knows that _I_ know about it. I could see in her eyes when she was giving me that letter that it was one of the most valuable things she possessed, maybe even the _most_ valuable. This broke and melted my heart and I didn't want to take this letter from her but she insisted with her kind smile and so I agreed and promised I would take good care of it. When Auntie left our house that afternoon, Mum told me that Auntie loves me like her own daughter and this is also the reason why she gave me this letter and I had tears in my eyes by then because I love her _so_ much too.

Both Mum and I read that letter together that night and we both cried over it. I have never seen Mother cry so much before and so that was one of the most emotional evenings of my entire existence, I think, and this is why I read this letter every single evening, just to help myself to remain hopeful and to "keep faith". I will. _I will_!

Something very exciting have happened to me this week. Flora and I have been asked to be a part of the Christmas concert at our school. I am to play the cello, Flora a violin and we are supposed to have a singer, a boy called Sebastian who prefers people to call him "Seb". Seb is a very tall boy, he's our age but he's as tall as Gilly is I'm sure, and he is very likeable. I like him, _really_ do. See, my cheeks are turning red already!

Seb is incredibly handsome, if I didn't see it (but I do) I would be able to realise that by looking at any other girl who would meet his eyes because she would blush and giggle instantly. Seb has really light brown hair, his skin is simply spotless (which, quoting Vance's mother, "is a miracle") and his eyes are crystal blue. I think that's his eyes that are the most captivating of all, they seem so very deep and I think they really _are_.

When we were first introduced, four days ago, he acted like a true gentleman. He didn't tease me or anything like that and we started talking about the concert but quickly started talking about music and then about books and so on. He talked with me and Flora for the whole lunchtime and we not only decided on which Christmas carols we're going to perform together but also on meeting after school too. Because Flora is picked up by her father and they drive to Lowbridge together, Seb suggested to walk _me_ home, something that never happened to me before and that is to be asked by a _boy_ to walk me back home (except for my brothers and cousins of course) and so I agreed.

We have so much in common! We both love music, but that's obvious, we were discussing the music of Vivaldi's and Bach's and we both started to talk about being in an orchestra one day, Seb wanting to be an opera singer though. His voice is truly remarkable and I really believe that he will be a very well-known opera singer one day, if he'll put his ind to this dream of his.

All three of us practise together every lunchtime and an hour after school now and I love every second of it, even though I have much less time for doing my homework. But I would never regret my decision on agreeing to be a part of his concert, it concerns music and there's no regret when it comes to music, not any.

I change topics all the time, I really don't know why and I'll try to focus on Seb and our friendship for now. Well, Mum said that I shouldn't call it a friendship just yet but I really feel like we've known each other for years and years. It's a bit like Phillip and I, once I forgave him all the teasing that is.

Seb is just so likable (like I said before), so polite and nice and he's funny too. When I talk to him I'm not even shy anymore, which actually surprised me. He enjoys talking with me too, he told me while smiling, and especially when I talk about my big family which he has too but he doesn't keep touch with them on regular basis which surprised me greatly. But he doesn't have any siblings though, nor does Flora. And so they both actually really like hearing about all the things I have to say about my own family and my brothers at the front. They really help me coping with them being away and I'm even more grateful for them because of that.

Really, I can feel as if Seb and I have been friends forever. And I… Well, I don't know… Maybe it's just his looks but then… I really _do_ like him, and possibly in _this_ way too, but it's too early for me to think about things like that, right? I mean I am just sixteen years old! But then… Oh I _don't_ know! Mother got her first kiss from Father in my age when he was going off to the front… _I don't know_!

I didn't tell this to anyone just yet, it's my small secret for now. I never really had a secret before. I always share everything with my parents and friends but now I will keep it for myself for as long as it will take me to figure it all out, somehow I will, I think, won't I?

Flora said to me today "I think that Seb is making sheep's eyes at you, Hesie!". I only waved my hand and said that it can't be true but I actually sort of, just a small tiny bit, hope that he is. But I just don't if I _should_ think that way! It's all so frustrating…

I just realised how selfish and horrible I am. I am thinking about things and situations like this one when so much horror is happening around the world! Whilst my brother Gil is fighting for his country and is in a constant danger and my other brother Selwyn will soon be doing the same! And my cousins too! I am thinking whether I have some feelings for Seb while at the same time Coventry has been destroyed by bombs, the Greeks are fighting against the Italians and Belgium declares war on Italy… Oh, I am a _terrible_ person indeed!

I am very tired as well so maybe this is why I am so emotional right now, I don't know… So many thoughts, so many feelings, but such a small heart and such a short time to think about it all…

I will be going to sleep now, I feel like this diary entry of mine was much more exhausting than the rest of my day today.

I will try to write in here soon.

Goodnight for now.

Yours,

Hester


	6. The Thought Of Romance

**_Chapter VI_**

The whole rehearsal room at the Music School in Upper Glen was filled with a sea of people consisting of families, siblings and friends. Everyone was awaiting the Christmas concert prepared by the students of the first year at the school. Hester was shaking behind the stage with a cello and a bow in her hands, Flora with her violin standing beside her was smiling from ear to ear and the tall boy of a name Seb was standing right next to them with his sweet and charming smile of a professional singer.

"It will be fine, Hester." Seb said to the trembling black-haired beauty next to him and then winked at her causing Hester's cheeks to flush with red and a timid smile appearing on her lips.

"It's just…There are _so_ many people out there." she said finally after a moment of silence.

"Then isn't it more exciting?" Flora said excitedly "More people will hear the music we will produce and they'll hear our talents too." she looked cheerfully at both Hester and Seb who smiled back at her. Seb then put his big and steady hands on Hester's quavering arms and looked deeply and reassuringly into her eyes.

"Hester, _you_ 'll be fine. You're the best cellist in the whole school and I know that deep down you know it too." he said and when Hester opened her mouth to suggest otherwise he shushed her "Don't argue with that. Now, music is your passion and so this concert will only bring you a good time and you really should enjoy it or at least try to." he said to her and withdrew his hands with a satisfying look in his crystal blue eyes.

Hester finally took a deep breath and smiled at him more steadily "I will, I _will_ enjoy it. You're right, Seb." she said with her voice shaking less. Seb grinned at her merrily and then it was their time to go on the stage with passion in their eyes and unnecessary notes in their hands.

Hester sat down on her chair and was paralysed when she looked at the crowd, heard nothing but silence and saw nothing but interest, excitement and expectant looks of the people in the audience. She gulped heavily. How in Heaven's name is she supposed to play for _so_ many people? Suddenly her dream of becoming an orchestra player terrified her to her very core and she was even more stressed. She could hear her own heart beating in her ears.

Suddenly her eyes caught the faces of her parents at the back, her grandparents, aunties and uncles too, including Marion, Vance and her other cousins. All of them had the same expression on their bright faces like every other person in that room but Hester also noticed the gleam of pride in each of their eyes and suddenly Hester felt her hands to relax and her lips to form into a soft smile. She realised that she wasn't doing this concert just for herself or to practise her skills or to improve them or to even enjoy this experience herself, she was mostly doing it for others and for her own family especially, for them to hear it and to enjoy it. She always knew that was the real reason of producing music, so that other people could enjoy it and find their own little piece of happiness in it. Only then when she truly realised that, she finally grasped that feeling of excitement over the fact that _she_ is the reason for those people's little piece of joy on that evening.

Hester put her bow on the strings of her cello and turned to face Flora standing on her right and Seb on her left and they all shared a knowing glance. After quietly counting four they started to play the first carol, "Silent Night". As soon as Hester started to play she forgot about the whole room full of people and focused only on the music she was producing with every move of her hands and fingers.

They played carol after carol, they smiled too and cheered with the people in the audience. Hester was in her own element, in her favourite place where the world is filled with music entirely, each corner of it. She quickly realized that that one concert made her more accustomed to how it is to be a musician, a real and a professional one at that too and goodness, she _really_ enjoyed it!

When the concert ended she stood up, bowed in front of the standing ovation and she simply couldn't help but laugh especially when both her father and her uncle Jem started whistling together as the loudest people in the whole room. Suddenly there was no war, no brothers or cousins of Hester's somewhere far away and out of sight or near any danger, it was just that one moment of pure happiness that filled her soul which was longing _and_ longing for a moment like that one for far too long. When _this_ moment finally happened it penetrated not only Hester's soul but her entire body. She felt as if wings started to grow on her back and indeed she felt like if she'd make up her mind to it she _could_ fly.

The moment had to pass and it passed as soon as she, Flora and Seb got behind the stage again and gave their place on the stage to two flute players already shaking from nerves like Hester did just twenty minutes earlier. "Told you you'd be fine, didn't I?" Seb squeezed Hester's hand gently and smiled at her radiantly, one of his curls falling onto his broad forehead.

"I know you did." Hester replied joyfully and squeezed his hand back surprising her own self by her own action which showed immediately as her cheeks turned positively scarlet "Thank you for believing in me." she said sheepishly while removing her hand from his.

"Always." he assured her with his sweet smile.

"And I will always believe in you too." Flora put her arms around Hester and kissed her cheek as she always used to.

It was obvious that on that particular evening Hester felt extremely loved by everyone and she couldn't help but smile for the rest of it, even when she had said farewells to her family and went back to the House of Dreams with Rilla and Ken with sleepy eyes and her heart yearning to see the faces of her brothers and cousins while also hearing her play that night.

As she put her head down on the pillow in her bedroom that night her heart was filled with an amazing amount of faith which she knew was close to the one Reverend John Meredith always carried in his. Although she knew it wouldn't remain in her own heart for very long and that it would get cringed between her own fears and worries, she was rejoicing in that small yet precious moment of awaited happiness of being young and free.

* * *

27th December 1940,

Dear Phillip,

I am so glad you liked this jumper my precious Grandma Leslie made for you. I am always telling her all about you and of such a good friend you are to me and because now Grandma Leslie and Grandpa Owen don't see me (and my parents) as often as we did when we lived in Toronto, she decided to make you something special because as she said to me: "Phillip is special to you, Hester, and therefore he's special to _me_ as well.". Isn't she a dear? Of course all of my grandparents are, I have to say that too because you know how I am.

You don't have to thank me for this silly pair of socks I made for you. They are terribly horrid but I _am_ learning and this pair is the best I have done so far. I can only be thankful that they do warm your feet, Phillip!

Also, while on the subject of presents, thank you _so much_ for the pearl earings! How on Earth did you afford them, Phillip? You spoil me so very much and I don't deserve it, my friend, I really don't! I know, like you said in your last letter, that they're not real pearls but _still,_ Phillip! I think that you already have sent me two pairs of earings and around three different brooches! I will never thank you enough and Lily suggested that when you'll come next summer I should wear all the jewellery you bought for me and greet you like that! I _will_ take her advice and do just that, to make you smile.

I know that you're busy with Christmas with your family all the way in Washington and that is why I am patiently waiting for your next letter. I have a distant relative living in Washington too, my Aunt Dora whom I have seen only once in my entire life. She is a "sister" to my Grandma Anne and it was a shame she couldn't come here to Avonlea to celebrate Christmas with us but (as you know), it's extremely far away. However her brother and my Uncle Davy came along his family this year and he truly is the most talkative man I have ever met in my life, even more talkative than my own Dad or Uncle Jem, if you can believe it. I love him, we all do, for that.

But because Christmas is almost entirely over in our family that is why I can sit down and write to you all about all the happenings that occured to this point of my life about which you still don't know about and constantly ask about too.

As you know, this year's Christmas was held again by Aunt Di and Uncle Jack at Green Gables. It's always so nice to come back to the beautiful Avonlea, especially when it's covered in snow. But this Christmas over there wasn't as beautiful as it always has been. But how could it be when Gilly is so far away fighting through the so called "Blitz" and flying somewhere between the clouds? Also how can Christmas be truly and entirely Christmas without my dear brother Selwyn and his John and Walt who have just arrived in France to fight at the front?

When Selwyn sent us the telegram that he is France I swear I thought I was going to faint, even Dad took my arm as if he could see it on my face and wanted to catch me in time. His letter came three days ago, exactly on Christmas Eve, sending us all love from the trenches out there, somewhere near Le Mans he said. I can now "hear" through his letters that he made peace with the decision of him being a soldier and I am so relieved because of that, although I still worry about his soul, you know, Phillip. I do hope he'll come out, both his body and soul, just fine and like before he enlisted.

The bombings, the bombings. That is all I hear in the war news, even if there are any others, that is all my mind focuses on. How frightening! I can't possibly imagine what the people affected by them must feel, especially when they hear the sirens. I get goosebumps by just thinking about it and that's why I can't imagine what the people out there feel in this kind of situation.

You know it's strange and you might think me ridiculous but I pray for _all_ the soldiers out there. For my brothers and my cousins the most obviously but also for all the other Canadians and the French people, the Britons and even Italians and Germans too. I said this to my Mum and Dad and they both smiled at me and said that it takes courage and a strong mind to do that in a time like this. I think it doesn't take _any_ courage to do that. I don't have any courage I think, at least compared to Selwyn's or Gilly's courage (they are _real_ heroes). Phillip, is it wrong of me to pray not only for our soldiers but also for our "enemies"? I hope not.

See, I was to talk about Christmas and all the joy coming with it and I talk about war instead. It penetrates me in every way you know, I only hope that your country, the grand America, won't join its horrors and so that you won't either (another thing I pray for, you see).

Christmas was really lovely even though we left empty chairs for Gilly, Selwyn, Walt and John and this alone made me melancholy and sad for a few moments. But even so Christmas _was_ lovely.

The girls and I walked through all the favourite places of ours, the Lake of Shining Waters, the Lovers' Lane, Hester Gray's Garden, the White Way of Delight, you know all of those beautiful places I told you about millions of times before. Grandma Anne and Grandpa Gilbert joined us too and we all had a snow fight in the end. I only wished you were there with us.

We all worry about cousin Bruce though. He seemed to be eager to enlist quite soon during eating our Christmas meal. His wife, Louisa, seems to be calm about it but she did have an anxious look in her eyes. Nobody said anything to him about it because he didn't speak of it directly either, we're just waiting for him to tell us all that he is going to a training. I can't bear the thought of him going off too and also him leaving his lovely young wife and his two sweet baby-girls who are like flowers because they're so sweet. That is why I am not going to be talking about it anymore, it just makes me sadder than I already am.

And now the last news in our family and this one is about Jo. Oh, Jo… Do you remember Phillip when I told you that she is engaged to that boy Colin from Redmond College? Well, she's not anymore. She called off the whole thing as if it was entirely of no importance and now claims that she in fact loves someone else, another student from Redmond College called Hawk. I don't and can't understand her and apparently nobody in our family does and can either. She either has a kind of heart which changes its opinion as quickly as the wind changes its direction or she simply doesn't respond to what her heart tells her. That is my opinion which clearly agrees with yours, as you suggested before in one of your letters.

Nobody truly knows what she's planning on doing next, be it her future career or her life in general, we _don't_ know. I can see on both faces of Auntie Nan and Uncle Jerry that they worry about her and that they are helpless because they can't do anything about her. I could see Auntie Nan talking about Jo with Auntie Di and I was happy to see them talking to each other again (face-to-face I mean) because I know that the twins' hearts know what each feels by just looking at both of those aunties of mine.

I must go to sleep now because I have no more energy left inside me and I swear that my eyes are closing right now.

I wish you now a very wonderful and bright new year of 1941 which is just around the corner (can you believe it by the way?). Hopefully it will bring you and everyone else I deeply love as well, happiness and joy of living.

Always your friend,

Hester

* * *

"Well, for the first time in my life I don't really know _what_ advice to give you, Hes." Lily shook her head and squeezed Hester's hand tighter, her hazel eyes locked in her friend's, searching for an answer.

January went in a blink of an eye and suddenly there was February of the brand new year of 1941 and the freezing wind covering all an eye could see. As soon as the year started Hester, with her resolution to be more joyful, quickly realised that it wasn't quite the possibility for her. It wasn't exactly because of her brothers and cousins being far away from home and safety at the front, but it was more because of her own feelings and indecision as well as a feeling of uneasiness.

Just a week after school began again in January, Flora took Hester by her hand after leaving their Science classroom and whispered into her ear that she needed to tell her something _and_ without the sight of Seb near them. Flora said to Hester that she was certain that Seb was in love with her. The information struck Hester like a bolt can strike a tree and although at first she wanted to argue with that, Flora and the situation itself convinced her that it was in fact true. All of the gazes, the sometimes unnecessary touching of Hester's arm as a sign of reassurance of something, the custom of Seb kissing her cheek softly once he walked her home after school; it was the situation Hester was in and she didn't feel right about it at all. She felt frightened by its whole concept of it.

Not only _this_ was "the thing needed an advice from Hester's Group to Hester" but there was also that the latest letters coming from New York and from under a pen of Phillip Jones, suggested that he in fact had feelings of that sort towards her too. He was sending her a lot of gifts, and recently some poetry he would read somewhere and a note saying "made me think of you" attached to it. And they were, most of them, romantic types of poetry which he sent to Hester.

So Hester's mind was whirling that one afternoon when Lily came back all the way from Queen's to Glen for the weekend and she along with Marion and Vance were all sitting in Hester's bedroom under a huge blanket. All of them listened to Hester and her "news", if it could be called news, and all of the girls fell silent as one and didn't know what to say, or like Lily said, what advice should they give her.

"Mum said that if I feel like I feel which is not interested in this kind of thing at all," Hester said to avoid the penetrating silence "-so then I shouldn't think about it for now and act as not interested in both Seb and Phillip, in _that_ way. But I _do_ think about it!" she covered her face in her hands desperately "I don't know why it has to be _me_ with this kind of problem!"

Lily put her arms around Hester and grinned lightly "I suppose that this "kind of problem" is one of those things everyone hates but just has to deal with somehow." she said and looked into Hester's eyes again "But I think that you once told me that you rather liked Seb in _that_ way though." she raised her eyebrow curiously.

Hester's cheeks flushed with pink but her expression was still gloomy "Well, maybe I still _do_ but I just don't want to have a sweetheart of any kind right now. Maybe ever? I _don't_ know." she covered her face in her hands again.

"I think your mother is right." Marion said quietly while putting her hand over Hester's and made her friend to look at her "You should leave this problem aside until someone will speak about it openly, be it Seb or Phillip." she smiled sweetly at her friend who smiled back at her weakly.

"I agree." Vance added calmly "And I think you should also focus on something different to take your mind off it, like your music for example." she smiled at Hester who smiled back at her, her cheeks coming back to her natural colour.

"And _I_ think you should feel rather flattered that two boys are after you, it doesn't matter whether _you_ like them back or not." Lily winked at Hester and she and all the other girls chuckled.

"You're all right, I know that much." Hester said eventually, feeling more relaxed "Thank you for all the advice, really. It is just the way I am, to overthink things, especially something like _that_." she said more gloomily again and Lily squeezed her hand once more.

"Don't you worry, dear." she said caringly "And just remember that you can always count on us and on our advice."

Hester smiled back at Lily, the eternal source of joy, and knew that she was right about that and she couldn't say enough to let them know how grateful she was for all of them.

The subject changed, as Hester requested herself, but although she smiled and participated in various conversations about books and school in general, her mind was still troubled. She knew that even though she was encouraging herself to stop thinking about those two boys, she couldn't stop imagining scenarios and think about all the what ifs. _But_ she was sure that she didn't want romance in her life, not just _yet_. It was too new of a revelation to her and she knew that well. Besides, she had enough to worry about, her brothers and cousins being at war that is. But even when it was four hours after her girls went back to their homes and Hester lay under the blanket on her bed, ready to be carried away to a far off land of dreams, she herself felt that her cheeks _did_ blush at the thought that romance might enter her life sooner than she thought.


	7. Surprising Revelations

**_Chapter VII_**

March came swiftly although it dragged unmercifully. The spring was slowly becoming visible with the green surface of grass being the winner between the battle against the snow, and the birdsong could be heard in the air although not quite clearly just yet. It was a month when Buckingham Palace was hit by a German bomb, as well as Portsmouth, Plymouth and Bristol were and it was also when the first British troops arrived in Greece. It was when Gilly and Marshall couldn't send as many letters to their families as they used to, they were simply too busy with flying in aeroplanes protecting their country, making their families almost sick with worry but also pride over them.

When one certain letter from Gilly came in which he stated that he's fine and "all busy, and hungry most of the time because we don't have enough time to eat anything!", Hester and her family could breathe in a more comfortable way than usually during that month. On that day of peacefulness Hester was alone in the House of Dreams, reading a book on the porch in front of her house wearing a thick jumper her grandma Leslie did for her and with a blanket spread across her knees.

Rilla was invited by Faith to help her prepare a birthday cake for Anne who was to be celebrating her seventy-sixth birthday just a day afterwards (something in which nobody, not even Anne herself, could believe for she didn't either look or felt like a seventy-six year old _madam_ ). Ken however was asked by Jem and Jerry to go and try to fix Shirley's car which broke a few days earlier and that particular Saturday was the earliest when "the men" could go and help him.

So Hester had the whole house to herself and because she thought it would be nice for all its ghosts to meet up inside, she went outside with another one of her books in her lap, reading it with a soft smile upon her face which signalled that she just posted two letters to both of her brothers whom she knew were safe for now at least. Her face was rested, pale as usual, and her black as the night's sky hair was put into a messy ponytail. But even though her hair looked disorganised, her blanket a bit frayed and the winter shoes she wore were worn out, she looked so calm and pretty that one could think she was in fact a true angel.

The angelic atmosphere was distrubed by the sound of the bicycle and its driver coming up the front of the House of Dreams. Hester looked up from her book and although her brows raised in surprise, her smiled widened at the sight of the blonde-haired girl "Hello there, Vance!" she said merrily to her friend and offered her a seat next to her which Vance readily took "Are you alright? We are all supposed to meet up at Ingleside in three hours time." she looked more worriedly at Vance's flushed face, Vance whose face was never really flushed.

Vance looked down as if she was embarrassed but then looked into Hester's eyes again "I know, I know, but you see," she started in a shaky voice "-I came to talk to you."

"What's wrong?" Hester put her book aside and took her friend's hands in her own, looking deeply into her green eyes "Did something happen to Marshall?" her eyes got even more worried then.

Vance's face turned very pale all of a sudden and she looked back into Hester's eyes " _No_! No, _nothing_ happened to him, _no_." she said quickly, catching her breath "It's just that there's something I want you to know about but I don't really want anyone else to know." she explained and the colour came back to her cheeks.

"Alright, what is it then, dear?" Hester asked her kindly, squeezing her hands reassuringly.

Vance breathed in heavily and breathed out in a similar manner, her eyes looking at Hester's shoes "I just hope you won't get mad…" she said but Hester stopped her.

"Mad? Vance you can _never_ make me mad, you know that." she assured her by giving her a smile, the one in which Vance trusted with her life.

Vance smiled back and decided to look into her friend's eyes finally "What I want you to know is that I think… that… _maybe_ … I think…" she breathed in again "-I think I'm in love with your brother." she said eventually.

Hester's eyes widened in surprise but she didn't seem alarmed at all "Gilly?" she asked although as soon as Hester said her oldest brother's name she knew that that wasn't the brother Vance was talking about.

"No, no." Vance shook her head, her nerves slowly vanishing "I'm talking about Selwyn." when she said his name her cheeks flushed with red all over again.

Hester grinned at her calmly and made her to look at her again by putting her friend's hands nearer to her "Are you sure, Vance? And how, _and_ when?" she asked with pure interest in her hazel eyes.

Vance smiled in her own sweet way "We have been writing to each other you see." she said "Since the day he was sent to that training camp. But I think I loved him a long time before that." she said gently and Hester wasn't surprised by her simple answer, she knew that Vance was feeling embarrassed and very timid because of her sensistive soul but she could also see that Vance really wanted to talk about that situation of hers.

"Oh, Vance…" Hester said with true joy in her shining eyes "Really? You really do love my brother?" she encouraged her to talk more.

"I know I'm too young to _really_ know, I know that Hester," Vance said suddenly with her tone more serious "-I turned seventeen a month ago and I know it's too soon for me to know, mother said that to me too, but..." her lips then turned into a delightful smile "I just _know_ , you know?" she blushed again, realising for how long she was speaking.

Hester squeezed Vance's hands again and her smile was getting brighter too "I wish I knew that feeling." Hester's eyes seemed to turn melancholy for a second but returned to their joyful side again soon after "Vance, I trust your word that you love Selwyn and I think that the two of you are _so_ perfect for each other." she said.

"Really?" Vance said with a disbelieving voice of hers "Of course I _never_ told him how I feel, I _can't_. I don't know how _he_ feels although I can only imagine that he doesn't even think about this kind of thing at all and I'm glad in a way, you know… But then…" her lip trembled "-what will I do if I will never tell him and he will…"

Hester put Vance into a warm hug "He _won't_ , Vance." she told her firmly, and to herself too "I _know_ he won't. I can feel it as much as I can feel the wind blowing on our faces right now." she looked into Vance's green eyes again and smiled into them "And I'll tell you this, I am very happy that that's how you feel about Selwyn and also that you will let your correspondence to continue without mentioning the word 'love'. Because as much as I know that Selwyn might love you too even _now_ , he wouldn't be able to bear that thought out there at the front, and I think that you know that too." her smile weakened a bit.

Vance nodded in agreement "I know that he's not ready for things like this, especially when he's at the front." she said and then put her head against Hester's shoulder "But I can't help imagining all the _what ifs_ …" she closed her eyes and her face turned dreamy, her expression very similar to Selwyn's own whilst he was writing poetry under the White Lady in the old Rainbow Valley.

Hester smiled at Vance and she closed her eyes as well, her own pale face turning dreamy as the sun shone bright upon both of their faces "And don't stop imagining, Vance." Hester whispered to her friend " _I_ won't.".

* * *

17th April 1941

Dearest Hester,

I am fine, of course I am, my sweet sister, if not for my own sake then for yours and our parents'. But truly _I am._ I am now used to all my daily routines and believe it or not I am getting more and more accustomed to the whole idea of war, even though I don't want to be but it is the will of some higher voice, God's most probably.

I've seen many things already, I've done many things already too, all of those about which I won't speak to you. Maybe one day I will in a very far off future but not today, not in this or any other letter I will ever send to you so do stop asking me about all of those things to describe to you. Even though my soul is changed forever now (I can't help it and nobody here can either), I still "have faith" like our good old Uncle Walter told our Mother to have. I will have it because I mean to survive this war, this hell, and come back home to Canada, to you as well my dearest.

You have no idea how thankful I am for Walt and John to be here with me. It is truly such a wonderful thing that we are in these dreaded trenches together and that we can talk almost whenever we want and always take care of one another. That is why I'm telling you for the millionth time, my dear and _only_ sister, do not worry about either one of us, we are all well.

Answering your question, yes I have written a few poems since we've arrived at the front. I tried to make them as happy as I could while being where I am and doing what I do. I will send them along with this letter to you, these are your copies to keep, dear Hester. I hope that they will give you as much hope as they give me.

Also answering your other question, yes, I do write to Vance and I am glad that she's happy about our friendship because I am too. Both of you girls give me the greatest gift a soldier fighting at the front can get, a smile on my face. Whenever I read your or Vance's letters telling me all about the news and happenings in your school-lives, I smile and feel as if I was there, in Glen, with you two and that I am in fact laughing along with you too.

I am glad that you are keeping so strong yourself with two of your brothers facing the war. You truly are one of the strongest and hopeful people I know in this world, Hester. This includes many others but you and I know that you weren't half as strong when we were parting, as you are _now_. I am so very proud of you, Gil and I are, I want you to always remember that.

You say that Aunt Gertrude's oldest son, Jim, enlisted too? It is just like you to also add Jim to this long list of yours filled with people for whom you pray every night. I am glad you do pray for us though, this thought that someone does keeps me sane and more hopeful, you know.

I will try to look out for Jim then. I do know how he looks like, I have this strange yet very wonderful gift of remembering a person's face for eternity with only given an hour or so just talking to them. So I can only hope that I will see him and if I will, I will give him an honest and true hug and we shall talk till dawn, like Walt and John and myself do when we can't sleep.

Yes, Mum wrote to me earlier and told me as well, like you said in your last letter, that our cousin Jims isn't interested in enlisting at all. Good for him, I say! And of course Mum is more than relieved because of that. At least one of her "sons" isn't called by the Piper to fight with him.

I am more than happy to hear about your music and I do hope that I will hear the composition you're working on now one day. The title is so beautiful, "Hope and Our Rainbow Valley" and it says everything and this everything means that I can already hear it, my own vision of it waltzing in front of my eyes, or should I say ears? It _is_ beautiful, I'm positive about it,l and don't you dare doubt it, dearest.

See, I have to go now. We are all about to eat our "dinner" which would never, not in billions of years, be comparable to the dinner Mum makes every single day in our old House of Dreams.

I wish you and our family a beautiful day and once again Hester, do not worry about me or my soul, we're both as fine as we can be, I promise you.

I'll write to you as soon as I'll be able to.

Send all the hugs and kisses to all the people we both love (that includes _you_ ).

Always your own brother,

(Second Lieutenant) Selwyn Ford

* * *

29th April 1941

Dearest sis,

I'll quickly start off by saying that I am fine. Both Marshall and I are, so don't you fret about us one bit, alright there, Hes? You are a true darling to pray for our safety and the thought that you do makes me smile with pride over how strong and wonderful human being my own sister is!

We're flying and flying.. Yesterday I was in a plane for about eight _hours_ in total, and this is quite tiring so to be honest, apart from some bruises I got, I'm simply just tired and hungry all the time ( _d_ _on't_ tell Mother, alright? Or otherwise she'll be sending me all the unnecessary food!). But really, dear sister, I am fine in both spirits and body.

Now, what in the _world_ is going on in Jo's mind? I always knew there was definitely something of a strange and queer personality in her but by God, I think she has lost her mind entirely. You needn't tell me what she has done because she wrote me herself, a telegram by all means. She _married_ Hawk? I still ask myself this question, both me and Marshall to be honest with you. And she didn't tell anybody that she was even thinking about getting married to this man who nobody apparently in our family knows about at all!

Yes, Hes, I am angry at her. Not even because she didn't say anything about her intentions (although showing up for Easter break at Uncle Jerry's and Auntie Nan's with a gold band on her finger is quite a way of telling someone of their latest elopement) to anybody but I'm especially angry at her because of Marshall. She was a sweetheart of his and he was hers for _two years_ before Marshall proposed to her. I still rememebr how excited and scared he was to do that and I also remember how heartbroken he was when she laughed in his face. Jo has known this Hawk-person for I don't know, a few months maybe? That just proves that she's either crazy, unreasonable or insensitive, or the three combined together, that's what.

I was very grateful that she at least apologised to Marshall for her rejection and that she started to write to him again, as a friend she always has been for both him and me. Yes, I do like Jo, she still _is_ my friend, although… I don't know if she is anymore, Hes. If I was to be married, I would definitely write to her to inform her about my engagement, that's for sure.

I do understand that that was not a planned wedding, she did say in her letter that she married Hawk on the day when he was heading off to the front himself but still… Maybe then I shouldn't feel so angry now should I, Hes? You wrote that in a way you saw the reason for her marrying so suddenly and you're probably right, you've got a kind soul and I will always listen to what it tells you, out of all the people I listen to (which is not so many as you know yourself).

Well no, I'm not _that_ angry at her. I'm not angry she married without saying anything because as you said, she had a reason. I'm angry because she refused Marshall who loved her fiercely and I knew she loved him too, and now she married a man whom I don't think she quite _knows_. She said to our family that she does know him and loves him? Well, I know Jo well enough to not be so eager to believe her all at once, or at least to believe her fully on that. So take my advice to not trust everything Josephine Meredith says or should I say, Josephine Reed now?

Well, I shall be waiting for her letter telling me all about her "glorious and so incredibly romantic wedding".

No, Hes, Marshall isn't downhearted by Jo's marriage. He did get over her and the loss of her, it has been almost a year and a half after he proposed to her and she refused him so no, he's quite alright with her decision. I know that you don't _know_ Marshall, but I'm telling you even though you know him only as a really annoying boy (he would hate me if he knew I called him a boy at the age of twenty one!) who teased you all the time, he is actually a very kind man and he is strong, both emotionally and physically. Besides, he has me to talk to and he knows that well. So go ahead and tell Vance and Cornelia that their brother is keeping fine and good and that he is just as surprised as they all are when it comes to Jo's news, but he's not sad or even angry (which did surprise me because he has his temper, the old rascal).

Anyway, I have to go now, and if you can read through all of this terribly messy writing of mine (I am in a hurry like always) then reply to my letter with your own sweet letter, the kind you always write to me.

Send our Mama a big kiss and give Dads a nudge at the side and a huge smile from me alright, Hes?

I love you, my dearest sister. Keep your head up, always be happy and smile for so long that your face will start to hurt!

I will speak to you soon then, alright?

Your brother,

Wing Commander Gilbert Ford


	8. Spring Of Emotions

**_Chapter VIII_**

May came with the chirruping of the birds and a sudden wave of warmth in the air which penetrated Hester's soul just like water can penetrate a tablecloth with simply its soft touch.

It was a day after Hester's last exam, last exam of the first year of High School and now she was sitting underneath the Tree Lovers with her music notes in her lap and a pen accompanied by a rubber in her hands. Her forehead had a little line in between her thick black eyebrows and it meant that Hester was focused and that the world around her was lost in birdsong and the spring's innocent breeze. At the top of the piece of paper which she held in her hand was written: "Hope and Our Rainbow Valley", Violin No. 7" and Hester neither heard nor saw anything but what she needed in order to fill the piece of paper she held in her hands.

Her hair was tied into a braid although lots of its very curly strands were covering her neck and the back of her pretty turquoise dress as well. So it was no surprise for Phillip Jones to stop for a moment before making any further unnecessary movement and he decided on looking at Hester for a few seconds and to smile at her. His cheeks were turning bright red, even though the air wasn't warm enough to do that by itself.

Hester finally heard someone's footsteps approaching her and thinking that it was her grandmother Anne with a plate of cookies, her eyes widened incredibly when she saw a tall young man standing right in front of her instead of her grandma. "Oh, I _can't_ believe it!" she said almost breathlessly as she stood up abruptly and a smile was all that was seen on her face as she wrapped her arms around Phillip's neck.

"A nice surprise, is it not?" Phillip chuckled when he put Hester down on the ground "Although I am late a whole three days for your seventeenth birthday." he blushed and his blush deepened when Hester put her small hands on his cheeks and chuckled in her sweet voice.

"Oh, this is truly the _best_ birthday present you could ever get me!" Hester exclaimed merrily and kissed his cheek softly, making Phillip to look away for a moment, his smile only getting brighter "Phillip, you've changed _so_ much!" she said as she finally let go of him altogether and looked at him in disbelief.

Phillip indeed changed. He was much taller than the last time Hester saw him. He was so tall that Hester's head was reaching only top of his shoulders and even though Hester was quite a short creature by nature, she knew that he was about her father's height, which indeed was quite tall. Phillip's usually blonde curls got straighter and darker and his face was eventually spotless. He actually looked like a twenty year old rather than a seventeen year old.

Phillip blushed a little and then shrugged "Well, you know…" he said bashfully and then looked at Hester from head to toe, taking a deep breath "You have changed a lot too!" he said finally and Hester laughed "The last time I saw you, your hair wasn't half as curly as it is now and your cheeks weren't as rosy as they are right in this moment." he noticed her blushing as well and he grinned softly "But you still dress in the most fashionable way. You look as if you came back straight from New York along with me."

"I can assure you, Phillip, that all the clothes I wear aren't new, rationing wouldn't allow me to buy half as many as I would like to but I do sew them with the help of my mum and auntie Una from all the patterns we can get from the new magazines." she said merrily and suddenly remembering that she had her notes lying all around the blanket in the shadow of the Tree Lovers she invited Phillip to sit next to her and Phillip agreed readily while she was putting all the notes aside.

"When did you come then? And for how long? It's been _two_ years since you've been here last time, Phillip." she said, still smiling and breathing him all in and definitely not believing that her very own best friend was sitting right in front of her again.

Phillip put his hands on his knees and grinned at Hester gently "Well, I came in the morning, two hours ago." he said "And I will be staying at my gran's of course, and the best part is is that I will be here for the whole summer like I told you I would!" he said happily and Hester squeaked in joy.

"Oh, I'm _so_ happy!" she said cheerfully.

"I am too." he said just as cheerfully. Phillip then grinned again at Hester "Oh! I almost forgot!" he jumped up and reached to the back pocket of his trousers, pulling out a small package and putting it into Hester's hands.

"Phillip! You didn't have to!" she said but smiled wonderfully nonetheless, quickly unpacking the gift.

"Of course I did have to." he said while he watched her opening it "Happy birthday, Hester." he said just in time when in Hester's hands appeared a shining silver necklace with a cello-shaped figure being its centre. Hester's mouth opened slightly as she looked at it, not knowing what to say. She turned it to the back and saw words engraved onto it which were: "For Hester, may you be always happy". Suddenly tears sprang into Hester's hazel eyes and she put a hand on her mouth. "No, no, I don't want you to cry, Hester." Phillip looked at her caringly and put her into his arms and kissed her hair lightly.

"But it's just that… You are _too_ good, Phillip!" she said finally and smiled at his face. She then hugged him once again before sitting up again "Will you put it on, please?" she asked him and Phillip readily took the necklace from her hands and put it quickly, like a professional, around her slender, pale neck.

"Looks lovely on you." Phillip said in satisfaction and smiled at the young beauty in front of him.

"Thank you, so much, Phillip." she whispered again and eventually wiped away those few tears which escaped her eyes.

"You don't have to thank me, you know that." he said "And now, tell me Hester, how _are_ you?" he asked her, finally settling down by putting his hands behind his back and looking at Hester, his hands enjoying the sunshine while the rest of his body enjoyed the shadow of the tree.

Hester laid her legs in front of her and put her hands behind her back like Phillip did and she smiled gently at her friend "I'm fine, Phillip, I truly am." she said calmly "I won't say I'm perfectly fine, I won't be until the day the war will be over and my brothers and cousins will come back home but... I _am_ fine." she smiled then, her dimples deepening and adding to the still visible girlish features of her face "Gilly and Selwyn write to us very often, even though some of their letters are short but they know that if they didn't write, mother would 'phone up the whole of the Canadian army asking what has happened to her sons." she grinned slightly at the thought even though a shadow appeared behind her eyes for a moment.

Phillip grinned too "I'm sure she would." he said "And it's good that they write. I'm sure you write to them very, _very_ often." he chuckled when Hester nodded eagerly.

"Everyday if I can." she replied, smiling "Lately I haven't had the time to write every day because of the exams but now I will go back to writing them every single day, now that the exams are over." she nodded as if to reassure herself about that.

"How is that that you have the kindest heart?" he asked a bit absent-mindedly, and when he realised he said that thought outloud and found Hester looking at him with a small frown above her light smile, he blushed again.

"I don't have the kindest heart, Phillip." she said "Everybody has a kind heart, but some people just need to learn how to use it properly." she smiled brightly seeing Phillip smiling back at her.

"It's quite difficult to believe that when there's a war going on." he admitted.

"If a person hopes and has faith, it's actually quite easy." Hester replied and before she knew it or could acknowledge it, Phillip's lips met her own. It was so sudden, so very shocking to her that for the first few seconds she couldn't react in any way, she simply couldn't move especially because it _was_ her very first kiss. No, no, _no_ …! Hester's mind screamed suddenly, it's all _so_ wrong, not right _at all_! Her eyes opened and widened in a matter of half a second and she pulled away violently almost, breathing heavily and her cheeks instead of being flushed with red, were actually as white as the pages of paper filled with her music notes which were lying beside her.

" _What_ … are _you_ doing?" Hester asked breathlessly, her eyes afraid.

Phillip's cheeks were in contrast to Hester's simply because they were pure red, very much like Lily's hair, and he looked at Hester as if stricken by his own action "I…" he started but quickly realised that he didn't know what to say and how to say anything at all and Hester could see it plainly on his face.

"I'm sorry, Phillip." Hester said, her face painted with regret and sympathy "But…" she began but Phillip regaining his ability to speak finished for her.

"It's not me who is the one for you." he said, with a grin stitched to his lips. He grinned only to take off a burden from Hester who was clearly afraid of saying that arrow in his heart herself.

"It's just not right." she said, her eyes filling with tears all of a sudden "Phillip, I wish it was! But… But… It _isn't_." she was almost shocked by that fact herself considering how wonderful of a person Phillip was and what a great friend he was to her. For a few months she was thinking of him as a possibility of a sweetheart for her and even thought that when that moment of their first kiss would come eventually she would know that he truly was someone she loved in- _that_ -way but when that moment became a reality for her, Hester was deeply shocked and felt very guilty indeed over the fact that it all felt entirely wrong and that Phillip, however much she loved him as her friend, could be nothing to her but her friend only, and nothing could ever change that. It was as if her own heart was pierced by that revelation, just as much as Phillip's own heart was.

Phillip nodded slowly, taking it all in. His smile weakened but remained on his face. His cheeks went paler and he looked down as if trying to convince himself that it will never work like he thought it would. He then looked up to see Hester looking at him with tears falling down her rosy cheeks, not making any sound and waiting for his reaction in a complete anxiety. He pulled her into a warm embrace and kissed the top of her head "I'm sorry too." he whispered very quietly.

"I'm so sorry." she whispered again and allowed Phillip to hold her for a few moments longer before pulling away and wiping away her tears "Phillip?" she asked him, her voice getting more steady even though her heart still ached terribly.

"It doesn't change anything." he answered before she asked him. He took her shaking hands in his steady ones and squeezed them tightly, smiling at her in reassurance "It will never change our friendship, Hester. Don't worry about it." he said and she managed to smile back at him weakly.

Phillip then hugged her once more and they were both silent. Both sat in each other's embrace and were focused on the peacefulness around them which was needed in that moment they both shared. Even though Hester knew that nothing could prevent her and Phillip's friendship to keep on growing and getting stronger, she knew that Phillip was wrong about it not being changed. Their friendship was already changed, slightly but nonetheless, and nothing now could change it back to its first shape again.

* * *

30th June 1941

Dear Diary,

It is so strange when the school year ends and summer starts, especially ever since the war has started. I was always so extremely excited for summer and all the free time awaiting me, but now I am actually quite afraid, I'm afraid of what's to come.

I feel so very selfish and guilty too. Recently we heard a small bit of what's happening to all of those poor and innocent Jewish people at the "concentration camps" and I can't, I just _can't_ … I can't imagine _any_ of it and I don't want to. I pray for them so very much, for their souls especially. I asked Grandad (although he's not really my grandad, I know, but I always call him that because in my heart he really _is_ ) John why the Nazis hate Jews so much and whatever for they want them to suffer and Grandad said to me in his calm and kind voice: "I don't know sweetheart. Hatred towards anyone and anything can never be explained entirely and we can only pray and hope that just the minimum amount of it will ever exist." and I will do just that, I will pray and hope that only the minimum amount will ever be felt in the world.

Because I still don't feel supportive enough I joined the Junior Red Cross and now I spend my evenings with Lily, Marion, Vance and our mothers along with Auntie Una and Grandma Anne at the House of Dreams' garden knitting socks, blankets and such. Dad says that he loves watching us because we seem like a "perfect club" and I suppose we do seem like just that. We talk all the time and laugh too. But we do it all to help. To help those who need our help. Like our own boys out there at the front. Gilly, Selwyn, John, Walt, Marshall…

Gilly and Marshall are now over in Malta and thereabouts. Gil wrote about all the beautiful landscapes he sees over there and I still get the feeling, this wonderful feeling that he still hasn't changed and that the war hasn't touched his soul yet, and I hope it never will.

Selwyn, John and Walt are all still in France. Selwyn says that they're all safe for now, although that his word cannot be trusted entirely in times like these and I think that he's right unfortuntately. Selwyn told me that recently he stopped writing but only because he doesn't have that much time to do it and I don't know whether it is the only reason for him not writing but he wrote to me that it is, but still, I _know_ Selwyn and I know that he could be just saying that to not worry me. Like Dad said, "we will all see if that's true in time".

Phillip is still here in Glen and I find a great support in him, I always did but especially now that he is _really_ here, and we can both sit next to each other under the White Lady and talk all afternoon.

It's been over a month since Phillip kissed me and so we forgot about this incident, _I_ did at least but I think that he did too. Of course I still feel that Phillip's gazes aren't just friendly ones but as soon as he himself realises that, he looks away and then looks back at me with different, more relaxed eyes of his. I feel really downhearted still, when I think about it (although Phillip told me not to) that I can't love him in-that-way because goodness how much I _wish_ I could! I really do! I still think that maybe I will be able to one day? But then the very thought makes me feel a bit ill. And also…

There's Seb.

We don't spend as much time together as I'd like to and that's because now Seb went away with his parents and siblings to Quebec to his mother's sister who lives there, and he went there for the whole summer too. Of course we send each other letters, which are quite long I must say, and he does write such... _romantic_ things that my cheeks burn whenever I read them! He recently wrote me this me this: "I miss you so, Hester. You know, mother brought a new bouquet of roses into the house and put it into the white vase. As I looked at those flowers all I could think of is the colour of your cheeks whenever you play your cello. They're pure red, and they give your face a perfect glow of concentration and beauty.". Now how can one _not_ blush after reading something like _this_? Well, I shall stop now, I'm forbidding myself to think about Seb for too long, I have many things to do anyway and I am too young for love, I know that too. But then… am I? Yes, Hester, you _are_ , you silly girl of seventeen!

I am so happy to see Lily in our lovely Glen and Four Winds again. She finished Queen's a week ago and now she is getting excited for going off to Redmond in September to study nothing else but _Law_! We are all extremely proud of her, she is going to be the _first_ lawyer in our family after all. Uncle Jem is quite literally bursting with pride over his oldest daughter, so is Auntie Faith of course.

But a shadow comes across Lily's face whenever she thinks about John, we all know it, there's no way she can hide it now and she told me recently that she doesn't want to hide it anymore, she's too tired of hiding this feeling she has for the handsome Lieutenant Meredith. Her feelings definitely got stronger after she kissed John (on the lips) right before he jumped on the train to carry him to the training camp all of those months ago, a year ago almost! Lily told me that it was just an impulse and that when she thought she could never see him again she just "went for it". It was very quick and so sudden that she's sure that John doesn't even remember it. Lily said that he just smiled at her when she kissed him and he wished her well. And that is why she said she would never regret kissing him, it gave her even more hope than she already had.

Lily claims that she thinks that John's feelings for Cornelia died eventually because he never mentions her in the letters to her and he used to just a few months before. This is why she is more cheerful whenever she thinks of him because even though she is the most hopeful person I know, she has even more hope now in the possibility that John will return her strong feelings for him one day. I myself feel like he will. Lily told me that Uncle Jem said that if he could and if John wasn't the son of his sister and his best friend, he would _spank_ him until John would realise that Lily is the only girl for him. We all laughed when she told us about her dad's little speech.

It would be marvellous if Ada was here too but she's not and she won't be this time because she is preparing for her second year at Queen's, studying more and more Mathematics as that is her main interest. At least I know that we will see each other at Christmas, _that_ is certain.

I have to go now! And I really wanted to write more! But I can see Marion, Lily and Aunties Faith and Una coming down the lane for our "club's meeting" and our plan is to knit as many socks as we can today. A very stressful task indeed, for me at least.

Have to fly now!

Yours,

Hester


	9. It's Always Good To Have A Friend

**_Chapter IX_**

24th July 1941

Dearest Sis,

Yes, I did get the telegram about Jo's husband, Hawk, who was killed in action, somewhere at the sea last Thursday. This is, as you said in your own letter, very unexpected and downhearting but please Hes let it not upset you or make you to think about the possibility that something like this might happen to either of us, be it me, Wyn or anyone else from our family and friends. Don't worry, dear angel of a sister, and put your chin up! I know you can do it because you're doing it right now, I know you are.

Both Marshall and I wrote to Jo of our condolensces but like you said in your latest letter, she doesn't seem too saddened by the death of Hawk. I must say, although it's hard to say something like this but it's true, and that is that I'm not surprised. From the start I knew that she didn't love him, or at least not enough to marry him. It was just an impulse of the war and Hawk's going to the front so soon. But I won't be this cruel about Jo who still is a friend of mine, and I will say that she is sad about the whole thing, not as much as she actually _should_ be being his wife, but she did write to me that she feels sorry for his loss and that if he would have lived, she might have been happy with him. But at the same time she wrote "this only proves we weren't meant to be", and she goes on on how she learnt how to bake a lemon cake. Typical Jo, although possibly it is good that she's not mourning so much after him and she stays happy nonetheless.

But like I said before in this letter of mine, Hes, don't worry about any kinds of things that might (but _don't_ have to) happen to us. I have this feeling that after all, things will work out in the end for all of us and I do trust in God and his plans for all of us. Marshall and I are still stationed in Malta and we fly all over Italy each day. Days go by very quickly and what I mostly enjoy about each day are the afternoons as that's when Marshall and I and some other fellows play cards and sing, as well as write letters to our families just like I'm doing right now.

So sis, keep a stiff upper lip and smile, that is the best medicine for it all. I take it myself everyday, even at the front. So does Marshall and so should _you_.

You know, I do still feel like quite the same man, in personality I mean. It's like what you said, I didn't change... Yet, but I do hope that I won't and even if I will then only for the better because yes, I do have my flaws (no matter what you say, dear sister) and don't tell me otherwise Hes. I am annoying most of the times, I know that myself.

I know, I know, Hes. I can read through Selwyn's letters just like you can and yes, I do agree with you that something about him has changed and I feel very sorry about that. But his soul isn't gone, and that's something, isn't it? I can see that he is fighting on the inside with himself and I only hope that he will win this fight. I think he will. Wyn is a strong man, he's _our_ brother after all, and I know that whatever happens, his soul can never be truly damaged.

Sometimes, (don't tell anyone!) I think about what kinds of things I might still experience. Some of them frighten me a bit as they should, but you know, lately I had this sudden realisation that maybe, maybe… _Maybe_ I will find this one girl, somehow. I don't know how, but I have this feeling, you know? I have this feeling that she's waiting for me somewhere. And I am waiting for her too. Everyone, even Marshall (my very own best friend!), was asking me several times before: "How come you _never_ had a sweetheart? You've never _kissed_ a girl before?! Come _on_ Gil!" and I won't say that I never _wanted_ to kiss Jean or Lou but I was always forbidding myself because I want to fall in love with the girl first and so before I am to kiss her.

I've said this to Marshall and he answered: "That was my first plan too. But then when I saw how pretty Cam was, I couldn't help _but_ to kiss her lips _at once_!", he and I laughed of course remembering his firts kiss when he was just twelve years old. And then it was Jo of course and Marshall told me that he really was in love with her, and he still sometimes think of the "what might have been if...?" but I always stop him from thinking about that. He told me, when we talked about all of this, that what he had with Jo (or at least what he thought he had) was really "it" and that right now, he thinks and plans like me. He wanted to kiss this one Italian girl who waved at us one morning and who was stretching her arms before him but Marshall, who normally would go up to her and kiss her straight on the lips, only smiled at her and then said to me: "Don't even know her name! Nah, those days are over for me, Gil.". So now Marshall and I really mean to fall in love. One way or another. What a romantic I am, eh? If you'd tell my ten year old self that I was to think of something like this I would cry with laughter and call you a ninny.

But I just had to write all of this to you because you are caught up in the middle of something romantic too are you not, Hes? You're writing to me about this Seb of yours… Hmm… I don't know what to think about any man who would be willing to be a sweetheart of my little sister (you'll always be my _little_ sister, Hes, even when you're fifty years old so don't huff at me for calling you so!). And Hes, dear, you really don't have to tell me directly for me to know that this is exactly the case with this Seb-boy.

From what I gather, he's handsome, he's a gentleman, an incredible singer, and very interesting too. Quite a man you found yourself, hm? But Hester, if you just feel like only one day you would want him to be your sweetheart but not now then don't think about it for now. It will all come to you. I know that this is exactly what our parents probably told you and they're right, like always to our disadvantage.

How wonderful that you started helping out in Auntie Una's orphanage! I am even prouder of you than I was before, which means I might explode with pride in a second. You have such a kind heart Hes, I think that I can hardly believe that I have a sister like you. But it really is great that you play with all of those poor kids and make their day happier. And of course do tell me about each of the funny things they do, I know that laughter will make me good one of these days. And Marshall too! I will read those stories of yours to him as well.

I have to finish in a moment because the lights will be turned off in about fifteen minutes but I will finish this letter to you like I should, and so I will talk about this Phillip of yours too. I'm sure you worry that he will enlist one day even though he now claims he won't. You're right, Wyn said exactly the same thing and now he's in the trenches in France. But good for him that America hasn't joined in the war just yet although from what we hear on the radio it is really possible that they will this year or in the next one. For now, don't worry about this friend of yours. He'll be fine, I'm sure. For what I've known and seen him he seems sensible and he'll do what is best for him. And if I can see that although I only spoke maybe ten sentences with him in my life, then you as his close friend will know that too.

Goodness gracious, I only hope that the grand America will join this chaos and the yankees will come and help us out because truth be told I don't want to be doing what I do everyday for the next five years of my life. But then Mother (and Marshall's mother too!) sends us so many small packs with different sweets of hers that I sometimes wonder whether I was getting as much when I was ten years old? I don't even know how she finds all of these with all the rationing going on and it really does show how determined and caring our Mum is (and Marshall's, while we're at it).

Anyways, dearest sister, don't worry about me or Wyn or anyone of us boys out here in the war. You know, war _is_ difficult and it's hard to understand and hard to live through but it is just a period of time after all, "it too shall pass". That's something Wyn would say, am I not right?

I wish you all the happiness in each passing day and night, and also well done on deciding to help Auntie Una out in the orphanage. You're so strong through all of this, you are a soldier yourself, dear Hes.

I'm sending you my love,

Your romantic silly brother,

Wing Commander Gilbert Ford

* * *

"I can't believe that I've been here for the whole summer already and that I have to go back to this crowded New York of mine _tomorrow_ …" Phillip sighed heavily and put a hand on his knee while leaning back on the White Lady, clearly enjoying the shadow underneath it. Phillip was right, the summer was almost over and it was time for each of Hester's cousins and friends to go back to their scholarly duties, it was her own fate as well. Hester's Group and Phillip, who actually was its member himself, prepared a picnic in Rainbow Valley and all of them sat together on the old purple blanket underneath the shadow of the previously mentioned White Lady.

"I can't believe it either." Hester said and squeezed Phillip's hand gently, a light grin spreading on her thin lips "It will be really lonely without you or Lily here." she looked over at the red-headed beauty lying on her stomach right next to her and Phillip, smiling radiantly at them both.

"Oh, come _on_ , Hes." she said in her usual jolly and bright voice "Everyone around you know that you love school and I'm sure it will keep your mind so occupied that you won't even notice we're gone!" and then she raised her eyebrows in a playful manner and lowered her voice "Besides, I'm sure that Seb will keep your mind occupied as well." she chuckled softly.

Hester smiled kindly at her but remained rather motionless and when her eyes met Phillip's both of their cheeks flushed with fire of embarrassment. Hester obviously mentioned Seb to Phillip and he himself worked out that she might have the same feelings for Seb as he, Phillip, had for Hester and both he and Hester knew that he knew about it but never talked about the subject outloud.

Lily quickly realised that she shouldn't have said that and so she only laughed once more to relax the atmosphere slightly and clasped her hands together "I _cannot_ believe that I'm going to start Redmond College and learn about Law in just a week's time!" she said excitedly, her own cheeks still a bit pink from noticing the glance Hester and Phillip shared after her earlier remark.

"Aren't you a bit scared though?" Vance asked sheepishly, her blonde locks shining in the summer's sun.

Lily smiled at her timid friend "No, I'm excited." she said joyfully and jumped up as if to show the amount of excitement that was inside of her. Everyone around her started to chuckle and the atmosphere relaxed at once.

"Well, this time next year, you and I will be able to talk about studying Law then." Phillip smiled at Lily.

"I _know_!" Lily patted his hand lively "And I can't wait for that as well!"

Hester smiled at Lily and immediately envied her ability to be so excited for almost eveyrthing and also being so optimistic all the time. Hester knew that Lily had her dark days and hidden thoughts of a view very different than brightness of which she knew as well as Lily but nonetheless Hester always envied Lily of how she looked on life and how easily she could brighten up her own day, the ability which was worth more than any money on the world combined together could buy.

"I think you'll be a wonderful lawyer." Marion said to her older sister with pride in her soft eyes.

"Thank you, dear." Lily replied and smiled at her younger sister gently "And I'm sure that _you_ 'll be a wonderful teacher."

Marion's cheeks became a shade redder than normally and she grinned at her sweetly "I'm not too sure about being a teacher anymore." she said.

Everyone looked at her with worry "Why not, Marion?" Hester asked her friend gently.

"I don't know, Hester." Marion replied a bit helplessly "When I think of my future I don't see any of the things all of you see."

"What do you mean?" Vance encouraged her and smiled at her friend tenderly.

Marion smiled back although weakly and then shrugged "It's just that I don't want to go univeristy or get any degree and I just want to start working as soon as I can. I don't know whether I should be a teacher, or a missionary or…" she started.

"A missionary?" Phillip was surprised but intrigued "You really think about becoming a missionary, Marion?" he asked her.

"Well," she started bashfully "I've heard many stories of auntie Una's when she was a missionary in India and I think that it would be fascinating and wonderful to help other people in their misery." she smiled at the thought and her hazel eyes started to twinkle a little.

Everyone surrounding her smiled just as she did only by looking at her "That's so gallant of you." Hester squeezed Marion's arm lightly.

"Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you, Marion." Vance squeezed Marion's other hand and the two kindred spirits of the same shy nature smiled at each other.

It was a beautiful day, the wind blew straight at the Group but it was a very nice and soft breeze and all of them felt nothing but lightness surrounding them. They all talked and talked and simply couldn't get enough of each other, especially because they all knew that with all the things happening in the world, the uncertainty of the day upcoming, cousins, brothers and friends risking their lives at the front, they _had_ to find small joys and happiness in al of those small and innocent moments, and that day, a day before Phillip Jones would be going back to New York marking the end of that summer, was cerainly that moment.

It was almost past sunset when Hester and her friends packed up the blanket and all the baskets and took it all back to Ingleside. She thought, while they all walked down the Rainbow Valley to the old house of her grandparents and also while all of them talked and laughed merrily, that the ghosts of the past were laughing with them too, observing them from above.

Hester smiled at the thought and once more was brought into the peaceful state of dreaminess and her own melancholy her soul always possessed. She thought of her uncle Walter, whom she only knew from stories, photographs and the small letter he wrote once upon a time which she could feel at the bottom of the pocket of her dress she wore, and about how much she loved him, even though she never met him but somehow always _knew_ him nonetheless. She thought about her auntie Joyce, whom nobody apart from her grandparents Blythe had ever met but whom she always imagined as the exact copy of her dear friend Lily, with her red hair, freckled complexion and positivity all around her, only with grey eyes instead of the hazel ones which Lily owned.

Phillip brought her down to the earth from the clouds above as he put his arm around her shoulders and smiled down at her amicably "What are you thinking of?" he whispered, although he knew that nobody would have heard him anyway, Lily was telling a story to Vance and Marion and all three of them giggled together too loudly to disturb Phillip's conversation with Hester.

Hester smiled back at him and put a disobedient strand of her black hair behind her ear "About ghosts of the past." she whispered back and sighed deeply, as if trying to feel their presence.

Phillip grinned and sighed too "You know what?" he said and Hester looked up at him again "I've always known it but only now I've realised it: you are too mature for your age, Hester Ford."

Hester chuckled at that softly "How so, Phillip Jones?" she asked him.

"Well, it is hard to explain to a person who is too mature for their age but…" he said and Hester laughed again "It's like you are the person everyone else would like to be." he smiled kindly at her and she smiled back.

"Sometimes it's not so wonderful, you know. Being too mature for their age, I mean." she replied, her voice sounding a bit gloomily, thinking of the war and her brothers and cousins being at the front right in that moment of their conversation.

Phillip pulled her closer to him, knowing what she was thinking about as he was thinking about the same thing too "It can never be wonderful." he whispered into her ear, answering her thoughts rather than the actual statement she said aloud "But we can always remember that bad things end too, don't they?" he smiled at her once more and Hester grinend back, her hazel eyes smiling themselves.

"Yes, they do." she replied softly and put her head on his shoulder, rejoicing in the fact that firstly Phillip was right and secondly that she was reassured, in that moment, that he would always be her friend, no matter what bad things would come into her or his life.


	10. Touch Of Romance

**_Chapter X_**

10th September 1941,

Dearest Selwyn,

I am so grateful that you have enough time to write to us every three days at least. Please don't worry that your letters are short, they can't be longer and we know it, Dad always reminds us that that's how it is when you're in the trenches and you know that a lot better than any of us except for Daddy of course. The letters, however short they are, you send to us are _so_ precious because we know that you're well, or at least as well as you can be while in the trenches in France.

Selwyn, I know I say it in my every letter I send to you, so you're probably bored with it already and you don't believe me either but: I am _extremely_ proud of you, my darling brother. You and Gil are my lifetime heroes and there will never come a time in my life, not even when my hair is entirely white, when I'll say that I'm not proud of you, not just for going to war but for being _you_ , my dear Selwyn. I hope you know that. Especially because I know how many people write this to you in each of their letters too, Mother is more than a perfect example of that.

Gil does write to us and from time to time he has time to write longer letters but this time of getting longer letters from Gilly disappeared for some time now. I imagine you've heard of the Berlin bombings? Well, I'm sure Gilly wrote himself to tell you this himself but he's bombing, alongside Marshall, poor Berlin. Is it wrong of me to say "poor Berlin", Selwyn? Is it wrong of me to be praying not only for our boys but for the Germans and Italians and Japanese people as well? I know that you've already told me that that is a very "right and good" thing to do but still... But this is what I do, I pray for _all_ the people engaged in this horrid war, all the innocent people who experience so much hatred like all the poor and innocent Jews! I'm not going to write you anything about what I've heard about them, you know it yourself most probably and I know of your sensitive soul, like mine although stronger, so I won't turture it by repeating the war news in any way.

I really hope that you don't think me foolish for praying for all of your "enemies" you have to fight with everyday in France. I do pray mostly for my own relatives of course, for your safety because that's most important. I pray for all the "enemies" of ours just because my heart thinks it right and whether it's right or wrong I will never be entirely sure. I know one thing though, _you_ will understand me and that is why I am telling you this, my dear Selwyn.

Yes, we're back at school and as I promised I'll tell you all about it in this letter because it is a free afternoon for me (all homework done finally!). However before I start I will tell you something extraordinary. Uncle Shirley's Susan is amazingly intelligent, I mean she's _so_ clever while being only twelve years old. She's already better in Maths and Science than _I_ am, me turning eighteen next May! She's also so different from her siblings, you know. Will (who grew so much taller during only _this_ summer!) is just such a funny boy and so brave as well, but Uncle Shirley recently laughed saying Will's as clumsy as his wife is! And we all laughed because you and I know how many cups Auntie Emma can crash on the floor in a period of one month.

Then it's sweet Delia (who turned seven years old last weekend, can you _believe_ it?) who is quite like her brother although she's a charmer. She flutters her long eyelashes and gets anything she wants to from Grandpa Gilbert or Grandma Anne! And Susan is so quiet and poised… I sometimes wish she was closer to my age so that we could spend time together at school.

But now going back to school-going-ons. Lily is at Redmond and I've already received three full and long letters from her, a real _Law_ student! She sent you a letter too, she said, maybe you got it already, but I'll tell you anyway. She's very ecstatic about Redmond and her letter to you will certainly make you smile and laugh out loud. I am so proud of her and happy for her but yet I feel so very sorry in my heart. It only proves that we're all almost grown-up! This thought makes me feel so downhearted, I can almost understand why parents always get so nostalgic about their children growing up. I feel their pain and I understand it because I don't feel ready to be a real grown-up yet.

I love going to school and learning and if I could I would do it all my life. Everyone, even you my dear brother, tell me that I'm very mature for my age and that I've always have been and I know that's true but it doesn't mean that I _want_ to be a grown-up yet. Being mature and being a grown-up are two different things, aren't they, Selwyn? You can talk about certain things, and think of them in a mature way but it is only when you are a part of different, meaningful things or happenings in your life it is when you're a grown-up. Do you know where I'm going with it, Selwyn? I'm sure you do, you of all people know me too well.

Ada went to Queen's of course for her second year now and she keeps her mind and time occupied with Maths. She already said that she's sending letters to Susan and tells her all about differnet theories and equations she's learning, how nice of her to do so for sweet little Susan! David though has just started High School in White Sands, Ada wrote to me. But then… _You_ know that yourself! You and David were and are always such good friends! You will know more about his life than myself but I'm sure he's doing spendidly, he always does.

Before we will get to my school-going-ons, I still have to tell you about Jo. Gilly told me (wrote me rather) that Jo studies English Language and Literature at Redmond, and as it's her last year now, she doesn't know what to do with her degree afterwards and I can only wonder myself what she'll do with it because I can't exactly see our Jo being a patient teacher. But I'm being quite judgemental, am I not? I don't want to speak harshly of her even though she still gives me those terrible cold looks from time to time as if _she_ was judging _me_ instead. Uncle Jerry and Auntie Nan were also wondering about the same thing with their daughter at the family dinner last Sunday. There were many suggestions made but each was confronted by Jo shaking her head. Well, whatever Jo will do with her degree I am sure it will be quite unpredictable as she herself is.

And now I'll tell you about the old me and what's going on for me at my school. Selwyn, it was _so_ wonderful to come back. Flora and I again had so much to talk about, as she was in Mexico (can you imagine?) with her parents for the whole summer. See was also back from his holidays. We all talked and talked and lessons were really interesting as well, even Maths _and_ Science! Seb still walks me home everyday and it is such a sweet habit of ours, it seems to me that the wind talks with us too on each of our journey home (that's what Seb said and it is _so_ right, and I know you will like this comment of his too!).

So yes, it is all good for me and the school for now. It is my last year of High School though and believe it or not, my dear brother, I don't know what to do afterwards (whether to go to a university or stay at home and be a music teacher, I mean), but I do still have some more months left to decide, right?

Well, I will go downstairs now, our Mum and Auntie Una are serving dinner today and I am really interested to hear what's new at the orphanage (as I don't work there during school simply because I don't have enough time).

I'm sending you all my love and hugs and kisses and _all the best_ my darling brother of a name Selwyn. I'm _so_ proud of you! And I miss you! But I'm _so_ proud you can't imagine the feeling I feel right now!

Be safe always.

Your sister,

Hester

* * *

It was October and there was no denying it. The world of Hester was covered in the perfect definition of autumn, the colours were so vibrant and warm that Hester was in an even deeper sweet melancholy of hers that month, wishing with all strength she had inside of her for her poetic brother Selwyn to see it all with his bright grey eyes and to write another poem about it all. She wished for Gilly, John and Walt to see it too but she knew deep down in her heart that Selwyn needed this sight most of them all. However her life continued on and so it did for her brothers and cousins at the front as well, two drastically different realities yet still true and real nonetheless. So Hester simply stopped wishing for things she knew could not happen in any near future.

Hester was walking down the lane between the trees of colours of oranges, reds and yellows with a tall and handsome young man of a name Seb right next to her. Seb was of course walking Hester back home after school and they were walking their usual way, between the trees and peacefulness which was surrounding them. "But what will become of your cousin Bruce's family when he goes to war?" Seb asked Hester curiously, his deep blue eyes locked on her sweet flushed face.

Hester sighed softly, her own hazel eyes growing gloomy but she looked back into Seb's with a softer look in them "Well, Bruce thought about that of course and he already telephoned grandpa John and grandma Rosemary to ask them whether they'd be alright with Louisa and the girls to come and live with them for the time when he'll be training and then fighting at the front. They agreed of course." Hester smiled lightly "So at least we'll be seeing more of Louisa and the twins…" she sighed again and allowed Seb to squeeze her shoulder gingerly which caused her cheeks to turn a shade redder "He'll be going for his training next week." she said.

"I know you worry about him, Hester." Seb said gently "But don't worry about him, all you can do is to hope." he smiled at her softly and she smiled back.

"This and to pray." she added her voice slowly going back to its liveness.

Seb chuckled lightly and put his arm around her shoulders "See? You can replace worrying with something more useful." he said.

"Yes, that's true." she replied quietly. As she looked up to see Seb's face, her mind was beginning to work like a wrist watch and it was as if she heard a loud and clear "click!" in her mind when she saw that special and terrifying twinkle in Seb's eyes as he looked down at her. "You're going to enlist too, aren't you, Seb?" she asked him almost breathlessly, a realisation dawning on her like a wave of coldness.

Seb's expression changed and it grew worried as he watched how Hester's face was slowly turning pale, even though she wore her fluffy beret on her head and a thick scarf around her neck. He touched her hand reassuringly "Yes, Hester, I must." he said simply, even though Seb wasn't a person who was accustomed to talk with the use of simple statements and words.

Hester gazed at him for a few moments, watching his face and memorizing each of its feautures as if that afternoon was the last one before they would part their ways into the unknown. "You'll enlist when you'll turn eighteen in December?" she breathed out finally.

"Yes." he replied silently, his eyes locked and almost lost in Hester's own. They walked like this for what seemed like eternity until Seb stopped eventually and put his hands on Hester's arms so that she could face him. One brown curl of his hair rolled onto his broad forehead and Seb started to look decidedly at Hester, with his own cheeks turning slightly pink. Hester was enchanted by him in that moment and she thought that he _already_ was a dashing young soldier who was about to… About _to_ … Hester's own cheeks flushed with a fiery colour and her heart started to beat furiously as if it had wings of its own. "Hester, I have a question to ask you." he said finally, his voice steady and firm, making her to look at him with wide and almost frightened eyes, oblivious of what he's about to say or not to say next.

"Yes?" she whispered.

"When I'll enlist," he started "-and then go to the training camp and eventually to the battlefield, will you... will you wait for me to come back to you?" he asked her and his expression was still serious yet so breathtaking to Hester that she could swear in that moment that she couldn't feel her body at all.

"I will wait for you to come back to me." she answered more him softly, yet still without drawing in any air into her lungs. Her eyelashes fluttered nervously, and her cheeks turned into a perfect rosy red colour which made her look like the most perfect young beauty in the whole world, with her black curly hair coming our of her beret.

Seb smiled at her radiantly, his own cheeks truning quite red and he allowed himself to put his warm hands on Hester's cheeks "It's very good to know, my beautiful cellist." he whispered tenderly and then he lowered down his head enough to kiss her lips.

Hester always imagined that her first kiss would make her so nervous she wouldn't be able to breathe and that she wouldn't even think of closing her eyes, she'd be shaking so much. However the reality proved both of her imaginings wrong. As soon as Seb's lips met her own, she stopped shaking, all the fear went away, her breathing was regular and most importantly her eyes were closed and she was lost in the moment of perfect happiness found in the secret of her first kiss.

It didn't last long but to Hester it felt like hours when Seb pulled away and looked deeply into her eyes, still smiling at her "You are the only person I know who can make me smile like this, do you know that?" he asked her delicately.

"Now I do." she replied, her own lips smiling and her eyes shining in a way they never did before that day.

Seb winked at her and put his hand in her own, resuming their walk together "I'll walk you home then, my dear." he said to her as he put his arm around her shoulders again and Hester leaned against his right side, her entire mind dreaming softly between the clouds of romance.

"Walk me home and never stop." she whispered and closed her eyes, enjoying the smell of books on his coat and her lips forming into a delightful smile.

She didn't see it but she felt how Seb turned his head and looked down at her and she knew that he smiled. "I'll try." he replied softly.

Seb walked Hester home but on that particular day it took them a bit longer to walk the same distance they always follow. They talked about everything with suddenly a much wider openness, their hands interlocked together as well as their eyes. Hester suddenly forgot about all her worries, doubts, torubles or the war itself, even of the fact that Seb himself was to go and join its horrors soon. He gave her the ability of living her life with "Carpe Diem" speaking through it.

When they finally reached the old House of Dreams, Seb once again put his hands on Hester's cheeks and lifted her head just to look into her eyes. It was quite a sweet picture they both produced standing like that near the house of Hester's with the red road springing up in front of them and behind them too. Hester was always quite short, shorter than all of the girls from her Group apart from Marion who was exactly Hester's height. Seb on the other hand was very tall, one of the tallest boys in their school, and so if the music was playing and Seb was to dance with Hester, she would be a perfect size to cradle her head right in the centre of Seb's chest.

And so Hester had to lift her head quite high to look into Seb's crystal blue eyes and to match his smile with her own "Would you like to come in?" Hester asked him with her sweet voice.

Seb smiled at her kindly "I would love to, dear, but you know that today my father wants me to help him fix the oven." he sighed with regret but then grinned at his sweetehart once more "But I don't know how much of a help I will be to him because I won't be able to stop thinking about _you_."

Hester blushed under his gaze but smiled even wider at him "Well, I think that this will be the same case for me and doing homework tonight." she whispered.

Seb chuckled lightly "Well then we will both be very occupied indeed." he said and Hester laughed as well "I will see you first thing in the morning though."

"Yes, you will." she replied gently.

"Goodnight then, my sweetheart." he whispered as he lowered his head and kissed her once more, softly.

"Goodnight, Sebastian." she said to him as she pulled away after some time and she stepped on the second step leading to the House of Dreams' verandah, her hand still in Seb's own. He smiled at her tenderly and then let go of her hand and turned around, going back on the lane. Hester leaned against the wall next to her and watched him go with those dreamy hazel eyes of hers and a darling little smile on her face. Seb was turning around a few times just to wave at her and she would wave back at him of course. When he was out of sight, Hester sat down on the stairs almost collapsing, her eyes were closed and this strange and new kind of smile was still on her lips caused by the burning touch of romance left on them by a handsome boy of blue eyes and light brown hair.

Yes, romance entered her life and she felt in her heart that it was only the beginning of it and that it won't ever leave her life, ever again. She did not mind that at all.


	11. Simple Means Happy

**_Chapter XI_**

28th November 1941,

Dearest sister o'mine,

I am very, _very_ glad that you're all well at home and I want to let you know that I feel incredibly grateful for all of your letters, they _do_ make me smile, even on the hardest of days out here.

So many things are happening in this dreaded war this month that just like you, I can't get my head around it all especially because it is really hard to imagine all of this to be happening in our seemingly beautiful world. Sometimes I envy Gil and Marshall that they don't necessarily do the kind of "job" Walt, John and I do every single day out here in the trenches and that instead they can at least see the world from a different perspective, from the _above_. But then, as you know my dear sister, I have a large fear of heights unlike the two of them.

It is really getting nearer to the point where all of us here think America will be joining us soon in this pile of mud and blood. But don't worry, dearest, I know that now you're thinking about your friend Phillip but truly this is actually quite a positive news in a way (I do, like all of us here really, try to be as positive as we can because well, otherwise I'm pretty sure I, if not everyone, would go mad) and what I mean by this is that, if America enters the war, the sooner the war will end.

I won't be telling you more about the war in this letter, I can't quite stand it myself anymore I must say. Especially because it blocks my mind to write anything at all. But don't worry, Hester, I truly _am_ alright, in body most definitely, and in spirit I am not that bad either. The most terrible thing for me would be for you or our parents to worry over me and how "my soul is doing" (as that's how our Mum phrased it in her last letter to me). So please, both you and our parents, just keep on smiling for me because I _am_ fine.

There, I am going to actually reply to your letter correctly now, shall I?

Cousin Bruce is enlisting soon, yes, I know as everyone wrote to me about it, and even Bruce himself did. He asked me so many questions I actually smiled when I saw how many question marks I could see on the page he sent me. The whole letter of his looked more like a drawing rather than a letter, at first glance at least.

Both Bruce and I hope to meet each other here in the trenches but God only knows where he will be sent over. But it still will be a long while when he will even get to Europe, as he told me that he will go for a training after New Year's. I feel grateful that he'll spend this Christmas with our family though, and especially with his wife and children. I do admire his bravery that he actually has made a conscious decision of going to the unknown place filled with a certain horror and leaving his young wife and two small babies. I don't think that I would be bold enough to make the same decision, I must say.

And now Hester let me congratulate you, you amazingly wonderful creature of a talent only one in a million people possesses out there in the entire world. Dear Miss Posy has officially stated that she has taught you _everything_ she knows! I can't stress this enough, I just can't even tell you how _proud_ I am! I am so terribly proud to have such a gifted beautiful sister! Really Hester, do _not_ be modest about it because not every other musician hears, at the age of _seventeen_ , that their teacher has taught them everything they could about both a violin and a cello. I'm sure that our parents are ecstatic (our _entire_ family sure is! - there John and Walt send their pride over your achievements as well!) and that you are pretty pleased yourself, at least you should be!

This only makes me feel so very downhearted that I can't hear you play right in this moment. It's been so long, over a year now, when I've last heard you play and I miss it very much. But I do remember how you play your cello (yours and mine favourite instrument of all three that you can play), I do remember its sound and how perfectly beautiful you look while playing it. Like a perfect definition of peacefulness and music itself. See, the memory of you playing a cello on its own brings a grin to my face.

I am very pleased that this Seb of yours takes good care of you. You know, Hester, that even _I_ , Selwyn Ford, would be willing to "give him a deserved walloping" like Gil would say (as politely as he'd be able to of course), if Seb would harm you in _any_ way a person can harm another human being.

But it does make me happy to read everything you write about him. He does seem like a nice fellow, and a passionate one too. You know, Hester, that I do like people who are passionate about something, even if it means being passionate about being kind to others. The two of you (yes, I received the photograph) look very nice together as well. But goodness gracious, dear sister, I will never be able to truly realise that you, my dearest _baby_ sister, has a sweetheart of her own! And that your red thin lips were kissed and that your eyes now shine in the way they never did before… It does make one wonder, you know.

But I do wish the two of you all the best. And especially I wish the best of luck to Seb as he'll be off for training after New Year's too, you said? Maybe I'll meet him here too, I'm sure we'll get on, because even if we won't have mutual interests we will have one and the same passion: _you_ , dear Hester.

Now, I have to finish off this letter because the torch we're using here for writing our letters will surely switch off in a moment, it flickers and it makes our eyes hurt already.

So I just want to say: don't worry about us, dear Hester, and thank you ever so much for all your prayers ( _all of them_! For everyone you pray for, keep on doing it for we all need it! The Germans and our "enemies" in general as well…) and thank you for all your letters. Both them and your prayers keep us all going, I want you to know that.

Have a beautiful day my dear,

I will forever remain you loyal brother,

Second Lieutenant Selwyn Ford

* * *

30th December 1941,

Dear Diary,

We only have one more day of the year 1941 and then the brand new year of 1942 will arrive, but what will it bring us? I sometimes fear God's plans, I must say, and I fear them now as well.

I was so extremely busy this past week that I didn't have time to write in here _at all_! But I'm glad of it in a way, it only means that Christmas _was_ Christmas in all its fullness. This year Christmas was at Ingleside of course and all of the girls in our Group along with our mothers (my mum, Auntie Faith and Mary Douglas) along with Aunties Nan and Una, all did our best in preparing this year's family dinner and we had so much fun I was almost ashamed of it considering the terrible things happening around the world.

America has joined this dreaded war now and I am so relieved that Phillip still doesn't show any interest in it at all! This whole month has been so overcrowded with war news (we declared war on Japan, there was Pearl Harbor, the murders of Jewish people, sinking of ships and goodness more, more _and_ more!) that I decided I won't be listening to any war news until we'll all going to come back to school, and after my dearest Seb will go off for his training! (I won't be talking about this right now because my heart races at the very thought of it!).

And so let's come back to Christmas. So we all cooked for the family's dinner and although the rationing really is kicking in, we had a wonderful feast and even though it wasn't as filling as it used to be, it was wonderful just because we were all together (most of us anyway) and we all shared it.

It was truly remarkable to just sit with our Group and be joined by my other cousins and friends too. This year was a bit different as not only Lily, Vance, Marion, Ada and myself sat together but we all, all of the cousins and friends sat together in a gigantic circle and talked _and_ talked. I suppose we did it because after all we could all feel the void in our hearts which was created by those five empty chairs standing near the window. I can still hardly bring myself to believe that Jo was sitting among us, even though she didn't say a word to anyone but only a few sentences to Vance's older sister Cornelia who, by the way, wasn't very willing to talk to Jo and neither was Jo herself, we could _all_ see that.

Ada is the best student in each of her Queen's class. She didn't say it herself and it was Auntie Di, her mother of course, who proudly announced it during our dinner. Ada at once said "Oh, _Mum_!" but she was smiling and her eyes twinkled.

Lily is doing splendidly at Redmond. She is just such a marvelllous creature and I'm certain that she'll be the best lawyer in the _entire_ Prince Edward Island (that's what Auntie Faith said and we are all echoing her words).

But Lily _is_ worried. She worries because John hasn't been writing as long and as detailed letters as he used to. Of course, she realises, he's extremely busy at the front, especially with all the things happening around him but still she does worry because she's not sure whether he is simply "bored of her". I only smiled at her when she said that to me and then I put a strand of her copper hair behind her freckled ear and said: "Lily, nobody of the right mind would _ever_ even be able to be a small bit bored of you. And John _is_ of the right mind, we all know that." and I meant every single word of it.

But apart from that small distress of Lily's, Christmas this year was quite lovely. Delia was running around and singing carols at the top of her lungs and nobody could mind because it was such a funny sight that we all laughed instead. Cousin Bruce's twins, Violet and Rose, were being passed around our "circle of friendship" as the adults called it, and we all played with them. Not even once did they want to go to the arms of their mother Louisa and she was grateful and talked with all the Aunties of mine instead, she _does_ deserve her bit of peace with her being a mother to two year olds (I still can't quite get over the fact that they _are_ two and a half years old already!) and having a husband who is to join the horrors of the war in a matter of few months.

A very romantic thing happened to me during Christmas Eve though. At the end of our family dinner, I was in the kitchen (as I was the one in charge of making more hot drinks) someone knocked on the kitchen window and I saw Seb waving at me through the falling snow. I put on my coat and a hat very quickly and went outside to see what's going on, he already gave me a beautiful hair pin in a shape of a violin as a Christmas gift, and so I feared that maybe he decided to enlist earlier and was here to show me how he looks in his new uniform... I remember shaking from fear while I went outside but I also remember how relieved I was when I saw him dressed in his old winter coat.

Seb smiled at me when he saw me and said "I'm just here for a moment. Mother will be cross with me when she finds out I left our Christmas dinner but I had to come and well…" he then put his right hand high in the air so that a mistletoe he held was directly above our heads. I laughed merrily and said "You are a romantic fool. You can easily catch a cold with all this snow falling down!" and Seb only smiled back and replied "I don't mind being a romantic fool for you." before kissing me straight on the lips. He then left while running back to his house, turning back to wave at me as he knew that I watched him go.

I am _so_ lucky to have him.

I have to go now, I am about to go and help Mum with decorating our house because we'll have a New Year party tomorrow at _our_ house and that means that everyone I know will be in our living room tomorrow night.

Yours,

Hester

* * *

"Hester! This is _such_ an incredible offer! You _have_ to take it!" Seb exclaimed excitedly, his light-brown curl falling onto his forehead.

It was the last day of the year of 1941, a beautiful and peaceful evening in the old and snowy Rainbow Valley. Hester and her sweetheart were walking together, their hands interlaced together, holding on for everything they loved about each other. It was the day when Seb came back "from town" in his brand new khaki uniform of the Canadian army. He looked so incredibly handsome that when Hester saw him for the first time, the first feeling which passed through her wasn't fear but only pride, such pride that her cheeks turned entirely red from its feeling. Every girl was looking at Seb with their mouth slightly ajar and breathlessly whispering into each other's ears when Seb picked Hester up in his arms, kissed her now trembling from fear lips and twirled her around when the snow was falling on both of them.

It was then when they went together to the Rainbow Valley and talked not of Seb's going away to the training camp after Newy Year's Eve but of every other thing which wasn't that. Hester told Seb of the proposition her grandparents Ford told her about during Christmas. Because it was Hester's last year of High School and she already started to think of what to do next in her life, they suggested her to consider applying and going to study at Toronto's Philharmony College where a certain friend of Leslie's worked there and could be of help when it came to making sure Hester would be very comfortable with studying over there and later pursuing a position of a permanent member of their orchestra.

"Seb, I _don't_ have to if I don't want to." Hester said quietly, her own mind thinking almost aloud.

Seb looked down at her from under his military cap and frowned "You don't want to? Why?" he asked her in disbelief.

"It's just that…" she sighed and then looked up at him "-I've always wanted to become a teacher first, it was my dream ever since I was seven years old. I wanted and still do, _extremely_ , to teach all of those children who only start to play a cello or a violin and who need an incredible encouragment to continue trying to do just that." she said almost passionately, her eyes twinkling.

Seb sighed as well but grinned at her nonetheless while putting his arm around her shoulders "I know it's your dream, being a teacher." he said "But, Hester, you know you can do it whenever you want to, even right now. But this kind of opportunity doesn't happen everyday." he looked seriously into her hazel eyes which looked back at him.

|I know that." she said quietly again and looked at the ground "But I just don't feel… _ready_ yet, you know?" she looked up at him again "And I still have time to decide, which is good, isn't it?" her voice was almost demanding a positive answer.

Seb left a soft kiss on her nose and he smiled at her "It's more than good, it means you have lots of time to think about it." he said and then drew her even closer to him all of a sudden "You'll have a reason to stop worrying for your boys at the front." he looked ahead of him for a second and Hester put her hands on his cheeks quickly so that he'd look at her instead.

Hester looked at him with a sudden gleam of horror in her hazel eyes "Oh, God, Seb, I'm _so_ afraid! I'm so, so, _so_ afraid of the future!" she cried out, which almost startled Seb who was only capable of putting her into an embrace and kissing her hair softly while she sobbed into his chest.

"Everyone of us is afraid of the future." he told her gently as she trembled in his arms "But I promise you, Hester, when this war is over, the world will be a happy place again."

Hester then looked up at him, her face all red and wet and when she saw him smiling, she forced herself to at least manage a small grin of her own "You think so?" she asked him slowly.

"I know it." he told her seriously and then put his large hands on her cheeks and wiped her tears away with a smile on his face "You know what is truly remarkable?" he asked her suddenly.

"What?" Hester asked him curiously, her heart beating slower eventually and her smile becoming wider second by second.

"That you are beautiful even when you cry." he said and then both of them suddenly started to laugh together, not really knowing why and how they managed to bring themselves to laugh in the first place.

"You talk nonsense, Sebastian." she told him, smiling as they both resumed their walk, their hands squeezing each other "But I love you for it."

Seb pulled her hand closer to him and stopped her from walking. He then put his hands around her waist and kissed her softly on the lips. Hester put her arms around his neck, trying everything in her power to remember everything about this moment, the way Seb's hands felt on her slim body, how warm he was, the fact that he smelled like a mixture of the new uniform he wore as well as his own self, and the fact that he also smelled as always of books. She knew she would need all of the memories of him she could possibly get and she was almost on the edge of crying again when their kiss ended. "Goodness, I am a lucky man." he whispered while caressing her flushed cheek. Suddenly everything around Hester seemed simple.

"Seb?" she whispered.

"Yes?" he said.

"Will you come back?" her voice trembled slightly.

"To you? Always." was the simple answer.

And Hester realised that she wouldn't want the beginning of a new year to start any bit differently.


	12. A Smile Is What You Need

**_Chapter XII_**

3rd January 1942

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I said my goodbyes to Cousin Bruce for he was going off to the training camp and today I said my farewells to my sweetheart, Seb, who left his home for the same reason as Bruce did.

This is why I am so worn out, so _exhausted_. Emotions are tearing me apart, that's the right phrase I should use and I feel it in every possible way. I can't make myself to go to school tomorrow but I _do_ need to go because I can't stay at home and worry all day long, I have to come back to the normality of my old life… Normality, what does it mean in this world now? I am already able to divide my life into the old life and the new life, with the war being the reason of this division. How many new parts will it have along the way?

My old life was before the war, then it was changed by the war and then my newer life was born when Seb kissed me for the first time. Now I'm starting an entirely new life it seems, the life without Seb by my side and with only the last two months to look back onto, the two months when there was nothing but the two of us in love with one another.

I will start off by writing all about Bruce's going off to the training camp. Louisa and the twins were already settled in the Manse with Grandma Rosemary and Grandad John by the time of Christmas Eve and they're all keeping _so_ strong for him! Louisa said her goodbyes to Bruce by kissing him hard on the lips but smiling for him and saying that if he won't come back to her she will expect him to be _damned_ for eternity. Bruce only laughed at that and kissed her back while everyone thought that possibly the Reverend John wouldn't think it so funny but he did laugh at it too but a wistful sigh followed it nonetheless. The twins are too young to know exactly what's going on and thank God for that. They kissed their daddy and hugged him too and then were asking when will they be able to eat another piece of cake, which made everyone laugh of course. So Bruce went off to the training camp with a smile on his face and the laughter was what he left behind him when the train he boarded was out of sight for all of those, myself included, who watched it disappear.

And today was the day of Seb's going away to the training camp. He was dressed in his unifrom and looked so handsome and dashing that my pride was expanding with every look I gave him and with every gaze he returned to me as well. Flora didn't come come because she didn't have enough courage to see her friend go away to war and so she and Seb said goodbyes to each other yesterday. However Seb's parents were there of course, and they were talking to me as if we knew each other always, even though it was only today when we met. Seb's mother is a shy, small lady, she is just a wee bit shorter than I am and I know that _I_ am quite short myself and she really has the kindest eyes, the same shade as Seb's, that clear ocean blue. His father is a strong and tall man who fought in the first war as a private. He has a moustache which really suits his elegant and gentleman-like personality of him too.

Seb was holding my hand for the entire hour when we were awaiting the train which was to come for him and other boys too. We didn't talk much, we didn't quite know what to say to each other at all for we were both scared. Seb couldn't fool me and I knew that he was and _is_ quite scared of it all himself, not as scared as Selwyn was but also not as brave and calm as Gilly or Marshall were when they were in his situation.

When the train came, I knew that my face was entirely white (I could _feel_ it), just like the snow which was lying all over the train station. I can't even remember what Seb said to his parents, I'm pretty sure that I just stared at him not fully realising what he was doing or saying at all. My mind was racing as it finally dawned on me that he _was_ going away, that we _will_ be parted from me with no knowledge when and… _if_ … we will ever see each other again.

When my vision came back to me I saw that Seb's mother was embraced by Seb's father as she weeped and Seb put his hands softly on my cheeks while looking down into my eyes from below of his military cap. "Write to me, dearest girl." he whispered quickly, probably aware that he only had one or two more minutes to spend with me.

"Of course." was the only thing I could manage to say between the tears which were running down my cheeks by then. All the decisions which I made myself on being brave and positive on that day simply vanished.

He then kissed me again and again. He smiled at me when he kissed me for the last time before jumping on the train and said: "I'll come back to you." and I could see in his eyes that he meant it.

"I know. I'll wait." I replied quite breathlessly as I was aware of it myself. Then he took his bag and stepped on the train, disapperaing inside.

Everyone gathered around the train by then, near the windows, looking for their sons, brothers, cousins, lovers, friends. I did too join the crowds and was searching in despair to see Seb one more time. Finally he reached out his hand from the opened window and I took it quickly, just in time when the train was slowly starting off its journey. I stepped on the train's footboard, like the two other girls did, and did the bravest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I put my hands around Seb's neck and kissed him strong on the lips, feeling as if it was truly the _last_ kiss we will ever share. " _Live your life as if each day was your last one_ " someone once said and today and in that moment especially was when this quote was my life.

Seb kissed me back and when the train started to go quicker I stepped back on the ground, still holding onto his hand and he squeezed my hand and called out through the noise: "I love you, Hester!" and I realised that it was the first time he actually said it aloud and this of course provoked me to cry once again even though I smiled through the tears running down my cheeks.

"I love you too, Seb! I _really_ do!" I called back to him and with the smiles we exchanged, the train took on more speed and our hands parted their ways and I slowed down, staring blankly at Seb's head sticking out of the window, waving at me with a bright smile on his face.

God, I'm sobbing _again_! I'm such a little baby! But how can one not sob when one's sweetheart is going off to the front with danger written all over his back? Oh, my darling Seb! I wrote to him a letter and posted it an hour ago already, Father thinking me crazy of course. And I am, I am just _crazy_ in love.

Yes, I'm lucky to have had those two months, some people don't even have a day. Like my dearest Auntie Una… Goodness, I know how much she would give to have the two months I had with Seb and to have them with my Uncle Walter before he went off to the war himself. She herself told me how lucky I was to know love, _real_ love in my life. She told me this when we were both washing the dishes on New Year's Eve (it is during this activity when one has the conversations they won't ever forget). And she was right.

Mum comforted me when I came back from the station. She let me cry for a bit and she was whispering into my ear all the things I needed to hear in that moment. Then Dad came into the room and he put on the radio and we all danced together as if I was five years old all over again. I can't begin to describe how grateful I am for my beautiful and wonderful parents.

Alright, I will go and practise my cello now because I could go on and on for far too long.

Goodnight then (I really hope that tonight I will be able to sleep!),

Yours,

Hester

* * *

"Does Seb know when he's going to the front yet?" Marion asked sheepishly her friend Hester who was sitting right in front of her in the House of Dreams' leaving room, on the sofa next to the ancient fireplace.

February's freezing wind was bumping into the windows and filling the room with its sound. It mixed quite perfectly with the recording of Camille Saint-Saëns's "Danse Macabre" playing from Hester's recorder. All three friends consisting of Hester, Marion and Vance sat together on the long sofa with cups of hot cocoa (which because of rationing could hardly be called a cocoa anymore) in their hands and they talked about everything together, all three timid and kindest souls sharing each other's thoughts.

Rilla, Faith, Nan, Mary and Una were all together in the kitchen baking something special for the upcoming birthday of grandpa Gilbert with was to be celebrated the next day. Therefore the whole house was filled with chatter and sometimes even laughter. It was a nice change, Hester thought to herself, to have her house filled with so many people again. She almost felt as if she was in Toronto again, between the crowds, the sound of conversations muffled so much between the kitchen, the living room, the sound coming out from outside as wind as well as the music coming out from the recorder.

Suddenly all the war news they've heard in the morning in the radio vanished from their minds for the day and they felt as if the days from before the war suddenly invaded their lives. Those kinds of days were welcomed very openly of course, and by everyone. Of course the mention of Seb going to the front made Hester's hairs on her arms to rise and her eyes to close for lonegr than usually but she smiled at her friend nonetheless "Yes, he will be sent to the front although he doesn't know where yet but he'll be going overseas in May, so there are three months left now." she replied calmly even though her hands were squeezing one another nervously.

Marion touched Hester's arm caringly and smiled in her sweet way "He'll be alright, Hester, you'll see." she said to her mildly.

Hester returned both the squeeze and a smile "I know, Marion. He _has_ to be." she said to her and to Vance "We write to each other constantly because we know that once he'll be sent overseas he won't be able to write to me as often as he can now." she said, her hand falling onto the pocket of her dress where she kept Seb's latest love-letter to his sweetheart.

Vance and Marion shared a knowing look with grins on their faces "So you write _real_ love-letters now!" Marion put her slender hand on her cheek in awe as her heart always yearned for everything romantic. Vance however looked down on her hands and Hester knew that she was thinking of the "what if" concerning writing love-letters and her brother Selwyn.

Hester took Vance's hand in her own, smiling at her and Vance smiled back at her timidly, the blonde strand of hair falling onto her forehead "Yes, we are." Hester confirmed, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

"Are they long letters?" Marion asked excitedly, her own cheeks flushing with sudden colour which made both Hester and Vance to chuckle.

"Yes, quite long. They're always usually five pages long." Hester answered cheerfully.

Marion sighed in a theatrical way, probably mimicking her older sister's expressions as if she was replacing her absence on that day "That is _so_ romantic!" she said and Hester and Vance laughed together again.

"It really is." Hester said dreamily "I've always imagined how it is to have a sweetheart but now that I really do have one I can honestly say that it is very different to imagine it and to experience it."

Marion and Vance smiled at each other and then at Hester "I hope that one day I'll know what you mean." Marion said dreamily as well.

"I hope so too." Vance added and squeezed Marion's hand with a knowing glance which passed between them.

"Of course you will, _both_ of you, dears!" Hester said decidedly, looking at both of her friends with gleam in her eyes "Don't you ever even try to think otherwise!" she told them both and resulted in both of her friends smiling back at her, she then grinned with an air of small satisfaction floating around her .

"Oh, I wanted to ask you, Hester…" Marion started suddenly "-Did you decide whether you'll go to Toronto in September and study over there?" both her and Vance's eyes looked at Hester with both curiosity and fear of losing their friend to a far off city.

Hester smiled at their concerned faces "I did decide and I'm _not_ going." she told them and both of her friends breathed a sigh of relief, resulting in all of them laughing together once more "I was thinking about every option which is open for me." she explained calmly "I talked with my parents, wrote to my brothers and Seb for advice and I got it eventually. They all told me that I was the one who should decide what to do but that I shouldn't think about anyone else only of myself and what _I_ want to do."

"And you don't want to go to Toronto?" Vance asked curiously, fear from her eyes gone entirely.

"No, I don't really want to." Hester shrugged, her voice disbelieving her own words "I mean, I would love to go on and become a composer one day. I _love_ composing as much as Selwyn loves writing but…" she turned her head towards the framed photograph standing on the windowsill with her parents on their wedding day "I can't leave my parents here with just themselves to worry about Selwyn and Gilly. I just wouldn't be able to bear the thought of them being so far away from me and reassuring me that everything is fine when it wouldn't be." she sighed, hiding the sudden flow of tears coming into her eyes.

Both Marion and Vance cuddled up with Hester at each side instantly "I would do just the same, Hester, if I were you." Marion said "And besides when the war is over you can still go on to study and become a composer." she smiled at her encouragingly.

Hester smiled kindly at her friends "It's not just that I don't want to leave my parents here with all of their children gone." she said "It's also that it was and _is_ my deepest dream ever since I started playing the cello myself, to become a teacher and to teach children the passion I myself possess." she smiled joyfully at the thought.

"So you'll be a teacher first?" Vance asked reassuringly.

"Maybe forever, darling." Hester smiled at both Vance and Marion "And I wouldn't mind one single bit." Marion and Vance grinned at their friend with pride and joy over knowing that she wasn't going anywhere far from her home and them too "And you are both staying here in Glen as well, aren't you?" she asked them carefully.

"Yes." both the brown-haired and blonde-haired girls replied in unison and all of them laughed together merrily "I'm going to apply for the position of a teacher at Glen School." Marion said with twinkling eyes.

"And I'm going to work at auntie Una's orphanage." Vance said happily.

"I will too!" Hester exclaimed excitedly "And apart from being a private music teacher, helping auntie Una in the orphanage I'll be doing more for the Red Cross to help our boys at the front." she said joyfully.

Marion and Vance jumped up just as excitedly "Yes! I will sign up for the Red Cross too!" Marion said.

"And me!" Vance added cheerfully.

That is how the evening progressed. The three friends talked and laughed together and eventually ended up dancing with one another to Hester's recordings. They were then joined by the women from the kitchen who finished baking and filling the entire house with the perfect smell of pastry.

The men came back into the house and were very brilliantly surprised to see their wives, sisters and daughters dancing and singing together while stealing cookies from the top drawer of the kitchen's cupboard from time to time. They joined them in that merry moment and when Hester went to bed that evening, she realised for the first time since Seb went to the training camp, that a smile appeared and remained on her face during the entire evening. It was quite a glorious phenomenon, to smile, which she needed more than she originally thought.


	13. Time For Hope And A Prayer

**_Chapter XIII_**

It was a surprisingly very warm afternoon at the shore, at the end of the month March. It was Hester's time, and she knew that well. She was sitting on the rocks and therefore where she always sat when she needed to take a break from everything concerning the world around her and also to just feel _alive_ and nothing else apart from that fact. Ever since the war started, this ritual somehow became more regular in the amount of time it was taking from Hester's Sundays' afternoons. But it was the perfect way for her to finish the week and to welcome the new one with a fresh, or at least fresh enough, mind and thoughts. And what could be more wonderful and relaxing than sitting on the beach, wind blowing softly into your hair and the waves of the ocean crashing on the sand like they always have been, ever since the beginning of time.

Hester's hair was obediently flowing with the wind, she was wearing her grey coat and her very old scarf, a red one who was knitted by her aunt Una once upon a time when she was only six years old. Her face was, as always, pale but her cheeks were pink and her dented lips redder than usual too. She was sitting calmly on the rocks, her arms wrapped around her knees and she watched the waves and the passing clouds above them.

She was distracted by a person whom she least expected to see standing right next to her. "Will!" she said a smile still on her lips "What are you doing here?" she asked her cousin softly.

Will's hazel eyes, so much like their grandafather Gilbert's and Hester's own, sparkled as usual and he smiled down at Hester "Well, you don't know that Hester, but I come over here too, from time to time." he told her as he sat down on the rock next to her, crossing his legs and putting his hands behind his back, his brown hair getting messy because of the wind.

Hester looked at him with a grin on her face. _He looks so much like grandpa Gilbert!_ she thought to herself and was amazed by how true her thought was, but she didn't say it out loud "I must say that this place is the perfect spot to gather your thoughts together." she said gently.

"Uhm, it is." Will agreed with her, looking at the waves but then swiftly turning his head towards her too "We don't talk so much together do we?" he said suddenly.

Hester raised her thick eyebrows at him, trying to figure out where his thoughts were going "I suppose that we don't." she replied in her tender voice "Only during family dinner on Sundays." she suddenly felt a very big heap of regret because of that in the very centre of her heart.

Will, as if reading her thoughts, put his hand on her own and squeezed it with a smile on his face "That's why I'm glad I met you here, cousin." he told her and she smiled back at him "How's Gil and Selwyn?" he asked her.

"They're both fine." she answered calmly "As fine as soldiers at war can be, that is." a shadow fell over her face but she quickly pushed it away with a soft grin reappearing on her lips.

"They're always fine." Will smiled at his older cousin "They always will be too, I'm sure of it."

"Are you always so sure of things, Will?" Hester asked him, grinning.

Will chuckled "No." he replied and both of them laughed together, looking at the ocean in front of them and then at each other again. It was then when Hester really noticed how much Will changed already, since the last time they talked together for as long as they were talking now. He was to be sixteen that summer but he certainly looked much older than that, he looked at least twenty she thought, with being so tall and his shoulders being so broad. Hester smiled at his face, she knew that Gilbert Blythe of the Avonlea days must have looked just like him, that was what her grandma always used to say at each of their family gatherings after all.

"Are you going to Queen's in September then, Will?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I am." he replied although before he did, he sighed deeply "But I'm not very keen on going there, you know."

"Why not?" she asked him curiously.

He shrugged and took off his blue scarf "Because I don't know what to do afterwards and going to Queen's only puts pressure on me to decide what to do with my life and I have _no_ idea." he explained with a shrug at the end.

"Maybe it will help you to decide instead, did you think about it that way?" Hester smiled kindly at him.

Will turned his head to face her and grinned back at her "No, I didn't." he admitted "But you might be right." he then sighed softly again followed by a quiet chuckle coming out of his mouth "I don't even know why I care so much about it, the war is on after all."

Hester looked at him with a sudden fear in her eyes "You don't mean that you'll _enlist_ as well?" she asked him despite herself.

He looked at her and squeezed her hand "I'll have to, Hester." he told her seriously "It is my duty after all."

"So you think that the war will last for at least two more years then?" she asked him, her voice trembling a bit but she hoped he would think it's only because of the sudden chilly blow of the wind.

"I think so, and my parents do too." he replied softly "America has just joined the war but it doesn't have to mean that we'll win quickly. And you listen to the war news yourself so, you know, there's an endless list of the new bombings and battles and such, so yes, I don't think that it will finish quicker than in two years."

Hester looked away and now stared at the ocean, her eyes slowly filling up with sudden wave of tears. Will, noticing them, quickly put his protective arm around her as if their age was reversed and now he was eighteen and she was sixteen, and he kissed her head gently "I'm sorry, Hester." he whispered into her ear "I didn't mean to cause you any sadness. And, by God, you have _so_ many people to worry about in your life, who are at the front, that I think that you are truly the strongest person I know." he looked her in the eyes and smiled reassuringly.

A few tears fell down Hester's cheeks and she managed to smile back at him "Why do so many people say that to me?" she asked him and caused Will to laugh again.

"Because it's true, silly." he replied and both of them chuckled together "And, Hester, _how_ do you do it? Keeping so strong and hopeful all the time?" he asked her.

Hester touched the pocket of her coat and felt a thin piece of paper inside it. She could almost feel the faint handwriting scribbled over it by the hand of her and Will's uncle whom they never knew but whom she could always feel watching over her and her family. She didn't take the letter out, she didn't feel that was a right thing to do in that moment and instead she looked back into Will's eyes and smiled at him gently "Like you said," she replied calmly now "-I have so many people I have to worry about and who are at the front. Gilly is brave and strong and I know he'll be always fine out there, whatever happens." she smiled at the memory of her tall black-haired brother "Selwyn…" her smile suddenly vanished from her face "-he's just as brave but not as certain as Gil about what he does over there. But both of them always tell me _not_ to worry and just keep on doing what I do everyday anyway, to pray for them, for their safety. Then it's Seb…" her hand trembled when she said his name aloud and Will squeezed it gently "-and well, _he_ 'll be fine. I can feel that he will because… he just will." she looked back at her cousin's expectant face which was still smiling back at her "And you know what, Will, I keep so strong and hopeful because of _them_ , because of how much I love them all, and John and Walt too of course." she smiled at him "I suppose that it's love that gives you hope, isn't it?"

Will drew her closer to him and grinned down at her "It must be then." he said to her "I'll remember this moment with you, Hester. And you know why?" he asked her.

"Why?" she asked him, her eyes shining like his own.

"Because _you_ gave me _hope_." he replied and both cousins turned their heads in the direction of the ocean, Will's arm still around Hester's shoulders and both of their faces a perfect picture of what the definition of hope must truly be.

* * *

18th April 1942,

Dearest Phillip,

Oh _God_ , Phillip! I _don't_ care about the war news anymore, well that's not true, I _do_ care because of Selwyn and John and Walt but… I _don't_ care what's happening in Bataan or that the Japanese landed on Cebu Island or anything like that. I don't because today we received a telegram that Gilly, my _dearest_ brother, has been reported "wounded and missing" and we won't know what happened to him for a long time, a very _very_ long time.

Mother sobbed the entire morning when she received the letter and Dad struggled to calm her down and so I knew that it was my own time to go to my own room and cry as much as I wanetd to into my pillow, to let go of all the emotions reappearing in my body and soul all at once. But after an hour I didn't have any tears left in my eyes and so I sat down on the windowsill, and looked outside the window with nothing on my mind anymore, and this hardly ever happens as _you_ know yourself.

After this period of me being entirely torn apart and literally thinking that someone has taken my heart out and threw it into the fire, I started to calm myself down and I came back to being hopeful. I still don't know _how_ I actually did this transition. But while sitting on that windowsill, after some time, I did start to think about many different things and one of them was that Gil… (I had to stop and dry this piece of paper so that you can read it, dear Phillip!) -that Gil would never want me or our parents or anyone else to worry about him because in each of his letters he would always assure me that whatever happens, he _will_ be fine, one way or the other.

And the telegram was only stating "wounded and missing" and not that he was… killed or anything like that. But even though I _do_ believe he'll be found and everything but oh God, _Phillip_! My darling older brother who was and still is the greatest hero, so brave and so funny all the time and _so happy_! I can't imagine him in any sort of pain… I can't stop imagining him lying somehwere… covered in mood and blood… and… _waiting_ for someone to help him… There, I'm crying again… Here five minutes went by and I'm better now.

But even though all of that still crosses my mind, I still have hope in my heart and I do "have faith" like Uncle Walter told us all to have. I've read his letter today about thousands of times and every single time it really does make me feel stronger, for my dear Gilly especially.

I know he'll be fine, he _always_ is.

I remember when I was about seven years old and he was eleven back then, and he came back home from school with his arm bleeding terribly. He was hit by a brick falling onto him from a building site somehwere in the city and it was broken of course, his shoulder I mean. But all the way through, when he had it taken care of by the doctor, he was smiling so bravely and he was saying to me "Don't worry, Hes. I'm alive, that's what's important, right?". How lucky he was, too? That was what Dad always used to say while telling this story. This brick fell on his shoulder and not his head, only a few inches away! Gilly was always lucky in that way and so I _do_ know and I really, _really_ believe that he is lucky now too.

Besides, Phillip, I would know if he was truly… dead. I _would_ know, I would be able to _feel_ it, I know I would. Both Mum and Dad would as well so we are all staying hopeful and very positive for him. We survived the first wave of shock and horror and now (when I stopped crying those few hours ago I came downstairs, you see) we're all sitting in our living room with the radio playing "Chattanooga Choo Choo" and Dad is clapping his hands in the song's rhythm while reading one of the articles he has to edit for tomorrow morning and Mum has a soft smile on her face as she's now sleeping peacefully with Dad's arm around her shoulders. And I'm sitting near the lamp and writing this letter to you.

I know that everything will be fine.

Uncle Jem went wounded and missing too, in the first war and he was fine after all even though everyone worried about him so much. Mum, Dad and I all talked about this today too, she said that it was very hard _not_ to worry but she did her best to simply "have faith". And after all that's all we can do, to try our best in staying optimistic about our dear Gil.

I know that my parents are trying to keep strong for me right now. I can see that Mum's face is still a bit shiny from crying and that Dad's face is still a bit pale. God only knows how much I adore and admire both of them for all the effort they put in to keep me positive. It's good to have each other in this kind of situation, this on its own keeps you alive and hopeful for the best.

You know what's strange? In all of this, all this mess and sobbing and stress and chaos in general, my head is entirely full of music. I can just feel my fingers twitching nervously, eager to be put onto the strings of my cello, or my violin or even the notes of the piano! See? The very idea makes me grin instantly! I certainly will start composing quite rapidly again, I can hear another tune in my head right in this moment, as I'm writing this to you. It's very soft but clear enough: it's a slow tune and it makes me think of a smile… Maybe I'm starting to think of new compositions because it's just that I'm writing to you and that you, my dear friend, always make me feel so happy?

It's the hope in my heart that keeps the music coming into my head, I know that that's the reason as well and I welcome it with open arms.

Please, my dear friend, pray for my dearest brother and his safety and that he will soon be found, safe and sound. Please, could you do it for me? I would be very thankful indeed. I know that tonight all of my family members and friends will pray for him. Not just tonight and I know they probably did it before tonight too (like myself) but tonight we will all say a very special prayer for him and I'm sure it will all work out in the end, won't it?

I don't even want to think what Selwyn will think of all of this… I can only hope (how many times have I said this word in this letter?) that he won't be affected by it as deeply as I think he might be. Oh, God, here comes another wave of tears coming into my eyes… But I _won't_ cry! I won't! I won't for my brothers' and cousins' and my parents' sakes.

It just starts me thinking of all the things that could happen to Gil, Selwyn, John, Walt, Marshall and my dear Seb too… I am so afraid for them, even more now than before. But I don't want to think about _any of this_! I just said this to my Dad and he told me that what I should do is to go upstairs and play some cello for him and Mum and I think I will do just that.

Thank you for reading this terrribly disorganised letter from me.

Thank you for being my friend, Phillip, and I do _hope_ that I will see you soon again.

Remember that I will always remain

Your faithful friend,

Hester


	14. Friends

**_Chapter XIV_**

6th May 1942

Dear Diary,

Yesterday Japanese artillery attacked Corregidor and we all know already that the month of May will be absolutely filled with war even _more_ than before, if that's possible at all. And to be honest I do try my best not to listen to the war news each morning, especially when I'm going to school and that is because my final exams are starting off in a few days time and at school we have time to revise everything and also to ask all the most necessary questions our teachers who are extremely helpful but do want us all to focus not on war _but_ on our exams and that is what I'm trying to do. But I can't block it all out entirely, how can I when Selwyn and John are fighting at the front in France, our dear Gilly is still missing and now Walt has been reported wounded and missing as well.

It's been a week since Walt has gone missing and so we had a week to get past the first wave of another shock. Auntie Faith was and still is the definition of her name and although we know that she did cry when she found out about her oldest child to be "wounded and missing", she is now very hopeful just like my parents and I are about both our Gil and her and Uncle Jem's Walt. Marion firstly went into hysterics but soon enough, she too overcame her fears and started to feel a blossoming of hope in her heart. Uncle Jem is, of course, worried, like the rest of us but he is the strongest of us all and maybe it's because he was wounded and missing too in the first war. He has an idea of what kind of things might be happening to his son but he _is_ keeping up hope that whatever it is that is happening, Walt will get out of that place called "missing" and he'll be found. We think the same of our Gilly.

We all had time to recover from shock after Gil was announced wounded and missing over three weeks ago now and I am extremely proud of all of us, to stay so positive and hopeful in this stressful time of not knowing what happened and what is _still_ happening to our Gil. But like I always love to highlight: we are Fords, Blythes and Merediths, and we are one big family who always was and always will be hopeful and will "have faith" just like Uncle Walter told us to have, all of those twenty years earlier.

However, there's one person who completely lost her mind when she found out that Walt is "wounded and missing" and that person is Vance's older sister Cornelia and therefore Walt's fiancee. When she found out, Vance told me, she sobbed terribly at first but then she said almost angrily: "You said you'll be fine, you _said_ you'll be alright!" as if she was talking to Walt who was in front of her. Then she flew out of the house and when she came back a few hours later she announced seriously, with all the energy she suddenly found in herself, that she has joined the VADs and is to go for a nurse training next month which will follow her going off to England and working there.

She didn't ask either her mother or her father for their permission and apparently there was a gigantic fight over her decision. However, the argument ended with the entire Douglas family embracing each other and crying together.

Vance said that Cornelia signed up because she wanted to make sure that when her fiance was found, she would be the one to tend to him and also to any sort of wounds he would be carrying on his body. I admire her bravery and her passion, and especially her determination because if anyone knows Cornelia Douglas they know that she is extremely stubborn and could pass as a Blythe already. Both Vance and I are glad, though, that she's going to go and help out in that special way all the boys, not only our own (please God don't let our boys even be at any hospital, _ever_!) but all the other Canadian, British, American or any other soldiers needing help. Aunt Faith already had a long conversation with Cornelia about being a nurse at the war and for which Mrs Douglas thanked her greatly.

I know that I wouldn't be able to go overseas and be a nurse myself. I'm this kind of person who needs to help others but in a more… emotional way, not the physical way. I love making other people smile by something I say or do, like play my cello for example. That is probably why this is my passion, music I mean. It makes other people smile, even the ones who thought they could never smile again. But I can't be strong enough to help someone physically, I just _can't_ look at blood, not lots of it anyway. That is why I admire my grandpa Gilbert and my Uncle Jem, they are both such wonderful doctors and did so much for people in this need. But of course, I do very _very_ much admire Auntie Faith as well. We've heard of some of the things she has seen at the front while being a nurse, all of those hundreds of men lying in their own blood waiting hopelessly for her help… I shiver at the very thought that all of this is happening _all over again_. I can only hope and pray that in another twenty years time there won't be any third war which would involve the entire world around us.

Seb is going to the front today. He is in England for three days now and now he'll be joining our boys in the trenches, in France as well, where Selwyn and John are right at this moment. I hope they will all meet each other and keep each other's company while awaiting the coming-back of Walt's.

I am _terribly_ scared for my Seb, of course, I am! My hands trembled so badly when I received that telegram of his saying that he has just arrived in France and will be at the front in a few hours time. I couldn't even read it properly at first. He's _my_ sweetheart and I intend to have him as my one and only sweetheart for life. I do love him greatly and I know that he loves me too and I do think that our love is strong enough to get him through it all and then make him come back to me when it's all over. I do have such sweet dreams for our future together… I do try not to think about them too much, of course, one shouldn't at the time of war but even Mum said to me that she was thinking them too when she was waiting for Dad to come back from the front.

Seb wrote to me that he's not scared of going to the front and that is because he's carrying the photograph of me in the pocket of his uniform. He thinks of all of the features of my face while looking at it, remembering everything and all the memories we share together of one another. I won't be writing here everything he says to me in his letters but I must say that he's very romantic and I love him for that too because that's also who he is. That love we share keeps me optimistic.

Selwyn is very brave, I am _so_ proud of him my chest aches. When he found out that Gilly is wounded and missing, he was very calm about it and only wrote to us that yes, he _did_ cry for his brother for a bit, but then calmed himself down and is decided, like all of us here, to be strong and to keep hope for his older brother whom he knows as much as we all do, to be alive. Now that Walt, one of his best friends, is also wounded and missing, Selwyn wrote that he too cried with John (both of them holding each other's hands and thinking of their mutual bosom friend) over Walt but after that small moment of giving up, both he and John concluded that there's nothing else they can do but to do just keep on being positive, if not for themselves then for both Gil and Walt. I do hope that Selwyn truly is just that, positive I mean, like all of us here. I won't know for sure of course, and this lack of me knowing exactly how he feels really breaks my heart.

I shall have to leave now, I have to go and revise the Tudors again and I know that the dates are switching their numbers in my head every half an hour so I _do_ have to see them all again and try to memorise them!

I will try to write in here sooner than next week but I'm not promising anything, after all, I can already feel that this month (the month of me turning truly _eighteen years old_!) will be full of everything.

Yours,

Hester

* * *

Somehow, almost miraculously, the month of May came into the world once more. With it came spring and its real definition of the beauty of nature. The soft breeze was causing the leaves on the now fully green trees to flow and the birdsong was filling the air, allowing a strong scent of flowers to be another ingredient of it.

Hester was right, the month of May was pumped with war news but also a lot of revising for Hester and her cousins and friends at school. Because of both the war news and revision, she postponed her birthday celebration to the very last day of the month when the news quietened only slightly but all of her exams were written and done, forever.

"What did you get from your Seb for your birthday, Hester?" Marion asked her friend with flushed cheeks because of the very warm weather on that sunny day.

After a family dinner celebrating Hester officially becoming an adult, after all the talking, eating and even singing and dancing, everyone went back home apart from Hester, Marion and Vance as their trio went together for a stroll down the ancient yet eternally beautiful Rainbow Valley.

All three of them were walking slowly next to one another, all in their best dresses which all of them sewed themselves a few months earlier and also out of the old curtains from their homes. If someone would have looked at them in that moment, with all the trees surrounding them and a sunset appearing behind their slim figures one could think that they couldn't, each on her own, be more beautiful and look more unearthly.

Th only person who was missing on that walk was Lily, of course, but she was in the middle of her last week of exams at Redmond and couldn't come which like she wrote to Hester, "makes me feel so furious I'm _positive_ that if I was to hit a tree trunk right now it would split into two!". Indeed if Lily would be there to join their walk, they would be able to each represent an entirely different person each of them was, of course. If not for their personality then for their hair, as each had a different colour.

Hester blushed under hearing the name of her sweetheart and smiled at both Marion and Vance walking on her right "He couldn't get me anything really as he _is_ at the front but…" she reached out for the piece of paper in the pocket of her pink dress and opened it to reveal an envelope containing four pages long letter written very hurriedly by Seb's hand "He had found the time to write for me a very long _love_ letter which I read every day since I got it and so since last week." she smiled at the pages in her hand before putting them all back into her pocket.

"Why didn't you say that he wrote it to you?" Vance asked, grinning slightly at her friend as she herself knew the answer well.

"I wanted it to be my little secret for a little while." Hester said in her calm voice "Of course, I would tell you sooner or later but I just really did feel that this letter was especially _special_ to me and so I kept it a secret."

Both Marion and Vance smiled at Hester knowingly. "Hester?" Marion said suddenly "Why didn't Flora come to the party?" she asked her and Hester sighed deeply.

"Flora doesn't have this much time to be my friend anymore, it seems, but you know that by now, don't you, girls?" she asked them and they nodded in agreement "She's always somewhere else during breaks and you know… I'm not this sure why all of a sudden she decided to remove me from her life, but girls, I don't mind that much really." she assured them when she saw that both Vance and Marion clutched to her hands instinctively "I mean, I would probably really mind if I didn't have any friends at all, but I have you." she smiled gratefully at both of her kindred spirits walking next to her who returned her smile without a delay "And besides I always have someone to talk to when it's break-time as I always sit at the table with a group of all the other girls." she said and then chuckled "I mean I _was_! Goodness gracious we _finished_ high school, dears!" she squeezed both hands of Vance and Marion who laughed with her cheerfully, the echoes of their voices filling the entire Rainbow Valley.

"Isn't it strange that we did finish school?" Marion asked her friends excitedly "I am actually really enthusiastic about starting teaching at our Glen school come September and reverse the situation we've all been facing for so many years." she smiled at the idea and the girls grinned at her too.

"And I can't wait to go to auntie Una's orphanage tomorrow and start my regular work there." Hester said and looked at Vance knowingly who smiled back at her.

"I can't wait for that too. I _love_ children." she sighed dreamily and the girls next to her did too.

"And you'll be a teacher too, Hester." Marion pointed out to the black-haired slowly walking girl beside her.

"Yes, but not as much as you'll be yourself, Marion." Hester replied with a grin on her face "But I'm extremely excited for it too. It seems that all I want to do in my life so far is to just keep on being busy to have my mind occupied with something which isn't stressful in _any_ way." she said, a shadow passing through her hazel eyes as well as the rest of her face.

Marion took Hester's hand in her own and squeezed it tightly. Both girls had their older brothers "wounded and missing" and that was another connection they both shared for the past few weeks. That is why with a simple grin they both shared in that moment, Hester's spirits lifted up again.

Vance took Hester's other hand and smiled at her sweetly too, her own eyes turning a bit darker too. Hester and Vance shared a secret, the secret of Vance's hidden feelings for Selwyn and Hester could still remember that one short conversation they had a day after Gilly was reported missing, and Vance desperately saying that she's scared even more not only for her own brother but for Selwyn as well. But now Vance was grinning lightly at her friends and Hester knew that they were all incredibly blessed to have one another. Yes, Flora did talk to her much less and certainly stopped being one of her closest friends some time earlier during that year but that was, after all, because how God planned it to be, Hester knew that very well. Besides, how could she grieve losing Flora as her friend when she had such beautiful, faithful and sweet girls walking right next to her, holding her hands with a certainty that whatever happens they will always hold onto them?

Hester smiled back at her girls kindly "I don't say it enough." she started with shining eyes, slowly filling with warm tears "But I do _love_ you, my dearest friends, and I don't know what I'd have done without you in my life."

Marion's and Vance's eyes filled with fresh tears too and each held one another's hand, grinning at each other through their misty eyes "I love you too, Hester." Marion said quietly but fiercely.

"So do I, dear." Vance assured her and then turned to Marion "And you too, dear Marion." she smiled at the brunette standing next to her.

"I love you too, Vance." she replied and all three of them chuckled together with a sudden lump of joy creating in their hearts.

"I'm not at all too sure what my Seb would say about all of _this_ …" Hester said and all of them started laughing all over again and so hard at that like they didn't in months.

This is how the evening continued for Hester and her friends. They laughed together and talked for the next two hours before each went back to their own homes, feeling more light-hearted than they did probably ever since the war started. As soon as Hester got home she wrote to Lily and wished that that red-haired sweet girl was there with them too but somehow she knew that she was, she was always in their thoughts during the day and that was something none of the members of Hester's Group could ever deny.

It was how Hester's first day of being a "grown-up" ended and with a funny but very appropriate and merry thought she fell asleep that night. The thought that crossed her mind was: "It was my first day of being an adult but I feel more like a child today than I did in the last three years of my life.". And that's how she slept during that night, with a soft smile on her lips.


	15. One Sunny Day

**_Chapter XV_**

24th June 1942

My dearest Seb,

Your letters on their own make me feel so much happier and full of joy that I'm sure you can't even imagine just how much I love getting them. I wait for each every day and run to the mailbox as soon as I hear a postman coming by. Are you sure you want to be an opera singer? I think you were born to be a poet!

I know I say this in every letter to you but I think about you so many times during the day that it really is heartwarming whenever I get your letters and somehow they do reassure me that you are fine and _will_ be as well. My darling, I do hope that you are writing to me only the truth about your safety and being fine. You know that I do worry about you no matter how many times you'll tell me not to. You _are_ my sweetheart and I am yours and nothing will ever change that so I am very impatiently waiting for you to come home, _to me_.

I'm looking at the photograph of you in your uniform which is standing on my nightstand and I can assure you that that I'm smiling widely. Goodness gracious, darling, I _do_ miss the texture of your curls... and the twinkle in your eyes when you're singing in your pure tenor voice which is so beautiful… (Two pages omitted because of Hester's evening time sinking into oblivion of romance)

Now let's go back to the news from our little Glen and Four Winds.

Lily came back from Redmond College last weekend and it's so extremely good to have her back, you have _no_ idea, dear. She's this bright spot in our family and I even think that her hair defines that exactly. She has always been so joyful and it has always been her who was the definition and a metaphor for hope and positivity. She's still the same even with the war on and I am so grateful to consider her as one of my very best and closest friends. So right now our circle of friends is almost complete with us waiting for Ada to eventually come for the summer in two weeks' time. Then it will all seem as if the war wasn't on at all, that is _only_ when our Group will be together in the Rainbow Valley because the war _cannot_ be blocked out of our minds however much we will try.

Yes, of course, we all do lots of work for the Red Cross and we're knitting like crazy. I do enjoy doing it very much because not only it is a beautiful way for all of us to be together with our mothers and aunties and to talk with one another, (even gossip a bit for a good laugh!) and joke and even, believe it or not, sing. I'm sure that you, a future opera singer, would laugh incredibly if you were here with all us and hear _us_ sing!

But of course the main goal and reason why we're doing it is because of you, Gilly, Selwyn, Walt, John and Marshall. We're doing all of this work for you, it's not much if you think about it but it's _something_ and therefore it counts and that's what makes me very happy. I'm happy that I'm able to do at least that for you, even if it's relatively little and small.

Vance's older sister, Cornelia, is about to do even more than just knitting. She has left her home for her nurse-training yesterday and is in very high spirits about it, it gives her a _real_ purpose, she said. She turned to us, when she was already dressed in her new uniform and was about to go to the train station, and said to all of us girls triumphantly "I'm going to be there for our boys, darlings. If anything, God forbid, will happen to any of them, _I_ will be there to help them." and I had tears in my eyes because I felt so much lighter as I know that she means it with all her heart. But fear and worry were there in her eyes as she touched the shining diamond on her finger and we all knew she was thinking of Walt, her fiance and what _could_ be happening to him _right now_.

And we were thinking of him too and my own Gil as well. There isn't an hour during the day or even during the night when I don't think about the both of them and where they are and in what state of body and mind the two of them are. It makes me want to sob into my pillow all over again but I'm not going to do that. I did it already, as you know yourself, when we all found out that they are "wounded and missing" but it was the first and the last time when I would cry, I promised myself, I won't cry even once before they will be found. Thank you, my darling, for praying for their safety as well, it really does mean ever so much to me! To all of us.

I know, I feel in my heart that they will be fine and that they will certainly come out of whatever the situation they're in right now. We all think the same thing and we all pray and hope for both of our handsome boys. Grandpa Meredith never forgets to mention both of their names after each of his Sunday's sermons and every time he does mention them I feel the presence of God in my heart and the feeling of reassurance that all is and _will_ be fine with the world. I know thst you think that too, my dearest.

There will be another cousin of ours joining the war very soon, you know. I don't know him very well and the last time I've seen him was about four years ago because he and his family live in Gillingham, in a town near the unknown-land-to me called London. The cousin I'm writing to you about is called Tom Meredith and he just turned eighteen years old and two days after birthday he enlisted to the RAF just like Gil and Marshall did almost three years ago now. We received his very new photograph with him in his new uniform. We could _not_ believe how much he changed in those four years time! He looks like a very grown up man even though he's still so very young! He indeed looks very much mature. I already wrote to him yesterday evening to wish him good luck and to make him promise to write to me as often as he can just to let me know that he _is_ fine, wherever he'll be.

It's been a week since I've started working at the orphanage in the Lower Glen with my Auntie Una. Vance joined me too, of course, and we enjoy ourselves very much. It really is so heartening and blissful to spend your day with children all around you. They talk such silly and darling little things that sometimes I feel like my heart could explode with love over them even though it's been only a week since I've started to help out there. I spend my time there especially with the youngest children, and the youngest of them all is the eight months old baby girl called Daisy and she is _just_ like her name, she is simply the sweetest and you, my darling, can't imagine how happy I felt when she fell asleep on my chest as I rocked her in my arms while watching how other children were eating their lunch. Of course, I _can't_ know how it feels like to be a mother, I won't be able to say it until I will have children of my own but in that moment I felt as if I _was_ one, even if it was just for that one darling hour with small Daisy in my arms and her blonde locks tickling my chin.

I was coming back home from the orphanage with Vance and Auntie Una by my side today and I told them both that if I could I would adopt all of our twenty-four beautiful children. They both smiled at me and Auntie Una, as you know she has worked there ever since she came back from India in 1927, said to me: "My dear Hester, if it was up to me, I would make sure to marry a King and take all of those children with me to live in a huge palace where they won't want for anything". She is truly my kindred spirit, that's all I can say.

I shall be going now, dearest. It's quite late in the evening and tomorrow I'm meeting with the very first mother of my student whom I'll start teaching in September. My student is just six years old but she's very eager to start playing the cello and I can't say I blame her, I will encourage her even. So I have to wake up quite early in the morning, you see.

Stay safe, my dear, and remember that I'm thinking of you every day and every night. I hope to hear from you soon although I know that you're busy.

I love you,

Always yours,

Hester

* * *

"So you're not going to be a missionary then, dear Marion?" Hester asked her brown-haired friend on the last evening of June 1942. The sunset was there, in the sky and on the horizon and beneath its colours was the ocean spreading before the Group of Hester's which was still incomplete as it still awaited the arrival of Ada but even so it did feel quite complete with the much-needed addition of Lily, their red-headed optimistic soon-to-be-lawyer.

They were all sitting on two huge blankets spread on the brown sand of the beach, the summer's warm breeze covering their faces like a veil and disarranging their hair. They did look beautiful, like always, and funny at the same time because their hair danced with the wind and each of their heads had a different colour of it, a feature which their family loved looking at.

Marion blushed slightly but smiled radiantly nonetheless "No, I'm not, Hester." she replied gently, putting a scarf around her shoulders "That is why I am very happy that the Glen's school, our very own school, accepted me in a position of the English teacher."

"Of course, they did, dear." Lily said assuringly and started to put her hair into a ponytail "You're no ordinary person and therefore no ordinary teacher." she winked at her younger sister and Marion smiled back at her "But it's a shame that none of you will join me at Redmond!" she groaned at this and really did look annoyed with the thought.

"Ada will go to study Mathematics." Hester put in and grinned lightly at her red-haired friend and a cousin.

"I know, I know…" Lily said hurriedly and then smiled again at the girls around her "I _do_ like Ada and she _is_ my friend but she's not a friend to me like all of _you_ are, my dearest girls." she put her right hand on Vance's hand and her left one on Hester's and she smiled at Marion.

The girls smiled back at Lily "I know what you mean." Hester agreed "I do love Ada but because she lives so far away we don't share all the memories with her as much as we all here share."

The girls nodded in agreement "But at least she'll have someone she knows once she'll get to Redmond in September." Vance added kindly.

"That's true, dear." Lily said and grinned at her shy friend "And I'll feel very lucky to have her nearby, I'm sure. And even though you won't be going to Redmond, you'll all be so busy over here!" she clasped her hands together and shook her head as if imagining _how_ busy all of her friends will be with their jobs even though still staying in the small Glen and Four Winds.

The girls around her laughed merrily and looked at each other knowingly "It's good that we'll be occupied." Hester said "It will take our minds off all the "what ifs" and so on…" she added absent-mindedly and she came back to earth only when Lily touched her hand gently and smiled lightly into her eyes.

"Don't worry, honey." she said to her "Both Gil and Walt will be found in no time, you'll see." she and Marion shared a very intimate glance of the two sisters who were equally worried about their older brother no matter how much they hoped and prayed for his and his cousin's safety.

All of them fell silent for a moment, as if a prayer was hanging in the air around them, giving the moment a religious feel and Hester thought that for that one moment there was really no war and no world around them but the beach and the ocean in front of them. It was a moment of peace they were all yearning for ever since the start of the war, all of those three years ago. In that small moment of calmness Hester knew that indeed Lily was right, their brothers will be safe and sound and they will found soon too, maybe not today or tomorrow but they _will_ be.

Lily broke off the silence by smiling at her friends who smiled back at her "Did I tell you what Ada wrote to me recently in one of her letters?" she asked them all.

The girls raised their eyebrows in curiosity and leant closer together as if they were about to hear a secret of real importance "No, what did she write to you, Lily?" Marion asked her sister.

"She said that she's extremely excited for Redmond, and I really don't blame her at all. I'm excited for going back even now!" she chuckled sweetly "And also that besides from giving everything to the subject of Maths, she is _really_ looking forward to maybe, as she said, having a _romance_ of her own while studying there." she nodded towards the girls to announce that that was the end of the story.

"I think everyone hopes for a bit of romance while going off to a university or a first job." Hester said with a smile on her face, her eyes shining and her mind producing an image of a tall, handsome, young singer with blonde curls coming out of his military cap and her face turned dreamy.

"Says someone who already _has_ a sweetheart of her own!" Lily touched Hester's hand and smiled at her while Hester blushed gently "How do I envy you, Hester." Lily's hazel eyes suddenly turned saddened and somehow far away. All the girls looked at their friend with worry in their own eyes and Lily looked up at them and knew that she had to say more of what she's thinking of "Sometimes, I feel like I won't be able to bear another day without writing to John and telling him all about my feelings for him so that he'd know, at least." she was looking at her hands attentively and then she looked at Hester, Marion and Vance once more "But then I stop myself from doing so because I wouldn't be able to bear his answer." a wave of warm tears sprang into her eyes and Hester instinctively put her arm around her shoulders and drew her into a warm hug.

"I know, dear." she said to her softly "Love isn't easy at all, is it?" Hester said half looking into Vance's eyes and both sharing a knowing glance, the two of them thinking of the two boys they both loved, Vance of Selwyn and Hester of her own sweetheart. Hester's own eyes filled with a sudden bucketful of tears "And don't envy me, Lily." she said to her once Lily sat back up "Seb is at the front now and if… _if_ …" she started and had to gulp to continue speaking "-if he _dies_ then my future with him dies too."

Lily squeezed Hester's right hand and Vance squeezed her left one "He'll be fine, Hes." Lily said to her firmly "And so will John and Walt, Gilly, Selwyn, Marshall…" she gave a glance towards Vance who smiled bravely at her "They will get through it, I know it."

The girls around her nodded but all cuddled up together on the blanket, their hands interlaced together with their heads bent and touching. All of their eyes were closed and suddenly Hester's voice filled the silence between them, her voice merely a whisper and a sound of the wind touching it softly made it sound like an almost unearthly voice: "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee…".

The girls surrounding her, all of their eyes still closed and hands linked, joined Hester in the prayer and even after it, they stayed like that for a while and they all forgot about the time and their minds were focused on the ones they held dearest to their hearts.

The sunset was slowly disappearing and the night was being born. Hester thought that it was quite funny how the nature remained the same, even though the people inhabiting its peace could so easily destroy its calmness and tranquillity. There was a war on yet the sunset was there each day, and the sunrise and the dawn and brisk and the moon and the sun as well. Yes, all was right with the world, after all, she thought to herself and that small thought made her heart to keep a steady and a calm beat as if for reassurance that everything will truly fall into place one day, on one sunny day.


	16. All Feelings And Emotions

**_Chapter XVI_**

15th August 1942

My dearest sweetheart,

I am alright, of course, don't you worry about me, you dear girl of mine. It melts my heart by just knowing that you indeed worry about me even though you really shouldn't! But it does make me feel very grateful and more peaceful by knowing that you pray for me, dearest, and every night at that! I'll say it again, am I not the luckiest man?

Yes, I did get a letter from Flora quite recently actually… I don't know why she stopped contacting you, it really _is_ strange but when I asked her (in my letter to her) why isn't she speaking with you she simply ignored the question and didn't answer it at all so I really don't know, dear Hester, and I think that we might never truly know the answer. But yes, Flora is New York right now and she is about to start her History course at the New York College. Isn't it strange that she decided not to become a violinist after all? Well, I'm not here to judge so I'll leave the topic of Flora here.

I will warn you right now, dear, it won't be a very long letter because it is quite late in the evening, the lights will be turned off soon and then we will all have to go to sleep to have at least some energy for the next day… A tiring life of a soldier in the dirty trenches for you right here!

I do agree with you, it is a strange thing that Jo came back from Redmond so late, especially because she did finish her degree from English after all. And she's sorrowful you said? That's very strange indeed, from all your stories about Jo I can't really imagine her being sorrowful or anything near it to be quite honest. I don't blame her parents for worrying that something happened while she was in Redmond but the only question is, like you yourself are wondering, what actually happened to cause a frown appearing on her face? It is all interesting I must say. Sometimes by reading your letters I feel like I'm reading a story, you know, Hester? Maybe you should become a writer after all? Just like you told me to become a poet!

It is ever so good that you're keeping yourself busy if not with the orphanage then with the Red Cross or composing or playing your instruments, you are truly incredible my darling. Oh, God, Hester how much would I give to see you right now in this very moment and kiss you straight on the lips and then both of your rosy cheeks twice each?

I'm looking at the photograph you sent me in your last letter. The one with you pulling up your skirts while letting a wave from the ocean touch your bare legs. Your hair is all over the place although I can see that you tried to put it in a braid earlier and you're smiling, laughing I'm sure. Sweetheart, you truly are beautiful and this photograph makes my heart beat with incredible joy because it makes me know that you are still managing to laugh like that.

I know, dear Hester, I know you worry for all of us and now especially Gil and Walt but darling we all, including Walt and Gilly, are fine and we _will_ be no matter what. We fight for peace in the world, to stop this dreadful war and suffering of so many innocent people. We fight for our families and for all our women-folk who stayed behind at home, for our sisters, wives, cousins, friends and _sweethearts_ ; so you see Hester we're all fighting for _you_ and for your happiness so do keep on smiling because it keeps us all going.

I'm very glad you're enjoying listening to "La Traviata" by the great Giuseppe Verdi. It is rather beautiful, is it not? I wish I could listen to it now although I know it all very well myself. It is very hard for me here you know, without singing. Singing for me is like playing the cello for you, it makes you happy and it makes you feel complete and worthy of something but now I can't really do it, not because others wouldn't want me to but simply because I know that I wouldn't be able to give _enough_ from myself to do it correctly. It is rather hard when one is in the trenches surrounded by dirt, mice and the boys singing "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" sometimes in jolly voices and other times in the rather gloomy ones. So I just can't sing, properly I mean, as you can see and that's what hurts me the most over here.

That's what also is happening to your Selwyn I think, with writing poetry. I really wish for both of us and your cousin John to meet because they are in France too, I remember from your letters. We're to be transported to near La Havre tomorrow and I heard that Selwyn and John are already near there too so it's possible that we'll meet, hopefully at least.

There, I have to go now, my darling. Remember that I love you and that I'm thinking about you every single day. Smile as much as you can and pray for all us still, to keep us all going in the fight for peace.

Always yours,

Seb

* * *

Hester woke up feeling cold even though it was the end of August and outside the window was a perfectly blue sky with a cloudless facade and a sun shining right through it. She was breathing heavily as if awoken from a nightmare even though she didn't dream that night at all.

She was sitting on her bed, her hand on her chest and she was looking all around her room, thinking: "Something happened.". She got out of her bed so quickly she almost fell on the floor. She ran downstairs to see her parents, who were in their nightgowns too, sitting right next to the telephone, Ken having a receiver right next to his ear and Rilla standing next to him, listening.

Both of their faces were pale and very focused, so focused and worried that they didn't see Hester coming into the living room. "Oh, my God, _what_ happened?" she gasped, her hand on her chest again and her legs almost giving away.

Rilla heard her and immediately left Ken and put her arms around the only child of hers who she could be sure of to be safe and sound. "Dieppe, my darling." she whispered and Hester felt how soft tears were running down from her mother's cheeks onto her own.

* * *

It was a very restless day for Hester and her family. They were all awaiting the news from their boys and whether they were indeed in the Dieppe raid or not and if they were then they all needed an information regarding their safety, _right now_.

Selwyn and John were both near Dieppe and so their family was positive that those two handsome boys of their own were playing a part of that bloody raid from the day before. Walt and Gilly were still regarded "wounded and missing" so it was hardly possible that they played any part in it themselves, especially Gilly who was a member of the RAF. That left Marshall out of danger in that raid too. But then there was also Hester's own sweetheart who a week earlier wrote to her that he would be transported to the north of France, and therefore near Dieppe, which meant that he too, like Selwyn and John, might have been involved in this battle.

The whole family of Blythes, Merediths, Fords and also Douglases gathered together in the old and cosy Ingleside awaiting any sign of life from any of their boys at the front. Phillip came to Glen two days earlier and he was also there for Hester and her family, sitting in the Ingleside's living room with an arm around her shoulders and his other arm around Lily's, all of them silent while the war news was quietly coming out of the radio nearby.

"Cornelia was _furious_ that she didn't start her nurse-training earlier in order to be there for our boys at the front today." Mary Vance said to her companions while playing with the hem of her dress nervously.

Una put a calm hand on Mary's arm to stop her from doing it and Mary looked up into her eyes and they both shared a knowing yet faint smile "I can imagine she was rather hoping she'd be there today, Mary." Una said kindly "Don't worry about her though, she is a responsible girl and she'll be fine. You know that I can see you worry about her."

Mary's eyes suddenly filled with tears but she pushed them away "It's silly that I should worry so much about her, she's not going to fight like her brother after all." she said nervously still "I suppose it's just that today I said farewells to my second child and only one is left safe and sound at my house." she glanced at her right to see Vance talking quietly to Marion and Hester, all of them sitting cuddled up together on the couch with Lily and Phillip.

The women around her turned around and looked at Vance and their own children and suddenly a twinkle appeared in all of their eyes, even if it was just for a moment. "Mary, I only have my Hester left too." Rilla said to her friend and squeezed her hand gently "I sometimes think that she should have applied to the Toronto Philharmony but most of the times I am _so_ very grateful that she's going to be here with us instead." she smiled through tears at her youngest baby being not a small chubby baby she had in her mind in that moment, sitting on the sofa with her grown-up friends.

They all smiled at Rilla and Faith put her arm around her waist gently "I think we're all very grateful that not all of our children are going off somewhere be it the war or even to the university." she glanced at her two daughters so much not alike in personality or looks yet both just as beautiful and just as passionate souls talking to their friends near her. She looked at Lily who was, after all, going to go back to Redmond in a week's time to finish her Law degree and even though she was very proud of her and her ambitions it hurt her heart to let her go so far away from home.

"I'm so lucky that both of my children are still in the safety of their home." Di shook her head, thinking "I do pray for all of your children, my darlings, and I know that they will all be fine." she smiled at her sisters for all of them were exactly that to her, even if not by blood.

"I pray for them too, my dear friends." Emma Blythe added and smiled at all of her own sisters, who were Di's sisters too.

They all linked their hands together, thinking the same thoughts in their minds. Before anyone could say another word, Will sprang swiftly to the window and shouted out in almost a shriek which could be either or all in one ecstatic, excited or nervous "The postman is coming! The postman is coming!".

Everyone gasped as one and suddenly Anne Blythe rose from her chair next to Rosemary Meredith and opened the door to her house, her face white and blank "Hello, Jimmy." she greeted the postman who knew her and her family for twenty odd years.

He smiled radiantly at her, his brown straight hair falling onto his forehead and put out a few envelopes from his bag into Anne's stretched out, expectant hand "There you go, Mrs Blythe. I knew that all of your folks are going to be here today so I brought the telegrams for the Fords and Merediths here as well." he assured her with a nod and went away.

Anne quickly closed the door and hurried to the living room sorting out the envelopes "There's one for you, Rilla." she handed a telegram to her youngest daughter who grasped it as if her life depended on it and before she knew it, her husband and her daughter were by her side looking over her shoulder as she cried out in joy and delight mixed together.

"Oh!" she cried out "Selwyn came out of Dieppe without a scratch! He did it, my _baby_ boy!" and she simply melted in her own tears while Ken put her into an embrace, tears coming down his own cheeks.

Hester felt how her lips were forming into a tremendous smile and how her own cheeks were much more wet than they have been in weeks and she also hugged her parents tightly, feeling as if her mind could finally take a break from worrying, at least for a little while. "I knew he would!" she whispered as if to herself while she and her parents stood by themselves eventually.

"John only has a few bruises!" Nan and Jo cried out together and they too were embraced by their husband and father known as Jerry.

"There's one for you, Hester." Anne put a small envelope into Hester's own hands and she trembled once more, her eyes fixed on the piece of paper in her white hands "Go on, sweetheart, open it." she encouraged her granddaughter with a tender smile which could only be achieved by Anne Blythe.

Hester obediently opened it and only briefly heard that her grandma also had one more envelope reserved for Mr and Mrs Ford as well. Hester put a hand on her chest and breathed a sigh of relief, her cheeks turning very red all of a sudden "Oh, my Seb is alright! He came through with only a scratch on his leg!" she said and felt like crying with joy all over again.

Phillip, who was standing by Hester with Lily, Marion and Vance, tightened a bit but smiled radiantly at Hester who was a picture of relief and joy. The whole room was chatting together until another sound, produced by both Rilla and Ken surprised them all and the room fell silent again.

Rilla had a hand on her mouth, tears rivering down her cheeks and so Ken knew that it was up to him to announce the news, his own voice trembling and his cheeks turning pink all over again "Our Gilly is found!" he cried out merrily as Rilla was already kissing his cheeks and then Hester's own "He is at the hospital in Netherlands and is going to be just fine!" he kissed Rilla straight on the lips and the whole room started to cheer and clap as if they've all just seen another performance of Hester's instead.

Hester was in utter shock by then and at first she was looking at her parents blankly before shouting out in great happiness: "Thank _God_!". She then started to kiss everyone in the room around her. When she finally got to kiss everyone from her Group, flushed Phillip included, she clung to Lily and Marion and smiled at them brightly "See?" she said merrily "Walt will be found soon too!"

Lily, her cheeks wet but smiling nevertheless replied "Yes, he will be, Hes, he will be! You're right!" as she kissed Hester's cheeks and squeezed Marion's hand tigthly.

"He will." Marion echoed quietly, her own eyes shining with hope and faith.

All the girls, Ada included, embraced one another and Hester stuck her head out and her hand met Phillip's. She pulled him into their tight and jolly embrace as he laughed out happily with her.

It was a day and an evening none of the people in the living room of Ingleside would ever forget, it was quite impossible to forget it for it was filled with every bit of emotion ever created by God Himself. Hester would write about that day her diary that night, her head full of happiness and thoughts of nothing but euphoria and hope. She would then close her diary and stay up till one in the morning to start composing another piece for her favourite cello, a blissful piece at that.

Although they all knew that the war was still on, that Walt was still considered "wounded and missing" and that other people in that very moment were suffering, were being killed, wounded, their hearts shattered into pieces by a completely different kind of telegram from the one Hester got on that day, Hester's family rejoiced in the fact that their day was everything but dreadfulness. That was what some wise people call a moment of happiness and it truly was just that.

That is the reason why Hester fell asleep that night with the brightest smile she has had in a very, _very_ long time.


	17. Changes And Hope

**_Chapter XVII_**

17th September 1942

My dearest sis and parents,

I can finally write this letter to you all and explain what in Heaven's name has happened to me during those past few months. I can't imagine how terribly worried you all were and I am very, _very_ sorry about that although it wasn't my fault that I went missing in action after all.

Our plane crashed into some forest in north Germany, I don't even know where exactly. We were meant to bomb on that night but there was evidently something wrong with the engine and because I am no expert on the machinery I won't tell you what went wrong exactly besides once we knew that we were going to crash we didn't talk much about what could have been wrong, you know what I'm saying? Well, anyway, we did crash into the forest and the landing was obviously terrible, fatal really. I thanked God that Marshall was on another plane that night and that he safely returned to our station.

I lost consiousness and when I woke up there was nothing but silence and daylight around me. Well, I _was_ inside the plane still but I could see the light coming from the damaged windows. The men I was on a plane with were all dead. I didn't know them very well but the sight of them (which I won't describe to you in a hundred years) made me cry like a baby.

I couldn't move at first but then I started to feel my feet and fingers again and so I slowly started to move even though I wasn't sure how I would get out of the airplane at all, not even mentioning making my way out and back to the station which was, by God, _very_ far away. Suddenly though, I heard German-speaking soldiers outside, inspecting the plane and I do know that I should have kept quiet but I could _not_ because fury was the only thing I could feel in that moment.

I won't tell you what I shouted to them either, Dad probably laughs now for he most likely can imagine _what_ I called out to them. They heard me, of course, and did everything to get me out of the plane and I thought that that was it, they will shoot me right there and that will be the end. They didn't, though, and instead, once I was outside and my arms were held by two soldiers, I started to toss around. But of course that was a fail already and they knocked me out. When I woke up, I was in their station, in what seemed like a prison.

I shared a cell with a British man called Harry, a jolly fellow, that one. I don't think that after such a long time of sharing one room we have any secrets between each other although we couldn't talk at all while a German officer was there sitting in his chair and watching us while eating his sandwich. No, they didn't do anything to me (or Harry), I promise you. Of course they weren't entirely "nice" and I got several bruises and nosebleeds but those are meaningless, I'm telling you.

Harry and I finally had a plan of escaping, it was a very complicated plan and I will tell you the detailed version of it one day but the most important thing was that we did escape, by digging up a hole, let me tell you that much. It was _not_ easy and it took us the whole night, the only night when we could do that because the officer wasn't there as he was called upon on a "very important situation".

We escaped somehow and we ran to the nearest forest. We didn't know where we were and where we should go. We didn't have anything to eat or drink and that was why I learned from Harry how to hunt and also that drinking water from a river is quite essential to survive. Thank God we escaped during summer and not during a cold winter!

A day or two, I can't remember correctly, before Harry and I were found by the Dutch soliders, Germans patrolling the forest spotted us and started their run after us. They shot Harry in the leg and his shoulder and myself in a leg and an arm, my left one and that's why I can write this letter to you really because my left arm is in a bandage right now, all stitched up as well as my left leg is (which apparently is broken in two places as well).

Both Harry and I lost consciousness and the next thing I remember was waking up in a bed in a very bright and a calm hospital, my bed next to Harry's.

We are both doing fine, we're bruised here and there, we're quite weak still and malnourished as the doctor said but they say that we'll be good to go in a month and a half. I'm in no hurry to go back to the front, _certainly_ not, and I'm going to enjoy staying at this hospital which isn't big at all and seems quite alright. The staff _especially_ is very, _very_ alright.

And now here comes the real news, more important to _me_ news because something happened while my three-weeks-stay at this hospital and that is: I fell in love for the very first and the very last time in my life and I'm _certain_ of it.

Her name is Daria Walczak and she's Polish, her accent sounding very interesting. She speaks English very fluently and we both understand each other even without words. She's a nurse over here and she's quite frankly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen (and once I thought that Camila was the prettiest!). Daria has a short bob of black thick hair (which reminds me of you, Hes, but her hair is straighter than yours), her cheeks are full and always rosy, and her eyes are the best thing about her as they are green, the purest green in the world.

She always smiles and I cannot believe how, not after she told me her story (during the telling me of it she _did_ cry and I did with her). Daria's parents, two uncles and one auntie (her family wasn't as big as ours) all died in the invasion of Poland which started the war, of course. She's from Warsaw, the capital. She said that at the time of invasion she was out of the house buying groceries and her entire house of flats with her family inside was crushed entirely. She went to Poznan, to her only auntie left with her son, her one and only cousin whom she always considered her brother. She stayed there for a bit but when the Germans started to open up ghettos her auntie told her to leave the country at once for she and Daria's cousin were both Jewish and knew that they will soon be in trouble and didn't want Daria to be a part of it. Daria's Catholic and not Jewish like them but of course the Germans wouldn't believe her if she'd tell them otherwise, "I look Jewish." she told me and she does, I know it too.

So she did leave Poland and went to Netherlands where she trained as a nurse and started her work here. She learned that both her auntie and her cousin were to be sent to a concentration camp last March and she haven't heard of them since.

I asked her how is she always smiling and how is she so optimistic, for she is, and simply happy. She smiled at me again and said: "After the invasion I wanted nothing but to die myself, but my auntie told me that I was given a life and that whatever happend in it I should always try to be happy, day by day, and find joy in small things. Not only she was right but I myself came to a conclusion that I will make my parents proud for I know they're watching over me.". She is the most extraordinary person I know. I told her so too and she laughed at me for saying so. She replied to me that I'm silly because everyone in this hospital is extraordinary, not just her.

I know that I don't know her for very long but it didn't take me long to realise that this is the woman whom I want to marry and spend my life with. Apparently she thinks the same way about me for I kissed her today (even though I'm still so hurting that I can't sit up without feeling my body being ripped apart) and she didn't move away.

Mum, remember how you promised me (as I'm your firstborn) to give me your engagement ring once I'll know on whose finger I want to put it on? Well, then, now is the time, I'm as certain of it as of the fact that I'm breathing right now. So please send it to me as soon as possible and I shall ask Daria what she thinks about it as soon as I'll receive it. I do think that she'll say yes.

I shall go to sleep now, Daria is sitting right beside me, re-bandaging my arm and smiling at me and I am smiling at her and so I know that it's almost time to turn off the lights again.

I'll write to you soon,

Your very happy brother and son,

Gilbert (not a Wing Commander today)

* * *

14th October 1942

Dear Diary,

Pfff… What a weekend it was! So much revelations, well two only, but both very important ones. One is a very happy one and the second one… well, it depends how one looks at it. I'll start with the happy one then (and I'll try to forget about the third battle in Matanikau which happened only two days ago).

My dearest Auntie Una is in _love_!

I needed to make a seperate paragraph for that statement because goodness gracious we're all so terribly _over_ happy for her! Especially because she is so happy herself, I don't think I've ever seen her smiling as much as she does now and how her cheeks are so rosy, and I've known her for eighteen years after all.

Let's start from the beginning then. About a month ago, Auntie Una was as usual working in the orphanage. It was already time for her to go back home but while she was leaving the building she accidentally bumped into a visitor, her colleague's (who I know as well) Lisa's, brother who started his work at the office in Four Winds. His entire suitcase exploded with paper and she helped him to gather it all together, apologising kindly. Lisa's brother didn't mind that at all, of course, and before they put all the paper back into his suitcase they couldn't stop talking with each other! _How romantic_! And how _perfect_!

His name is Liam Evans and he is very handsome indeed. We've all met him, last Saturday, as Auntie Una invited him for dinner which she and Grandma Rosemary prepared at the Manse. He has very curly blonde hair, freckles on his nose and cheeks and his eyes are very brown. He looks as if he is thirty years old and he's in fact a year older than Auntie Una which makes him forty seven! He is a businessman and he looks like one too.

Liam is extremely sweet and polite and he truly has a soul very much the same as Auntie Una's but he's more open than her, she said that herself and we noticed that too. They complete each other very much. And they talked and talked the _whole_ dinner and no one dared to distract them because it was as if they were in a sacred bubble of intimacy.

They are officially courting and sweethearting every single day of the week. They make several walks to the Rainbow Valley where Vance, Marion and I see them from time to time as we go there often ourselves after work. ( _Oh_! I forgot to say that I officially have _four_ students of my own and teach them playing the cello, cello again, the violin and the violin again respectively. I also help out in the orphanage as often as I can and meet there with Vance who is an official worker over there, of course. Marion is obviously a professional now, for she's teaching English at our old Glen school for two months almost! How fast this time flies… And I haven't even had time to write it all down before today!).

Coming back to Auntie Una and Liam again.

We're delighted to see Auntie in love. Mum told me, of course, that Auntie sweared that she'd never love again, not after Uncle Walter died in 1916. She did keep this promise to herself for almost _thirty years_! But she did say to Mum (Mother told me after Auntie went home yesterday when they had lunch together) that it was hard for her to decide whether she wants to open her gate to love for someone who isn't Uncle Walter. They both shared a silent moment on the verandah and neither Dad nor I dared to distract them for we knew they were talking about the uncle I never knew but Dad knew too well himself.

But Auntie decided that it is time for her to open up to love especially because "Well, it's _Liam_." as she said to both me and Mum while we were eating cookies yesterday. And we're happy that she did decide that, for it makes _her_ happy and it makes _us_ happy too.

So that's the happy revelation I wanted to share here and now it is time for the one which is quite… I'm not sure what to think about it, nobody in our family seems to know really, especially because we've learnt about it only yesterday!

Jo is going to have a baby.

Another seperate paragraph for it is as important to our family as the fact that Auntie Una's life welcomed in love.

Yes, Jo is pregnant. She found out yesterday for the results of the test she has sent (about which nobody knew) came in and they reassured her of what she suspected anyway and that is that come next February there will be the very first child of the new generation in our family. That is the beauty of the news, the only one, I think. A new baby will be welcomed into our family and it will certainly bring joy, especially in the midst of the war and everything surrounding and concerning it.

The father of Jo's baby is a man called Cal Sutton, a student from Redmond with whom Jo is courting, or was, while she was at Redmond herself. They courted before he enlisted as he is at the front right now, recently arriving there apparently, in Italy.

I don't know all the details about this whole situation for we learned of the fact only through Auntie Nan and Uncle Jerry who attended the family dinner yesterday. Jo didn't come for she was most definitely in "depths of despair" in her own room, thinking and sobbing from time to time, as Auntie Nan said with a very sorrowful expression on her face.

Jo didn't plan anything of that kind (all I'll write in here now is what Auntie Nan and Uncle Jerry told us all yesterday after dinner at Ingleside) and especially because she's not very much in love with Cal, she simply "lived in a moment for he was to be sent overseas and she was afraid she wouldn't see him again". I don't know how to think about it all and neither do Jo's parents. Partially one can understand why she did it but at the same time one can't, not without getting married first… Oh, I _don't know_! Neither of us does!

Auntie Nan was crying yestrday while being embraced by Grandma Anne. She cried because as she said that it's all her fault and that it must be because _she_ raised her daughter. But Grandma, of course, calmed her down and so did all the other Aunties of mine and Mum too. They told her that it's nobody's fault really, only Jo's for she acted foolishly. I agree with that most entirely for Auntie Nan and Uncle Jerry also raised John who is the complete opposite of his sister, in personality at least.

I think that the baby will make Jo more responsibe, more patient and more herself than she really is right now. We all think so really. There's still more to learn about Jo's Cal and what is she actually planning to do now: will she marry him when (if...) he comes back from the war? We don't know that at all.

Grandpa John promised Uncle Jerry and Auntie Nan to talk with his granddaughter and try to calm her down. From all the people I might not be sure about whether Jo trusts and respects, she truly does love Reverend John Meredith and I know he'll help her like he always used to. Even though what Jo did wasn't "religious" at all, he said himself that "she's my granddaughter and everyone makes mistakes, so does she. That's why I'll help her.". Bless his dearest heart!

So we just have to see what will happen but one thing is certain, a new baby will come into our family next year and we will all welcome it with our open arms, like hope itself.

Who will be next to have a baby of their own, from my siblings and cousins, I wonder? It makes me melancholy but excited for the future. Who knows, maybe the next one will be Gilly? He _is_ engaged to Daria after all and even though he says that they plan to have a wedding after the war, we all know that Gil might change his mind about that quickly enough and decide to marry his Daria sooner than that. I _cannot_ wait to meet this girl who entirely and completely stole the heart of my oldest brother!

I shall be going to bed now, it's been a very long weekend and I am going for the Red Cross meeting with Vance tomorrow morning and I still have five hours of teaching afterwards and so I will need a lot of energy for all of that!

It seems to me that the last two months were full of changes which are very much visible in my family and myself. Auntie Una in love, Jo is pregnant and my own brother Gilly is now found and engaged to a "woman of his dreams"! Everything changes around me but I find myself thinking that I actually _don't_ mind it at all. And this too makes me content with my life for now.

Right now I shall be going off to bed and I'll think of Seb. I'll look at his photograph which still stands on my nightstand and I'll think of our future life together which seems very much alive to me right now and it's going to be here soon. I _hope_ it will.

Goodnight then,

Yours,

Hester


	18. A Discovery Of Jo

**_Chapter XVIII_**

"Hester?" Ken stuck out his head from behind his daughter's bedroom's door. He looked directly into Hester's expectant eyes, distracted from her contagious focus of playing her cello, her bow put nervously on her knee.

"Yes, daddy?" she asked while putting her bow on the notes stand carefully, thinking that he had something important to tell her "Did something happen?" her voice sounded slightly alarmed.

"No, no…" he shook his head and came into the room quietly, his voice muted as well "Not exactly... But it's just that a certain _Jo_ Reed nee Meredith is asking whether she could take a walk with you... now." he raised both of his eyebrows at Hester who was his mirror at that moment.

"Jo?" she asked in a shocked surprise "But… why would she want to take a walk with _me_?"

Ken shrugged helplessly "No idea, dearest, but I suppose you'll have to go and see for yourself."

Hester nodded along and when Ken closed the door behind him and went downstairs again, she started to put away her cello, notes and her notes stand very attentively as always but quickly enough. Her mind was quite blank for she had absolutely no idea why Jo would want to take a walk with her and most importantly _talk_ to her, to Hester Ford whom she always disliked and was never afraid to show it either!

Hester put on a yellow jumper on her blouse and grabbed her old beret and a scarf from her wardrobe. While coming downstairs her black braid danced up and down without her realising, she was so deep in thought. She was now in the living room and there truly was no one else but Jo Meredith sitting on the couch between Rilla and Ken. Both of Hester's parents evidently tried their best to talk to her and possibly ask her about what made her come to the House of Dreams so suddenly but Hester could see very clearly that they didn't get any answer from the stubborn Jo.

Jo's face lit up slightly as she saw her cousin appearing in the room and she stood up abruptly but with no shadow of a grin on her face "Hello, Hester." she said casually although her voice sounded differently to what Hester was accustomed to.

"Hello, Jo." she replied politely, smiling kindly at her older cousin with interest in her eyes "I heard you wanted me to…" she started but Jo interrupted her quickly.

"Will you? Please?" she gave her an expectant look, almost a glare Hester thought.

"I will." Hester said, matching Jo's firm tone all of a sudden "Shall we go, then?" she waved at the door and Jo turned to the door wordlessly, walking down the stairs of the verandah and clearly waiting for Hester to follow her.

Hester glanced at her parents who raised their eyebrows once again and shrugged in the perfect unison "I'll wait with dinner for you, darling." Rilla assured her daughter with a gentle smile.

"Thank you, mum." Hester smiled back at her and reached for the doorknob "Wish me luck." she said quietly enough so that Jo couldn't hear her and so Hester came out of the house, catching up to Jo who was already walking on the lane leading to the old Lighthouse.

Jo most definitely looked different on that day. She usually dressed in the highest and newest of fashion possible and even with rationing she would always find a way of either trading or sewing her own clothes to match those she'd find in the magazines. She always used to wear a lot of make-up and the brightest red lipstick Hester and all of the members of her Group had ever seen anyone wearing. Jo's hair was always put into rolls and pinned up, just like she'd seen Vivian Leigh doing. High heels were as necessary as hair on Jo's head, but that's needless to mention.

But on that day all of her usual standards were changed into the quite contrary ones which surprised Hester immensely. Jo looked… normal. She wore a plain blue dress she could have bought seven years earlier, her brown hair was plainly lying down on her shoulders under the old grey hat, the coat she wore belonged to her mother and so which Nan must have bought around ten years before, and because it was opened it revealed Jo's not-so-flat-now stomach. Jo's brown eyes were very different to the ones Hester always remembered as well. She looked simply miserable and her eyes were a definition of that word exactly.

"Are you alright, Jo?" Hester asked her softly, both of them already walking together in silence for a few moments.

Jo turned her face to Hester, looked down at her for she was several inches taller than her, and gulped loudly "Of course I'm not alright." she breathed out heatedly but this time Hester wasn't sure whether Jo was angry at her or at her own self "I will _never_ be again!" she clasped her hands together and started rubbing them against each other nervously.

Hester looked up at her cousin and hesitantly decided to touch Jo's hands and put them gently into her own "Jo, please tell me what you wanted to talk to me about? And just tell me… everything. Please." she said softly and when Jo looked down at Hester once more her eyes were as kind as never before that day, which made Hester's heart jump a little.

Jo nodded "Yes, of course." she said more calmly and then withdrew her hands awkwardly from Hester's "Well," she looked at the lane in front of her and then back at her companion "-I wanted to speak to you because you see, Hester, you are the only person who is on neither sides of my situation and who is just the kindest person I know." she smiled gently at Hester who frowned a little despite herself.

"Jo, you never even… _liked_ me." she said in confusion.

Jo looked into Hester's eyes for a moment and then sighed deeply. Now it was her turn to take Hester's hands in her own and give them a light squeeze "I…" she started and then sighed again before meeting her eyes "No, you're right of course. I never liked you… But it was only because you are just so _perfect_ , Hester, just such a _perfect_ person!" she let go of her hands once more and her eyes turned wet all of a sudden. Hester watched her as if she was witnessing a true revelation of her life which Jo Reed truly was, as always.

"I'm not a perfect…" Hester started.

"Yes, you _are_ , that's my point!" Jo exclaimed suddenly before settling herself down with another deep sigh "You are kind, talented as hell, sweet, polite, extremely smart, you're your parents' pride…" a few tears started to roll down Jo's cheeks and that was when Hester stopped both of them from walking and now stood in front of Jo, squeezing her shoulders gently so that Jo would look in her eyes again.

"Jo, your parents love you." she assured her softly.

"They say that they do but I see a different feeling in their eyes whenever I stand up and my belly becomes visible to them again." she said hopelessly, her hand on her rounded stomach at which Hester looked down for a moment too "They are _disgusted_ with me, everyone is."

"That's not true at all, Jo." Hester said calmly, looking straight into her cousin's eyes "It's not like that at all. Of course, you did your mistakes, everyone did and does and will do. Myself included." she grinned slightly at Jo's wet face "But, dear, please don't think that your parents or your family don't love you because you're going to have a baby outside of marriage. That's simply not possible."

"How do you know that?" Jo asked her suddenly.

"Jo, don't _you_ know that?" Hester asked without hesitation "Deep down in your heart?" she put her hand above Jo's left breast where her heart surely was for it was beating fastly when Hester put her hand on it.

Jo looked down into Hester's eyes once more, biting her upper lip and then nodded slowly "I… I think… Maybe?" she said.

Hester chuckled softly "They do love you, we all do. _I_ do." she said surely and squeezed her hands in her own "Your parents aren't arguing with you anymore, are they?" she asked her kindly.

Jo shook her head "No, we all just accepted the fact that in February my bump will be gone and something will come out of it instead." she said and when Hester started to chuckle again, Jo joined her "We did quarrel. They couldn't understand why I did it in the first place, without marrying first but it's ridiculous because they _do_ know why." she said decidedly.

"They do?" Hester asked, surprised.

"Of course!" Jo said as if it was obvious "I always lived in a moment! Didn't I refuse Marshall's proposal even though I thought he was the one for me? Of course, he _wasn't_ , now I know but still it was something the whole Glen and Four Winds were talking about for a whole month!" she chuckled quietly at that "Didn't I marry Hawk? Even though I didn't really love him?" she shrugged and then sighed "Well, I _did_ love him but just not enough to marry him. I did marry him because it gave me and him comfort when he was going off to the front."

"I think that if my Seb were to ask me to marry him before he'd be going to the front I would have said 'yes' too." Hester said absent-mindedly before she realised that she said that aloud and she blushed heavily but smiled at Jo to continue.

Jo smiled back at her cousin and Hester just then realised how beautiful she truly was, without all of her makeup and high heels, and also how similar in expressions Jo's face was to her own mother's face "Yes, many people do that." she continued "I _was_ sad that he died. I think that if he survived… we would be happy together, _maybe_." she said, her eyes turning a bit gloomy but then she shrugged the feeling off and grinned at Hester again "But then Cal came along and he was _so_ adventurous and poetic at the same time and quite frankly all I ever wanted in a man." her eyes spoke dreams and liveliness until she was brought down to earth again and her smile weakened "And when he was going off to war and we both didn't want to marry yet, well…" she shrugged again "We lived in a moment."

"'Carpe diem' so they say." Hester added, nodding along although her cheeks were turning slightly pink.

"Yes, yes." Jo agreed "I know it was wrong. I knew that it was wrong as soon as the day after and so the day when Cal was on a ship to England." she patted her stomach tenderly "A day after I told my parents and we talked about it all again, they told me that they still _do_ love me after all I've done and…" all of a sudden tears started to roll down her cheeks again like small waterfalls and Hester embraced her tightly.

"Didn't I tell you that, Jo?" she asked her softly, her lips in a dent of Jo's shoulder.

"Yes, you did." she weeped into Hester's hair "I just don't know how is that possible that they still really love me."

"They do because you're their daughter and they're your parents." Hester whispered and then pulled away, looking into Jo's eyes again "I'm pretty sure you'll know what it means for yourself in a couple of months." she smiled gently at her and then caressed Jo's stomach gingerly.

Jo looked down at her bump and smiled herself "Yes, I suppose I will know what it means pretty soon." she agreed.

"Are you better now?" Hester asked her caringly.

"Yes, thank you." Jo replied nicely "Hester?"

"Yes, Jo?" she asked, her eyebrow raised questioningly "What is it?"

"The reason I came today, apart from this whole scene." she waved her hand and both she and Hester laughed "Is because I wanted to apologise for everything unkind I did you. I didn't mean it. Well, I _did_ but I don't now." she nodded to reassure Hester of that "I'm a different person now. I _have_ to be." she patted her own stomach gently "Will you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive." Hester said with a smile.

Jo's face lit up immediately and she kissed Hester's cheek "You're the kindest!" she whispered joyfully "Will you… Do you want to be my friend after all?" she asked sheepishly.

"I think that I already am, Jo." Hester smiled at her cousin sweetly "And I do want to be."

"Thank you." Jo whispered gently and then grinned while wiping her tears off from her cheeks "I just wanted to explain something more."

"Yes?" Hester asked curiously.

"The reason why I was so cold towards you is that I just envied you." Jo said sorrowfully "You didn't have to do anything for other people to like you and I always had to do something unusual to gain other's sympathy towards me... That is the reason."

Hester looked into Jo's eyes for a longer moment and then grinned wholeheartedly "It doesn't take a lot for the right people to like you, Jo." she said gently "And _I_ like you a lot, now."

Jo smiled gratefully at her new and very first true friend and took her hand in her own, resuming their walk "I like you even more, Hester Ford." she said to her kindly and then looked at the lane again.

"What is it?" Hester encouraged her and Jo looked at her again.

"There's one more thing." she said finally.

"Yes?" Hester asked, the corner of her lip curving up.

"I am engaged to Cal now." Jo announced rather dryly.

"Why, Jo?" Hester asked her in surprise "You said that you didn't love him enough to marry him!"

"I don't know if I don't." she said honestly "I will know once he comes back from the front. Besides, Hester, I _need_ to marry him for the baby's sake if not for our family's." she put her hand protectively over her round stomach.

Hester touched it too and then looked up to Jo again "Jo, nobody from our family takes notice of what other people say." Hester said decidedly although she did hear other women in town talking about "the Reverend's granddaughter's scandal" one day, but Hester knew that John Meredith did love his granddaughter as much as he did the day she was born and so she simply ignored the two women talking on that day.

"That's what is right, Hester." Jo said firmly "It is, you and I know that well enough and I decided. Not only did I change but I also _decided_ to finally start doing things that are right. Something what I always should have been doing anyway." she said with a hint of regret in her voice.

"It's wonderful that you changed for the better." Hester touched her arm gently "It's something the world should do itself if not more. And if you truly are certain about engagement to Cal then that's how it will be."

"We both decided that it is right and... Cal is even excited about it." Jo's eyes danced merrily for a second and Hester smiled at the sight of Jo's dark eyes twinkling even if just for a moment "So yes, I am engaged to Cal Sutton."

"Congratulations then, Jo." Hester said joyfully.

"Thanks." she replied with a faint smile and then put her arm into Hester's "Today's been one of the best days for me since forever, you know that, Hester?" she asked her companion softly.

Hester looked up into Jo's eyes and all she could see was something she always wanted to see there and that was truth and kindness. Hester's heart filled with an enormous amount of joy and so she squeezed Jo's hand once again and smiled radiantly at her "I know, Jo. It was the same for me." she said "And there are many more to come."


	19. Magic of December 1942

**_Chapter XIX_**

It was magical.

Christmas of the year 1942 was certainly the one Hester and her family would remember till the day they die and beyond that too. The war was still on of course, Gil (who returned to the front at the end of November), Marshall, Selwyn, John, Walt, Bruce and Seb were still in danger and participating in the concept of the war and pain but the events which led up to Christmas that year, especially the last three days before Christmas Day, were truly magical and they were most definitely miracles.

The day before Hester's family was about to take all their suitcases, presents and other meaningful belongings of theirs and take on a journey to the old but beautiful Avonlea, Una took a walk through the Rainbow Valley, full in its snowy glory, with her sweetheart Liam and little did she know at the time that once she'd get back home an hour later, she would wear a shining diamond ring on her hand, her cheeks flushed with fiery colour and her eyes twinkling; she would look exactly like she did twenty years earlier. Hester wrote down in her diary that evening that she'd "never in the world forget the look of pure and deserved happiness" on her auntie's face like the one she had on that day of her engagement. Everyone simply couldn't express their congratulations enough to both Una and Liam.

Then, exactly the day after, Faith and Jem got a 'phone call which was arranged by the nurse Cornelia Douglas who with a breaking voice said that her very own fiance and their oldest child, Walt, was found and now she is doing her duty by nursing him back to health from his broken leg, ribs and a few bruises here and there. It was a very moving moment for Faith quite literally collapsed into her husband's arms and both of them cried with relief together. Lily, with tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her lips ran out of the house and put up a flag proudly and thankfully with trembling from joy Marion at her side whose shoulders were embraced by both Hester's and Vance's arms. Smiles didn't fail them at all on that evening.

Then it was finally the awaited Christmas Eve and nobody could help not smiling or talking with one another of how lucky and grateful they all were for the safe coming back from the land of "wounded and missing" of Gil's and Walt's. They all felt thankful and merry about Gil's engagement as well as Una's engagement and they all regained hope in the new year of 1943 coming slowly but surely into their lives.

Hester had one more reason to feel blessed because during Christmas Eve and their dinner, her Group gained its new member of a name Jo who since her friendship with the black-haired Hester started changing into a completely new and a better person. One thing that hasn't changed about Jo though was the fact that she still did _everything_ to look as fashionable as possible, but that was a good thing especially because it wasn't only herself who cared a little about that, it was also the brought-up-in-Toronto miss Hester and the queen of sewing Lily.

Jo, now quite heavily pregnant, glowed in the beauty of her being a mother-to-be and was crying with joy over the gifts for _her own_ baby (the fact in which she still couldn't quite believe) she got from her family. Apart from the knitted clothes, small toys or children's books, there was one particular present over which she was speechless and tears were stuck in her eyes for at least ten minutes straight.

It was a family cot she received from her grandma Anne and grandpa Gilbert which brought tears not only to Jo's but to everyone else's eyes as well. The ancient cot both Mr and Mrs Blythe used for all of their own children and which was later used by Rilla to raise her little Jims who, after all, was not so little anymore. Jo kissed both of her grandparents dearly and thanked them from the bottom of her heart while Hester put her own hand very gingerly on the cot's wooden frame and caressed it with a shine of her own reflected in her eyes and a soft smile appearing on her thin red lips.

That day was glorious. Everyone sang together, even Leslie and Owen Ford did a special recital for their family which positively surprised everyone; Hester along with Lily, Ada and little Delia sang "Winter Wonderland" together and they all danced, every single one of the people spending that Christmas together in the Green Gables' living room danced with one another.

Now it was the last day of the year of 1942, another year which Hester would never forget for it did change her life. Her sweetheart went off to the front, her brother and her cousin went missing and then were happily found, her brother became engaged, she finished school and started working as a private music teacher as well as a help in the orphanage, she became bosom friends with Jo and so the very last person she thought she could ever even talk to on friendly terms, and these were only some of the things that were memorable from that passing year of her life.

Hester was now walking to the mysterious yet magnificent Hester Gray's garden, her very own namesake's garden which she always loved dearly. She knew that her Group was already there, waiting for her to come with the freshly baked cookies by their auntie Una who insisted on taking them for their small picnic in the snowy garden of Hester Gray's.

Hester wasn't in a hurry, she wanted to take it all in so she could see and later write it all down to her brothers, especially to Selwyn, and remind them of the beauty of the world which was, surprisingly to some, still there. She put her hand instinctually on the pocket of her trousers and could feel the paper beneath it, the faded letters once written by the hand of Hester's uncle Walter which she carried around with her everyday _and_ everywhere.

Around her neck was the cello necklace she wore every day as well, a gift from Phillip for her seventeenth birthday. That was the second thing she touched instinctually and smiled at the thought of her handsome friend being safe and sound at his home in New York, studying hard to become a lawyer.

But there was a new addition to her jewellery and that was the Christmas gift she got from her very own sweetheart, Seb. He asked his mother to send a shiny, gold bracelet with a tiny diamond securely attached in the middle of it, straight to him so that he could add his letter to the package and send it back to Canada, to Hester, for her to have it forever with her and to remind her of him. Of course, she would never wish for a greater gift from her sweetheart at the front. She felt very much appreciated to have Seb who made such an effort to arrange it all for her, and now the bracelet rested around her right wrist with no intentions of it coming off any time soon.

She blushed as she looked down at it, while walking alongside the valley of snow leading up to her destination and her friends. Seb didn't say anything of _that_ sort in his letter attached to the bracelet but Hester's imagination got the better of her, as well as her hopes. She considered the bracelet with a certain diamond in the middle of it to be her and Seb's promise of the future they were meant to spend together. It was her own sweet secret and a wish of which only the people who knew her could think she's made.

"Hey ho, Hes!" Lily cheered aloud when Hester came into their sight, all flushed, smiling and smelling of fresh cookies she carried in her arms.

Everyone cheered as well and Hester laughed while setting the bowl in the middle of their circle. She sat between Vance and Ada with her usual grace of a cello-player and felt satisfied with her life for once "How are you all? Aren't you cold by sitting here?" she asked them with a grin.

"Well, I _was_ a bit cold and so was Lily," Will chuckled and hugged his knees "-but we raced each other for a bit and now we're both fine, aren't we, Lil?" he asked his cousin who playfully punched his arm and laughed as well.

"Aye, aye, captain!" she said merrily and all of the young people surrounding her laughed with her too "Hes, is Jo going to stay up till midnight today then? Did she tell you?" she asked her black-haired friend who reached out for a cookie from the plate at the same time as David did from her opposite side and they smiled at each other knowingly.

"She said: " _Of course_ , I'm staying"." Hester grinned thinking of the tone in which Jo said that, as if she wasn't to become a mother in less than two months and that she wasn't tired at all, even though dark circles were clearly visible underneath her eyes "And you know Jo, when she makes up her mind on something, she'll do it, no matter what."

"Well, we don't know Jo as much as you do now, Hester." Ada pointed out with her kind smile "But I suppose that she is just like that."

"I wonder if she's having a girl or a boy." Marion said suddenly, her voice dreamy.

"I think it's a boy." Will said decidedly.

"I do as well." David agreed.

"You boys are such... _men_!" Lily exclaimed and everyone laughed at her statement " _I_ think it's a girl. I'm sure of it." she said while taking another bite of her cookie.

"I think it's a girl too." Marion and Vance said in unison and both smiled at each other timidly.

Hester smiled at them as well but then she shrugged "I think that the most important thing is that the baby will be healthy and that Jo will be too." she said wisely everyone nodded along at her answer.

"Well, of course, we all hope for that too." Lily said and then she jumped up from her seat suddenly "Jolly God, it's _cold_! Let's go and take a walk! I'll carry the cookies!" she laughed and reached for the plate but was stopped by Will who reached out for the plate as well.

"I will do it, Lil." he said decidedly "I'm a _man_ , after all, as you said yourself." he winked at her and she hit his head with a snowball.

"Cheeky, little man! That's exactly what you are, _Matthew_ William Blythe!" Lily said and everyone fell into a sudden wave of laughter overcoming them like a tidal wave. Echoes of their laughter wandered off through the entire garden and it was as if the ghosts of the people who once crossed the same paths Hester and her Group were crossing in that moment could hear them laughing too. Their presence was almost reachable, Hester thought to herself, as they all now walked together through the snowy kingdom.

"We got a telegram from Gil in the morning." Hester said.

"Oh, Hester, why didn't you say anything sooner?" Vance said merrily, her arm in the arm of Hester's and Ada's. Vance always waited for Hester's news of her oldest brother for he was in the same regiment as her own brother, Marshall, was.

"I don't know really but I'll tell you now anyway." she replied just as joyfully "Gilly met auntie Persis' and uncle Carl's son, Tom, who is also a Wing Commander but for the British army, of course, as you all know, and they along with Marshall," she smiled knowingly at Vance "-spent the whole Christmas together."

"Oh, how lovely!" Ada said cheerfully.

"I am very happy they all met too." Hester agreed "At least they were all with a part of their family for Christmas and that's the most important part of it, isn't it?" she looked at each of her cousins' and friends' faces and they all smiled at each other. Hester was noticing the links they all shared in one another's faces, even in Vance's own who wasn't connected with them by blood but even a connection by soul was just as important as that one by blood.

"Very true." David said kindly to Hester who smiled back at him.

"I can't believe that this year is almost over!" Lily said suddenly with all the energy sitting inside of her "It went so fast…"

"Did it though?" Ada asked her doubtfully "When I think of June and so when I wrote my last exam and when I think of this day when I'm almost halfway through my first year of mathematics at Redmond I think that it went _extremely_ slowly."

"Well, it all depends on your own perspective, doesn't it?" Lily agreed "But it is a bit sad to think that another year is over."

"I think that it's a cheerful event." Hester argued "I am actually really looking forward to the next year, even though I'm still terribly scared of what it might bring." she shivered suddenly and she could almost swear that the people around her did too.

"I agree, Hester." Marion added after a moment of silence "But we should all think of the happy things that could happen next year and also of the ones that definitely _will_ , like Jo's new arrival." she smiled at the thought.

"Oh, I _can't_ wait to kiss Jo's baby's cheeks!" Lily chuckled and so did the others around her.

"Neither can I." Hester agreed joyfully "It's the beginning of a new life, isn't it? The _new_ genaration in our family!" she said wonderingly.

"I wonder who will be next?" Will said all of a sudden "To become a parent, I mean?"

"Maybe it will be your Gil, Hes?" Lily suggested with a grin "He _is_ engaged after all."

"He is…" Hester admitted and then raised her eyebrows in a dawn of realisation "I still can't quite believe it though! Not until I'll see him and Daria standing next to each other while holding one another's hands."

Everyone smiled at her then "It is hard to believe, isn't it?" Lily said "Gil is just so…"

"Not grown-up?" Hester suggested and her friends laughed jubilantly "Yes, he _was_. I think that now he is, after all, more grown-up. I only hope that he's not entirely so." her eyes got a bit watery and Vance's hand squeezed Hester's in their silent conversation and both looked at each other both meaningfully and knowingly.

"Of course, he's not." Ada said decidedly "I don't think any _one_ of us will ever be!" and she threw a fresh snowball straight into Hester's flushed face. Hester laughed and everyone else spread around the entire garden and so the biggest and the most eventful snow fight of the Hester Gray's garden had begun. Just like that, for the first time in a while, Hester did feel as carefree as she did when she was only ten years old and God, how _incredible_ that feeling was!


	20. A Question And An Answer Of Love

**_Chapter XX_**

21st January 1943

Dear Diary,

Seb is at the hospital in France. He was wounded: shot in the leg. He wrote that he's fine and will be sent back to the front in a matter of a month. Gilly is at the hospital in Netherlands again. He was wounded too: his plane had a hard landing and his arm was crushed painfully and as a result, he bled heavily and lost consciousness for a whole day.

Therefore this is why I am feeling so blank right now. I feel almost lifeless today, I must say. I know, I _know_ that Seb will be fine, he is after all conscious and his leg is already put up together and all of his bones are in order and fine. I _know_ he is alright and will be. I also know that Gilly will be fine too, after all, he woke up yesterday from his temporary coma just to see Daria (who sent us the telegram about him and his well-being, _thank the Lord for her_!) taking care of him with all her power, I'm sure. She wrote in the telegram: "Not to worry, I'm here for our Gilbert" and I am so… _so_ … _thankful_ for her that I am crying _again_!

I feel like everything is slowly crumbling into pieces… I know that it's probably just my imagination, that there's a war on, that Gilly has been wounded again and fought for his life just yesterday, that Seb was nearer death than ever before in his life and that there's also so much war news… I think my head will sooner or later explode with all the things we hear about the Jews from the Warsaw's ghetto rising up for their rights, or the bombings or… _Everything_! I am _fed up with this war_ : that's what it is!

I am waiting, waiting, _waiting_ and _nothing_ comes out of it! Only pain and heartbreak and this constant possibility and worry of all the terrible and harrowing things that could and are happening to everyone I love so dearly with all the power contained in my heart!

But... it's not just that, there's something else too… Oh, I don't know if I want to write it down, it feels like everything I write down be it in my head or a bit imaginary will become real once I write it down and it alarms me incredibly. But I _will_ write it down, I am keeping this diary for a reason and the reason is for me to one day look back at it and then laugh at my silly imaginings and things I said or did. So I will write it down. Now.

I think that Seb doesn't have any more feelings towards me.

It hurts my heart to think so but I think that it is the truth. Oh, darn you, you horrible tears which are rolling down my cheeks like rivers! I _never_ swear, I never do but oh, today is just the most terrible day of _all_!

I noticed about a month earlier that Seb doesn't write those beautiful and poetic letters to me anymore and also that he gradually stopped discussing our potential future together. I understand that he _is_ in the army and that he _is_ fighting in the trenches and that, of course, he doesn't have the time to write long, love-letters while fighting at the front but he _did_ write them somehow and that was only three months ago!

I'm not going to write to him and ask him why did he stop, no, I definitely won't do that. I already asked Mum to give me advice on what to do and she told me to just wait and see, especially because now he's at the hospital and will be able to write a longer letter after all. She also said that if my suspicion is correct (which both she and I think isn't — it _can't_ be!) then he doesn't deserve me at all. Dad nodded along to that and added that he will gladly "speak" with him if my suspicion is truly correct.

I constantly think of what could I possibly have done wrong? This leads on to other questions: Did Seb _ever_ really loved me? Did he mean anything he told or said to me? And the worst of all: Did he fall in love with _someone else_ and I simply don't know about it? My heart is beating furiously at the very thought. God, I'm _so_ glad that I still have two hours of cello lessons with my sweet eight-year-old student Cara so that I can take my mind off everything else. I also plan on composing a bit in the evening and for this I am _always_ ready.

I do have to stop worrying about Seb's feelings, I know. After all, everything happens for a reason and if he really… _really_ … doesn't love me anymore then it will just prove that we weren't meant to be… together. Darn it, why are my eyes able to produce so many tears all at once? Enough, enough, Hester Leslie Ford! You are _only_ eighteen and a half years old! You have your whole life ahead of you and if Seb isn't in your future then someone more important will be! No, no, I can't think like that either, I _do_ want Seb to be in my future, I see him so clearly in it… Especially when I'm looking at his photograph which stands on my night-stand right in this moment… How handsome he is, and talented!

 _Stop it, Hester_! You foolish girl!

Oh, thank God, I have to start getting ready for my music lesson now. I have to change into this new dress of mine which Auntie Una miraculously sewed for me from her older dress and styled it in one of the patterns from the newest magazines! This new/old dress is a beautiful lilac colour which I really love but Seb never liked that much… Hester. Stop.

Oh!

With all the fuss about Seb and the news of his and Gilly's being wounded, I completely forgot to write in here about a very important and happy news as well! It _did_ happen three days ago and so that's why I was concerned with other things that happened more recently, all concerning _me_ , of course, for I _am_ really selfish from time to time, which really annoys me!

Walt has recovered from his wounds very quickly because they weren't very severe (thank God for that!) and he is now on his way back to the front. However, a day before he did go on that train to take him back to the front, a telegram came announcing that Walt and Cornelia got married. Everyone is so very happy for them, _I_ am too. I truly am although it is hard to think of them happily married, beginning their life together while I myself am having doubts about my own sweetheart and I'm asking myself a question whether I still have a sweetheart of my own...

But there, this is where I shall finish for today and now I really do have to go and start preparing for the lesson.

I know that this stress will calm itself down tomorrow, I'm just having a bad day today. It is quite spine-chilling, though, to have a bad and disheartening day when so much pain is happening around the world as well...

Tomorrow will be better. It usually is anyway.

Yours,

Hester

* * *

Tomorrow was a much better day for Hester, especially because it was Saturday and that meant Hester's day free of work. She usually spent that day simply knitting in the evening and preparing lessons for another week for her six young students.

The brisk sun woke her up but she didn't mind, she welcomed it with her open arms almost, as if it was a bearer of joy and happiness. It was quite early still, half past six only but Hester really didn't mind. She felt like an entirely new person on that day, fresh and ready for everything. She took her time with brushing her hair which was now cut to the shoulder-length and shone in the daylight. Her skin contrasted with her hair, as always, for it had its usual porcelain touch.

Hester hummed one of the pieces she composed herself a few months back and her eyes were closed, transfixed in her own world, the world of music and imagination which she loved as dearly as if it was another person, her own friend. She was very dreamy although still aware of the world around her. She was smiling and looked like a picture taken a long time ago, in the time when cameras of any kind haven't been even invented yet. In the time when Jean Raoux was working hard on his paintings which had such incredible lightening that it could easily blind its admirers by its beauty.

She then took her time and dressed in one of her favourite blouses which was once worn by her own mother, in the time of another war. A slightly faded white with a flower pattern making its appearance around the neckline and around the flowing sleeves. She put on her casual grey trousers and looked truly more mature than what her age spoke. In Hester's case, it was her character that spoke through her appearance, there was no mistake about that.

She then went downstairs, made herself breakfast consisting of toasts and then came back upstairs. Hester then sat down by her table under the window and wrote letters to Gilly, Selwyn and Lily. Satisfied with a number of words she has produced in the last two hours, she then almost silently went downstairs once again and got almost frightened when she saw both of her parents sitting together on the sofa in their living room.

They were both very much focused on something they were whispering to one another, their cheeks flushed and their hands holding each other for all they had. Rilla's cheeks were a bit shiny and Hester knew at once that her mother was crying, not now but sometime earlier and… and _so_ did her father! His cheeks were just the same as Rilla's.

Hester observed them for a few more moments because they didn't notice her coming into the room. But… nothing horrible _could_ have happened! - she thought to herself. They were _smiling_ now! Her mother had a glow about her entire being and Hester immediately smiled at her. She looked so very young then, even though she did complain about a few new grey hairs she found on her still auburn head a few months earlier.

"Good morning?" Hester was almost afraid to ask if it truly was a 'good' morning or not.

Both Ken and Rilla turned their heads at their daughter and smiled at her brightly, in a way they hadn't in months "Good morning, my darling!" Rilla jumped up from her seat and danced her way to Hester, putting her in a tight embrace and overflowing her with kisses.

Hester laughed aloud "Mum!" she exclaimed "You are so happy today!"

Rilla finally pulled away but still held onto Hester's hands, a smile never leaving her lips and her eyes flicking back and forth to Ken and Hester "Oh, we _both_ are, my dearest girl." Ken said and came over to both of his women and kissed Hester on the cheek " _Very_ happy indeed." he looked deeply into Rilla's eyes and the two of them shared a glance Hester knew well enough yet not entirely at the same time.

She frowned slightly "What… What is it?" she asked eventually and curiosity overcoming her.

"Hester, we have something to tell you." Ken started merrily and almost nervously Hester thought to herself before he turned his head to Rilla again "Do you want to… Or should I?" he asked her secretly.

Hester was looking now at both of her parents with such confusion upon her face that she herself wondered how her face could show that feeling any clearer. Yet both of her parents turned their heads towards her then and Rilla especially looked into Hester's eyes with a deep emotion of happiness "Hester, dear, I'm going to have a _baby_." she announced, her voice almost breaking into pieces but Hester knew that it was the breaking of joy exploding in her mother's body like a volcano.

Hester's jaw opened and for a second she really didn't know whether it was all just a dream, a reality or her own imagination. Finally, everything fell back into place and her hazel eyes filled up with warm and fresh tears. Her lips formed into a smile entirely effortlessly "Really?" she asked breathlessly.

Ken and Rilla looked at each other, smiling, and Ken put a piece of paper he held in his hands in front of his daughter "Well, the tests your mother did say so and so does your mother herself so I think that there's no reason to question it." he said cheerfully, his own eyes turning misty.

"Oh! How _wonderful_!" Hester exclaimed happily and put her arms around their necks and the three of them started laughing together, remembering each detail of that celebration which seemed almost sacred. Finally, they all steadied themselves and still smiling, looked at each other elatedly before Hester suddenly turned very worried. She put a hand on her mother's stomach and her other one on her elbow, motioning her to the sofa "You should sit down, mum." she said to her decidedly "I am no doctor nor a nurse but I do know that pregnant women have to rest a lot and take care of themselves."

Rilla, laughing, obediantly sat down on the sofa, her hand on her still flat stomach and her eyes twinkling as she put her other hand on Hester's own "Darling, I _am_ fine." she told her assuringly "The tests are absolutely brilliant and so there's nothing here to worry about, only to be joyful about." she said and Ken kissed his wife's lips tenderly and then he smiled at her and his daughter, all of them sitting on the sofa with Rilla placed comfortably in the middle.

"Rilla-my-Rilla," he said to her suddenly, his voice a but firmer "-you _do_ have to rest. You're not twenty years old anymore and you know that well yourself and that is exactly why you _will_ be spending most of your time here on this sofa." he looked meaningfully at her and Rilla gave him a look of disapproval.

"Really, Ken, I'm not going to be lying here all day long as if I were ill." she said to him decidedly "I've experienced _three_ pregnancies already and this one might be harder on me because of my age, I agree with you on that, but it's _not_ an illness. I feel wonderful." she raised her eyeborws at him, suddenly looking very much like her daughter sitting on her left and both Hester and her father laughed.

"That is true as well, Rilla." Ken agreed calmly "But you will rest, won't you? Please, dear." he touched her hand gently and she squeezed it reassuringly with a smile on her face.

"Of course, I will." she said gingerly.

Hester looked at her parents and only then she realised that small tears flowed down her flushed cheeks all that time and she quickly wiped them away with the sleeve of her blouse. She then put her hand on her mother's belly once again "I can't believe that I will have another sibling!" she said excitedly "And so will Gil and Selwyn!" she patted the little bump tenderly and then smiled at both of her parents who watched her with their parental fascination.

"It is so exciting, isn't it?" Rilla breathed out joyfully, looking down at where Hester's hand was "And July isn't so far off, is it?"

Hester gasped with delight "Oh, it will be a _summer_ baby!" she said and both of her parents laughed together before Hester turned serious once again "Mum, I am taking care of the house now, I will wash and cook and clean everything…"

Rilla put a hand on Hester's shoulder "No, no!" she said seriously "At least leave the _cooking_ to me!" she chuckled and so did her husband and her daughter who both knew that that was the least enjoyable activity of Rilla's.

"Alright, I _will_. But I'll be doing all the rest." Hester announced and then smiled readily at her parents again.

"But, dear, you're already doing all of it!" Rilla protested.

"You're always doing more than me, mum!" Hester argued.

"That's because you _work_ as a teacher and a helper at an orphanage, Hester." Rilla said calmly.

"It doesn't matter." Hester assured her with a squeeze of her hand "I will take care of the house and _you_ will take care of yourself." she raised her eyebrows at her mother and caused another wave of laughter in the room.

"Alright, that's a deal." Rilla said and kissed Hester's cheek gently.

Ken sighed with contentment "God, how much I love you, my two beautiful women." he said and took both Rilla's and Hester's hands in his own "So, Rilla will take care of herself and the cooking, Hester will take care of the house and regular work, and I will take care of my own work but most importantly I will take care of you _both_." he smiled tenderly at both of his women who smiled back at him.

That was the only reassurance each of them needed, it only took one smile and they all felt loved.


	21. Fleur

**_Chapter XXI_**

16th February 1943

Dear Diary,

I'm writing in here with the most beautiful news and I am still crying with joy over it!

When Daria sent us the telegram saying that we shouldn't worry about Gil and that she would put him back together in no time, she was more than right! Gilly is fully recovered now and a week ago he passed the tests and tomorrow he is going back to the front but no, no that's _not_ the news yet. The news is is that exactly three days ago he _married_ Daria, in Amsterdam, near the hospital where they met.

Yes, _my_ brother is a _married_ and a grown-up man! I _cannot_ believe it yet but I am immensely happy for him! And for Daria too! Everyone is very much delighted with the news of their marriage but then how can we all not be?

They got married three days ago and for those three days they rented out a small hotel room in Amsterdam, and are spending those few days with one another, enjoying their "honeymoon in Europe" as Gilly wrote in his yesterday's telegram. Oh, I so wish we were all there for their wedding but I know that everything happens for a reason and I am very glad indeed that they got married because I know that they're both happy. The telegram Gilly sent us those three days ago said exactly: "Happiest day in my life. Married Daria this morning." and today we got a letter he wrote to us a week and a half ago.

He _did_ plan it all! He did plan to ask Daria to marry him before he would be sent back to the front and because of that he wrote to our parents: "If you'll receive a telegram saying that we got married, then could Daria please come to the old Prince Edward Island and stay there with all of you until I come back?" and of course Dad immediately wrote him back saying that, of course, we will all welcome Daria with our open arms.

Gil said that he is worried about her. Firstly because she is in Europe and therefore in the centre of war. That is why he wants her to go away from that place and from all the very unfortunate possibilities that can meet her there (I agree with him on that entirely). Additionally, he knew for a while now that Daria is exhausted with work in the hospital and also that she truly needs a home, a true home with people who will love her and whom she will love back while waiting for him, for her husband to come back from the front. He has _such_ a big heart, our Gil does. I am so proud of him because of that.

I can't wait to meet my new sister! _My new sister_! _Mrs Ford_! Oh, I am so excited! The House of Dreams won't be as lonely as it's been for the past three years! And I can just feel that Daria and I will be bosom friends, we can't not be, with Gilly being the person we both love so much. She's to come to Canada in April, that's the time her hospital let her leave her position and so we'll patiently wait for her. That is when we'll meet her! Hmm… She'll be my sister. My _first_ sister.

I wonder if Mum is having a girl or a boy? I sometimes wish she was having a girl, I would love to dress her in those sweet dresses and later braid her hair! But I don't mind if it's actually a boy, it will be wonderful either ways. For now, Mum is resting obediently, reading books and listening to how I play for her (and for my future brother or sister at that!) and she's glowing more than… more than… Well, I've actually never seen her glowing like that before. Dad said that this is how she always looks like when she's awaiting her new "arrival". And the _look_ he had in his eyes when he said that… I really do think that this month has been one of the happiest in the war years so far.

Oh! And I haven't even written in here about everyone's reaction to the big news of my Mum's! Well, what can I say apart from the fact that everyone is bursting with joy and anticipation awaiting the upcoming July which seems so far away now! Grandpa Gilbert is almost _overly_ protective of Mums which drives her crazy, but so is Uncle Jem who then doubles the madness which, in all fairness, makes us all laugh for Mum turns _entirely_ red whenever they try to make her as comfortable as they can by putting the _fifth_ pillow under her back.

Grandma Anne is also very much protective when it comes to my Mum. She uses cooking as her tool for all of us and she also comes over to knit even more often than she used to. Of course, though, we are all a bit overly protective over Mummy's pregnancy because of her age because that puts her in a rather fragile position even though she doesn't think so at all.

Grandparents Ford are over the moon and both Gil and Selwyn are simply ecstatic, "a positive heavenly feeling" Selwyn experienced upon hearing the news, he wrote. I can't wait for them to come home and see their new brother or sister once the war is over! Auntie Una is a big help with cooking as well and both she and Mum have the best conversations each evening. Dad and I never disturb them. Auntie Una is also planning her wedding to Liam very slowly but most definitely and I can't express how wonderful it is to see her so happy and smiling so much! And I am to be a _bridesmaid_!

Like I said already, this month is one of the most wonderful of the last almost _four_ years of the war…. _Four years_ in September! Will it _ever_ end? It has to one-day but just _when_? The last war was on for four years so maybe this one will be mirroring it in this way? I greatly hope so. We need more goodness in this world, we really do, and hope and happiness.

Vance recently shared with me the state of her feelings for my brother Selwyn. They are getting stronger and she is certain that he is the _one_ for her. They write to each other all the time (I sometimes think that she gets more letters from Selwyn than I do! Which I don't mind, I am only happy for them to be such great friends.) Vance recently went quite crazy. She sews all the time and sends him different things she has made herself. Her letters to Selwyn are long, _very_ long. She sends him all the leaves she can find, the branches, everything which could remind him of home and I hate myself for haven't thought about doing something like that myself. I _did_ send him a flattened flower a few times before, but I don't have this ritual which Vance has; to actually put something into the envelope _each_ time.

She's scared of course, she's scared that something might happen to him or that he doesn't share her feelings. Of course, she doesn't want to tell him through a letter about her love for him for she knows that that's the last thing she wants him to think about whilst being at the front and possibly trying to figure out how he feels about it all himself. So her goal is to simply "make his thought out there as beautiful as they always used to be". I am grateful for her. Very, _very_ much. And proud of her too. She is always so shy and never talks a lot and so when I see her sending a completely _packed_ envelope with "Second Lieutenant Selwyn Ford" written on its surface, I smile and kiss her cheeks hurriedly, thanking her because it was more than once when Selwyn himself said that Vance is truly the friend he always wanted to have during school but never actually did.

Essen was bombed this month. Nuremberg was bombed too. Shoe rationing started in Phillip's country… Phillip… I miss him _so_ much it hurts! But the good news is that he is coming to the Island (finally!) next month for the whole week! Apparently, he has a surprise for me, and I _cannot_ work out what it could be, no idea whatsoever. So I will have to wait to see it, which is very exciting indeed.

Now, I know that I've left the case of Seb at the end of this diary entry and I did it on purpose because it weighs quite heavily on my shoulders and my chest and I don't give it much time to think about during the day because well… I just don't want to think about it _at all_. It's all so frustrating and confusing…

We write to each other but there is no _love_ in those letters anymore. Whenever I sit down and try to write a proper love letter to him, like I could do very easily only a few months back, I just… _can't_. I can't find the right words, I don't know how to write that kind of letter anymore! He stopped writing to me those kinds of letters as well, a month ago almost which really seems like a year to me. I am actually quite angry at him, to be honest, not even saddened like I was at the start. I'm never angry at anyone or anything but right now I must admit that I _am_ , not a lot but slightly. I stopped wearing that gold bracelet he gave me for Christmas, I don't wear any more of the jewellery he gave me, it only brings me an even deeper melancholy.

I shall simply wait to see what the future will bring, I suppose.

And, of course, there's my dear Jo with her enormous stomach, awaiting the arrival of her own baby. She's very excited but also terrified of giving birth, she even had nightmares about it, she said. Grandpa Gil and Uncle Jem are constantly reassuring her that both she and the baby are doing perfectly fine and that _she_ will be fine as well and will do splendidly but she is worried and frightened all the same. It's a matter of days now, we all know that much.

It's so strange to think that _Jo's baby_ will be _older_ than my sibling-on-the-way! Oh, it would be so splendid if Jo had a girl and Mum had a girl and they would have a friend in one another for always. Or if Jo had a boy and Mum had a boy and then both of them could be "pals" as they say, for forever as well. Such excitement in such a painful and a horrific time is almost scary to experience, isn't it?

I have a lesson to teach in about half an hour so I must be going now.

I'll try to write in here sooner, but I am terribly busy at the moment!

Yours,

Hester

* * *

It was an early Monday was only the hardly visible beginning of a new sunrise of a new day and Hester was rushing through the snow with a very quickly put on sweater and trousers. Her black hair was all over the place but out of her face as the cold wind of the last week of February was brushing her face instead, making her cheeks all full and rosy.

Finally, when she thought she would never see it, she saw the Honey Cottage and the lights burning in Jo's room. Her own heart was beating nervously and the fact that she was almost running through the thick and heavy snow wasn't calming to her at all.

Now she was eventually at the doorstep and she allowed herself to pant breathlessly while she started knocking furiously at the door. Within a few seconds, she heard Jerry springing down the stairs shouting: "It's open!" and so she pushed the door only to look into the flushed face of her uncle halfway up the stairs, smiling widely at her "It's almost over, Hester! Hurry up, dear!" he said to her and she pulled the coat and a scarf off her right on the floor and ran up the stairs following Jerry up to the room of Jo's.

It was almost steamy inside. That was the first thought which crossed Hester's mind when she entered the room. Her face was flushed with an even deeper shade of red then. Her heart was on the edge of exploding when she saw Jo lying in her bed with the white sheets blotched with redness of her own blood, screaming her heart out. Nan was sitting by her daughter's side and held her hand, weeping while still smiling and whispering to Jo everything she needed to hear. Yet Hester knew that Jo didn't hear a single word of her mother's as she was focusing on Jem who was giving her instructions on when to push and for how long.

Hester looked around her, Jerry took his seat next to Nan and motioned to Hester to sit at the other side; the chair was already waiting for her there. Hester hurried on Jo's left, smiling knowingly at Nan who smiled back just as radiantly and then looked back at her fiery daughter who even though had no make-up on her face, for once, looked still beautiful despite trying her hardest to push out an entirely new human being from her stomach into the world.

Hester took her seat quickly and then she took Jo's hand in her own. She put a wet strand of Jo's hair behind her ear and Jo suddenly looked at Hester, almost shocked to see her, as if she forgot who she was " _Hester_!" she exclaimed breathlessly, evidently awaiting another contraction to appear "I'm so happy you're…" and then she started to moan in pain again.

"Of course, I came, Jo." Hester told her with a smile and squeezed her hand gently "You're doing splendidly."

"Yes, you are, Jo." Jem said to her from behind a white sheet "Your baby will make his or her appearance with only one more push, dear." he told her and it was as if everyone, including Jo herself, stopped breathing entirely while being faced with that eerie yet a wonderful reality. Jo started pushing with all her natural power and just as suddenly Jem's hands were holding a perfect, little and chubby… "It's a girl!" he laughed aloud joyfully with a huge smile upon his face whilst he was putting the crying baby in the towel and then straight into Jo's expectant and open arms.

It was a beautiful sight. A new baby in her mother's arms, the arms that trembled with emotions of eternal happiness and just as equal feeling of exhaustion. At the same time, the sunrise announcing a new day and a new beginning was shining through the window right at the two of them, creating a sacred atmosphere. It seemed to Hester that those few seconds of holiness were expanded to hours.

That was when Hester realised that she was weeping herself, and not a little, but that her cheeks were actually pedestals for the small waterfalls running down them. "Oh, Jo!" Nan and Jerry started to kiss their only daughter on her flushed and sweaty face which glowed with such joy Hester never saw on any of the faces of people she knew. Now she knew that that was something she quite couldn't understand herself yet but also that was something of which she dreamt, and that was the sweet taste of motherhood.

Jo kissed her parents back and then looked down onto the bundle in her arms, her own cheeks wet with her tears "Oh, she's so _perfect_!" she gasped between sobs "So tiny! _My_ little angel!" she kissed her daughter's forehead while the baby cried in her mother's shaking arms "I promise that I'll try to be the best mum." she whispered and Hester squeezed Jo's hand harder and Jo looked at her for a moment with a smile which said more than needed to be said.

"You already are, my darling." Nan said with an unmeasurable amount of pride in her eyes "We're _so_ proud of you." she looked over at her husband who looked back at her and they both shared a knowing smile which then was directed at their daughter.

"Very much." Jerry echoed with wet cheeks of his own.

"The first baby of the new generation!" Jem reappeared behind Hester and started to look down at the small baby he brought into this world with his own hands "Jo, do you have a name for this new princess?" he asked her with a grin.

Jo looked at each of the people in the room and finally set her eyes on the little baby in her arms who quietened down a bit and now was opening and closing her hands, causing Jo to gasp with delight "I do have a name." she whispered decidedly with the brightest smile Hester had ever seen appear on her friend's face "Fleur Hester Sutton." she looked up at Hester slowly whose mouth suddenly dropped "For my very first bosom friend." Jo's eyes filled with tears all over again as she smiled at Hester whose own eyes were already overfilled with not only tears but happiness too.

"Oh, Jo, you don't have to…" she started but Jo squeezed Hester's hand to stop her.

"I know but I _want_ to." she assured her and then looked down at her bundle of joy "And she does look like Fleur Hester, don't you, my little flower?" she said to her daughter and little Fleur Hester sneezed gracefully and everyone laughed merrily.

"Jo, I will take little baby Fleur and weigh her, if you don't mind." Jem opened his arms to take the bundle and Jo reluctantly gave her daughter to her uncle, a smile never leaving her face.

"I _do_ mind but I can't do anything about it." she chuckled and so did the people around her.

"I'll bring you something to drink." Nan said energetically as she kissed her daughter on the head and raised from her seat swiftly "I'll be right back, darling."

"Not going anywhere, mum." Jo reassured her with a smile and Jerry offering that he'll bring the cot into the room now, also left the room quickly.

"Jo, you were wonderful." Hester said to her friend with wonder and amazement in her voice "I'm so proud. And I can't wait to read the letter John will send you about having a little niece of his own!"

Jo chuckled at the thought and then looked at Jem in the corner, measuring and cleaning little Fleur who was fussing sweetly "I can't wait either, Hester." she whispered and then put a hand on her cheek, sighing in contentment "Hester, I'm a _mother_ now." she said with awe in her eyes.

"Yes, you are." Hester agreed happily "And one of the best ones I know." and right there she and Jo shared a long glance of their everlasting friendship.

"Thank you, for everything." she said finally.

"I thank _you_ , Jo." Hester said to her, squeezing Jo's hand in her own "And don't worry, I'll be there for you, whenever you'll need me."

"I know you will." she said gratefully "And that is why you have a namesake now." she looked over at Jem who was putting little baby Fleur onto the weight carefully, telling her quietly of some imagined stories of his.

Hester followed Jo's gaze and smiled at her namesake, the little Fleur Hester. Her heart filled with a sudden leap of joy mixed with a yearning she never knew she'd have at her young age. She squeezed Jo's hand once more knowing that even though her friend hardly felt it but Hester didn't mind at all, they knew how much they loved one another and now also the little baby who was already more welcomed in their family than she could know.


	22. Heart's Sorrows and Hopes

**_Chapter XXII_**

Somehow March was almost halfway through and therefore Hester managed to get the whole week off to spend it in the company of Jo and Fleur. All three of them along with all the women of their family were spending their days in the old and cosy Ingleside, talking, knitting and passing little Fleur from arms to arms. Fleur looked exactly like her mother apart from her eyes which were her father's, according to Jo. Fleur Hester Sutton had a bundle of brown curls on her small head which now both she, her mother but also her grandmother all shared. Her lips were as full as Jo's and just as perfectly shaped into a flattened heart mirroring Hester's own lips. Finally, Fleur's eyes were not Jo's brown but the crystal green which was the exact shape and colour of Jo's fiance's eyes, who was, of course, as delighted to hear of his daughter's birth as Jo herself was to experience it. Rilla's stomach, however, was starting to show eventually and she was as proud as a mother-to-be should be. So were the people she loved most in this world.

Now it was the middle of the week and Hester was knitting a new pair of socks for Selwyn on the sofa of the Ingleside's living room. She was listening to the chatter of the Blythe, Meredith, Ford and Douglas' women and even felt a bit strange that her Group was missing but that couldn't be helped, all of them were at work or like Lily, in Redmond. Jo was there, though, sitting next to Hester with Fleur in her arms who was playing with her mother's brown locks making the sweetest sound of an almost a month old baby. Hester would look at Fleur from time to time and her heart would flutter furiously, filling up with love and emptiness at the same time. _Was Seb still in love with me?_ her mind was thinking instantly.

But Hester shook off the thought quickly and tried to concentrate on her knitting instead when something distracted her again and she looked up. _Nothing_. Everything seemed normal and jolly like always at that time of the day and the activity of knitting. However, something inside of her was whispering softly: "You should go outside. _Go_ outside, Hester!" and she put the knitting on the side at the same time as there was a knocking at the door.

"I'll go." Hester smiled at her grandma Anne who was about to stand up from her chair and who at once returned the smile of her granddaughter. Hester's heart was beating swiftly as she was making her way towards the front door and she couldn't help herself but to think of the worst. A _telegram_. But when she opened the door, a huge smile appeared on her face instead " _Phillip_!" she exclaimed happily and wrapped her arms around her friend's neck, he had grown again, it seemed!

"Surprise, dear friend." he whispered into her ear and only then Hester stopped laughing for she looked down at the jacket he wore. She immediately stepped back, as if she touched something extremely hot and her face turned as white as paper. She opened her mouth but nothing came out of it. Instead, Hester closed the door behind her and stepped on the verandah with Phillip who was dressed in a full American's army uniform with a cap proudly resting on his head.

Her eyes searched through him and his through her. Phillip finally took her hands in his own and looked into her eyes deeply "I'm sorry, Hester." he said softly but decidedly "I had to."

That was when Hester finally found a tongue in her mouth again "When?" she managed to ask.

"Enlisted a week ago and I'm supposed to go to the training camp in two days time." he replied readily "But I had to come and see grandma, and _you_. Before I go, that is."

Hester let out a trembling breath of the air. She couldn't hide her emotions anymore, not like she could when she was sending her brothers off, or even when Seb enlisted. Without her quite noticing, warm tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was suddenly in the arms of Phillip, her friend yet somehow almost a complete stranger because of the uniform her wore. "I _can't_ loose you!" she sobbed into his shoulder "Phillip! Not _you_ as well! There are simply too many people taken away from me… Everyone is taken away into this... _horror_!" she looked into his eyes, their faces only inches away " _Why_?" she asked helplessly.

"It sounds ridiculous but it's true: it's my duty, dear one." he whispered to her while smiling assuringly. He blushed then when he saw Hester gazing intensively into his eyes still "But I'll be fine. You'll see." he said and then looked at Hester's neck and took the silver necklace into his hands delicately.

"Everyone says so, Phillip. Every soldier does." she whispered herself, studying his face whilst he studied the necklace he gave her once upon a time "And they _die_. Jo's husband, Hawk, died at the front. Jimmy Flagg died two months ago. Don't make promises you won't keep, Phillip." she said almost angrily "I could be fooled like that by my brothers or my… Seb," she shivered at the mention of his name but quickly shrugged it off "But I'm _not_ going to be fooled again."

He finally looked up at her once more, still holding the small, silver miniature of a cello in his hands "You're right, and I'm not going to fool you." he said, letting go of the necklace and putting his hands on her shoulders instead "But I can promise you that I _will_ be keeping as safe as I can, always." he said seriously.

"Alright." she whispered back, wiping away the tears from her cheeks "You will write to me, won't you?" she asked him through a new wave of tears forming in her eyes one more time.

He chuckled softly "Of course I will." he said "I can't wait for you to send me one of those pairs of socks you always talk about in your letters to me."

Now it was Hester's turn to chuckle quietly as well before turning serious again "Phillip?" she asked him suddenly.

"Yes?" he replied, his voice lower and quieter as his eyes were focused on hers.

"You know that it doesn't change anything?" she questioned him and he looked at her for a moment before sighing heavily and managing a tiny smile of his.

"Yeah, I know." he said finally "I got used to that thought ever since your seventeenth birthday." he smiled wider at her and Hester knew that he was telling the truth "And I hope that things will work out finally between you and Seb."

"I don't know if they will." she said with a bit of a wistful look in her eyes "But we'll see about that." she smiled with courage and he grinned back at her.

"Hester?" he asked, blushing unexpectedly.

"Yes, Phillip?"

"Could you at least…" he asked and rubbed his ear nervously "-if you don't mind, that is, and it _doesn't_ mean anything but…"

Hester put both of her hands on his cheeks and smiled into his eyes with tears in her own "Of course." she said and kissed him on the lips, softly. She pulled back a few moments later "Be safe, soldier." she told him and he grinned back at her.

"Always." he replied and he pulled Hester into another embrace and they both stood like that for what it seemed hours, hours both of them would never forget.

* * *

It's funny how with just one letter everything can change and then make a perfect sense in a whirl of chaos it brought.

It was a day after, a warm but foggy Thursday morning and Hester woke up very early probably because she couldn't sleep at all last night. How could she? She was thinking of Phillip in a new uniform and the fact that she had only one day more which she could spend with him before she was to set him off to the training camp all the boys she loved most went to.

After eating her breakfast downstairs as silently as she could, Hester brushed her hair and then put it into a loosened pony tail. She then put on her nice pink dress with a white neckline, black and practical yet still quite elegant shoes, and just as she was putting on her old silver earrings, she looked outside the window of her room and a frown appeared on her face. The postman was putting letters into their mailbox, and even though it was a very normal thing for her to witness, she felt that something was wrong but just didn't know what. It wasn't a feeling of panic that something happened to any of her boys at the front, no, but it was a queer feeling that something is simply _different_. But _what_? she asked herself as she was coming outside into the silence of the front of the House of Dreams. A thick scarf rested around her shoulders as she was opening the mailbox, curiously popping her head inside of it and taking out the whole of four envelopes. All white, meaning no telegram.

"Bills," she said to herself while rushing through the envelopes "-for dad from work, a letter from Lily…" and then there it was, Hester's hands froze and so did her eyes " _Seb_." she whispered to herself, tracing the handwriting of her sweetheart, or a sweetheart she once had, she still wasn't sure. She opened the letter and started reading it hungrily. The whole world seemed to stop for a moment when she finished and as she looked into the space in front of her. Then it was as if the world started to spin quicker than normally and suddenly, without hesitation, Hester was running down the lane, as if for her dear life, to the place she needed to walk through right now, the Rainbow Valley.

Phillip was sitting underneath the old White Lady with two blankets, one over him and the second one under him. A book was held in his hands as he looked up and was almost startled to see a running Hester, with a letter in her hand, her face red and her hair completely disassembled. He stood up quickly and ran up to meet her with a worried look on his face "Hester…?" he started but before he said anything else Hester was already in his arms, weeping like a baby. What surprised him was that her tears weren't tears of sadness or lost hope, they were tears of fury _and_ anger. He pulled away, looking into her flushed face and his hands on her shaking arms "Hester, _what_ are you doing here? Why are you crying?" he asked her caringly and worriedly.

She groaned in enmity and threw her hand which held a letter right in front of his face "Seb! You know him, don't you?" she, of course, didn't wait for an answer from Phillip and he looked at her with amazement. Hester, a person who was the last one to ever get angry or sarcastic was both in that very moment "You know what he wrote in _this_ letter which he sent to me a week and a half ago? He wrote," she opened up the letter with her trembling hands and then after a few moments searching for the right sentence looked up at Phillip with a hurt and furious look in her hazel eyes "-he said that he _doesn't love me anymore_." she stopped reading there because another wave of tears ran through her cheeks and she wiped them away again "He _never_ loved me - he _wrote_! He instead loves the person who turned her back on me on apparently discovering _her own feelings_ towards him... _Flora_!" Hester put her hands on her face, pacing up and down in front of a nearly shocked to his bones Phillip "They're _engaged_!" she breathed out finally and collapsed onto the wet grass like a perfect definition of a 'crying mess'.

Phillip pulled her up though and embraced her. She sobbed into his chest as he was stroking her hair gently whilst saying "Shush, now, it's alright." into her ear. Finally, she stopped crying and pulled away from him, almost reluctantly, wiping away the tears with the hem of the scarf she still had around her shoulders.

" _How_ is it alright, Phillip?" she asked him with a red face and misty eyes " _Why_ did I deserve such treatment from someone I thought I would share my life with?"

Phillip shrugged helplessly "I don't know that, Hester." he said to her calmly and put his hands on her shoulders trying to calm her down a bit more "But I know one thing right now and that is that he _never_ deserved you. But also that this whole situation only proves that you two simply weren't meant to be, it happens, _you_ know." he smiled at her a bit awkwardly, and when Hester realised what he meant, she blushed a little herself.

She returned the smile weakly "I know." she said finally, a bit more calmly and steadily "But it's just that…" she looked away for a second before looking up at Phillip again "I _did_ love him. How can I now be sure that love, and _true_ love at that, really exists?" she asked him expectantly.

He grinned at her lightly, almost smirking "I suppose that all it takes is to look around you. Look at your parents, your aunts and uncles, your grandparents, your own brother!" he chuckled humorously and Hester smiled at him softly "It exists, Hester. Don't you dare lock the idea of love and romance out of your life just because some idiot turned out to be… well… an idiot." that was when both he and Hester started to laugh, quite hysterically, holding onto each other's arms so to not fall over.

Finally they stopped and were now looking into one another's eyes with grins on their faces "Seb _is_ an idiot, you're so very right, Phillip!" she exclaimed and he chuckled again "No, I'm not going to lock love and romance out of my life, _no_. I'll wait for it but it will be an impatient wait, I think." she suddenly looked deeper into Phillip's eyes and her smile weakened slightly. She put her hand on his cheek tenderly "How much I wish I could love you in that special way, Phillip." she whispered all of a sudden "I tried. _Many_ times actually. After you kissed me at my seventeenth birthday and during those few months when I _could_ feel in my bones that something wasn't right between me and Seb. But I just… _can't_." a single tear dropped down her cheek "But now, now that Seb _isn't_ in my future anymore and I can truly feel that he's not, I can now feel... hmm... something _else_ instead."

Phillip looked down at her curiously "What can you feel then, Hester?" he asked her.

She looked away at something behind him which she couldn't quite see herself yet she could feel it as much as that sudden wind which blew into her face and brought colour onto her cheeks. Hester smiled half dreamily, half absent-mindedly and then looked back into Phillip's intrigued, smiling face "I can feel... although it might seem silly..." she said and felt a thrill which might have been a shiver running down her neck "-that there's _someone_ out there who is waiting for me and for whom _I_ am waiting myself." she frowned at her own idea "Is that strange? To feel something like that right after someone has broken up with you?" she asked him fearfully almost.

He grinned at her gently "No." he replied "It's quite… wonderful really." he said to her in his merry old voice "And, by God, I _do_ envy that man. I already do, even though you haven't met him yet."

She smiled at him softly and squeezed his hand "And what if... I _already_ have?" a sudden thought stroke her like a thunderbolt and she blushed with a sudden rush of emotions, a fresh and a ready smile appearing on her lips like the morning fog starting to appear all around them.

Phillip chuckled at her reaction and put her into an embrace again, a friendly one, the kind he was now used to using towards Hester "Well, that will only make it even more wonderful." he said to her and then Hester put her head up to look at him.

"And _much_ more romantic." she added and both of them laughed together, tears running down both of their cheeks for they knew that it could be years before they would laugh together like that again.


	23. Daria

**Dearest readers, _thank you all_ from the bottom of my heart for not only reading but also following, favouriting and reviewing my story! (AvonleaBlythe - don't worry for not reviewing each chapter as I am thrilled by just knowing that you're enjoying the story! And the Guest - thank you for all of your reviews, they always make my day!) The support from all of you means a lot to me and I can only hope that you're taking pleasure in reading the story of Hester at least half as much as I do whilst writing it! - Bathsheba Blythe**

 ** _Chapter XXIII_**

With the news of the Warsaw Ghetto's uprising in late April causing Hester and her family to rejoice and yet caused a cold shiver to run down their backs at the same time, came also a certain girl, a woman more likely, also of a Jewish history yet not Jewish herself. She wasn't particularly tall and yet she wasn't short either. Her figure was neither skinny nor chubby. She was, however, not ugly at all but instead her beauty radiated from her entire being like the sun shining above her. She was just like her husband described her to his family in his letters.

She had a black bob of hair which was effortlessly shiny, straight and reaching her pointy chin that was rounding up to her rosy cheeks which were rosy regardless of the temperature in the air. Her nose had a few visible freckles as well. However, the most striking feature about that young woman were her eyes, the real green, emerald-like eyes which were mesmerising to look into and overfilled with hope and faith of her spirit. Above those fantastical eyes were black, bushy eyebrows which were making her look like an exotic movie-star who was still considered "undiscovered".

She wore a plain, dark purple dress with a polka-dot pattern on it and a sweetheart neckline with a triangular cut right underneath it. Her matching purple jacket rested comfortably on her shoulders. It was an old dress but she looked beautiful despite its age, it was as if she was emanating some kind of special power of belief and kindness in which everyone could, without trying, fall in love with.

Her suitcase was small but neatly closed and her pale long hands trembled slightly as she was stepping out on the ground of the Glen St Mary's train station, even though she was smiling, again, effortlessly. She was looking around, turning her head and trying not to step on other people rushing through the station which was full of the fumes coming out of the train.

However, she didn't look confused or nervous for long because suddenly a young, short girl of almost nineteen (and therefore only three years younger than the young woman herself) with just as black yet curly hair reaching her shoulders caught her hand surely, yet gingerly with a wide smile on her smooth, pale face. She wore a yellow dress which she made herself and looked just as elegantly as the woman standing next to her "You _are_ Daria, aren't you?" she said to her kindly.

The young woman smiled widely at her then and caught her hands in her own very tightly " _Hester_!" she said happily and gasped in joy "Oh, my very own and only _sister_!" her Polish accent was just as delightful of a sound to Hester's ears as it was for her parents who stood right behind the two of them.

"Yes, it is!" Hester chuckled merrily and put Daria into a hug, stretching her arms upwards a bit so to reach her neck "I'm _so_ glad to meet you eventually!" she whispered into her ear excitedly.

"I am too, dear." Daria whispered back, her voice trembling slightly as the two pulled away almost reluctantly.

"I can see very clearly why my oldest son married you so quickly." Rilla said with tears in her eyes and a smile crossing her flushed face "Come here, to _your_ mother, my dear girl." she outstretched her arms and Daria was swiftly embraced by them, to the allowing extent of Rilla's arms which was obviously limited because of the not-so-small-anymore bump she had grown underneath her green dress.

Hester's own eyes filled with tears by then as she looked at her mother hugging her second daughter who was given to her in the time when children brought nothing but joy, in whatever circumstances they'd enter this world, and then looked at her father whose eyes were also misty yet happy nonetheless. "Welcome to Prince Edward Island, dearest Daria." Ken said when it was his turn to embrace the newest addition to his children, and he kissed Daria on the head softly "I hope that you'll feel at home here."

Daria pulled away slowly and smiled at each of the new faces which she considered her own already "It's been a long time since I felt at home." she said "And I already do, even without seeing the House of Dreams yet!" she chuckled and so did her parents and sister-in-law, smiling at one another.

"Your room is right next to mine, you know." Hester said to her as she took her arm in hers readily, as they all started walking towards their car "It's Gilly's old room which he advised us to clean to the _highest_ standard before your arrival." she chuckled at the remembrance of the letter her oldest brother sent her only two weeks earlier.

Daria laughed as well, a rich lovely sounding laughter, as she looked down at Hester with even rosier cheeks "That's _my_ Gilbert! Always bossy but with good intentions at heart." she said and smiled while looking down at the gold band wrapped around her fourth finger of her left hand "I couldn't be happier to be here, in the place _he_ calls home and which I know I will call my own home too." sudden tears appeared in her eyes but Hester stopped them by smiling into Daria's face, squeezing her hand affectionately.

"We will have the greatest time together, sister." Hester said to her kindly and they both shared what Anne Blythe would call a "glance that speaks for miles".

"Will you play for me, Hester?" Daria asked suddenly, very eagerly "I've heard people play instruments only a few times in my life, when I was very small, and from what Gilbert told me I know that you are _more_ than a musician, you're a true professional composing her own work!"

Hester blushed then and grinned back "Well, I do compose although I wouldn't say I'm a professional." she said almost bashfully "But, of course, I'll play anything you want me to, my dear."

"Girls, hurry up into the car!" Ken called out to them cheerfully from the front seat of their blue car "Your mother says that she's hungry and you know that pregnant women aren't pleased with waiting!"

After laughing together, the newly met sisters hurried into the car, both knowing that from this day forward their lives would never be quite the same as they were before.

* * *

" _Oh_ , there will be an August wedding, a real _wedding_!" Daria exclaimed while walking arm-to-arm next to Hester, along the shore "I've never been to a wedding before, you know."

Hester looked curiously at her sister-in-law and raised her eyebrows, even though she was still smiling sweetly "Really? I've only been to two weddings myself: one was uncle Shirley's and auntie Emma's but I can't remember anything about it because I was only one year old when they married!" both of them laughed together light-heartedly "And the second one was the wedding of our cousin Bruce and Louisa, you met her and their twins." Daria nodded along with a smile on her face.

"Of course, I do. I talked with Louisa about music and Bruce too, of course, and I almost cried over how beautiful Rose and Violet are!" she and Hester both chuckled together again.

"I know, they are extremely sweet and I can hardly believe they're already four years old." Hester said in a bit melancholic voice yet her face was still merry "And you have no idea how happy I am for this wedding of auntie Una. Of course, I've told you her story and so you know why it makes all of us so terribly happy for her to be so in love and so happy too after everything she went through." Hester instinctively touched a pocket of the flowing blue dress she was wearing and felt the rough piece of paper underneath it.

Daria noticed Hester's automatic move, which she now was acccustomed to and smiled at her softly "I love aunt Una, she's simply the kind of person you have to love instantly while meeting her for the first time." she said gently.

"That's very true." Hester agreed "And I can't wait to be a true bridesmaid too!" her cheeks suddenly turned pink and both sisters laughed together, their laughter spreading across the shore like an echo of a promise, taken away by the warm wind of May in the direction of the old Lighthouse which was now in front of them.

It was sunset and a day after Hester's nineteenth birthday. The occassion was celebrated just like Hester wanted, a family gathering with dinner and music and nothing else. She played the cello for her family and then talked with her Group which now consisted of herself, Marion, Vance, Lily (who came to Glen for a few days only and now was on the train back to Redmond), Jo with her little darling Fleur and now also Daria whom everyone loved with the first sight of her. Ken even joked that both Gilly and his family fell in love with her at first sight.

Three weeks have passed since she came to Canada and met her husband's family whom she loved like her own already, and vice versa. She really was just like Gilly described her, always smiling and being positive. She wasn't entirely outspoken but she wasn't quiet either, however, she was always kind and sweet with her cheeks all rosy and round like ripe apples. She and Hester especially became very close, they lived in the same house after all, and Hester for one also knew the other side of Daria's positiveness.

She, of course, knew Daria's history and their family did too but Daria told Hester only (except for Gilly) her whole and entire story with a trembling lip and tears running down her usually always smiling face. She was born in Warsaw and was an only child of her parents. Both her mother and father, along with her two uncles (brothers of her father) and an auntie (sister of her mother) were all killed in the invasion of Poland which started the war. This meant that almost her entire family was killed in one day when she was out in town, shopping for food for their family dinner. She heard the bombings but she would never think that anything happened to either her house or her family. When she discovered her flat, where her family lived, entirely crushed she dropped to the ground and couldn't cry, or move at all, she just sat in the middle of the crushed bricks, windows, furniture and dust all over her and stared at what once was the window of her own small bedroom. It was only when a nurse took her to a safe, yet unknown to Daria, place and talked as Daria said herself, "some sense into me. She convinced me that I have to start living again."

At first it seemed impossible and Daria said that the entire week after the invasion was the week of her life she can't recall at all. However, when she finally regained her senses and the shock opened the door to the realisation of what actually happened, she spent another week weeping her heart out in the arms of the nurse who offered her to stay at her apartment for her emotional recovery. "It was as if I was never truly born. How _could_ I be when everyone and everything I loved were gone?" she said to Hester but then shook her head again and wiped away her tears, slowly smiling once again "But then I stood up, got up from the bed, out of the house, and I went to the hairdresser. I cut my hair, which was always up to here…" she put her hand on the middle of her stomach and then touched her bob, smiling wider still "And I decided to live, to live for not only myself but for all the people I've lost because they would want me to do that for them."

So she packed the small suitcase the nurse gave her with the three dresses she now only owned and went to the train station. She headed to Poznan, to the only family she had left in this world, her aunt Hanna and her son, who was Daria's cousin and best friend, Mateusz. She knew that they weren't safe, they were both Jewish after all, even though Daria herself wasn't and her coming and staying with them was a risk but she took it nonetheless.

"They were so wonderful, those two months staying with them." Daria told Hester with shining eyes "Mateusz and I were almost like children again, and all three of us with aunt Hanna laughed _every_ single day and even _danced_." But then the Germans came and their trio knew that they were in trouble, a very serious trouble indeed. Even though Daria was Catholic, she had Jewish blood in her from her mother's side, and she did look Jewish enough for the Germans being able not to believe her she wasn't.

Hanna told Daria to pack her things and leave the country as soon and as fast as she can, for her own good and safety. Daria didn't want to leave but Mateusz convinced her to do so and with a heavy heart and tears running down her cheeks, she obediently packed her one and only suitcase and left Poland for Netherlands where she trained as a nurse and started to settle down slowly in the heart of Amsterdam. "I didn't really have any friends there, in the hospital." she said "But I didn't mind, I was happy by simply helping the soldiers who gave their lives and health into my small hands." she looked at her hands and smiled "I didn't feel lonely anymore."

A year later she got a letter from her cousin which said that both Mateusz and Hanna were both to be sent to a concentration camp in a week's time. He didn't even say to which one they were to go. So Daria decided to do just what he told her to do, simply be happy and live for herself, even though it was not an easy task for the first three months afterwards. She really did know that now everyone from her family was dead. "But I know that all of them are my guardian angels from Heaven and that they are watching over me." Daria said with misty eyes and a trembling lip "And I intend to make them proud."

And then one day, as soon as she started her shift, she was told to take the care over "this Canadian pilot who was found a few days ago in the fields". Gilly was in a terrible state, covered almost entirely in mud; he was terribly thin with one arm and a leg both broken. That meant that Daria had a very long and hard work ahead of her in order to bring him into a state which could be called "under control". But she did do it, even though it took her a few hours cleaning and bandaging his arm and a leg but after all, she was proud of how efficient she was. He was unconscious by then but _she_ was there, above him when he woke up and looked up at her with his grey eyes and a smirk upon his face ("typical Gil" Hester laughed) and he said to her in a cracked voice "Are you an angel?" and Daria replied to him "Far from one, I think.", even though she already was head over heels for him and apparently he for her. Then Gilly smiled even wider and said slowly "Well then, you're nearer to one than you think." and the rest was just as simple as them falling in love with one another more and more each day after that. Daria, with not as much English to be able to understand absolutely everything Gil was saying to her, was able to understand him without any words needed.

Hester wasn't surprised by how quickly Gil started to love Daria and she him. Hester knew from not only Gilly's letters but now from also Daria herself, that they were "born under the same stars" and were, as overrated as it sounds, meant to be together. It was the sparkle in Daria's eyes when she was talking about "her Gilbert" or looking at or touching the gold band around her finger that revealed the feeling she had for her husband and which was also the same feeling Hester knew was in Gil's heart for his wife.

That was also how she came to the realisation herself that she simply wasn't meant to be with Seb and that made her feel a bit better too, at the core of her heart. She knew that there _was_ , in that very moment, someone and maybe someone she knew already, maybe not, who was the person she would be spending her life with one day. "You'll find each other, Hester." Daria told her "At the time when you're least going to expect it. And you'll _love_ how unexpected it will be.".

Now both Hester and Daria walked together along the sandy shore, barefooted, their arms connected as their souls were and Hester knew that whatever life would bring her, or the war at that too, she'd always have something or someone that will give her hope to live, if not for herself, then for someone else whom she loves.


	24. The Month Of June

**_Chapter XXIV_**

16th June 1943

Dear Diary,

A few days ago British 1st Division took the Italian island of Pantelleria and captured over 11 000 Italian troops. Accidentally, on the same day, my dearest brother Selwyn got shot in the back and is now at the hospital in Paris.

This is the reason I didn't write in here for more than a week's time because as soon as we received was a telegram stating that Second Lieutenant Selwyn Ford has been shot and is in a critical state in a hospital in Paris, Mum almost fainted and that alone almost caused me to faint as well. Mummy is supposed to deliver her baby, and my future sibling, in the next three weeks so we all felt really worried about her reaction especially. But after she fanned herself a little, drank a glass of water and sobbed in Dad's arms she calmed herself down and then ordered me to bring her her knitting from upstairs as she decided to knit a scarf for her "baby Selwyn".

I couldn't sleep that night at all and I cancelled all of my music lessons for the next day. However, that didn't mean I didn't play myself, I _made_ myself play the piano (which I find the most challenging for myself because I spend the least of my time playing it) all day long to focus my mind on something else. Daria was truly doing her best, bless her kind heart, to explain to all of us that a shot in the back and loss of blood isn't something that is 100% fatal and that she knows and is sure that Sewlyn will be fine. But who could believe her in a time like this?

Vance went into hysterics. She not only paced up and down my room when I told her about the telegram but also cried, and was _angry_ and I think every single emotion was shaking up inside of her. Firstly, she started to think of joining up as a nurse but then realised that she can't do it for the same reason I can't, we just weren't born with medically equipped skills. I wouldn't be able to bear the wounds, blood and torture of which I've heard from Auntie Faith's stories from the first war. Vance finally decided to write a book as her own way to focus her mind on something else and now she is writing and writing and everyone is simply astonished by her. Vance never wrote anything in her life and now, during the past two days, she's written _twenty_ whole pages!

Yesterday we finally received a telegram sent by Selwyn himself saying that he has lost a lot of blood indeed but that he's much better now and will certainly be fine very soon. Oh! _Oh_! What a relief this is to all of us! I felt as if a huge stone was lifted from my heart and only then I realised how truly certain I was during those past few days that Selwyn would… _die_. I am very grateful for my own thinking that I did my best to occupy my mind with playing Beethoven's sonatas for piano all those long two days!

I'm thankful that Selwyn is now in a hospital and can now rest a little at least. It's not that I'm thankful for him being shot at the back! _Never!_ Ever! No! But I know that recently his letters were getting shorter and shorter with him always saying at the end that he's so very sleepy he can't hold a pen in his hand anymore and therefore, I am glad that now at least he can get some rest, I don't know who deserves it more than his poetic and sensitive soul.

My darling Selwyn, his letters are very hopeful, I must say. He said himself that he stopped writing poems a while ago but that he does find laughter in his life at times, especially because of Walt and John being there with him in the trenches. I am so grateful for them all being always together, no matter what, those Three Musketeers. Now I'm only waiting for the war to end so that my dear poetic brother will come home and I'll be able to finally care for him, especially his dear soul. Although, considering, I should probably leave this job for Vance, she would be most thankful if I did leave it to her.

Ah, Vance and Selwyn… They are made for each other, I can feel it hard in my heart. I know that Vance does too but does Selwyn? I don't know _that_. He did mention her in his letters lots times, how wonderful of a friend she is to him and how much he loves writing to her and reading her letters but… Will he ever be able to love her in the way she loves him? I certainly hope so and I wish them both what I couldn't have with Seb.

I hardly ever think of Seb any more. I'm not angry at him, no, this feeling passed a few weeks ago now. I'm still disappointed, I think I will be always but… It's like Phillip said, we were simply not meant to be and apparently Seb and Flora were.

Dearest friend of mine, Phillip, right in this moment is on a ship across the ocean and I am crossing my fingers for him so tightly that they could turn entirely white. He'll be fine, I'm sure, he promised me after all but I do worry. I _have_ to. That's what we women do for our men, we do two things: we pray for them and we worry about them. I don't think we can do either or neither so we do both and that is simply what we are left with.

Auntie Una's wedding is in two months time and I can't wait for it! This whole summer is very exciting indeed because of not only the wedding but also the birth of my third sibling! I can't believe that I won't be the youngest of the Ford children any more... But it doesn't mean I'm sorry because of that, no, never that. I am very excited, scared for Mum a big deal without a doubt, but very happy and excited just like all of us are. Both Mum and Dad are counting days and we have everything ready. We have the old cot all put up, all the old clothes of mine and my brothers are waiting in the wardrobe as well as the new ones we got from our friends and family, all the bottles are cleaned… We are _so_ ready! I cannot wait to hold my little brother or a sister in my arms and kiss their sweet, tiny hands… Oh, goodness, I cry already by just thinking about it!

Daria is extremely excited as well! She never had a sibling of her own and now that she has me as her new sister and another new sibling on the way she's over-excited almost. She also always says how excited she is to meet the sibling she still doesn't know in person herself, Selwyn, of course. I think that Selwyn will love Daria, she is like a real sunflower, she shines with love and kindness everywhere she goes. She's like this motherly figure with a sisterhood glow about her friendly eyes.

Gilly is constantly asking about his wife in his letters and when he got a recent photograph of all of us together in front of the House of Dreams, with Mummy so big and Daria with her arms around me and mine around her, he wrote: "This is the most beautiful photograph I have ever seen. You have no idea how much faith and hope it gave me.". His letter made me cry too, as usual.

I have to run downstairs now, I have the apple pie in the oven and, of course, I don't want it to get burnt!

Yours,

Hester

* * *

It was the last week of June and Hester and her Group were all sat together in the rosy garden of the House of Dreams on Hester's request. She asked them to meet up all together for now it was "any day now" for the delivery of Hester's small baby brother or sister and Hester would not leave her house for any longer than an hour for fear she could miss it.

It was truly the most beautiful and enchanting weather on that day which made the world around the Hester's Group and herself seem almost impossible to imagine. It was simply timeless. The sun was shining on them all, the sky above was cloudless and the summer breeze was softly brushing all of their hair. Lily came back from Redmond a few days earlier, not only with a finished Law degree but also with news that she, before starting working as a lawyer, joined the VADs and shall be going off for her nurse training in two weeks time, to Toronto.

Everyone was far from shocked. Lily was beginning to write letters to her family where there was always something along the lines of how much she admired the nurses and Cornelia working overseas especially, and about how much she thought of her own mother's stories from her time of being a nurse at the time of the first war. No matter how much of it was expected, everyone was afraid for her, as a family should be after all. And everyone knew they would miss her too.

That was why when now the merry and bright red-headed lawyer was sitting on the blanket next to Hester and Marion, Hester would look at her from time to time and hold back her tears of the separation she knew by then would be longer than soon or not long at all. Even though she was proud of her friend, the thought of their separation was what was crossing her mind while thinking of Lily leaving for the nurse training in two just weeks time.

"Ada is worried, of course, but what can she do?" Lily was saying with a bit of wistfulness and a sigh in her voice "David enlisted to the Navy and he will be going for his training next month whether she or we like it or not."

All the girls sighed in unison "I can't imagine David, this shy little friend of Selwyn's, going off to the middle of the ocean and fighting there." Hester said, her voice melancholic even more than usually "But it's like you said Lily, we can't do anything about it."

Lily grinned sadly at her cousin and squeezed her hand "No, we can't." she agreed "We can only pray for his safety, that's all."

All the girls around her nodded in agreement and a few grins appeared on some of their faces "Ada will come here for only a week and it's never enough for how long she comes over here!" Marion sighed.

"Well, she _is_ studying very hard at Redmond." Lily supported her friend and an old room-mate "And Maths is not an easy subject at all." she raised her eyebrows in that funny way of hers and the girls around her chuckled a bit, the atmosphere regaining its light-heartedness.

"Does she have any beaux?" Jo raised her own eyebrow with a coquettish smile on her lips as she bounced little Fleur on her hip "A pretty girl like Ada, I'm sure has more than I even had at her age."

The girls around her smiled at Jo with joy in their eyes. She has changed so very much ever since the little baby she held in her arms was brought into this world that they all loved her even more than on the day when she was first introduced into the Group in the first place. Daria, sitting on Jo's right and Hester's left, was smiling too at the newest friend she made and who just spoken, Jo. As unlike personalities they both shared as well as looks, they both probably because of being in the same age, loved each other like true sisters do and found very special kindred spirits within one another, just like Daria did with Hester.

"Oh, yes, she'll tell you all about her Ben when she comes, I'm sure." Lily laughed sweetly and everyone's attention and curiosity grew by heaps then and everyone gathered closer around Lily to hear what she was to say about Ada's mysterious sweetheart "Ben is also in her Mathematics class at Redmond but he's two years older than she is. He is one of the most handsome men I've seen in my _life_." she theatrically put her hand on her chest and sighed, the girls around her giggled, even with little Fleur "He's tall, he has those dark brown locks and caramel, tanned skin. He is a quarter Spanish, that's why." she raised an eyebrow with an impish smile of hers "And he is head over heels for Ada just like she is for him although her little romance isn't really announced yet. So keep your mouths shut for now, although…" Lily chuckled "She knows me and she won't be surprised that I told you."

Everyone around her laughed in agreement "Ben can't even enlist to because he's colour blind." Lily added "That is why Ada is a real lucky gem, I must say."

The girls around her smiled "She always was and now is too." Hester agreed with a grin on her face "I only wish for her to be happy with Ben and for him to always treat her just right, and even more than that." a shadow came behind her eyes and both Daria from her left and Lily from her right squeezed both of Hester's hands and Hester smiled at the gesture of both, putting an image of a handsome tall boy in his uniform away from her mind, and somewhere far from her reach.

"Ah!" Jo said suddenly, drawing everyone's attention on herself, even Fleur's small head gave a try to look at her mother's smiling face and Jo gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek "I wanted to ask you all something. Aunt Rilla will have her baby soon," she looked meaningfully at Hester who smiled from ear to ear "-so how about giving your opinions on whether it's a boy or a girl just like you did when I was pregnant?" she asked, kissing Fleur on her forehead lightly, and the girls nodded in agreement.

"I think it's a girl." Daria said, while looking with fascination at Fleur's chubby hands "This world needs more girls and strong ones at that." she smiled at her friends and they smiled back at her.

"I agree with you most entirely." Lily said energetically "And I think it's a girl too. I was right about the little lady over here." she nodded towards Fleur who giggled as she discovered a hem of Daria's skirt "So I think that I am right about this guess too. I _think_." she added and the girls laughed together.

"I think that it's a boy." said Vance and Marion in unison and both shared a smile of their own.

"Why so?" Lily asked the two most bashful girl of their Group.

"Just a feeling I have." Vance said with a grin "It might be wrong but I think it's a boy, and this way Hester would be the only daughter to aunt Rilla and uncle Ken still." Hester smiled gently at Vance who grinned back at her knowingly.

"Yes, I agree with you, Vance." Marion said, patting the blonde-girl's hand with her own "And it would be nice for Fleur to have a boy-companion to play with." she smiled at Jo who chuckled merrily.

"I must say that it would be very interesting to see Fleur having a boy-cousin her age." Jo said eventually "But I wouldn't want her to be _too_ much involved with him just yet." she looked at her daughter with motherly love so clear in her eyes that everyone else's eyes overfilled with joy at the very sight of them.

"Do you think that aunt Rilla's having a boy or a girl, Jo?" Lily asked her cousin with a grin.

"I think she's having a boy as well." Jo said without hesitation "Hester?" she looked at the black-haired girl who looked away from Fleur and back at Jo and she smiled at her kindly.

"I'm uncertain." she replied "Sometimes I feel like it's a boy, like mum thinks, but then other times I think it's a girl, like dad guesses." the girls laughed together once more "I just hope that both the baby and mum will be alright." she tightened her lips a little and took a deep breath to calm herself down a bit as Lily caught her hands in her own.

"They'll be fine, dearest." she assured her.

"Of course, they will." Daria added with Jo and she kissed Hester's cheek softly.

Vance and Marion nodded in agreement as well and smiled meaningfully at Hester who smiled back at her friends with joy still in her hazel eyes. "I know." Hester said "And I know that especially because you're here with me to remind me that it is the truth."


	25. A New Joy Of Life

**_Chapter XXV_**

15th July 1943

Dearest friend of mine,

It's crazy to think that it's been already a whole week since I've arrived here, in Italy and specifically in Sicily. I can't say where exactly in Sicily I am right now, they would have censored it out anyway but what I can tell you is that right here it's extremely hot, especially because it's summertime. The trees here are so different to the trees in New York or even Canada that I find it extremely fascinating to simply look at them, when I have time of course.

I'm fine, dear Hester, I truly am so don't you worry about me. Yes, I shall be saying this to you just as much as your brothers and cousins do and besides, you know that we are invading the Italians now, and we're _winning_! God save us all and the Italian soldiers too!

I can't say that I enjoy my life as a soldier, not really. However, some aspects of it are quite satisfying I must tell you. For example, while moving from place to place we cross the cities we would only be able to see on the globe and that in itself is wonderful. I have never seen such unity in my life before either. Funny, isn't it? Unity in war! But yes, that is exactly what I'm talking about, in my regiment that is. All the men with me here are very positive and extremely loud as well. We sing all the time, dance, hum, and even laugh with one another sometimes at things that aren't actually that funny but we keep on laughing, to keep this sound familiar to us all, during the time which nobody would ever associate with laughter.

I miss you so very much, Hester. That's all I can say. I have your photograph in the pocket of my uniform and I look at it often, to remind myself of you, this bright spot in my life with musical hands, mind and soul, as well as beauty inside and out. Thank you ever so much Hester for sending me the copy of this new short piece you composed yourself. I don't get a single bit of line you scribbled on that piece of paper but I love it nonetheless. I trace it down with my fingers and then try to imagine you playing your cello and creating the sound that you've written down on that page in my hands. It gives me hope somehow.

Yes, Lily wrote to me too. She's very excited indeed about going overseas after her training. And oh, her letter from her second day of training as a nurse was so long and scruffily written that I couldn't help but laugh when I read it yesterday. I am proud of her and I can only imagine how proud you, while being so much closer to her than myself, are of her.

Don't worry too much about David, he'll be fine I'm sure. Like all of us over here, everyone will be fine Hester, just keep on keeping faith and praying for us. That will be enough to keep us all going.

Now I am anxiously waiting with you in my mind especially for the arrival of your little baby brother or sister! How exciting is that? You'll be the most wonderful sister to him or her, I am _sure_ about that and so are everyone else I am certain of that fact too. Send my love and good luck to your parents, especially your mum. I'm thinking about you all and I'm waiting for a letter from you informing me that right in that moment of when you are writing this letter to me you'll be holding your new sibling in your arms.  
Good luck to you too, dearest Hester.

I have to go now, of course, you know now from your own experience as a sister and a cousin receiving an enormous amount of letters and such from the front, that we have a limited time writing letters to the ones we love most.

Goodnight my sweet.

Always yours,

Second Lieutenant Phillip Jones

* * *

Hester was riding her bicycle, her summer pink dress swirling in the wind of her ride. The notes and the music books were shuffling against each other in the basket placed in the front of Hester's bicycle. She wore a wide, white hat with an alabaster ribbon tied underneath her chin, whilst a pair of sunglasses rested upon her pale nose. She truly looked as if she was filming a scene for a movie, even though each pair of her clothing was at least a year or two old. Her smile was both ageless and priceless though, and her red lips curved sweetly as she hummed "Moonlight Serenade" in the midst of the cloudless sky and a summer breeze.

She had just finished her music lesson with a nine year old boy of a name Bobby whose new passion was Hester's long developed and nurtured passion of playing her cello. He did splendidly at their lesson that day and that was why Hester was smiling so beautifully and spotlessly, she was always in the highest of moods when "her children" were doing "good" during the lessons with her, be it playing cello, violin or a piano.

She was very excited for the evening because she arranged with Daria, who was now working in the office as a secretary in town, that after her work at six in the afternoon, they would both go together in the garden of the House of Dreams and paint their nails together while listening to Hester's portable radio.

Now, though, Hester had the rest of the day off. She was already planning out in her head each activity she would do once putting her feet into her home. Firstly clean the floor, secondly put the soup on the stove and make dinner for herself and most importantly for her mother…

Hester stepped down from the bicycle and put it hurriedly at the wall of her house, taking off her sunglasses and a hat without a second hesitation. Her father's car, who was supposed to be at work an hour ago, was still in front of the House of Dreams and that could only mean one thing. It was _the_ time.

Hester ran into the house and threw the glasses and a hat of hers on the sofa carelessly and just as suddenly her grandma Anne and aunt Una stood in front of her, soft smiles and a hint of worry in their eyes. "You haven't missed anything, dear." Anne said as she put her arm around Hester's shoulders and embraced her caringly "The contractions are still about ten minutes apart."  
Hester breathed out heavily and took the hands of her grandma and her auntie into her own. She looked at both of them with a tight squeeze to their hands "I'm glad you're both here." she said and both of the women she loved so dearly smiled at her softly.

"Always, darling Hester." Una said to her kindly and planted a kiss on her cheek "It is so exciting, I must add."

"My dear House of Dreams will see another birth in its lifetime." Anne sighed in contentment while she put an arm around Hester's shoulders again and drew her closer, looking at the perfect example of her granddaughter for the statement she just outlined "I couldn't be happier."

"From this day forward, another thing in my life will change forever." Hester said with shining eyes "But it will be a good change, so I don't mind that at all." and then she put her arms around her grandmother's and aunt's waists just in time to hear a sudden high pitched shout of Rilla's from upstairs bedroom.  
All three women, Hester included, took one another's hands, looking frantically at the stairs and Hester felt as if they all were entangled together in the same bubble of emotions and for once she didn't feel alone at all, she felt quite safe with both Anne and Una by her side and it gave her hope and faith.

For the next three hours all three of them were cleaning downstairs, talked together to take their mind off the timeless passing time and the terrifying sounds from upstairs, and were drinking lemonade after lemonade and eating apple after apple.  
And then, four hours after Hester came back from her lesson with Bobby, the wind blew softly but certainly into the living room where she sat with her grandma and an aunt of her heart, and it touched their faces tenderly. They all looked at one another, their cheeks flushed, smiles knowing, and then the sound they have all been waiting for for so long finally voiced its way downstairs so that they all heard a cry of a newborn baby, a new and expected with joy member of the Ford, Blythe and the Meredith family.

Hester put her hands on her mouth as tears rolled down her cheeks and all three of them stood up abruptly, starting to hop around, hugging and kissing each other, the sounds coming out of each of their mouths fogged by the sound of tears spriniging down from their eyes. "You're an older sister, Hester!" Una said to the black-haired girl who kissed her aunt's cheeks in return.  
"You're an auntie again!" she said to her and then kissed Anne's cheeks "And you are a grandma!" now all three trembling women turned into a huge ball of shaking emotions as they embraced one another again.  
"Ladies." Ken's steady yet very enthusiastic voice filled the room and all three women, an auntie, a grandma and a sister turned around and looked at Ken who was suddenly very changed indeed. His jacket was off and his shirt was slightly buttoned open at the top, his black hair with a few silver strands was all messy, his cheeks were pink even though they are usually pale, like Hester's, and his _eyes_! Hester felt how her own eyes filled with tears all over again, for there was nothing in those grey eyes of her father's but pure joy, a phenomenon she hasn't seen ever since before the war has started. "Would you like to meet our new little miss Ford?" he asked them and all three of them gasped with delight, looking at Ken as if he had just said that the war is over.  
"Oh, daddy, it's a _girl_!" Hester cried out with a wide and beyond-than-happy smile on her face as she put her hands in her father's own and he kissed them eagerly, smiling back at her.  
"It is, my dear." he said to her as both Anne and Una started running upstairs, whispering to each other something very excitedly "But," Ken kissed Hester's forehead gently and looked into her eyes with love she always knew was in his heart "-you are no less important to us, remember that, the first beautiful daughter of ours."  
Hester kissed her father's cheeks and then took his hand and started for the stairs "I know, dad." she said to him merrily "But I don't mind you loving another daughter of yours. Oh, I _can't_ wait to meet my sister! My _sister_!" she exclaimed in delight again and Ken chuckled as they both started going upstairs, their hands holding one another.  
"A true miracle." he whispered gratefully.

As soon as Hester came inside the bedroom of her parents, the first thing that caught her attention was how bright the whole room was. It was amost as if angels from above were shining through the window and were blessing the small bundle that was now saftely in her mother's protective arms.

Everyone was inside: Gilbert and Jem, the two doctors who delivered the baby of both their daughter and sister respectively, who had just finished cleaning up and were now standing next to each other at the end of Rilla's bed; Anne and Una who were sitting on the left side of the bed, talking softly to Rilla and the baby.  
Rilla was flushed, she had faintly dark circles beneath her eyes, her auburn hair was put into a messy braid and her nightgown was dissaranged almost completely. But her eyes were reserved for the bundle she held in her arms, and the smile was for that bundle too. It was the sight which Hester would never forget, and the sight that filled her own heart with not just gratefulness, happiness and love but also with a small hope for her own self and her own future.  
Hester came over to her mother's right side and sat on the chair slowly. Only then did Rilla look up with loving eyes of her own and reached out her hand to squeeze Hester's hand, fresh tears rolling down her red cheeks "Hester, dearest," she whispered and pulled her oldest daughter gently into her arm. Rilla planted a kiss on her oldest daughter's lips and then on her cheek before letting her to sit back up on the chair again.  
"Are you alright, mummy?" Hester asked her, not letting go of her hand and still looking into her eyes.  
"Better than I was all those four years ago." Rilla replied and everyone in the room chuckled.  
"I must agree with you on that, sis." Jem said to her with a raised eyebrow and laughter grew in the room again, quietly.  
"Meet your sister, dearest." Rilla said finally and put the bundle into the hands of Hester who took the bundle like a mother herself, without any hesitation yet with care and precaution, a skill she learnt at Una's orphanage.  
Hester looked down at her little sister and gasped with wide eyes "She has _such_ long eyelashes!" she said and the people around her chuckled again. Ken crept behind Hester and squeezed her shoulder gently, looking at the bundle himself.  
"Just like Rilla herself did when she was born." Anne said softly and she and Gilbert shared a knowing glance ending with Rilla being kissed by both of her parents.

Hester looked down at the bundle again and smiled through happy tears. The baby was unbelievably beautiful. Her face was heart-shaped, her nose and lips were the shape of Hester's own and therefore the shape of their mother's too. Her eyelashes were long, incredibly long and her eyebrows quite thick. The fuzz on her hair was quite clearly auburn. Her eyes were still closed as she slept with an angelic smile on her face. "Her eyes are grey." Rilla said proudly "Like her father's." she squeezed Ken's remaining hand and looked into his eyes deeply "And like Gilly's." her voice trembled slightly as she said her oldest son's name but her smile remained on her face nonetheless.

As if the baby sensed that her sister wanted to see her eyes she yawned widely, which caused a delighftul gasp from everyone. The baby then opened up her big and round grey eyes. Hester only then realised how her cheeks were wet all over again and she quickly wiped them off with the edge of the blanket in which her baby sister was envelopped. "Just perfect." she whispered to her baby-sister with a wide smile before looking up at her parents "What's her name?" she asked and everyone's heads turned towards Mr and Mrs Ford who were looking at each other knowingly, a thousand words passing through them without voicing them at all.  
"Her name is Poppy Joyce." Ken said proudly whilst looking at the small bundle lying peacefully back asleep in her older sister's arms "Poppy for peace and luck for our boys, and Joyce for she is a joy, but also for the rememberance of the auntie of hers who was born in this very room just like she was today." Ken and Rilla looked at both Anne and Gilbert who held one another's hands by then and their eyes were filled with fresh tears as well as a wave of pride, when a small flash of heartbreak was slowly disappearing once their eyes met with little Poppy's in Hester's arms.  
"Poppy, the most perfect gift." Una said with wet cheeks as she was kissing her bosom friend's tired hand.  
"She won't ask for anything." Rilla added with her own cheeks red and wet.  
"And most definitely not for love, dearest sister." Hester whispered as Poppy's small chubby hand grasped her finger and squeezed it tightly, as if for a reassurance that even though she was only an hour old, she knew very well that she was and always would be certain of this one thing her family will be always able to give to her, and that was called love.


	26. Every Single One Of Them

**Because we are more than halfway through this story, I thought (and Andrea1984 suggested) that it would be beneficial for all you, my lovely readers, to have a Family Tree so that you'll know exactly who is who ;) Thank you all for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting this story! It truly means a lot to me. I hope that you're all having a wonderful Christmas-time with your families! Also, enjoy the new chapter! - Bathsheba Blythe**

 **FAMILY TREE**

 **James "** ** _Jem_** **" Blythe + Faith Meredith (Married in 1921) = House on the Hill, Glen St Mary**

Walter " _Walt_ " John Blythe (b. 1922)

Cecilia " _Lily_ " Una Blythe (b. 1923)

Anne " _Marion_ " Rosemary Blythe (b. 1924)

 **Anne "** ** _Nan_** **" Blythe + Gerald "** ** _Jerry_** **" Meredith (Married in 1920) = Honey Cottage, Glen St Mary**

Josephine " _Jo_ " Diana Meredith (b. 1920)

\- Fleur Hester Sutton (b. 1943)

John Noah Meredith (b. 1922)

 **Diana "** ** _Di_** **" Blythe + Jack Wright (Married in 1923) = Green Gables, Avonlea**

Ada Anne Wright (b. 1924)

David Jack Wright (b. 1925)

 **Shirley Blythe + Emma McMillan (Married in 1925) = Farm House, Four Winds**

Matthew " _Will_ " William Blythe (b. 1926)

Susan Anna Blythe (b. 1929)

Cordelia " _Delia_ " Amelia Blythe (b. 1934)

 **Bertha Marilla "** ** _Rilla_** **" Blythe + Kenneth "** ** _Ken_** **" Ford (Married in 1919) = House of Dreams, Four Winds**

Gilbert " _Gilly_ " Blythe Ford (b. 1920)

Selwyn Owen Ford (b. 1922)

Hester Leslie Ford (b. 1924)

Poppy Joyce Ford (b. 1943)

 **Thomas "** ** _Carl_** **" Meredith + Persis Ford (Married in 1923) = Gillingham, England**

Thomas " _Tom_ " John Meredith (b. 1924)

Dawn Leslie Meredith (b. 1927)

 **Bruce Meredith + Louise Jones (Married in 1938) = Kingsport, Canada**

\- Violet Flora Meredith + Rose Mary Meredith (b. 1939)

 **Una Meredith + Liam Evans (Married in 1943) = Green Cottage, Four Winds**

 **Mary Vance + Miller Douglas (Married in 1919) = Rosefield House, Four Winds**

\- Marshall Timothy Douglas (b. 1920)

\- Cornelia Martha Douglas (b. 1922)

\- Vance Una Douglas (b. 1924)

* * *

 ** _Chapter XXVI_**

12th August 1943

Dear Diary,

Today was the day. Auntie Una is no longer Una Meredith but she is now Una Evans and officially a wife to Liam. I could not be happier for the two of them and especially Auntie. She was glowing today and I couldn't for the entire world see where and _how_ she is actually forty-seven years old! She looked no more than thirty! She wore her mother's wedding dress, Grandma's Cecilia's. It is grey now even though as Grandpa John emphasised it was pure white once, but I swear I haven't seen a more beautiful dress. It was laced with a lovely flower pattern. The whole of last month my own Mum and my other Aunties spent hours adding small beads, which look like little pearls, to it. Such beauty this dress is! And what a beauty our Auntie Una was today (not that she isn't on any other day but on this day _especially_ so)!

Her face was glowing, her cheeks were pink, her black hair was tied carefully behind and she had a flower crown underneath her veil, a veil of Grandma's Rosemary. Grandpa John walked her down the aisle to the smiling and beyond happy (not to mention very handsome) Liam Evans who took Auntie Una's hands in his own and I promise you that what passed between the two of them when they took one another's hands in that moment was something I will _never_ forget, ever. It was simply _magic_.

I was a bridesmaid, so were Vance, Marion, Lily (who came back from her training in Toronto for only this one special day!), Ada and Daria too. Susan was a flower girl and she was simply the prettiest girl today in her pink dress which made her look so sweet and timid as she always is, I could kiss her all day long, even though she is fourteen years old already! Delia, Susan's sister, too was a flower girl and she looked just as delicious and because she _is_ younger of the whole eight years, I _did_ kiss her cheeks all day long. Our dresses as bridesmaids were beige and very fancy indeed (even though they were made from old dresses of our mothers!) and I must say that I felt very much like a princess on that day too, especially because Auntie Nan and her daughter Jo themselves made for us the flower crowns and put them on our heads as if we were nothing but royalty.

The party was wonderful and we danced and sang all the time. I played my cello and a violin for everyone and I wasn't even scared to do it this time, probably because it was such a perfect in every way day. Lily was there, and we were _so_ glad because of that! She was talking about how excited and ready she already feels to go overseas and, of course, we do worry about her but yet we know that she'll be fine either ways.

Una and Liam settled down at their small but cosy house in… Four Winds! Only four _minutes_ away from our very own House of Dreams! It is quite literally a dream come true for everyone, including myself for I love Auntie Una, I always did, I do and I always will.

Poppy didn't cry at all during the day and instead she was gurgling and making those adorable sounds which I truly adore. I _cannot_ get enough of my little sister (neither can Daria to be quite honest!) and today she was dressed in the sweetest blue dress with tiny white shoes on her small feet. Her auburn fuzz is already very much visible and her dress really matched that hair of hers. We took quite a lot of family photographs and I can't wait to send them to Gilly and Selwyn. Especially to show them another photograph of their sisters, Poppy and Daria who both looked delighftul today.

Did I write in here about my brothers' reaction to the arrival of little Poppy? I don't think I had time to do so but I'll write it down now. Gilly wrote that he cried with happiness when he received the telegram about the arrival of Poppy which made his heart not only burn with pain that he can't see her right here and right now but also because he is so happy that our family is getting bigger and that he has _another_ sister to tease in the future. Selwyn also weeped over the news and wished he was here more than he wished before. My heart cries at that very thought but at the same time I know that it was God's will for them not to be here at the birth of Poppy, _why_ we might never know, but it was.

I can't wait for them to see her eventually, whenever that might be. I can't still quite believe that I am not their only sister now. But I don't mind that at all, I love little Poppy to the core of my heart and I would never swap her for anyone nor anything. She is our treasure, just like our Fleur, Jo's little duaghter who grows so fast it's hardly possible to acknowledge! Fleur's already trying to walk! It is truly wonderful to have two small babies in our family. They add this very much needed hope for the better days to come and I absolutely adore spending time with both Poppy and Fleur.

Darling Daria was very much wistful that she wasn't there when Poppy was born but then I told her that everything happens for a reason and after all now she can spend all her free time with her and my own new sister. I still can't quite believe that Poppy is almost a month old already and yet it seems to me that there was never a time when she actually wasn't here with us! Mum is simply overwhelmed with her, in a positive way that is. She is still a bit weak after her birth and that is why I don't have as much lessons as I normally would. I stay at home for as much as I can, helping to clean and cook as well as take care of Poppy when Mums has to go for a meeting at the Red Cross. I do not mind any of that at all.

I think I was born to be a mother. Yes, _of course_ , I was born to be a musician, to play my wonderful cello and a violin, as well as the piano. I love music and it is my greatest passion which I nurture inside of my heart every day as I always have been. But children, babies and taking care of them is something different, it's _this_ something. When I was very little, about seven years old, I wanted to have four children. Two boys and two girls I was always saying. Then the war started and I didn't think about that kind of thing at all. Then Seb came into my life so unexpectadly and this old/new dream of mine came back to its surface and I could see it so very clearly in my mind, I even imagined the faces of the children we would have together… _Oh_ … It all seems so far _far_ away and such a long time ago when I was thinking those thoughts! It's been only a few months though! Seb then left for the front but this dream stayed with me. I suppose that's because I didn't want it to go away.

Those dreams stayed with me also because I've started helping out in Auntie Una's orphanage. It might be only once a week, but it is that one day a week when I see those little darlings, all in different ages but all with beautiful little souls that still need nurturing of them. Also, at the orphanage, I learnt so many new things about how to actually _care_ for the children, especially the littlest ones. I almost feel like a new mother myself whilst putting those angels, who just fell asleep on my shoulders, back into their cots.

When Fleur was born and I saw that new version of my dear Jo, for a moment I have to admit, I actually _envied_ her, for having this little baby of her own, no matter the circumstances in which Jo actually did become pregnant. Then, of course, this feeling vanished and I do love our dearest Fleur and she's is a dear little baby girl and her mama is the best mama she could ever get (even though Jo questions it way too many times during the day).

And now the sweet sister of mine, Poppy, has made her arrival. Because I care for her even though less than Mum of course, I still _do_ and this dream of mine is constantly reappearing now and then, especially before I go to sleep and just when I lie in my bed awake, after saying my prayer. I know I am young, I know I don't have any kind of sweetheart or a "crush" as some say. But I also know that I've always been very mature for my age and that is another reason why I think of my future in those terms more frequently than I used to before. I seek settlement. That's what it is. How will I actually achieve it, though? God knows how and when. It's exciting to know (and a bit scary) to know that it's coming my way.

I shall be going to sleep now, it's already almost midnight and after the whole long and exhaustingly wonderful day I _do_ need a rest whether I like it or not. Sleep is _such_ a waste of time!

Oh, one more thing! Daria is trying to teach me a bit of Polish and I must say that well, as beautiful as this language is, it is very, _very_ hard for me to learn it! Daria is always laughing at the funny way I say words she says with such elegance and no effort at all. I don't mind learning, though! I laugh along with her!

Goodnight then,

Or as the Polish people would say it (and what Daria says to me every night):

Dobranoc,

Yours,

Hester

* * *

"I still can't get my head around it." Ada said.

"Neither can I." Jo sighed.

"Will is _only_ seventeen years old!" Hester said with worry in her voice.

"He doesn't know what he's about to do…" Daria shook her head.

"He'll be alright though." Vance said quietly.

"I agree." Marion said just as quietly "He will."

Hester sat on the blanket in the garden of the House of Dreams. She was surrounded by Jo with little Fleur sleeping peacefully in her arms, Ada who was in Four Winds for that very last day before going back to Avonlea, Daria who was now braiding Jo's brown locks from behind, and finally Vance and Marion who were sitting on each side of Hester, looking at one another as if trying to read each other's minds with no difficulty at all.

It could have been cold and raining, and so very much the opposite to the weather that actually occured on that day, and all of them would not be able to be more downhearted and worried about their cousin Will. Will turned seventeen a week earlier and without telling anyone about it, he went to town and came back in the evening in a brand new uniform of the Land Army with a slip of paper stating that he'll be going for training in only three days time.

Of course, Will lied about his age but because he already looked more than twenty years old anyway, he passed the first examination and was allowed to enlist. When he came back home he found his mother, Emma, sisters Susan and Delia along with his father Shirley in such a state of worry and yet cetrainty of what he was doing at the time when he wasn't at home, that once he was inside of his home everyone embraced him and prayed over his head. There was no point in arguing or questioning his actions, the only sensible thing to do for not just Will's sisters and parents but his entire family was to simply hope for the best.

However, it was very hard to believe that now Will too was in the army and almost ready to face all the horrors of this war which seemed to have been going on since forever, Hester thought. Now there was no one in Hester's family, not a single boy left who wasn't involved in the horrors of the war. "He's so young." Jo sighed and looked down on her daughter who was sucking her thumb and she grinned lightly at her.

"They all are." Hester said with a frown of worry and wistfulness on her face "I don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of this war with _everyone_ I love dearest and who is a man," she looked briefly at Ada who squeezed her hand "-is near danger and horror at the front. _Everyone_!" she put her hands in despair on her flushed face when a few, fresh tears started to come out of her hazel eyes.

Daria embraced her so quickly that it almost surprised the girls around them " _Kochanie_ ," she said to her softly while stroking her hair "You are _so_ strong, Hester! You must know and feel, at least, that they will be alright, I hope you do."

Hester looked up at Daria and wiped away her tears "I _always_ hope." she said "But sometimes I'm so _tired_ of hoping, I just feel angry. Angry at the war, at our own boys and that they actually did enlist and they do want to fight…" she sighed deeply and calmed herself down a bit "Am I a horrible person?" she asked her friends.

"Not a bit, dear." Ada put a hand on Hester's arm "I think we're all angry at the exact same things from time to time." she and Hester smiled at each other knowingly.

"War is horrible, Hester." Jo said "Not you or any of us." she grinned at her then and the other girls around her returned the grin.

"They will all be fine." Marion said again with a certain small smile of her own.

"Every single one of them." Vance added with her clasped hands and a timid grin on her own pale face. Hester could see a certain flicker in Vance's eyes, the one that spoke to her and to her only because of the fact that just a day before Selwyn came back to the front. Suddenly the atmosphere was broken by Fleur who opened her eyes suddenly and started hiccuping in that funny and darling way while gigling along the way as if she had just heard the funniest of all the jokes out there.

Suddenly the atmosphere was broken by Fleur who opened her eyes and started hiccuping in that funny and darling way while giggling along the way as if she had just heard the funniest of all the jokes out there. All the girls looked at one another and then at the little girl in Jo's arms and each of them started to laugh suddenly and light-heartedily without any effort at all. The echoes of their laughter were spreading right across the garden and straight into the ocean nearby, and Hester thought that maybe somehow it reached their boys too, every single one of them.


	27. Everything Happens For A Reason

**Hello, my lovely readers! I want to wish you all a wonderful New Year of 2017. I hope you will experience the greatest happiness a person can ever get and that you'll make such memories that will last a lifetime and more. Happy New Year everyone! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Enjoy the new chapter :) - Bathsheba Blythe**

 ** _Chapter XXVII_**

23rd September 1943

Dearest Phillip,

I am extremely glad that you're well, especially with all the worrying news coming over from overseas and your Italy too. The Germans really do try their best to take over this whole, as you said yourself so many times before, beautiful country but I don't care about that at all as long as _you_ 're alright, my dear friend. Please, always take care, my darling Phillip, you know that I can pray for you and hope for the best but after all it is also some part that _you_ play into having at least a small bit of safety.

Yes, I am alright too, just incredibly busy. So busy indeed that I am writing this letter to you at eleven at night, and I have to wake up at six in the morning! So many things have happened during the last four days since I've written to you that you won't believe it until I'll write it all here in this letter to you.

Firstly, David left for France on Monday and he is to arrive there, at the front I mean, in two days time. We all keep our fingers crossed for him and we hope that he'll be sent over to the trenches with Selwyn, as they were and still are very close friends. I suppose there's nothing else for us to do now but to wait for his first letter from the battlefield.

Will is all good and training hard as he said in his last letter to me. I still can't believe that all of those boys who are my brothers, cousins and friends (yes, this includes you, my dear Phillip) are now truly and wholly involved in this war. It feels so terrifying but yet it somehow gives me hope that this war will come to an end quicker because of you all being involved in it. Oh, I would give _everything_ , truly every money I've made so far, all of my clothes and possessions so that this war would end right now and you, all of you, would come back home safely.

Cornelia is now very impatiently waiting for Lily to join her at her hospital. Yes, Lily is now on the ship over the ocean, crossing it just like you did, Phillip, and she's excited and ready, too excited and too ready I almost think. I do hope that this spark in her eyes will never vanish or even faint a little because of the journey she's about to embark. You know Lily yourself, she is just this happy and bright spot in your life with those red locks of hers and freckles all over her face, the halo of optimism floating above her like a magical aura. That is exactly why I hope that whatever she'll see and do, she'll never change or at least not for the worse in any way.

Lily left and you won't believe it: a day after her very own little sister has fallen in love! Yes, Phillip, I know that right in this moment your jaw has dropped and you're staring at this piece of paper with a smile on your face but it is the truth, I am not lying and you know that I never do anyway.

His name is Harry Newton and he is the new Science teacher at Marion's school, which is, of course, as you know Glen's school. I saw him yesterday when he was walking Marion back to Ingleside for the tea and biscuits Grandma Anne and Grandpa Gilbert promised for me and Vance after our day at the orphanage and for Marion after a day at school. He is _very_ handsome indeed. He's not very tall but he's not short either. He is very well built, though, and Grandpa thought, when he saw him, that he was a born swimmer and Marion confirmed that later on. Mr Newton has a delightful face with bright blue eyes, small lips, and very dark hair on the top of his head.

Most important of all, however: he had eyes _only_ for Marion.

You have no idea how overwhelmed by this phenomenon I am but also how excited, intrigued and joyful I am about this whole new situation! I mean, of course, they've just met, a few days ago only but it's as clear as day what they feel about each other simply by seeing them gazing into one another's eyes.

Marion told Vance and me immediately and now the whole family knows anyway because we've all met Harry yesterday at that tea at Ingleside. I'm very interested to read about Lily's reaction to this news. Marion told me that the minute she saw him in the staff's room, looking up from his cup of water, she just knew that he's the "one" and now she is simply muddled up in the process called love.

Phillip, you know the other side of how I must feel about it. How much I yearn for something like this! To just _know_ , plain as day, as soon as you _see_ this one person, this stranger to be exact, that this is the person you'll marry one day. Marion described her seeing Harry for the first time like accidentally falling into the lake, it's terrifying at first and you're shocked for sure but then you laugh as soon as you reach the surface again and you then swim across it, wishing to never go back to the shore again.

It is truly wonderful, however, and I wish for both of them to (if they truly _are_ meant to be together!) simply always be happy with their other half. Isn't happiness the key to everything, after all? What do _you t_ hink, Phillip?

But here comes the news which I just… Well… I never thought I'd have to say. Vance's brother, Marshall, has been reported "wounded and missing" today.

I was eating breakfast at the window (like I usually do) while Mum was nursing Poppy on the couch, and I saw Vance running madly in the direction of the House of Dreams. I dropped the plate to the floor and thankfully (I don't even know how) it didn't break but it scared both Mum and Poppy. After apologising to both, I ran out of the house onto the lane, expecting either the worst or the best news Vance running like that could bring to us in the morning.

When she fell into my arms and weeped breathlessly I knew that it definitely was not the best news, they were not happy tears at all. She then told me and I too felt my eyes filling with tears even though I didn't let them roll down my cheeks. It took me a while to calm Vance down and send her back home but I achieved this goal more or less smoothly and so off she went, slowly this time. I watched her go and I couldn't move for a few minutes at all.

It's the third boy out of our family to get reported "wounded and missing" (and yes, Marshall _is_ the part of my family too just like his sisters are) and I don't like that at all, it's absolutely _horrible_ and nerve-wracking. I'm not sure how Gilly feels right now, with his very bestest of all friends gone missing somehwere where he can't find him on his own no matter how much he'd try and Gilly _would_ try everything to find Marshall, if he could.

I never liked Marshall, you know that yourself. He always used to tease me. Even when he was going off to the training camp and I was already fifteen years old (which seems such a long time ago!) he still called me a "kid" even though I already didn't feel like a child anymore. _Not_ only that! A day before his going off to training with Gilly, he actually put his feet up and I fell straight into the moody patch of flowers (it was a warm day in January and so the snow was beginning to melt)! How much I actually _hated_ him that day! But Gilly, being my protective older brother, slapped the back of Marshall's head and told him off. Marshall apologised but winked at me anyway, and I remember very well that I clenched my fists at this and you know that I _never_ do such a thing.

However, when I was standing there on that lane, watching his sister and one of my bosom friends walking back to her home with her wet cheeks and shaking hands from worry and fear, I couldn't feel anything but worry in my own heart. I'll pray for Marshall Douglas tonight, I always prayed for his safety but tonight I will pray for him especially. I'll pray to get him home safetly and without any bruise or a scar whatsoever. Funny, how our perspectives and views change when the world around us turns into this unpredictable globe of war. I hope Marshall will be fine. He _must_ be!

I can hear Poppy's about to cry and because I know that Mum had a very hard afternoon with her as she has a colic, I will be going and trying to comfort her, never mind the late hour. Daria does it sometimes but I'll let her sleep too.

Goodnight dear friend,

Stay safe, wherever you are,

Goodnight,

Yours,

Hester

* * *

Just like that, when October has only started, Hester found herself rushing through the road leading up to her aunt Nan's and uncle Jerry's house just like she was back in February that year. She was walking there with actually the same amount of worry in her heart as she did those few months earlier.

A day before that morning her family got a telegram from Will saying that he has just arrived in England and will be sent to the front in France the day after which was today. That in itself made Hester's fingers twitch with nerves but now, or rather half an hour earlier, she got a 'phone call from the Honey Cottage with Nan saying that Jo has just received a telegram announcing death of Cal Sutton and she has been crying in her pillow ever since, not wanting to see anyone but "her Hester and Daria" and so Hester, as well as Daria, quickly put on their coats over their nightgowns and rushed outside their home and onto the lane both of them knew very well.

"Do you think she'll be fine?" Daria asked Hester whilst both were walking hurriedly arm-in-arm, closing their eyes from time to time as the autumn's wind was gushing into their eyes.

"She must be." Hester replied "But I don't think she'll be entirely fine today." and both shared a knowing and full of worry look while continuing on walking.

Jerry opened the door to them both with a tired look upon his face and little Fleur smiling in his arms whilst putting her small fists into her mouth. He smiled, though, when he saw both Hester and Daria ready for the battle ahead of them "Come on in, girls." he said and so they did "Would you like something to eat or drink before you'll go up and see Jo?" he asked them and that was when Nan rushed downstairs and upon seeing Hester and Daria she kissed both of their faces tenderly.

"I can't deal with this child of mine." she announced helplessly "She won't listen to anything I say! Thank you so much you came, my dears!" she smiled weakly at her nieces and they smiled back at her, listening out for the faint weeping from upstairs.

"I don't think we'll eat or drink anything just yet." Daria said eventually and Hester nodded along.

"No, we'll go and see to Jo first of all." Hester added as Daria took the reaching out to her Fleur into her arms "And we'll take Fleur, Jo might feel better perhaps because of her company." and so she smiled knowingly at Daria and the baby-girl she held and off they went straight into Jo's room.

Jo was lying on her pillow, her face buried inside of it and her body shaking slowly, not hysterically like Hester feared, but trembling nontheless. Hester then closed the door behind Daria and herself. Hester came over from behind Jo and put her hands on Jo's shoulders as she turned around finally. "Oh, thank _God_ you're here!" she gasped out quietly, her cheeks not only red but wet as well. Hester realised then that she has never seen Jo in such a state before, not even when she was giving birth to Fleur. Jo from the past would definitely disapprove of that mess of a hair and a face in which she was at that moment.

Daria sat down next to Hester and placed Fleur near Jo who took her into her arms instantly and kissed her cheeks fiercely as Fleur played with Jo's messy hair. Nobody said anything for a moment and it was only when Jo put Fleur back on the bed and gave her a doll to play with, was when she turned back to her two friends with trembling lip "He was shot in the chest. An instant death they said in the telegram." she whispered, trying not to disturb or worry her daughter.

Hester embraced Jo immediately and Daria did too from the other side. "We're so sorry, Jo, kochanie." Daria said to her calmly and kindly at the same time.

"It will be better with time, dear." Hester added with a soft shaking of her own fingers.

"But he was my _husband_!" she gasped out quietly, a new wave of tears falling down her cheeks as she finally looked at both of them again "Not lawfully, of course, but of my heart! He _was_!" she put her hands on her face again and then shook them off once more, taking a deep breath "I know that when I found out that I was pregnant with Fleur I wasn't exactly sure about Cal or our engagement." she said more calmly now as Hester gave her a handkerchief "But then we were writing to one another every day, and I was sending him photographs of my belly getting bigger and then of Fleur…" she looked at her sweet daughter and smiled all of a sudden, even though a few tears were rolling down her cheeks still "And he was just so overjoyed that he has a daughter and that I agreed to our engagement and just…" she gulped and pushed another wave of tears again as Hester squeezed her left hand and Daria squeezed her right one.

"You never told us this, Jo." Hester said to her eventually, softly.

Jo looked up at Hester and grinned weakly at her "It was my sweet, little secret." she replied "I didn't love Cal when I found out we're going to have a baby or when we got engaged when he was already at the front, but I _did_ love him… after all of this." her eyes were overshadowed again and she sighed deeply "And he loved _me_ too." she let the fresh tears to roll down her cheeks once more "And he loved our baby as well." she looked at the oblivious Fleur who was happily playing with a thread coming from the back of Hester's coat.

Daria kissed Jo's cheek as Hester squeezed her hand once again "Jo, I won't tell you that you shouldn't cry or grieve after Cal." Hester said to Jo finally "But, dear, do you know how lucky you are in a way? You experienced _real_ love, something that didn't happen to me at all, and he gave you the greatest gift he could, your very own daughter." she felt how her own eyes were filling with tears as she put Fleur into the arms of Jo who kissed the infant's head tenderly, still looking at Hester and listening to her attentively "She is the greatest gift anyone can ever receive from another person. I know that even though I don't have any children of my own." Hester looked at Fleur and she smiled down at her as her own cheeks were already wet.

"Rejoice in the little flower over here, Jo." Daria added with a smile "She needs you and you need her. Also, remember not to ever close your heart to the world." Daria's eyes filled with a sudden shadow which disappeared with another smile she directed at Jo "When everyone from my family died, I thought that there is no reason for me to live either. That the world was and is unfair but I was wrong. There's always a purpose in everyone's lives, kochanie, and in your own life too." she patted Fleur's chubby hand and then squeezed Jo's hand again.

"You're both so right." Jo smiled at both Hester and Daria and then at her baby "And I'll do just that. I will be rejoicing in this baby of mine, Cal's own skin and blood." she kissed Fleur's chubby cheek once more, chuckling wistfully while wiping away her tears "She does have his eyes and she always will.". As if Fleur knew that she was the topic of the conversation, she looked up swiftly and started to squeak joyfully at their faces, apparently finding them hilarious. Daria was the first one to start laughing, then it was Hester and eventually Jo too let out a quiet giggle which Hester knew in time would be more cheerful.

Nan and Jerry were donwstairs in their living room, sitting next to each other on the sofa when they heard the giggle of their granddaughter. They smiled at one another, as they held each other's hands "Everything happens for a reason, don't you think, dearest?" Jerry asked his wife who leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips and look into his eyes which she could read like a book.

"I don't know, Jerry," she replied quietly, grinning with soft tears in her eyes "-I'm _sure_ of it."


	28. New Year, New Possibilities

**_Chapter XXVIII_**

1st January 1944

Dear Diary,

Today is the very first day of a completely new year, the year of 1944. Could it be the year everyone around the world has been waiting for and the war will finally come to an end? _I_ don't know, but I still have hope and trust that it might be just that.

I haven't written in here for almost two weeks now. It happened _again_ , I know but today is the new year and so my resolution is to truly do write regularly even though I am very busy indeed. I have two new cello students and the work has to be done. However, don't get me wrong, I _adore_ my job, be it teaching music, helping out in Auntie Una's orphanage or simply doing work for the Red Cross, I love it all but there is simply not enough hours in a day for me to do all of this and not feel tired.

I still have to write about Christmas though. It was at Ingleside this year and there was snow as usual. Thank God there was snow! Without it something about Christmas would be missing, I think, I'm simply too accustomed to having a snowy Christmas. I do love its magic, especially in the silent yet full of life Rainbow Valley. It was such a beautiful Christmas despite the war, the war news, all of our boys at the front and with now even Lily overseas and everything combined together. It was truly a wonderful Christmas, a bit lonely for sure, but wonderful nonetheless.

It was both Poppy's and Fleur's first Christmas and oh, my dear, how pretty both of those girls are! Poppy, quoting my parents, looks just like _me_ when I was her age only Poppy has red hair and Dad's grey eyes. The shape of her face is apparently just like mine, the shape of her lips and eyes too, everything apart from the colour of her hair and eyes and I _cannot_ believe it! She is simply the sweetest, the most adorable and the funniest at that too. She's more than six months old now and she's laughing so much, as well as smiling! It's simply the best to observe both Poppy and Fleur having a conversation with each other in their own language. It was truly a darling new tradition added to our Christmas celebrations.

But, of course, there will be another baby next Christmas and I still can't believe it, not quite at all! Auntie Una is simply glowing with her still only slightly showing stomach. Her skin shines and her eyes have a gleam nobody of us have ever seen in them before. The same gleam is in her Liam's eyes and I think that they couldn't be happier for that miracle they've both created. It is truly a _miracle_ because well, I don't like to say it but Auntie _is_ going to turn forty-eight years old this year of 1944 after all. That is exactly why, even though we're the happiest about the news, we _do_ worry about her but she is cautious herself and is always sitting and trying not to walk too much. In a way, it is good that Auntie is forbidden to walk too much because now she has stopped working at the orphanage and instead stays at the House of Dreams the whole day, whilst waiting for Liam to come back home from his office in Charlottetown (driving back with Dad as they both work in the same city, coincidentally). It will be a June baby and we can't wait to see whether the baby will be another girl and if yes then that will be simply beautiful to see those three little girls grow up together as best friends… _But_ even if it will be a boy, I know one thing for sure: he will be loved and cared for just the same.

Grandma Leslie and Grandpa Owen couldn't get enough of Poppy during Christmas as it was only their second time when they've seen their newest grandchild. Mum was jealous, I could see it very clearly, but at the same time, she _does_ need that bit of time off which neither I or Dad can provide for her very often with both of us working almost every day.

Grandma Anne and Grandpa Gilbert constantly keep on marvelling at the thought of Poppy's resemblance to their very first child who was also born in the same house as Poppy was. I'm writing here about Joyce, of course, and therefore the very person Poppy has her middle name after. Both Grandma and Grandpa Blythe spend so much time with both Poppy and Fleur that Grandma said herself: "It makes me feel a lot deal younger than I really am by simply holding my grandchild in my arms rather than to know that my oldest grandchild will be twenty-five years old next year!" and she was, obviously, talking about Gilly and that fact is a very strange fact indeed. My oldest brother a twenty-five-year-old! I sometimes still can't believe the fact that he _does_ have a wife and that wife is my very own best friend at that.

Daria was an absolute star, an angel, I should say really, during Christmas. Not only she and Grandpa Owen became very close by his very wide interest in her Polish roots, but she also sang for us Polish carols. This language is so very beautiful, extremely hard to learn, but beautiful despite (or maybe because of?) that and we all had tears in our eyes when she finished her performance, she truly has one of the finest voices I've heard in my life.

Jo is herself again. She started being herself once the preparations for Christmas strarted and I am glad that her mourning for Cal had finished and that the small moments of happiness and joy came back into her life. I think that without Fleur she wouldn't be able to come out of that grief, or at least not as soon as she did, but her little baby girl is "everything I ever wanted, want or ever will want".

Oh! And there was a brilliant news a day after Christmas! Walt is officially a _Captain_ Blythe now and we could not be more proud of him. I wish I could see Lily's face when she was reading that news, but Marion's was quite satisfying as _she_ jumped and squeaked at the same time when she found out.

I myself will be jumping from one event to another throughout this entire entry so bear with me whoever is reading it in the future.

Lily is writing to me constantly and I reply to her also without any delay. She's very happy working at the hospital in Southampton and she says that she enjoys having the sea near her, it reminds her a bit of home. She has visited London and says that it is one of those cities where everyone can find a place which they can call home. Now, she knows why so many of the locals refused to leave it despite the Blitz. She has also visited Dover and the "white cliffs" and wrote: "Hester, when I'll start my work as a lawyer and I'll save up some money, I am moving to Dover, and I will build a house on the very top of those cliffs and live there forever and ever _and ever_." and I truly hope that if it is her dream, may she do it.

She also wrote to me in her last letter that she started to write with John more often and that her hopes are at their highest right now so, of course, I had to write her back to calm herself down a little because, for sure, hope and optimism is all Lily but, after all, only God knows whether she and John will end up together. She simply has to start thinking about other things and when writing to John, she has to try not to think about each word she writes down to him. I know Lily and I know that that's exactly what she's doing and so I wrote her not to and "just be yourself" and I know she will.

Lily's sister, however, Marion, is no longer nineteen and 'never been kissed'! She indeed _was_ kissed by no one else but Harry Newton under nothing _but_ a mistletoe on Christmas Eve. I haven't seen them, nobody did, but Marion told all of us about it and we're very much excited and happy for her. She said that it was very romantic (as it _should_!) and that Harry took her hands and told her that even though they know each for only a few months, he already knows his feelings for her are those of romance and love. Marion had tears in her eyes, her hands shook, but she replied "I love you too, Harry." and after both of them smiled at each other, Harry pointed at the mistletoe above them (of which he was aware but Marion was not) and so he kissed her _and_ he kissed her again.

So our darling Marion, who once wanted to be a missionary or maybe even a nun, has a sweetheart of her own now. I'm so terribly happy for her because I don't think I've ever seen her so… outspoken, flushed and simply… _Marion_ in her best. Her true self came out and it's showing itself to the world at last and there's nothing better than this that this world needs right now, especially at the time of war.

I won't say that under this feeling of joy and gladness doesn't lie a little piece of regret for my own self. There isn't a week when I don't think at least once about my past relationship with Seb. I know it's silly, it's been quite a while since the last time he told me he loved me and especially since the time I got a letter from him saying that he's engaged to Flora.

Of course, I've forgiven Seb and I've forgiven Flora too. It's been a few long months after all. What I feel now is simply this void which has been left carelessly by Seb as his love for him evaporated from my heart slowly but steadily. Sometimes, I even wish that we've never had those months of us being sweethearts and writing love-letters to each other so that I wouldn't know of the existance of that void because it simply wouldn't have ever been created. But then I remember all the feelings I had in my heart and soul and I don't think I would like to change any of that. After all, those months were one of the happiest I had during this war.

I adore hearing all the stories and memories Daria shares with Gilly. She told me how she found out she loved him and apparently it was only a day before he kissed her for the first time. When he was sleeping on his hospital bed and Daria was meant to bring food to each of the soldiers in the ward, she came into Gil's. She simply looked at his face which was "so handsome, and shiny from the sun coming through the window that I couldn't stop staring at him for at least a minute! I couldn't stop because my heart was pounding so fast that it scared me at first but then the realisation dawned on me and I knew, I _knew_ that Gilbert Ford is the only man with whom I could spend my life, whether he'd like that or not." and, undoubtedly, Gil knew better and he kissed Daria a day after, and then, as they say, the rest is history.

I sometimes imagine how I'd meet that man at whom I'll look one day and say that whether he likes it or not he'll spend his life with me and I with him. Even though I imagine this scene of meeting _him_ in different variations, I always say to myself: stop, Hester, _stop_! Because who knows _when_ I'll meet him? And what if I already _did_? The very thought makes my heart jump. It's the first day of the new year. Will this year be _the_ year when I will look at that one man and he'll look at me and we'll just _know_? I hope it will be.

Selwyn recently wrote to me in his letter (as I did tell him something along those lines in my letter to him before New Year's): "Hester, you'll find him, dearest sister, or rather I even think that _he_ 'll find you. If he won't see you at first (which is unlikely) he'll hear your music and if he doesn't fall in love with you at its sound, he's not worth you one single bit.". How much I miss my dearest, poetic brother… I hope he and all the other people I hold very close and dear to my heart will come back home soon.

Oh! I can see Vance running to the House of Dreams! God, oh, God _what_ is happening?! I'll come and meet her, I'll be back soon.

 _I'm back_! Simply _wonderful_ news! I ran downstairs and out of the house, not even bothering with the coat at all. Dad, Mum, Daria and Poppy are at Auntie Una's and Uncle Liam's so I am in our house by myself for a while. I wanted to write letters and in this diary too, so that is why nobody could reprimand me for not wearing the appropriate amount of clothing when it's so cold and snowy outside!

Vance was in a messy dress and a hurriedly put on winter coat. Her cheeks were flushed and they were wet from tears. I caught her in my arms and thought that now something definitely dreadful happened to Marshall but then she looked up at me and smiled so widely I could feel how my own eyes were filling with tears. "Marshall was _found_!" she breathed out happily, clinging to my hands as if for both hers and his lives "He's in a hospital in France!"

And so we ended up embracing one another tightly. Marshall indeed was found and even though his injuries are quite serious they are not life threatening, that's what the telegram said. Vance doesn't know all the details just yet and she said to me that she doesn't mind not knowing for as long as she knows that her brother isn't going to die and is safe now. And _that_ he is. He has recently been promoted to the "Air Commadore" along with Gilly, as I said in the last entry in this diary, and so Vance hopes that maybe they will let Marshall come to Canada for a bit to rest instead of the hospital in France, this is only a possibility but we shall see. Miracles _do_ happen.

Vance came back home, she and her mother will be doing cookies tonight and they'll bring them to the orphanage today so she has quite a busy day today herself.

I wonder if Marshall has changed. I don't write to him really, I know how he's doing from Gil's letters and that's it really so I'm interested if he has changed because it might also show me if _Gilly_ has changed. I hope they didn't change at all, _yes_ , I do hope that Marshall Douglas who has always teased me and angered me to very core of my being didn't change either, I really _do_ hope so. Speculations, oh, those speculations. We'll see in time. That's the case with me, the war has made me _impatient_. I _have_ to wait. I don't have any other choice, none of us do.

I shall be getting ready now and by that I mean my hair which is in a complete mess. I have to then prepare the lesson for my sweet pianist who is only six-years-old but extremely gentleman-like, and of a name Jamie. Sweet, little darling. I _do_ have to prepare this new lesson which I have today in the afternoon so thank goodness I still have five hours till then.

I swear this time _is_ flying by (sometimes)! It will be the year of 1945 next time I blink. I'm sure this year of 1944 will fly. Or _will it_?

Yours,

Hester


	29. Something Unexpected

**_Chapter XXIX_**

Without warning, February knocked on the doors of the world and there was no escaping its chilly winds. There was no wind on that day, though. There was the sun and a blue sky instead and it seemed to Hester as if the world was trying to tell her that good things would come, even though there soon would be the freezing to bones wind and snow before those sunny and bright days would occur.

Hester was walking back from the orphanage with Vance by her side. Their hands held the baskets which were always full of cakes and sandwiches made by Rilla, Mary, Una and Anne for the children, as well as all the knitting that both of the girls were always bringing to do for the Red Cross while the "nap time". Now the baskets were only filled with the needles and wool but nonetheless they were carrying them proudly with their newly knitted gloves on. They looked rather like children themselves then, with flushed cheeks and messy hair even though both were supposed to turn twenty years old in a few months time.

Una, of course, couldn't join them on that walk as before she had become pregnant she was their companion or rather _they_ were hers. Now, that she was expecting a child of her own to appear in this world in just four months she stayed at home even though she always yearned to hear the stories of "her babies" once Hester and Vance would get back home and meet her there.

"I can't believe that little Fleur is already one-year-old!" Hester said joyfully "It seems to me that she was born only three months ago at the most."

Vance smiled and her bright blue eyes sparkled just like Hester's hazel eyes did "She's the sweetest baby." she agreed "Just as your Poppy is."

Hester smiled even wider "Poppy _is_ adorable." Hester admitted without a moment hesitation "And, you know, when mum showed me the photograph of me when I was her age, it truly is true what everyone is saying and she really does have my face! Only the eyes and the hair are the only features which are different!" she chuckled and so did Vance.

"That only means that she's beautiful. And she is." she looked at Hester and both shared a knowing smile and a glance.

"Thank you, dear friend o'mine." Hester said merrily "Speaking of babies, did you hear what auntie Louise's Bruce replied to him receiving the newest photographs of his twins?" she asked her.

"No, but I can imagine that he was shocked by how much Rose and Violet have grown since he last saw them." Vance smiled a bit wistfully at the thought and so did Hester before her smile turned a bit brighter.

"He was indeed." she agreed "He said: " _Blimey_ , we knew what we were doing when we were naming them after flowers!". Doesn't it sound so much like our cousin Bruce?" Hester glanced at Vance and both smiled at one another.

"Very much, I agree." Vance grinned "They are going to be five years old next month." she added with disbelief.

"Yes, they _are_ and it's almost scary to think of how fast the time flies…" Hester said and then frowned slightly "But then sometimes it doesn't fly so fast, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." Vance said quietly, her eyes following movements of her shoes.

"What is it, Vance?" Hester asked her worriedly, catching her hand even though she still held a basket in it "Is something bothering you?"

Vance looked up at Hester and sighed softly while putting a strand of her blonde lock behind her ear "You always know if something is bothering me, don't you, Hester?" she smiled weakly.

"I _am_ your friend, Vance." Hester smiled back "Tell me, please."

"Hester," she stopped for a second and both girls put down their baskets, holding each other's hands now "-I worry about Selwyn." Vance said finally, her eyes filling with tears suddenly.

"What, Vance?" Hester looked deeper into her eyes, her own growing more worried with each second "What do you mean?" she asked nervously.

"No, no, Hester, that's nothing of _that_ sort." Vance squeezed Hester's hands and her friend relaxed slightly but not entirely "I just… I know that he hasn't been writing that much to any of us for a long time now and even though it worries me and I know it also worries you…" Hester nodded at that slowly "He recently wrote to me that he had _those_ thoughts and he decided that he feels that once… I mean… _if_ ," she gulped suddenly "-he'll come back home, he _never_ wants to marry anyone, ever." and just like that tears started to fall down her crimson cheeks.

Hester pulled her friend into a tight embrace and her own cheeks felt wet as well. "Oh, Vance…" she whispered into her ear with her own shaky voice "I'm sure he's only saying that now because he's in the trenches, and with no possibility of a different life ahead…"

Vance pulled away gently and shook her head "But he is saying what he _feels_ , Hester." she protested "You know your brother just as well as I do and you know that whatever Selwyn Owen Ford feels is exactly what he'll either do or won't do." Vance's voice was different then and Hester thought that she had never heard that voice coming out from Vance before. It was sharp, loud and certain and all at the same time. Hester looked at her friend with astonishment mixed with sadness too.

"That's true, Vance." Hester admitted but reached out for her hands nonetheless "But Selwyn _will_ come back. Don't _you_ feel it? Right there?" she put her hand just above Vance's heart "And he'll come back and he will discover it, right _there_." she again pressed gently the same place and Vance glanced down at Hester's hand before looking up with a soft grin on her lips.

"How are you so sure about all of this?" she asked her helplessly.

"Because I trust my intuition." Hester replied with a smile and she squeezed Vance's hands once more "Don't worry, dear, it's exactly how you said, I _know_ my brother and I know that even though he might not realise it just yet, his and your heart belong to one another." Vance's cheeks were touched by the soft tears coming out from her blue eyes, even though a smile on her lips widened slightly and Hester grinned more brightly at her as well "And when this phenomenon occurs for the two of you, those two hearts of yours will speak the same language, I know that they will. I have several examples in my family to prove exactly that and you know them yourself, Vance, dearest." she chuckled slightly and so did Vance before wiping away her tears with her glove.

"I know you must be right, Hester, you always are about advice among other things." Vance said and kissed Hester's cheek before the two of them took the baskets in their hands again and resumed their walk.

"Am I?" Hester asked her in almost disbelief.

"Yes, you are." Vance chuckled lightly again, a weight from her shoulders evidently lifted a few inches up "I'm glad that it's just you and my diary who know about my feelings for Selwyn." she glanced into Hester's eyes and both shared a meaningful look of bosom friends.

"I'm glad too, you know." Hester smiled brightly at her soul-sister "This kind of secret shouldn't be pulled out from its box before its time. I _am_ glad, though, that you are sharing it with me."

Vance grinned gently "I agree with you most entirely." she said "And do you think, Hester, that the age difference between me and Selwyn matters at all?" she asked her suddenly.

Hester chuckled softly at that "Vance, darling, you're only two years apart!" she said kindly, nudging her friend at the side causing her to laugh a bit louder than before "Two years is completely nothing at all!"

"I suppose you're right." Vance agreed "But, you know how I am, I worry about those important things as well as those which shouldn't be worrying me, not that much anyway."

"I know how you are, Vance." Hester agreed with a smile 'But you know that in this aspect I'm quite similar."

Vance smiled back at Hester "Yes, you are." she said.

"Oh!" Hester said all of a sudden and Vance looked at her curiously "Speaking about worrying about small things, I was meant to tell you on the way to the orphanage but I forgot entirely."

"Yes?" Vance's brows raised a little.

"Remember that composition, the very first one which was a bit complicated for me to compose and to write down in general, called "Hope and Our Rainbow Valley"?" Hester asked her and Vance nodded energetically "Well, when I finished composing it, which was more than a year ago, I made a copy of it, just in case. Thank God I did because I have no idea how but all the notes I wrote for all the violins, cellos, basses and the piano are _gone_!" Hester clasped the baskets together as if to demonstrate the disappearance of her composition.

"Oh, goodness!" Vance exclaimed "Gone? But you never take those compositions out of your house!"

"Exactly right." Hester nodded, a consternation and a frown on her face "I was looking for it yesterday, just had that feeling to go over it again as it has been a year since I've looked and went over this composition. I only found the copy of it, not the original first written notes. I looked over my whole room over and then went downstairs and looked through the desk in the living room. Mum and Dad caught me doing it and I told them why I was doing it and they only smiled first at each other and then at me, as if I was truly a small baby, just like Poppy, and they told me to simply just leave it as it will definitely be found in the least expected way." she sighed with exasperation "I'm sure they're right but… It's just so mysterious, you know?"

"It really is." Vance agreed and humphed "It's a good thing you made a copy, though."

"Thank God for that." Hester agreed with another sigh "Otherwise I would have cried myself to sleep last night." she smiled bitterly at that and then brightly again "Ah, nevermind, I just wanted to tell you that."

"It's almost like a Sherlock Holmes' new mystery." Vance's eyes twinkled slightly as she grinned at Hester.

"I think it must be then!" both of them laughed together and then Hester glanced at Vance once more "Is your mum already getting ready for the arrival of Marshall in two months time?" she asked her gently and Vance almost jumped from excitement.

"Not just my mum; dad and myself too!" she said cheerfully "Mum and I are already thinking of what recipies we should try out before Marshall will arrive in Canada so that he'll get only the ones which are the best. Dad on the other hand is already planning a whole load of different activities he can do with his son that _won't_ involve any sport." she looked a bit worried then but Hester smiled at her caringly.

"Because of the head injury Marshall had?" she asked and Vance nodded.

"Yes," she said "-it was apparently quite a nasty one. He can obviously walk and so everything, or most anyway, just like he used to but for that one month of rest he's not supposed to do anything active like running or suddenly standing up and simply not being put into any sort of stressful situation." she explained in a voice of a doctor or a nurse and Hester grinend at her friend again.

"He's still so very lucky to be able to come home, even if it's only for a month." Hester said gently.

"Yes, it really is." Vance agreed with a brisk smile "But he did have a bad injury and the doctors said that it's a miracle nothing permanent came out of it. He's still in bed though and he's not strong enough to walk for more than fifteen minutes." Vance said with a weaker smile at the memory of her brother and Hester smiled wistfully as well "But he's doing better each day and quoting him: "not to worry, baby-sister. I'll _see_ you soon." and I still can't believe that he will!" Vance's eyes filled with tears once more, although they were happy tears this time.

Hester kissed Vance's cheek softly and grinned at her "Neither can I really." she admitted "A real Air Commodore Marchall Douglas!" she said almost with pride herself.

"Indeed." Vance replied with a voice filled with the proudest of prides before smiling at Hester again "I know you're not that fond of him…" she started but Hester interrupted her.

"Vance, it was a long time ago." Hester said finally "I don't know Marshall, not _really_ , apart from all the small things Gilly writes to me about him in his letters." she smiled at the memory of her own oldest, cheeky brother "But I am truly glad and excited to see him again too. I just really hope he won't be teasing me again." she said with a sudden heap of frustration in her chest which passed soon enough to make the space for laughter both she and Vance performed afterwards.

"I hope he will." Vance said with a soft grin "That would mean he didn't change." Hester squeezed her hand quickly and then smiled at her once more.

"Vance, I think we _all_ changed." she said "But it doesn't have to be a horrible thing always. Sometimes, it's _needed_ for a different, unexpected situation to occur instead. A situation which will make one's life much happier, simply because one looks differently at things now he or she used to.". It was then when the chilly February wind started blowing into their youthful faces and it seemed to the two of those girls that something unexpected, or at least a form of a change was coming their way, and it was both exciting for them as well as a bit alarming. Even though, they continued their walk and their conversation because after all, whatever fate has in store for us, there's no hurry to know exactly what it is just yet.


	30. No Matter What

**_Chapter XXX_**

14th March 1944

Dearest Hester,

I am still crying, I am still smiling through the tears and I _cannot_ go to sleep, _full stop_! _How_ can I? How can I _ever_ go to sleep again? Now that I am engaged to no one else but the only man in the world whom my heart loves or ever will love? This man, this brilliant handsome man called _John Meredith_ will be my husband after this dreaded war is over.

I know that just now you have way too many questions to ask me and I've written the same kind of letter to Marion and my parents already (after not writing to anyone because of all the things that have happened so quickly!) but of course I will never get bored of that story I am about to tell you, not for the whole wide world. So there, now I will share with you the story of what happened precisely six hours ago (mind you, now it's midnight over here!).

Remember when I told you in my last letter that I was going to go for a week to France to get my anaesthetic training there? Well I went, of course, and today is the last day of my training so I will be sailing off to Southampton once more first thing in the morning tomorrow ( _today_ to be quite frank with you). Anyway, once I got here and I knew all along that I'd be very close to the trenches where John, Walt and your Selwyn all are, I wrote not just to Walt but to the whole three of them to ask if there's any way they could get out of the front for one day and meet up with me in the "nursing trenches" as I call them. These are near the battlefield and it's also where I was meant to go to with the Matron called Odette to get all the necessary medication and such. I _begged_ her to take me there for I needed to see how it all looked like and where possibly _one day_ (once I get more experience) I will end up at, near the real battlefield.

They couldn't leave the front, they all told me and I knew they've tried _everything_ to make our meeting happen because who out of those soldiers _wouldn't_ do that given the opportunity? And so with a slightly bitter heart, I went to the nursing trenches with Odette instead. It was crazy, it was absolutely horrendous really. As soon as I got there with Odette and I was left alone for a few minutes, I saw John on one of the new beds. I got _completely_ terrified at first, however, I ran up to him, kissed his tanned face and saw that he looked and was in soul still the same, only more handsome and more, much, _much more_ like a man now than he ever was before.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here, John?" I asked him nervously, looking at both of his arms and legs to look for injuries "Are you wounded?"

He smiled then, in his old smirky way and with pain showed me his leg or rather his calf which was bandaged "Got a deep cut in there yesterday and I'm supposed to stay here for two more days, nothing serious." he said to me and I became more relaxed, well, I sighed with relief really for he _was_ alright and I could actually _see_ him and _touch_ him! Hester, you have no idea how much happiness was inside my chest in that moment, I think that if the nurses and wounded soldiers weren't there I would scream and sing with joy, most likely resembling a wild animal.

I did my duties whilst there though and then all of a sudden Odette took me on the side and asked me if I wanted to take Lieutenant Meredith with me for those two days back to town for she could see how we ( _we both_!) were looking at each other. I was shocked as you've probably guessed, but what else could I say apart from "yes, of course"! Then the only question remained: how are we to go about succeeding this crazy plan?

John took the casual clothes of an officer who was over at the nursing trenches for awhile and so didn't need his regular clothes. He put them on without anyone but me and Odette knowing about this whole mess and so we all went together to the car which drove us all back to town. I must say that I felt truly like a _rebel_! And John did too, he even whispered to me on the way there: "I fell like a proper criminal!" and then he winked at me "Hopefully you'll be my lawyer in the court." and I did _not_ care if I blushed and I'm sure I did, several times. I think I looked like a very ripe tomato and still, I did _not_ care!

When we arrived, I went off to my four hours long training leaving John to rest in my room. When I came back we both decided to simply drink some really poor local coffee and talked about _everything_. It took us about four hours to finish our 'talking energy' even though it felt just like thirty minutes at the most. We laughed _and_ cried in each other's arms. However, we were still friends at that time.

Suddenly, John stood up and went over to the window, he was looking outside for a little while and then I came over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder but he swiftly took it into his hand and pulled me into his strong arms of a true soldier. He looked deeply into my eyes and told me that if I won't promise to marry him after the end of the war he'd rather be shot the first day he'll be back at the front.

Hester... My heart was seriously getting nearer and nearer to my throat with every word he said at that moment. I couldn't _believe_ that it was all happening and that he was holding me like _that_ and that he was actually _proposing_ to me, in such a way I thought he never would in the first place.

I said to him then that I'll marry him any day he wants me to and that was when he started to weep again, without any shaking, just tears coming out of his eyes like the tears in my own eyes. He then said that he has always loved me but simply didn't know it until we started to correspond with each other so frequently (he was, after all, in love with Cornelia first). Then I told him that I've always loved him too and he felt terrible because of it and on top of that he demanded to know _why_ I haven't told him sooner about my feelings but, of course, both you and I know the answer to this, Hester, and he knew and knows it as well.

After all of our confessions, I asked him finally: "Are you _ever_ going to kiss me?" he laughed and without another word he did what I asked him to do. Hester, I know that it didn't work out with you and Seb and you know (because we've spoken about this many times) that I'm terribly sorry because of that. However, think of all the kisses you and Seb had, all the feelings you felt and then put them all into one box and times them by eight at least. That is what I felt in that moment, plus that certainty that this is _it_.

I'm lucky that I had my own private little bedroom here in this hospital. John stayed here for those entire two days and he slept on that small couch which is on the opposite side of the room, he even called that uncomfortable spot "Heaven". He had to stay there and not going anywhere outside so that nobody would get any ideas about a strange man going in and out of _my_ room and besides where would he go? Anyways, he did have to rest with his leg injury despite all of this.

We talked and laughed and kissed each other during those few days we had together, that's all we did (apart from me going to the training for a few hours each day, of course) and we're not ashamed of the simplicity of it all. We're engaged now and we're to be married _as soon as possible_. We could do it like Walt and Cornelia did or how your Gilly and Daria and just marry here and now but we decided not to. We want a true family wedding, with our entire family around. I want you, Hester dearest, and Marion, Vance, Daria and Jo to be my bridesmaids for goodness' sakes! I want to be walked down the aisle by Daddy… That's just what I want and what John wants too.

He's gone now, of course, he even sent me a telegram saying that he's back with "my boys who send congratulations to us both, dear. John gave me (I know that you of all people won't call me old-fashioned or silly for that) a lock of his hair which I have in the locket around my neck and I gave him mine around which he put a blue ribbon. Such small gesture yet I almost feel as if he's with me over here, and it reassures me that all of those events really took place.

What will you say about _that_ , darling? I am _engaged to John_! How long have I been waiting for this day? You know far too well yourself. I shall go now as I'm catching a ferry tomorrow and it's already well past my bedtime! Therefore, I hope you'll have at least half as many beautiful dreams tonight as I'm sure I'll have myself...

Sweet dreams, dearest bosom friend of mine.

Yours,

Someday-to-be: Mrs Cecilia (your Lily) Meredith

* * *

25th March 1944

My darling Phillip,

At least _you_ are alright and whole. You have no idea how thankful I am for that, my dearest friend. Please, always stay safe and careful out there, _please_ , do it for not just yourself but your family and myself too. The reason why I'm starting this letter to you with my voice worried and my hands shaking is because I've been crying this whole afternoon. I'm simply _exhausted_ and the only thing I want (or can) to do now is to write to you and tell you of all the things that happened this past week.

On Monday, we got a telegram that Walt was wounded only two days earlier. He had his arm amputated. This on its own is simply heart-breaking but I thank _God_ that the arm that had to be amputated was his left one, this means that my dear cousin will still be able to write properly. We all know Walt and so we _know_ , as Marion herself was saying yesterday, that he'll be alright. He'll be upset at first, without a doubt, but he's the kind of man who gets used to things and after awhile, he simply goes on living because he wants to, because he _needs_ to.

The most positive aspect of this entire situation is that he will be coming back to Canada, to _us_ , in around June-time. He and Cornelia that is. She went overseas to care for him and she'll come back home by his side, her own husband. Vance is beyond than happy to know that her sister will be back home soon and I can't blame her for that at all. Marion, Uncle Jem and Untie Faith are all bursting with joy over the fact that they will see their brother and son in a few months time after such a long separation. I am very happy for them too.

And Selwyn, my _own_ brother will be sent back home soon as well, he's meant to come back to Canada in August the telegram he sent us on Monday said. My dearest brother was wounded, badly, on the same day as Walt did (it's a miracle that nothing but a few bruises happened to John). There was a shell explosion in the trenches, you see. Walt lost an arm and my brother lost sight in his right eye and hearing in his left ear. Despite this being so horrible, his foot was injured quite badly too and it is broken and stitched up, "looking like the most mangled wild animal you'd ever see" as Selwyn himself wrote to us in the letter we got just today. Selwyn has lost a lot of blood and so now he is quite weak but I'm glad that he's at the same hospital as Walt who's right next to him, they can always hold on to one another at this horrible time for both of them.

There, I'm crying _again_! Oh, dear God, why did _You_ have to punish them like that? And I'm sorry if I'm selfish towards Walt now but why did you have to punish _Selwyn_? With his poetic and sensitive soul which I and everyone else love so dearly? Phillip, Selwyn's letter was the most tragic piece of writing I have ever read. Mum and Dad wept together with me today right after reading it (thank goodness Poppy was sleeping upstairs and so wasn't upset by our wet and red faces). Selwyn wrote: "How am I to go on living? Now that my eyesight and hearing are both divided and gone forever? How can I go on living after seeing what I've seen, feeling what I've felt and doing what I've done? I am a monster and I don't know _how_ I'm supposed to go back to living...".

Phillip, _this_ isn't Selwyn. This isn't my older brother, the same boy who used to sit under the White Lady in the Rainbow Valley and write passionately another sonnet or a ballad! _This_ s a very broken person, and it is _not_ Selwyn. His letter broke my heart and I can't say anything more about it.

The only thing that keeps me hopeful and positive is that he's going back home now. He'll come back and we will all have the opportunity to get him back to living and I'm sure we will, all together, me, Mum and Dad, Poppy (whom he has never seen before after all), Daria (whom he has never seen before either) and of course Vance, succeed in this plan. Oh, Vance will, she will do everything in her power to set him back on the journey called life. I know and you too, Phillip, that Vance is shy, timid and very quiet but when the time comes she'll do everything to protect the ones she loves most in this world and Selwyn is one of those people. Today I felt as if I was speaking to a different person when Vance grasped my hands fiercely in hers after she read Selwyn's letter, and she said to me: "He'll be alright, Hester. I _swear_ to you with all I am and all I have, he'll be happy again." and I know that she's right, she must be.

I'm sorry that this letter is so wistful and full of pain but I'm not going to lie to you about how I feel and the truth is I don't feel well at all, not today anyway. Daria said to me though, with her arm around my shoulders: "Tomorrow night, you'll see stars spread across the sky and you'll smile again, Hester." and I truly believe her words. I think that Selwyn will find a true kindred spirit in her as Daria too set a task for herself to "bring my new brother to the land of poetry once more" (she's a lover of poetry herself).

I shall be going off to bed now. I have to, even if I don't want to, because tomorrow I have four lessons to teach and then I'm going to Grandma Anne and Grandpa Gilbert's to prepare the family dinner for us all. Therefore, stay safe dearest friend of my soul and know that I love _you_ , no matter where you are, no matter what you've seen, no matter what you've felt and no matter what you've done.

Yours,

Hester


	31. A Deal

**_Chapter XXXI_**

April's sun rays were shining through the gigantic window in the living room of Ingleside straight onto the keys of the ancient piano and its player. The fair, Hester Ford, with her fingers dancing on the piano's keys swiftly, effortlessly whilst creating the sound of a certain beauty called music. Hester always regarded piano as her least favourite instrument from the three ones she could play and yet she loved playing it deeply. In that specific moment, she was playing one of her most beloved piano pieces by the one and only Beethoven and his _Sonata No. 1 in F-minor Op. 2 No., Prestissimo_ into which she gave her whole heart and soul.

Her black, curly hair reached her shoulders and danced as she was moving her head in the deep focus she was giving to that piece, in that moment. A soft grin was reappearing on her face constantly as she was playing her favourite slower flowing parts of the sonata. Her eyes were simultaneously reading the notes in front of her as the fingers danced on the piano's keys. She wore a dress she adored, the one which was sewn by her aunt Una and which was also a perfect deep-green colour with a sweetheart neckline and a dark green belt around her waist. Hester's feet were covered by the shortest high-heels she owned for two years but loved their comfort nonetheless. As simply as she was dressed, whilst sitting at that piano, she looked more radiant than those sun rays coming through the window beside her.

Ken was at work in Charlottetown, Daria was also at work in her office, Rilla was in town doing grocery shopping with her father, Marion was at school teaching, Vance at the orphanage and Hester was playing the piano, enjoying her day free of work. Poppy was with her grandma Anne in the kitchen as "both" of them were baking something simple yet delicious.

Hester was so absorbed in the music she was the reason of that she didn't hear a car pulling over in front of the house. Neither did she hear three people coming into Ingleside's hall and the exclamation of joy coming from her grandmother's lips at the sight of one of them. Hester's lips were composed into a soft yet melancholy smile as she played and played even though a particular visitor was already in the room and watched her with fascination in his green eyes. Hester didn't hear him walking behind her and looking at the notes she played even though he didn't understand them at all. He watched her hands instead, his own lips smiling radiantly at the view he had never seen before that day.

Suddenly, he decided to stand on her left, doing everything not to distract her yet doing exactly that as well. Hester saw a shadow on her left and turned her head slightly, still playing as if from memory. Just as her eyes met his, her own widened and she stopped playing abruptly, her hands off the keys as if she was stricken by electricity. " _Marshall_!" she exclaimed in both disbelief and joy which quickly spread over her face as she stood up. Upon realising that she was just about reaching the upper part of his broad chest, she blushed slightly but smiled at him nonetheless.

"Surprise, kid." he said to her with a witty grin on his tanned and slightly scarred face "I'm earlier than I was meant to but hopefully you're still at least a tiny bit happy to see the old friend of your brother's anyway." he winked at her from beneath the brown curls falling onto his forehead.

"Of course, I'm happy to see you, Marshall." she said with her voice truly merry, just like her face "Welcome home." she put out her hand towards him and he chuckled softly.

"Come _on_ , kid." he said to her cheerfully "Give me a hug." and he opened up his arms for her. With a second of hesitation and a raised brow, Hester smiled kindly and allowed him to embrace her as she almost shivered from how warm he was underneath that military jacket he was wearing. When they pulled away from each other, Mary and Miller came into the room with Anne and Poppy in her arms, all looking at the tall and handsome Marshall Douglas with true fascination and pure happiness over seeing him there with them, whole more or less and _still_ smiling.

"Hasn't Hester grown, Marshall?" Anne asked him with a smile on her face, looking at both him and her granddaughter with pride "She was only fifteen when you left for the front, if I remember correctly." she smiled knowingly at Hester who gave her grandma a curious yet significant look.

Marshall looked down at Hester again and smiled gently "She most definitely has grown, Mrs Blythe." he said and Hester's cheeks turned slightly pink. In that moment, Poppy stretched out her chubby arms asking for her "Es." and so Hester skillfully took her into her arms. Poppy instinctively put her head full of red curls on her older sister's shoulder, looking curiously at the tall man standing next to her whilst sucking her thumb.

"Marshall gave us a huge surprise this morning." Mary said as she took her son's hand in her own "Only minutes after Vance went off to the orphanage, he was there, at our _doorstep_!" she chuckled and kissed Marshall's cheek. Even though he blushed slightly at that he didn't protest at all.

"Will you be going to see Vance now Marshall?" Anne asked him.

"No, I'll wait after she'll finish work." he replied decidedly with a smile "I shouldn't be walking too much anyway." he said more carefully as he scratched his head.

Mary took his hand swiftly and sat him down on the nearest armchair "Well, then, sit down, you silly boy of mine." she told him sternly yet with another kiss on his cheek "Oh! _Oh_! I forgot!" she exclaimed suddenly and looked at her husband immediately "Miller, it's today when Rilla and I are meant to go to the meeting of Red Cross in Bright River, isn't it?" she asked him and he put his arm around her waist.

"Yes, I'm afraid it is today, dear." he said to her gently.

"But I can't leave Marshall, he just came back…" she started, however, Marshall put his hand on her own and looked into her eyes with a raised brow of his.

"Go, mum, you'll be gone for just a few hours and then we can talk till midnight if you want." he said to her tenderly and both of his parents smiled at him with pride and joy once more.

"Are you sure?" she asked him fearfully.

"Of course, I am." he said and then looked over at Anne and Hester "If, that is, I'll be welcome to stay over here for a few more hours."

"Of course, you are welcome to stay, darling." Anne said happily, kissing little Poppy on the cheek "But I think that you'll be left alone with Hester and Poppy over here," she looked at both of her granddaughters with a loving smile "-for Gilbert and I will be going off to a meeting at Mrs Richards ourselves. If you don't mind staying with just the two of them, I hope." Hester looked at her grandmother and knew exactly what was going through her mind but remained calm and smiling nonetheless.

Marshall grinned at Hester and Poppy in her arms "Sure I don't mind." he said and then raised an eyebrow at Hester "If you don't mind either, kid."

She smiled at him lightly, her fingers twitching at the sound of a nickname he has given her so many years earlier and which she never enjoyed hearing of "Of course I don't, Marshall." she replied.

* * *

"This was a beautiful piece you played, kid." Marshall said to Hester as she came back from the kitchen with a tray with two cups of lemonade and a few biscuits.

She smiled at him gently as she sat down next to him on the couch. She took Poppy into her arms, as she was silently playing with Marshall's military cap. "Thank you." she answered politely "It's Beethoven. My favourite piece for the piano."

He smiled at her and sipped on his lemonade "You play three instruments, jolly God, only one in a few million have enough talent and patience to do that."

Hester blushed a little but put her chin a bit higher nonetheless "I'm glad you've mentioned patience." she said "It's the key to usually everything." she put Poppy against her chest and handed her a cookie as she started to fuss a little "Happy now, darling?" she asked her and kissed her sister on the top of her head.

Marshall smiled even wider "I can't believe I'm looking at a second sister of Gilly's." he said with disbelief "He can't wait to meet her, you know, he told me at least millions of times already."

"I can't wait for him to meet her either." Hester said and grinned at Marshall "They are quite similar: both of them are extremely loud and stubborn."

Marshall chuckled at that "So they are." he said "And how is Daria?" he asked her curiously.

"She's wonderful." Hester said with a wide smile "She truly is just like Gil always used to describe her in his letters."

"He _cannot_ shut up about her, you know." he said with a tender smile and Hester laughed helplessly "Well, I suppose he has a point if she truly is just like he describes her to be like. At least he's lucky enough to have found the woman of his deepest dreams." he sighed slightly at that and Hester realised that he must have been thinking about Jo but before she opened her mouth he looked at her again and as if reading her mind grinned lightly "Although I _do_ thank God every day that Jo didn't agree to marry me." he said and Hester raised her eyebrows a little "It just wasn't right. _Now_ I know, after almost five years of still having that feeling that she was truly the one for me after all, even after she married and then had a baby of her own." he sighed softly again and Hester's face turned a bit worried.

"When did you then realise that Jo wasn't the one, Marshall?" she asked him gently.

He looked up at her almost surprised by the question but smiled at her still "Recently." he replied "It just clicked, you know, kid?"

Hester sighed a little and sat up more straight "I wish you'd stop calling me _that_." she said finally, not harshly, but even a little ashamedly as her cheeks grew a bit warmer.

"You know, I do remember you at the train station when Gil and I were leaving for the front." he said all of a sudden and Hester looked at him more firmly "You did say that… Um… _How_ did you say it… "I might be too old for you to call me a kid when you come back."." he smiled at her gently.

"And even so you keep on calling me a kid." Hester said with a raised brow "I don't know if you know but I _am_ almost twenty years old, you know. And besides, I was always a bit more mature than others anyway." she said that with a bit of pride in her voice.

He smirked a little "You're right." he said finally "But somehow it makes me feel like things haven't changed although I know that they did. Tremendously." he said a bit bitterly and Hester looked at him again.

She nodded slowly "Things indeed have changed." she said softly and reached out for his big hand, squeezed it "But some of those changes don't have to be horrible." she smiled at him lightly as he squeezed her hand back.

"Does that mean that we can be friends now?" he asked her "After all those years?"

She chuckled slightly "After _all_ those years of you teasing me and pranking me, yes, we can be friends, Marshall." she said to him and withdrew her hand "And I'm glad."

"So am I." he agreed with a smile "And I'm sorry about those teasings and such. It was a habit of mine but now that I am a grown-up man of twenty-four years I suppose that this will be another habit that will go away one day, just like a habit of biting your nails."

Hester smiled wider at that too "I'm glad you've made it clear." she said and he chuckled lightly "How's your head, though? Does it hurt a lot?" she asked him.

"No, not really." he replied and scratched his head instinctively "I still feel a bit unsure about walking too fast and my head spins when I do but I really _can_ walk, contradicting what my mother claims, of course." he and Hester laughed together "Sometimes, though, I get a painful headache but that's getting less and less frequent each day."

"You're so brave." she said with little tears forming in her eyes "You're _all_ so brave." she kissed Poppy's now sleeping red-head to cover the tears slowly getting out of her hazel eyes.

Marshall didn't amiss this and he automatically put his hand over hers, making her look at him again "We are brave, Hester." he agreed gently "But you, all of _you_ here are too."

" _How_ are we brave?" she asked him, her cheeks suddenly flowing with warm tears "We don't do anything but knit for you some socks and write letters. That's _all_ , anyone can do that."

Marshall moved nearer to her and looked deeply into her eyes, his hands on her arms "Not anyone, certainly not that." he said to her sternly "And it's not just that, you keep on hoping, you keep on praying, you keep on doing everything to make us feel better at the front and you _do_ succeed." he smiled at her then and she smiled at him.

"We do?" she asked.

"Yes." he replied softly and wiped away her tears with his hands, still smiling at her "Don't ever think that you're any way less brave or weaker than us." he said decidedly "Because you're not."

She grinned at him "A feminist, are you?" she asked him and they both laughed together, and they continued on laughing for a few more moments as Marshall settled down in his seat again.

"Sure I am." he winked at her and then his gaze fell on Poppy and Hester looked down at her sister too "Someone's very over-worked, I see."

Hester cradled Poppy into her motherly arms even more and kissed her chubby hand as Poppy put her hand on her chest, sighing slightly in her sleep. Both Hester and Marshall chuckled together "I love watching her sleep." she whispered and Marshall looked up at Hester.

"She is beautiful." he whispered back and Hester looked up into his green eyes and smiled gently, her cheeks turning slightly pink "Do you think she'll be musical at all?" he asked suddenly.

"I don't know." she replied gently, caressing Poppy's cheek "It's not something you can force on."

"No," he agreed quietly "-if she'll be into arts I can help her out one day."

Hester looked up at him again, remembering the old sketches Vance had once shown her with the signed _M.D_. in the right corner of each one. She smiled at him again then "Marshall?" she said.

"Hm?"

"Do you think that you could teach me how to sketch?" she asked him.

He smiled at her from a corner of his mouth "Sure. We have an entire month to practice." he said but then raised his hand suddenly "But," and then put it down "-only if you'll agree to teach me how to play the piano."

Hester chuckled quietly "I won't be able to teach you how to play a piano in a month. It took me ten years to do so!" she said.

"No, I know _that_ , of course, but just teach me some of the nice and easy bits." he said to her with a grin towards the piano in front of them "Besides, I won't be able to teach you how to sketch in a month either." he raised his brow, imitating her and they both laughed quietly.

"Alright then." she said to him finally "It's a deal."

He outstretched his hand and shook it with her own "A deal," and then he smirked again "-kid."

And somehow Hester didn't even mind.


	32. On One Sunny Morning

**_Chapter XXXII_**

It was a sunny and warm Friday morning, and the May approaching could not only be imagined now. It was felt everywhere and in every corner, it was the inevatibility which nobody wanted to repress. A week has passed since the day when Marshall came back to Canada for the whole month and therefore he was only meant to stay for another three weeks to the disappointment of everyone, even though neither of them could hide how happy they all were to see one of their boys back in his hometown, carrying his scars with a nonchalant pride tangled with a feeling nobody apart from men older than him truly understood.

Hester did keep her promise just like he did and both were meeting each afternoon for an hour, at each of their houses, trying to teach one another their passions. With each passing afternoon, Hester felt that she truly never knew Marshall before. She _never_ did, not even after hearing so many stories about him from Gilly over all of those years and not even after spending her entire life knowing him either. She wasn't proud of it, she felt quite ashamed that she didn't get to know him better before he came back home from the war for just a month before going back again but yet she felt very grateful for being given this divine opportunity to make another bosom friend, as she already started to refer to Marshall by just that.

Each afternoon when she would come back home after Marshall teaching her the art of shading and later talking with him and Vance for a little longer, she'd come into the House of Dreams with an almost shadow of a smile, or a grin or maybe something else entirely, her fingers still a bit stained with charcoal, and Daria would be there with Rilla at her side, both with crossed arms and raised eyebrows, hidden smiles of their own painted upon their faces. "What's wrong?" Hester would ask them, suddenly turning slightly pink yet surprised nonetheless. "Oh, nothing, dear." Rilla would say and pat Daria on the shoulder knowingly before inviting her two oldest daughters for supper.

But now it was morning and that was the very first time Hester could meet up with Marshall at that time of day as she didn't have any lessons on Fridays and was always regarding them as her "time off to reflect and put my melodies out on the paper". This morning, though, she was convinced by her newly made friend to take a walk with him to the Rainbow Valley after their piano lesson so that he could teach her how to catch the light with a pencil, a different kind of magic Hester still had to learn about.

They walked next to one another, both of their pairs of shoes taken off as Marshall suggested, and their cheeks still a bit red from the laughter his suggestion caused. Hester wore a white floral blouse with a red skirt and she was an embodiment of May approaching. Marshall didn't even bother to take a jacket with him and therefore, he looked rather dashing in his casual spirit. "So you haven't learnt that whole sonata yet, kid?" Marshall asked her with a pretend-sarcasm in his voice.

Hester pretend-laughed at him and hit his arm playfully as he himself was laughing "If you must _know_ , Marshall Douglas," she said decidedly yet still smiling herself "-it takes time to learn the entire piece by heart. You have to learn how to play it correctly first and then also, how to play it with a full heart and soul. _This_ does take time." she raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled again.

"Well, I suppose you're right," he said gently "-I haven't learnt that small piece you and I practise either…" and Hester laughed out loud herself, making him smile further.

"There's the old White lady." Marshall waved suddenly with delight spreading over his face "Shall we sit down underneath her shadow, mademoiselle?" he asked her with an extended arm which she took with her chin lifted up slightly and laughter at the back of her throat.

"Where did you get that poetic phrase from, Marshall?" she asked him funnily as they sat down next to each other, Marshall putting his suitcase full of charcoal and paper on the side.

"I'm not very poetic, am I?" he said and Hester chuckled with a shake of her head "But sometimes moments of light just sparkle inside of my head." he smiled at Hester and she smiled back joyfully.

She suddenly looked on her left, at some imaginary scene from the time before and her face darkened slightly as she sighed softly, nostalgia attacking her mind. Marshall noticed that and he looked closely at her face, not even at the place where she was looking at and his own face darkened slightly. " _He_ was poetic, wasn't he?" he asked her suddenly.

Hester, blushing furiously, looked at him with a surprise "How did you know…?" she started.

Marshall shrugged "It's just that look you had on your face." he replied as if it was something obvious "You can't hide your feelings very well, Miss Hester."

Hester's cheeks were paler now, still a bit pink, though, and she sighed softly "No, I know I can't." she agreed with him "And yes, Seb was poetic. Very to be quite frank." she put a stem of grass in her fingers and started to look at it closely "But he wasn't honest, not with me anyway." she grinned wistfully at Marshall who looked almost annoyed.

"Gil told me." he said "And Vance too when I asked if I got the facts right." he looked at Hester then, and squeezed her hand "Seb was and is a very stupid man, kid." he winked at her and she smiled at him lightly "I hope you don't spend a lot of time thinking about him and about all the 'what ifs'."

"No, I don't anymore." she said to him "I used to, of course, but I stopped. It's been quite a long time anyway since all of this happened." she then sighed and drew up closer to him "Marshall, can I ask you something?" she asked suddenly.

"Sure. What is it?" he frowned a little, his sign of curiosity.

"I've known you, _really_ known you, for a week only but I can already sense that there's something that you don't want to tell anyone yet you need to... _badly_ , and… I think, I know what it is." she said and his expression changed as he turned slightly embarrassed it seemed or even a little fearful "I need to know this, Marshall. I need to because I know _what_ it is." she squeezed his hand in reassurance and he looked up at her again "Tell me… everything."

Marshall's eyes were surveying her face until they settled on her eyes again. He grinned a bit weakly as he drew up closer to her, sighing softly "You're right." he said to her gently "I do need to tell someone. But Hester, do you really want to hear this?" he asked her a bit worryingly.

She put her hand on his and nodded fiercely "I _need_ to know, Marshall." she whispered "Before Selwyn comes back so that I'll know what he saw and why is he changed so much. Not only because of that, though, I just… need to know, Marshall." she said finally and he nodded comprehensively. Hester had never seen nor had ever imagined it would be possible to see Marshall Douglas looking so worn out and gloomy at the same time.

"I think you know yourself, Hester, what it is that I saw." he started surprisingly calmly but his eyes truly attentive on hers "Men my age, younger, older, men whom I liked and talked to a day before, sang with a day before, suddenly carried on a stretcher drenched with their own blood, their eyes as dead as they can ever get." his fingers twitched slightly and Hester felt how the hair on the back of her neck risen "I'm not sure what Selwyn, John or Walt, or even your Phillip see and do every day, well... I have an idea but it's different for me as I'm a member of the Air Force." he said that a bit more calmly then.

"It doesn't matter." Hester whispered as she suddenly discovered she couldn't speak any louder than that "Tell me about _you_."

He looked at her for a moment and Hester thought he must have been thinking whether or not to tell her then "One of the worst things were the bombings we had to carry out." he said finally with a grave face "Because I knew that we are bombing people who are sitting in their homes, sipping a tea, eating their supper, peacefully sleeping in their beds. And we simply made it all… disappear. But _not_ silently." his eyes filled with sudden wave of tears as Hester's own eyes did too.

She put her hands on his own and squeezed them tightly "I know, Marshall." tears were already rolling down her cheeks "But you _cannot_ think that it's your fault. It's nobody's fault, the very feeling you have in your chest right now is the proof of that." she put her hand on his chest where his heart was meant to be located and she grinned at him lightly as he grinned back with effort "There's a war on and things as horrible as this never happen outside of it but always inside so please don't feel like that anymore."

"Doesn't it repulse you, Hester?" he asked her suddenly, drawing up nearer to her, a few of his own tears still on his warm cheeks "I've killed _hundreds_ of people, people like you and me. Doesn't it make you, you with your beautiful, unique and sensitive soul, think of me as a monster?" his voice was almost hoarse then.

Hester's eyes were wider as she looked at his handsome face which was full of life, creativity, passion, emotion and future even though now it was covered with wet tears and fire of anger and regret in his green eyes. She could see not just Marshall then but both of her brothers, all of her cousins and her friend Phillip too. She shook her head as her eyes were full of tears all over again " _No_ , Marshall. I don't think of you as a monster at all." she said with a cracked voice of her own "How can I? When you yourself have such a beautiful, unique and sensitive soul?" her lips formed a smile which was Hester's kindest and most true smile she has ever possessed.

Marshall's eyes were overfilled by then as he was at a loss of words. He then smiled at her too "I would have questioned that if I didn't know that you always speak the truth, kid." he said to her and she chuckled quietly, wiping away the tears from his cheeks with her handkerchief.

"I do, it's a gift and a curse at the same time." she replied and Marshall chuckled softly too. He then took a deep breath and let it out before his face was serious again. He turned to his companion by his side once more. "You know that I was reported "wounded and missing", don't you?" he asked her and she nodded along slowly "Just like Gil before me, I was in an aeroplane crash. Our plane landed on a tree and nothing serious apart from a few bruises and cuts happened to any of us. We got out of the plane and found ourselves eye-in-eye with the German soldiers patrolling the forest." he was twitching his fingers again and he started to breathe a bit more heavily "They loaded their guns and I, being the stupid man I am, wanted to run right in front of them to try to negotiate to let us all go freely." he chuckled bitterly at himself "I was the captain, after all." then he turned his head to face Hester "There was a man, an American called Adam, with whom I was always talking and joking whenever Gil was on a mission and I wasn't. He somehow sensed what I was about to do, bare in mind that others already started to run into the forest, and he threw himself on me while they fired out their guns." his lips tightened as he looked down for a second "If it wasn't for him I would be dead and buried on a German land by now. Instead, I was only imprisoned for a while before escaping." fresh tears started to run down his cheeks, even though he didn't seem to notice them at all.

Hester's own flushed cheeks were moist again and she outstretched her hand to lay it on his "I'm so sorry, Marshall." she whispered with a heart in her throat.

"If it wasn't for my stupidity, he could have been alive now." he said with his own voice entirely broken-hearted "Adam would be here today."

"But _you_ wouldn't be, Marshall." she cried out suddenly, all of her emotions giving up inside of her and letting out of her as if to cleanse her soul "Oh, please, don't _ever_ feel guilty of Adam's death." she sat in front of him now, on her knees, and put her small hands on his both cheeks making him look into her eyes more deeply "I know it will sound silly but I've always believed in this one sentence and I always will. But, believe me, Marshall, everything, every good and horrible thing or situation or an event that happens in our lives, happens for a reason. _Everything_ does." and just like that Marshall put his arms around her and his head on her chest. She was brushing his curls with her hands and he trembled with tears of anger, regret and guilt all mixed together in one body of flesh.

They stayed like that for what it seemed to Hester an hour, even though it was much less than that. She cried, he cried, their emotions were equal yet at different levels and combined with different thoughts yet of the same origin. He was saying more, bits and pieces, and each time he did Hester's eyes would produce more tears but she was steadier now, calmer. Hester knew then, she knew that what she feared most have happened to each of the man in her family. She felt terrible yet shockingly calm and relieved of the knowledge she was now sure of. She knew what she would do for all of them as she knew now what they needed most and it was so simple it hurt her. All it took was some motivation, listening, support, comfort and most importantly showing them love they've forgotten it existed.

Finally, he stopped sobbing and then he stopped trembling. Hester went on with stroking his brown curls and then, when his time came, he pulled away revealing his hot and reddish face yet with a tender smile upon it, gentle but a smile nonetheless. "Thank you." he whispered simply "I've never told this to anyone before you." he squeezed her hand then, gratefully and surely "Do people always tell you all of their deepest secrets?" he asked and Hester chuckled in her sweet way.

"Only the people who trust me." she replied with a smile and he smiled back at her, wiping away the rest of his tears before pulling her gently under his arm.

"But you know what's the strangest thing about the war?" he said suddenly and Hester looked up at him again "The most real and home-like things happen and are seen there. Like, when I started my training with Gilly and they've shown us a real bullet for the first time-" he smiled at the memory softly "-we were so excited and pumped with joy, you know, like little kids at school. But I also remember thinking, when I held that bullet for the first time in my life," he looked down at his hand and outstretched it before Hester as if she could see it too and she could "-I thought that it looked like a woman's lipstick, like Jo's lipstick, I thought at the time." he smiled again and then looked down at Hester who grinned back at him.

"Maybe they've fooled you and it was a lipstick after all?" she asked him and they both laughed merrily together.

Marshall then smiled down at her, his green eyes twinkling at her hazel ones which shone so brightly they looked almost honey-like "I've never had a friend like you, Hester." he said suddenly, affectionately "I wish that my habit of calling you a kid would come to an end."

Hester smiled up at him brightly "No," she said "-don't ever stop calling me that. Not even when I'm eighty years old and definitely not a kid anymore."


	33. Always Have

**_Chapter XXXIII_**

It was a beautiful evening on the very first Friday of May which meant that only a week from that morning, Hester would be officially a twenty-year-old woman and her teenage years would be gone forever. _But_ she still had a week to be a teenager. As soon as the sunshine touched her pale, peaceful face, her hazel eyes opened and she smiled so widely she chuckled herself "It's going to be _such_ a good day!" she whispered to herself, aware of the fact that she was probably the only person in the House of Dreams to be awake.

Hester woke up early that day, even though it was Friday and she had another day off work. She was asked by Marshall to meet him at half-past nine at the Rosefield House which he called "the Douglas' residency" to everyone's delight. She asked him to show her his previous artwork before their regular art lesson. She knew that Marshall would be there alone, with his father and sister at work and Mary with Hester's own mother and her aunties at the Red Cross meeting. Marshall especially picked this day and morning to show Hester his work because he knew that if he'd start doing that whilst his parents and his sister were at the house at the same time they'd be there too, looking and admiring all of his work and he didn't want that as he told her, he wanted to show her his work and passion in a calm way so that he could really get her true opinion on it.

Hester found a very true and wonderful kindred spirit in Marshall. She loved teaching him easiest piano pieces she knew and arguing with him about why he is playing something wrong, too loud or too quiet, or with a use of a wrong hand. She knew that Marshall didn't have any musical talent but she didn't mind teaching him at all, for she knew very well that it was one of his distractions from him thinking about his soon coming back to the reality of the war. Besides, it was a distraction for her too so that she wouldn't have to think about her poor brother Selwyn whom she knew she'd have to cure from the disease that attacked his soul so fiercely in a matter of three months.

Just like she suspected, Marshall and Daria met and became friends in an instant of which she described in details in her letter to Gilly. Hester wrote to her oldest brother that "both approve of each other, dearest so don't worry.". Even Poppy who at first seemed very hesitant about Marshall got to really like him, especially his brown curls. It was strange for Hester to see Marshall meet up with Jo for the first time in so long. Vance held onto Hester's and Marion's hands then as she too didn't know what to expect to appear on Marshall's face or leave his mouth but thankfully the only thing that happened was that the two embraced one another happily, their past romance from five years earlier almost entirely forgotten, for it never could be forgotten completely. For the whole day, Marshall was trying to learn how to play with Fleur and her doll which made everyone almost cry with laughter at the very view.

Vance and Marshall, whenever they were in the same place together, were always next to each other and Vance's arm would be in Marshall's as she'd look up at him and see his scars on his neck. However, she'd also look into the bright and never changing eyes of his and smile with gratitude that she _can_ see and touch him. Hester's own eyes would always fill up with tears whenever she'd see them together like that and she always wished that their sister Cornelia would come earlier than in a few months time and see her brother too.

Hester put on her never ageing white blouse with a flowing neckline and short sleeves. She then she put on her regular grey trousers with buttons on the side. Around her neck was the necklace she had never taken off ever since the day Phillip put it around her neck on her seventeenth birthday and which she'd always touch tenderly every morning and grin at her reflection in the mirror, thinking about her friend fighting for her freedom too, like he recently wrote to her in his last letter.

She then quietly went downstairs, ate cereal with milk, put on her grey hat and left the house deciding not to ride her bicycle, after all. It was too wonderful of a day to not simply take a walk and marvel at the blue skies above. Before she knew it, she reached "the Douglas' residency" and before she could even think of knocking on its door Marshall stood in front of her with a hat from the time of another war resting on his head. Hester laughed when she saw him "What in the world are you doing?" she asked him as she came up on the verandah and now stood in front of him.

Marshall smiled impishly at her and then winked at her before bowing "As nobody from my elders is now present at our house _I_ am its master and I am welcoming a certain Lady Ford into its warm embrace." he took her hand in his and kissed it gently as Hester blushed a little and allowed him to lead her inside the house.

"I'm no lady, Marshall." she said as he took off the hat and put it aside, starting for the stairs that led to his room.

He turned around to look at her and raised his eyebrows "Sure you are, kid." he said to her, smiling "To me at least." he then winked at her again and she hit him playfully on the arm making him laugh.

So they sat together in Marshall's room and he was showing her every sketchbook which she wanted to see and this meant that she wanted to see _every_ single one. She was admiring each sketch and drawing with glowing eyes. Marshall could draw _and_ paint absolutely anything, he wasn't like she thought he'd be, that he'd be good in a particular aspect of art like portraits or still life. No, Marshall Douglas whom she thought always to be the opposite of talented or ambitious, was a brilliant aspiring artist with a twinkle and a vision in his green eyes. He was very enthusiastic, he was describing everything she asked him to describe to her and she listened to everything he was saying, smiling and marvelling with as much joy in her eyes as in his own.

Suddenly, Hester held a painting in her hands with a pattern painted on it, it was a beautiful silky pattern of warm colours and an Eiffel Tower painted in the centre of it. She frowned mysteriously at it which caused Marshall to look a bit worriedly at her "What is it?" he asked her.

"I know this pattern." she said slowly, examining the painting in her hands and then she looked back at Marshall "I had it on a scarf which I lost at the beach one day… well… several years ago actually." she looked into his eyes and he raised his eyebrows once more. He stood up still a bit slowlier than he'd normally, and went over to his wardrobe. Very quickly he drew something out of its inside shelf and sat down next to Hester again. " _Oh_ , my!" she clasped the silk scarf in her hands with wide eyes and just as wide smile on her face as she looked at it, tracing its delicate texture and memories within.

Marshall smiled at her with a great amount of merriness and gleam in his own eyes "I was walking down the shore, waiting for an inspiration for another painting and suddenly the wind has brought me this beautifully original scarf." he touched the material gingerly and he and Hester smiled at each other softly yet deeply "And so it was, after all, my inspiration."

"And I was looking for it for so many days afterwards!" she chuckled with sudden tears in her eyes yet a smile never leaving her lips "I'm _so_ glad that it was in good hands and that it wasn't engulfed by the ocean instead." she looked up at Marshall again and he grinned back, a bit absent-mindedly she thought.

"Take it then, Hester, it's yours." he took the scarf in his hands and put it gently around her neck, the pastel colours highlighting her black hair and pale complexion, causing him to hold his breath for a second "It belongs to no one else but yourself ." he added.

Hester touched the scarf again but then took it off slowly and put it into a pocket of his shirt so that half of it was still hanging down decoratively "Take it with you, Marshall." she said to him softly "May it remind you of the brightness in the world and of your home." she smiled at him and he smiled back, patting the scarf in his pocket.

"I will, then. If you're sure?" he asked her once more even though he knew it was pointless to do so.

"I'm sure," she replied and realised that she said it quieter than she thought she would and Marshall leant in slightly, looking into her eyes as if to say something more.

Hester simply looked back into his eyes, trying to calm her heart down and wondered what was happening, for it was the very first time in her life when she truly wasn't aware of anything happening at that precise moment. It was as if she was the sun on the edge of the horizon, almost reappearing on its surface yet still with a few minutes left to reflect upon the Earth. Finally, she blushed lightly and then straightened up, causing Marshall to do the same. "Shall we start the lesson then?" she asked him after a few moments of silence which didn't need any words at all.

Marshall smiled a bit sheepishly all of a sudden and reached out for a new piece of paper and a piece of charcoal. He handed them to Hester, his very own and first art student "Of course, kid." he replied but something in his voice felt different, and Hester realised that something between them, something in the air surrounding them felt strange and unearthly almost but she couldn't get her head around it and therefore, she took the paper and charcoal from Marshall's hands and again said quietly:

"Let us begin."

* * *

The sky was cloudless and its colour unbelievingly and heavenly blue. May was there in its full capacity and volume and it spoke amounts of the enormous weight of delight. Hester walked down the lane from the Douglas' residency with her hat on and her arms folded behind her back as she was enjoying the sun shining down on her. ""Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"" she whispered and thought of Selwyn in an instant. She was surprised herself to smile at his remembrance because whenever she'd think about him now the feeling appearing in her soul was definitely not the one to smile about. She decided on something, though, that once Selwyn would come back home, she would recite this sonnet to him, with him joining in maybe even, and she could cure him out of his sadness in a second ""Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May…"" she then opened her eyes again and remembered, very suddenly, Seb, her once sweetheart who more than once recited that very same sonnet to her in his letters. She wasn't used to thinking about him anymore, or about Flora for that matter, but even so that void still filling her heart was something she always felt whenever she'd think or remember bits of poetry.

"Hester! _Hester_! Wait!"

Hester stopped abruptly, at once knowing whose voice it belonged to as she turned around with her cheeks all pink " _Marshall_ , you shouldn't be running!" she said worriedly as he stopped before her, panting "Your head…" she started but Marshall interrupted her by waving his hand as he finally took the last deep breath to steady himself.

"It's fine." he said "It's been fine for at least a week now. The rest has paid off." he smiled at her and she smiled at him, both looking a bit curious until Marshall's face suddenly encapsulated an emotion it never truly did fully, a seriousness combined with passion "Hester, I need to tell you something." he said finally.

Hester came up closer to him and felt her heart pounding slightly in her chest "Go on?" she said hesitantly.

"I don't know if I should but…" he shook his head "Oh, what the hell, if I won't say it I'll hate myself forever." he suddenly took a step closer to her and now they stood only inches away from one another, Marshall looking down at her and Hester looking up, her neck hurting a little already.

"What is it?" she asked him slowly even though the puzzles in her head started to finally set in the right place.

"Do you remember when I told you that I haven't known for sure that Jo wasn't the one for me until just recently?" he asked her and she nodded "That recently was actually the day when I arrived back home and saw you playing piano in the Ingleside's living room." he said fiercely with a smile both on his lips and in his eyes as he reached for her hands.

That was it, oh God, _that_ was it! Her mind screamed as if she was being ripped in half. That feeling, these emotions whenever she'd see him. That feeling she had when she saw him on that day when she played the piano… It all made sense, it just _clicked_. She was always told by her parents that the reason true meaning of love is so hard to find is because the feeling one has in his or her heart whilst discovering it, is never something extraordinary, it is quite the contrary: it's calm and temperate yet all at once and with full speed of simply… _knowing_.

Hester thought about Seb: did it feel any different? Yes, with Seb she felt as if she was on fire, she felt as if her heart could pop out of her chest as she was almost scared to breathe. It wasn't like that now. Her heart beat faster but not tremendously faster, she breathed normally, her mind was clear and for the very first time in her life, Hester felt _certain_. "I know I'm not poetic like Seb was." Marshall said, looking deeply and honestly into Hester's twinkling eyes with a grin on the lips of his own "I'm not an educated man. I'm not in any way near being "financially stable" but for Heaven's sakes I _am_ selfish and I _do_ love you more than anything I've ever known in my life." he said it fiercely as he squeezed her hands as if for reassurance of his words.

Hester's lips broke into a smile as she squeezed his hands back "I don't care you're not any of those things." she said quietly to him, her voice calm and steady yet full of brightness "I don't care you're not like Seb, don't you _ever_ be like him." she released her hand and put it on his cheek as he observed her every move attentively "Marshall, I _love_ you for _you_ and for all the shapes and forms that you are." suddenly Marshall's green eyes filled with such happiness that Hester's own filled with tears "Yes, I love you too, dearest." she whispered finally and he put his hands on her waist as she put her hands on his chest, where she knew they fitted perfectly.

"Kid," he whispered "-you've just made one miserable man a very happy one with his head full of dreams.".

"I'm glad." she whispered back "I just hope that your dreams match mine somewhere along the way."

"They do." he said decidedly with a smile "They've always have." and then he kissed her, as simply as it can be done and just as complicatedly also. The wind was blowing on them softly as their kisses deepened and became even sweeter, there on that lane and right in front of the ancient Lighthouse, there in that village of Four Winds where now Hester knew _anything_ could happen.


	34. A Sonnet

**_Chapter XXXIV_**

9th May 1944

Dearest Diary,

I don't think I have ever felt freer and more loved ever since the war has started. I feel almost infinite and unreal to the world as if I didn't quite belong to it. I've _never_ felt anything like it.

Back in October 1941, Seb asked me to wait for him to come back from the front and I thought that that was it, that it was the most beautiful and certain thing in the world but I suppose I was too young to know that it wasn't. I was blinded by love for him. I still remember being always a little nervous about meeting Seb and when he eventually went overseas I always felt a bit shaky whilst writing to him, I always had to check over each word twice so that he'd understand what I relly mean and so that I wouldn't seem unintelligent to him. Now, with Marshall, everything is so much different. My love for him did not blind me and instead, it opened my eyes wider. I feel like I can see the world in new colours of life, so much more vibrant and true than ever before.

Nobody apart from us two knows about our love (for it isn't possible for me to call it only sweethearting or courting anymore, it's much deeper than that). I've never had a secret from my parents and my bosom friends but it seems that this one is required for a little while, for as long as that week lasts and both Marshall and I can spend the evenings together, telling each of our families something different. I tell Mum that I'm going off to compose at the shore as it's always giving me inspiration and Marshall tells his mother that he's going off to the Rainbow Valley to sketch as he's in his "piece of creative mind". Instead, both of us meet in the Rainbow Valley or at the shore, near the Lighthouse (it seems we both adore this place eternally) and we hold hands whilst walking and talking about everything, _everything_! Oh! It's so wonderful to be able to have a person with whom you truly can talk about anything that comes into your mind and not feel stupid or embarrassed afterwards! Of course, I've always had my parents or my friends to talk to but… This is just _different_ … Good kind of different.

Marshall is exactly like I've always thought he is, even before we "met" (we always call our true "meeting" the day when Marshall came back to Canada and we spent the whole afternoon together, talking). He's very much like Gil, he's funny and loves to tease everyone whenever he can… However, he is different from him, in many ways too. He winks much more than Gil, he thinks in a more abstract way, he has much more energy within himself (he can hardly stay in one place when he talks about something that excites him) and also, Marshall has a heart of a true soldier whereas Gilly has a heart of soldier who no longer desires to be a soldier.

Marshall is truly fighting for his country, his family, his future and now as he said to me "For you, always and forever, honey.". Gilly was just like that at the beginning as well but ever since he has met Daria, all he really wants to do is to go back to Canada and start his life with her and never go back to the front at all. His goal and direction has changed _entirely_.

My darling Marshall, I don't even know how to correctly and without any amiss explain here how much I not only love him but also admire him. I love the fact that even though he's so strong and brave he can still be sensitive enough and cry in my arms when he needs to let go of the rush of emotions overcoming him. I love the fact that _I_ can cry in his arms whenever the same emotions rush over me. I love the fact that I feel safe and respected in every way whenever I'm with him, whenever our hands touch, whenever he touches my cheek, whenever we pretend-dance or laugh or kiss… Oh, the kisses are the sweetest and the purest of all the ones I've ever received in my life.

I can't help it. I _love_ him and I can feel my heart being shattered into pieces and thrown into the very deepest end of the Niagara Falls' the very second I think about him leaving in just five more days! He reassures me that he'll be fine but how can I ever be sure? He was reported wounded and missing once already and from what we've heard it is a miracle every time a soldier actually is found later on. But then Marshall himself told me, when we were lying together underneath the White Lady with my head on his chest and his arms around me, with his impish smile: "Hes, imagine what would happen if I didn't go wounded and missing. If I wasn't injured in my head and all of that, I wouldn't be here in Canda right now and I wouldn't have known, _ever_ , that Hester Leslie Ford who was certainly the last person in my mind whom I'd think I'd love one day, would be sitting here with me in this moment." and I suppose he's right, at least his kiss confirmed that afterwards.

I do have hope, though. That's another thing I love about him and it's that he, with his coming back to Canada for this one perfect month, has brought light into my life when I thought that it has gone out of it with no hope of it coming back. Marshall is here with me and he always says all of those words and phrases like "Don't worry, it will be alright, dearest.", "It's fine, honey, keep on believing." and many more which are the kind one can think overrated and too prosy (something what Selwyn might have thought) but even though I did think that my love would _have_ to be poetic, I don't think like that anymore because Marshall speaks from his heart which is so prosy it hurts, in this beautiful kind of way.

I can't believe that I truly have found love, _the_ love, not just yet. When I received Lily's letter about her engagement to John, I thought that I would never find a love like that myself, such pure and fantastical love of friendship and romance combined together. And yet I _did_ and I still think of it all as a dream until Marshall grabs my hand, turns me around and kisses me on the lips before me even realising that he has been in the Rainbow Valley waiting for me already.

The day Seb sent me that letter about his engagement to Flora was also the day when I cried in Phillip's arms. I remember how we both talked about me now waiting for my love to come to me and how exciting that was; that someone in that very moment was _there_. But then I remember when I thought that maybe I _know_ that person already and in that moment a thrill went through me which I now know what it meant… Truly, everything is written in the stars of fate, every single thought and action, everything.

Sometimes, I think I'm crazy and that Marshall gave me this madness of his. I've known him, truly known him for _three weeks_ only! But then… Does it matter at all? I remember Daria telling me that she knew she'd marry Gil just two days after she spoke with him for the first time ("and if he wouldn't agree I would _make_ him agree!").

For me, I think I've known this since I saw Marshall standing above me when I was playing Beethoven in the Ingleside's living room. I felt as if… something went through me like a knife through butter, as if it was inevitable. I didn't know what was inevitable yet but now I do. And then with each day that we would meet up and talk and I'd be placing his fingers on the piano keys or he would place my fingers on the paper and shade the flower I drew so badly yet he'd still compliment me on it, I could feel that something felt different and yet right, however, I didn't know what that was exactly. Only on that day when Marshall ran up to me and told me of his feelings, everything clicked in one place and everything made sense to me in an instant. It was truly the epiphany of my life.

It's almost midnight and so I suppose I need to go to sleep and I have to be awake tomorrow because Marshall and I will be going for a long walk in the Rainbow Valley and we'll talk and talk and kiss _and_ kiss… I have to count _these_ each, at least twice.

Goodnight,

Yours,

Hester

* * *

"What were _your_ dreams when you were turning twenty?" Hester asked Marshall as both of them were walking slowly, hand in hand, down the green Rainbow Valley of May and birdsong, nearing to sunset.

Marshall smiled at her softly, another brown curl rolling down his forehead "I'm not _that_ old, honey-kid." he replied with a smirk and both chuckled together "But I do remember what my dreams were all of those four years ago... which really does seem like a lifetime ago." he smiled lovingly at her "I wished to be the best soldier I can be, and my dream of becoming an Art teacher was still on my list just like it is now." he then put Hester's chin higher, tenderly and kissed her affectionately as Hester smiled at him afterwards "But now it's not the dream that's at the very top of my list." he whispered as their hands were interlocked and Marshall's chin was resting on Hester's forehead.

Hester looked up into his green eyes and she grinned dreamily "And what is at th every top of your list now, Marshall?" she asked him.

"It's for me to always have you by my side, kid, be it in thoughts, mind or truly right next to me like you are right now." he whispered and kissed her nose sweetly as she put her hand on his cheek.

"I always will be, I promise." she said to him quietly and with full decidedness as he looked seriously into her eyes.

"I will always be next to you, Hester, I promise too." he said and then put his hands on her shoulders "No, I _vow_ to you, Hester, not just promise."

Her eyes suddenly filled with horror and fear as she put her hands on her mouth, gasping for air "Oh, my _God_!" she exclaimed "You're going away in two days time! I can't bear it, I _can't_! What if something happens to you? What will I do then?" she asked him desperately, her voice concerned like never before as she clutched to his cheeks with her hands.

Marshall kissed her meaningfully "Listen to me, Hester Leslie Ford." he said to her decidedly "I won't promise that nothing will happen to me because neither of us knows that. But I _will_ promise you that I will be the most careful man out there, Gil and others will laugh at me and joke because of that but I won't care." he kissed her again, even stronger as if to prove it "I won't give up whatever happens. If anything does happen to me, though," that's when Hester trembled a little but Marshall squeezed her shoulders a bit to reassure her of his words "-you'll survive. You'll keep on going and living as you always do. Because you're the strongest person I know." he smiled at her then even though his own eyes became misty too.

"How would I do that if anything… _fatal_ … happens to you?" she whispered out as if she has lost her voice which trembled still.

Marshall looked into her hazel eyes and then put her into an embrace, her head on his chest and his hand on her black, curly hair, both pairs of their eyes closed firmly "Don't think about it when you don't need to, honey." he whispered calmly even though Hester could hear something inside his chest shake "But if something like that does happen, you will carry on living and I will be the happiest in your memories of me."

Hester's cheeks were wet by then and she pulled away just to look at Marshall whose face was a bit whiter than usual but calm and smiling at her nonetheless "I won't think about it when I don't need to." she repeated his words as he smiled at her, wider this time.

"Don't, honey-kid." he said to her when he put his hand gently on her cheeks and wiped away her tears, smiling at her lovingly still "God, you're so beautiful, Hester. Inside and out and I am the happiest and luckiest man in the entire world."

Hester smiled at him then "And I am the happiest and luckiest woman in the entire world because I have you, dearest Marshall." she put a hand on his chest pocket where she could feel was her silk scarf neatly tucked in "You'll always be in my heart."

"And you in mine." he smiled down at her again and as he leaned in to kiss her, however, he raised his eyebrow impishly and looked into her eyes instead "You know, I think that even I, the old prosy man, could write a poem about you." he said mysteriously with a grin and twinkling eyes "Or even the… what you call that love poem again?" he asked suddenly and Hester laughed merrily, forgetting about the still slightly moist tears on her cheeks.

"A sonnet, you silly man." she said and Marshall laughed too, whilst slapping himself on the forehead.

"Of course!" he chuckled and then kissed her hand like a gentleman would as she blushed heavily whilst smiling "But I could write it, I think, it's very easy to write one for you, Hes." he smiled at her tenderly.

"Really?" Hester raised her own eyebrow now "How would you start it then?" she asked him softly, coming a step closer to him.

"Like that." he said and kissed her nose "And then I would come to halfway through with the climax…" he now kissed her cheek and she started to chuckle almost silently "And end with the…"

"-rhyming couplet." she whispered and both chuckled, their faces only inches away.

"A deciding rhyming couplet." Marshall said just as decidedly and leant in to kiss her lips now, both of them drinking the whole moment in, as if they were to be separated at any moment.

Suddenly they both heard the voices of Anne and Gilbert, walking arm in arm through the tree full Rainbow Valley and Marshall smirked at Hester funnily. He grabbed her hand and they both ran quickly behind the White Lady, quietly laughing. Finally, Hester landed on Marshall's chest as he was leaning against the wide, ancient tree with his arms around her and their eyes swimming through each other's faces as if trying to memorise each feature, each small imperfection that for each was a perfection in all its beauty.

It was one of the moments Hester knew she wouldn't forget. They didn't talk, didn't whisper a word while they waited for her grandparents to be safely far enough not to hear or see them both. But even without words Hester was looking at her sweetheart, at her own young man, the person she knew was the person she would never be afraid of truly losing, the person she loved, however ridiculous and fast it all seemed. It wasn't too fast, nor too ridiculous, for Hester though, for her it was wonderful. She couldn't describe it in any other word. And in that specific moment she couldn't concentrate on anything else but those four freckles hardly visible on his nose, his long pink scar widening from underneath his shirt up to his jaw which never scared her at all and finally, on his bright, emerald-green eyes she knew held no secrets before her.

"I think they've come away now." Hester whispered with a soft smile on her face.

Marshall sighed softly and put his hands on her cheeks tenderly "I think so too." he whispered back and then smiled down at her lovingly, his entire face speaking I-Love-Everything-About-You and his chest beating heavily underneath Hester's own which beat in the same rhythm "I will always have that scarf with me. Just like you in my heart." he said to her gently.

Hester smiled up at him, her hazel eyes full of tears of both happiness and fear "And I'll wait for you, my Marshall." she whispered to him, putting her hands on his own which still rested on her cheeks "For however long you won't be able to finish that sonnet about me." she smiled at him again and both chuckled quietly as if not to wake up the ghosts hidden behind each tree around them.

Marshall put his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes "I will write it all over again tomorrow." he whispered.

"The day before you go back." she said again.

"Yes." he replied and then pulled her into an embrace "And then the day I come back to you too."

Hester felt Marshall's arms around her, she could still smell canvas on his shirt and could see a stain of yellow paint on his sleeve. She smiled while closing her eyes, feeling she's home and that he will be too, whenever that day would come.


	35. The Weight Of Spring

**_Chapter XXXV_**

Hester woke up with the sun shining right onto her as pale as dove's face, her hazel eyes twinkling as she rapidly sat up with her hand placed on her chest "My goodness!" she exclaimed quietly "I'm _twenty_ years old!" and she chuckled merrily, putting her head down on the pillow for a few more moments, thinking of the entire day ahead of her which she knew it would be full of love, friendship and love once again.

But it wasn't too long before Hester knocked on Daria's door. Daria opened it promptly with a dancing smile upon her face "Time to dress up, you grown-up sister of mine." and both of them ran like little children to Hester's bedroom, soon joined by Rilla and Poppy.

Hester truly felt like a birthday girl (or a birthday _woman_ ) as Daria did her hair and her mother helped her with the dress Ken especially bought for his daughter's birthday. A deep navy blue with silver buttons and puffy sleeves at which Anne laughed joyfully when she saw them but which she still couldn't deny being any less beautiful.

As Hester was sitting in front of a mirror and observed Daria wriggling with her hair, Rilla sewing a black veil which she found at the attic around a navy-blue hat and Poppy playing with the hem of Hester's dress, her own mind was floating around as if in a bubble and a soft smile was visible upon her lips. She promised herself, and Marshall, that she wouldn't think of him leaving the day after and she was keeping that promise so far even though there was still a silent gloomy whisper at the back of her mind nonetheless.

However, the silent whisper can't be heard quite clearly when one is putting on her birthday dress, a pretty hat, her polished high heels and a bright red lipstick borrowed from her cousin Jo "You look _so_ beautiful!" Daria gasped in delight when she, Rilla and Poppy in her mother's arms stood behind Hester, all of them in front of the big mirror in the hall.

Hester smiled at her own reflection. The realisation that she is truly a twenty years old young woman with her teenage and childhood years behind her dawned on her like a wave of both coldness and warmth. The dress fitted her perfectly around her slim waist as gorgeous puffed sleeves and the brilliant small navy-blue hat with a black veil slightly coming over her forehead made her look like a true movie star. Hester smiled and then kissed Daria's and Rilla's cheeks as well as Poppy's small hands "Thank you, my darlings." she said to them and only then she became aware of the voices, laughter and chattering coming from the garden of the House fo Dreams "Shall we go then?" she asked.

Daria and Rilla shared a secret glance with their twinkling eyes which made Hester look at them both with curiosity in her own "I'll check if everything is ready and then you can come downstairs!" Daria chirruped excitedly as she flew out of the room like a bird, after taking Poppy from Rilla's arms who at her request had to say a few words to her daughter alone.

When the door closed behind Daria and Poppy, Rilla put her soft hands on Hester's white cheeks and looked into her eyes. The same shade of hazel as her own, Rilla's eyes filled with tears already as she smiled at her grown-up daughter "Twenty years ago I held you for the very first day in my arms." she said quietly, her voice so full of pride that Hester's own eyes started to become watery "On that very day I knew, I was _certain_ that you, Hester darling, will become a wonderful, talented, passionate and beautiful woman you are today." she kissed Hester's nose then "I want you to know that I am _so_ proud of you, both your father and I are, that our hearts burst with joy which only a parent truly understands." she squeezed Hester's hands and her cheeks started to have little riverfalls dripping from them "I wish you, my dearest girl, all the happiness and luck in this huge world and I want you to know that whatever happens, you will always have me to rely on."

Hester's own cheeks now matched her mother's as she pulled her into an embrace "Oh, mummy, I love you _so_ much it hurts." she whispered into Rilla's ear "And I know that I can rely on you and daddy always. And you can _always_ rely on me too."

Rilla patted Hester's cheek softly, grinning into her eyes tenderly "I know we can." she said and in that moment the door opened up and Ken's head appeared before them, with a huge smile on his face.

"Stop crying you two ninnies!" he chuckled and so did the two women standing next to him "Everything is ready now. Shall we go downstairs then?" he oustretched his arm to Hester who took it promptly and quickly wiped away her tears, excitement overflowing her entirely now.

"Let's go then." she said and so they all started to walk downstairs, into the garden. Before they exited their home into the green world fulfilled with flowers and people, though, Ken kissed Hester's cheek "You look beautiful, my dear girl." he whispered to her "Happy birthday." he winked at her and opened the door to the garden.

Everyone was there, waiting. When Hester stepped outside everyone looked at her in awe and then started to cheer and surround her with gifts, kisses and words of wisdom, pride and luck. Vance, Marion, Jo and Daria overflowed Hester with new pages for her compositions, several new ribbons, a new dress sewn from some old yet beautiful pink curtain and most importantly they all embraced Hester saying those sweet words she needed to hear especially from those bosom friends of hers. She felt very saddened that neither of her brothers or boy-cousins could be there. She also missed both Lily and Phillip and wished they could be there to celebrate her birthday but she knew that they were there somehow anyway, it was inevitable not to feel their presence.

Then, at the very end, Marshall came forwards and kissed Hester on the cheek. He was fully dressed in a suit with a linen shirt although his brown curls were still very much in disorder and his eyes shone so much that Hester feared for a second that someone could have seen it. But then she actually didn't care if anyone has. "Happy birthday, kid." he said to her with a grin and handed her the package.

"Thank you, Marshall." she replied with blushed cheeks and a smile of her own. She started to unpack the gift quickly and there it was: the painting of Hester in the Rainbow Valley, twirling around in her white dress with the very certain old scraf flying around in her hand. Hester looked at it with her mouth ajar and then she smiled widely as her eyes were misty again.

"Turn it around." he encouraged her with a grin and so she did what he said. Behind the canvas, in Marshall's calligraphic style a note was written: " _Always stay this way, dearest kid. Happy 20th and many more to come too_.".

Hester looked up at him and just about stopped herself from stepping on her toes and kissing him and so she simply squeezed his hand and smiled with eyes full of tears "I will, Marshall." she whispered and he winked at her tenderly "Thank you."

'Never say 'thank you' to me." he whispered back and then kissed her cheek quickly enough when nobody was watching 'You're welcome though, honey." and he winked at her before Ken approached Hester from the back.

"Don't you think, my girl, that your old parents haven't thought about a gift for you." he said as he put his hands on her shoulders, guiding her to the corner of their garden "Come on everyone! It's for everyone to see!" he called out and everyone followed Ken who was manouvering Hester to the right wing of the garden where there was always an open space left for the children, when they were still small and now for Poppy, to come and play.

As soon as Ken stopped in his tracks so did Hester and she frowned a little and then laughed aloud "Daddy! What is going on?" she asked him and her mother. Her family was starting to surround a large group of strangers all dressed in suits and carrying violins, cellos and bases with a conductor in the middle, smiling at flushed Hester who although quite confused was very much entertained already.

Ken and Rilla shared a knowing glance with Daria who squeezed Hester's hand suddenly from the left "Surprise, surprise, you don't have to look for your composition anymore because it was never really lost." Ken said to Hester whose eyes suddenly widened as a realisation of what was happening was slowly dawning on her.

"Daria searched through your compositions and found the one you loved the most, "Hope and Our Rainbow Valley"." Rilla said with a nod at Daria who smiled even wider and all the people surrounding the orchestra and Hester in the middle exclaimed in delight as they too started to realise what was about to happen "And we sent it to Charlottetown's orchestra and asked if they could practise it and then play it for the composer... _you_ , dearest girl." she said with again tears in her eyes and Hester's jaw opened slightly as she put her hands on her mouth.

"Are you serious?" she breathed out and everyone around her chuckled tenderly " _Really_?" she smiled brightly at the orchestra and a tall blonde-haired conductor smiled back at her.

"I've never experienced more joy in practising a composition, Miss Ford." he said to her and she smiled. Hester kissed both of her parents and Daria heartily "Shall we begin?" he asked and Hester then nodded along, her fingers twitching nervoursly.

And so it began.

The strings twitched into a birdsong, bases and cellos rang in the slow peaceful rhythm and Hester could not believe her own ears nor eyes nor anything that was happening around her for the first few seconds. She was just as mesmarised as everyone else around her. It was like she imagined it to sound like, it was like she wrote it down, like she played with her violin those several different variations in the heart of Rainbow Valley, whilst changing notes, improving and then leaving them with certainty they were the right ones. It was all too good to be true, to have this as a reality happening in front of her eyes.

It was spring in its sound yet a waltz in its rhythm, yet art overall. Everyone around Hester had tears in their eyes as she had in her own, it was truly the title in its true meaning and definition. Anne and Gilbert held hands and Anne's face was a picture of what she once imagined love to be like and what it truly was indeed. Ken and Rilla joined each other's hands, both holding Poppy, with their wet cheeks and eyes full of pride and wonder. Vance and Marion also weeped and smiled so widely that Hester almost doubted if they truly still were her timid Marion and Vance. Jo and Fleur in her arms were floating in the air along with the music, with smiles upon both of their faces. Daria squeezed Hester's hands tightly in hers and didn't even feel soft tears falling onto her flushed cheeks as she thought of her husband at the front. Marshall's own cheeks were wet and for the first time in his life he wasn't ashamed of showing them in public, on the contrary, he was proud of their display. However, what he watched wasn't the orchestra but the crying, laughing and smiling Hester standing on the opposite side of the orchestra, who held on tight to her sister-in-law's hands.

Hester's life in that moment was complete and full of everything. Of course, it would be fuller if all the boys she loved and who weren't there could hear it and get a glimpse of that hope too but nonetheless she knew that she would never forget that moment and what she didn't realise was that not a single person around her would ever forget that moment either. It was truly a miracle in a song and even when it ended, everyone's hearts were overfilled with hope and happiness, even if just for a little while only; and that was enough.

* * *

A whistle.

A long, loud whistle and the atmosphere of the train station of Glen St Mary stood almost still, but not the people being its guests. The train arrived and there were only five minutes left until its departure. There weren't as many people as the last time Hester was there, she couldn't even remember who was the last person she said her farewells to on that station… It was hard to believe that a day overfilled with such joy and music of celebration of her twentieth spring on Earth happened only a day before. The sun could still be shining down from the indigo sky like it did on her birthday but this time she hardly noticed it.

Hester stood next to the brave Vance of misty blue eyes who was now in turn to kiss her brother goodbye as he was ready in his uniform and spirits to go back to the front, to finish his duty for the country and people he loved so dearly. Marshall's and Vance's parents were there, so were Hester's with Daria, Poppy as well as Anne and Gilbert and John and Rosemary to wish the best of luck the Air Commodore Marshall Douglas in all his handsomeness and never going away impishness.

Hester didn't even realise when Marshall took her pale hands in his own, squeezing them gently. She could feel his eyes on her own although she didn't look up immediately, she closed her own eyes instead. Nobody still knew of their love for one another and that was a reason why they shared their last kiss last night when Hester announced she'd be going to collect her original notes from the outside and Marshall that he'd help her. 'It is better that way', she was saying to herself, '-now at least you have the courage not to swell up with sadness and panic like you'd do otherwise'.

Marshall wouldn't have it, though, and he put her chin higher so she opened her eyes to look into his bright emeralds "Be brave, kid." he said to her with a wistful enough voice and a smile "I know you will be but it seems I have to say it to you to prove to myself that I should be too."

"Be careful, Marshall." Hester said with a slightly cracked voice, trying her hardest to achieve a hopeful smile yet only achieveing a grade C in it.

He smiled one more time at her, heartbreak painted on his face and in his eyes and he kissed the corner of her lips swiftly before quickly turning around, taking his suitcases and coming inside the train without looking back. Hester knew Marshall well enough to know that he couldn't bare any of the farewells anymore and that that was the reason for his action which frankly didn't surprise anyone at all.

Mary embraced Vance at the side and both of their faces were pentrated by tears of hope yet fear while Miller held them both at his chest. Rilla and Ken, along with Daria, Anne, Gilbert, Rosemary and John stood on the side, looking at one another wistfully yet with understanding and pride written over their faces. Hester stood on her own then and she suddenly felt so alone like she never did before in her life.

She came closer to the train, just like Vance and her parents did and suddenly, when the last whistle started blowing, signalling only a minute before the train's expectant departure, Marshall jumped out of the train and looked at Hester with life encapsulated by the brightness in his eyes " _Damn_ it all!" he said passionately, coming over to Hester "I love _you_ , Hester Leslie Ford." he put a strand of Hester's black curl behind her ear as she struggled for her breath "And I'll marry you when I come back, do you hear me?" he asked her decidedly and she smiled at him through the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I do." she whispered and Marshall smiled back at her with tears in his eyes as well as put his arms around her waist, leaning her behind and kissing her affectionately and with all his power and lack of time as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Everyone looked at the scene as if they were enchanted. The tears on Vance's cheeks and Mary's stopped almost abruptly and their mouths opened slightly. Rilla and Ken looked at each other with a glance of knowingness, Daria clapped her hands together in a sudden wave of joy which everyone felt too and Anne smiled widely, feeling satisfaction achieved.

Marshall then put Hester back on the ground and smiled impishly at her, winking "Keep on playing, my darling-girl." he whispered to her "I will hear your music wherever I go."

Hester kissed him on the lips again as he was slowly getting back on the train "And you keep on sketching, wherever you are." she whispered back to him "I will see your art everywhere I am."

Marshall smiled down at her, tapping the scarf resting inside the pocket of his jacket "I'll see you soon, kid." he said and kissed her again before turning to his family with a wave of his hand "I'll see you soon, all!" he called out to them as they started cheering. Marshall looked into Hester's hazel eyes again. They spoke and witheld promises to one another and then, just like that, the train was gone.

 **Hello, my lovely readers, it's Bathsheba here. Thank you all so very much for reading and reviewing this story of mine, as well as favouriting and following it, it all means a lot to me as both the writer and a person. Hopefully you enjoy the story so far. I have actually dropped in my personal comment here because I wanted to share with you the composition that inspired me to actually create the character of Hester and which I also had in mind whilst thinking about the composition she wrote: "Hope and Our Rainbow Valley". This beauty of a music is called "Spring 1" by Max Richter who recomposed the original "Spring" by Vivaldi. If you love classical music (as I do) the recomposition of Vivaldi's Four Seasons by Max Richter is simply beautiful so give yourself a treat and check it out if you want to know what inspired me to write about Hester and this particular chapter too :)**

 **Thank you all again. See you next Sunday! - Bathsheba Blythe**


	36. It's Not Over Yet

**_Chapter XXXVI_**

10th June 1944

Dearest friend,

Thank you ever so much for your long and detailed letter which explained your entire new position in life and so the fact that there's a new man in your life. May I then congratulate you, dear, on your engagement to Mr Marshall Douglas. I wish you two _the_ best of luck and happiness in this world which I do hope will soon change into a better place than it is now and will allow both of you to be together.

Of course, I don't mind you keeping this secret from me, Hester, how could I ever hold anything against you anyway? It was actually quite wise to keep your sweethearting with Marshall in hiding as obviously, like you explained yourself, this allowed you two to be only _you two_ and not everyone else _and_ you two. Your whole story is quite remarkable, may I add.

I do remember when Seb sent you that memorable letter and you said to me that you "can feel that someone" is waiting for you as you're waiting for him. I remember your excitement when you realised it might be a man who you know already and there you go, it _was_ a man you knew all your life, even before you met me! I would have never thought, out of all the people in the world, that the man who would steal your heart is going to be Marshall Douglas, _never_.

Hester, dearest, I knew you'd ask me about my own feelings ("because… because _you know_ , Phillip…?") and I will tell you the truth which you deserve to know. I love you, as a friend and maybe even a bit more still but all the events happening in your life and mine too only convey that the two of us are not meant to be together, at least not in _that_ way like you and Marshall are. The way you described him to me in your latest letter, Hester… Even a blind person would have been able to _read_ the love shining through your writing there. You've never spoken about Seb that way and I know that, as you wrote yourself, "never will about anyone else". And I am truly and most profoundly happy for the both of you. I will pray for your Marshall to come back home safely to you, dearest, I know he will.

How wonderfully pleasant it was to read about the reaction of your family about your engagement which appeared to them, or at least some of them, out of nowhere. Daria, of course, knew and I don't blame her (I myself knew from your letters that your spirit developed sudden and unexplained wings and I would catch myself questioning what has happened in your life that caused them to grow so quickly) at all, her squeaking was truly very funny to read about.

Your parents are so understanding and always happy that I really _do_ envy you. My parents only worry and see the world in black colours. There's not a letter in which my mother doesn't say something along the lines of "My son, _my son_ what will I do if anything will happen to you? Any scratch on your beautiful skin will kill me entirely…" I simply can't stand it sometimes.

It is truly funny, like your father said, that in some ways your story with Marshall mirrors his and your mother's love story. No wonder they are so happy about your engagement to Marshall then. I can only imagine how happy and excited your Gil will be once he hears about it (he is Marshall's best friend after all!).

Your grandma Anne… Well, of course, she _is_ the queen of matchmaking and no wonder that she knew from the first glance on Marshall when you played the piano that you two are going to be together eventually. I suppose that without her manipulation on that day nothing would have happened between you two… Or maybe it would anyway? Who knows?

And then, of course, your grandparents Ford all embracing you tightly at the news… I so wish I was there to witness all of this secret key to happiness and simple joy I haven't seen in a while now…

What jolly news that Walt and Cornelia are back in Canada! I can only imagine both Walt's and Cornelia's parents and siblings crying from joy over seeing them both all together. No matter the amputated foot of Walt, I can truly see in my own mind his shining eyes as he looks down at Vance's sister…

Tell Walt: good idea on deciding to go to Redmond in September to study Physics before he'd settle down for good. That's very wise of him and, of course, your Uncle Jem must be very happy about his oldest son to be studying Physics. I envy him so much! To be able to come back to your own home, your own people and roots, with a beautiful wife on his shoulder and future right in front of him… Even though he has been through a very difficult time, like all of us here.

It's all fine, dear Hester. Don't worry about me because I know that now you're asking me whether I'm fine, you kind soul. Sure I am! How can I not be? After all, if I lose hope what will be left here in the trenches of Italy? Nothing at all. Hope is the key to survival over here.

I wish I could squeeze this small sister of yours, dear Poppy. Such a sweet photograph you've sent me of her in your last letter. She is really messy when she eats, isn't she? A sweetheart and she does look like you, Hester. The same shape of the eyes, nose, lips… all the same apart from, as you said yourself, the hair which is purely red, I can even guess that from this photograph.

I shall be going now, dearest. Again, congratulations on your happiness with Mr Douglas. What a lucky, _lucky_ man he is!

Goodnight, friend.

Always yours,

Second Lieutenant Phillip Jones

* * *

12th June 1944

My honey,

This is a short letter that I'm writing at the post office in Dover. I do want to write a long one but I can't because I'll be on the ferry to Europe in an hour and a half's time. However, I had to write something to you from this city of white cliffs. I've been here for two weeks for my final and last tests, as you know already, and now I am finally (or rather _unfortunately_ because if I could I'd go back to you, kid) going to meet Gil once again and go back to the front.

Darling, I can't say anything now but that I want to take your hand in mine and walk on those white cliffs with you. I can see them very clearly from here right in this very moment. It's the third time I have seen them and every time but now I always wanted to go to the front right _now_ and do my duty _now_ and with no delay whatsoever. _Now_ , though, all I want to do is to hop on a different ship I'm about to come aboard soon and come all the way back to Canada, then I want to put your head on my chest so that you can hear my heart beating, darling girl, because it's beating for _you_.

Of course, I do want to do my duty still but now I am doing it truly for a different reason, I'm doing it especially for you, Hester-kid. If your brother and my best friend for that matter will disapprove I shall simply slap him across the face, I apologise to you in advance, dearest heart. But I'm sure he's as fine with our engagement as he said to me in his last letter to me.

Honey, I still have your scarf in the pocket of my uniform and believe it or not it still does smell like you, a mixture of the strings of your cello and a baby-smell of your Poppy who always wants to be carried by you.

I couldn't say it before but I will now. You know, dear girl, whenever I saw you playing with small Poppy or when you were holding her asleep in your arms and kissing her chubby cheeks my chest would simply fill with butterflies of all the dreams that so suddenly appeared in my mind, like never before. She just looks _so_ much like you, apart from her red locks, that I can't help but wonder how our children would, no: _will_ look like. I still remember how you told me once that when you and Seb corresponded together still, you couldn't quite agree on either the number or the gender of your children, you'd like to have two boys and two girls like your parents have and Seb wanted to have three boys instead. Hester, if you'd ask me, I simply don't mind either the number or the gender as long as they're all healthy and as beautiful as you are.

I already see that you have made me a more poetic man than I've ever been, if that's possible. You do make miracles happen, Hester, and never think otherwise. Do you think that women who are the most vibrant and outspoken are the ones who are the most successful, passionate and beautiful inside and out? No, dear. Of course, some of them are, I'm not saying that they're not but honey, a person with such full heart and a mind full of intelligence, imagination and creativity will go nowhere but _everywhere_ she wants to. You truly do make me look at you (or in the case of today, at your photograph) in awe and if there's someone who doesn't look at you like that then let them keep on looking.

Here, that's my letter to you, my dearest-girl who sends the longest, the sweetest and the most wonderful letters to your man. For that is exactly what I am. If I'm nobody at all, then at least I know that I belong to you and I _always_ will.

Put your chin up high, kid, and know that I'm thinking of you _always_ and that I will be always going back to you, dear. I _will_ come back.

Forever and ever your fiance,

Marshall

* * *

It was a Sunday and the family of Blythes, Merediths and Fords (as well as Douglases) were sitting together outside at the family table; eating, talking, joking and laughing together whilst the miracle called the beginning of summer was floating all around them. The birdsong accompanied the baby-talk of Poppy and Fleur, who spoke the Poppeur-ish together in the most advanced and fluent way possible whilst held by both their sister and mother respectively. Walt and Cornelia were sweethearting together in the corner, causing everyone to look at them from time to time and sigh in contentment. Owen and Leslie Ford visited their family that weekend and they talked passionately together with their old friends Anne and Gilbert whilst another miracle called life was happening all around them too.

"Oh, so he _did_ learn that piece then!" Daria clasped her hands together after Hester told her friends about the funny situation that happened during her music lesson in the morning. Hester chuckled and then shook her head and all the girls, or rather women, sitting around her laughed in unison, their cheeks turning pink. Even Fleur and Poppy started to laugh themselves, wobbling to the front and back.

"I haven't laughed like that in weeks!" Jo wiped away the tears from her flushed cheeks and then kissed Fleur who started to play with her brown braid in her chubby hands.

"It's good to always be able to find something funny, even in times like these." Marion said with a soft smile on her face and all the girls smiled back at her in agreement "I wish that Lily could be here today, though, she'd love this weather." she looked around and up into the sunshine.

All the girls did the same and grinned together "Oh, I wish that too." Hester said melancholically "But then she _is_ doing her own duty and she's happy doing it, and besides we'll see her soon enough, I think." she said.

"You think that the war will end soon?" Vance asked her, both doubtfully and hopefully.

"I don't know… but I have _this_ feeling that everything is slowly falling into place, you know?" Hester said and then bounced Poppy on her knee with skill unachievable sometimes by mothers themselves.

"I know what you mean." Daria agreed merrily "I think so too and also…" she started but was interrupted by a sudden scream coming from the table where the older generation was sitting.

Everyone turned their heads immediately. Hester thought then that her heart was stuck inside of her throat and she could hardly breathe. Nan was gasping for air as she sobbed terribly in Jerry's trembling from his own tears arms. "Not _my_ Johnny! Not my _baby_ …" she wept aloud and Jo's face, as well as Walt's, went entirely white.

Jo quickly put Fleur into Hester's arms that were now filled with both babies and she stood up, looking gravely at her parents who looked at her then and Jerry, with trembling voice, said to her and everyone else "John was killed in action…" and then he too fell into the inevitable circle of grief.

Jo screamed then, mirroring the sound of her mother a few seconds earlier, and collapsed to the ground as Daria quickly appeared by her side, letting her friend's head to rest on her shoulder. Walt put his face into his hands and started to tremble all over whilst repeating "Not John, not dear, _dear_ John…" as Cornelia was stroking his hair, trying to ease his pain somehow. It seemed to Hester as if the world has stopped entirely, nobody could say a word nor move an inch, everything seemed almost artificial and unreal entirely.

Vance and Marion both squeezed Hester's shoulders from both sides as their cheeks started to become wet with tears of their own. Hester's own eyes filled with tears as the vision of a young, handsome, charismatic boy as well as a copy of his father's good looks, was slowly yet surely following the Piper from behind them.

Hester's own grip tightened on both of the babies in her arms and she looked over at Marion with a suddenly doubled fear in her eyes "Oh, my God! _Lily_!" she whispered breathlessly and she knew that the war hasn't ended just yet.


	37. Lily's Cecilia

**_Chapter XXXVII_**

30th June 1944

My dearest Marshall,

I am _so_ very grateful that you're alright, in good health, in one piece and still here with me _in this world_ we all share. Darling, please, for my sake and your family's, _always_ stay safe and _never_ do anything that you don't need to do or what can put you in any kind of danger. I wouldn't be able to bear it, and I don't think your family, and everyone else here for that matter, would either. Not after our dearest John has been killed not so long ago…

Auntie Nan has overcome the period of shock and now she's truly grieving her one and only son she had and now doesn't. She even wears a black veil over her face whenever she goes out into town. Marshall, I can't imagine her pain and the worst thing is that only two people really understand it and these are my Grandma Anne and Grandpa Gilbert, of course. They have long conversations with both Auntie and Uncle almost every day and it seems to start to heal them, at least Uncle Jerry is healing slightly although the right side of his hair has suddenly become quite silver. Grandpa John and Grandma Rosemary are also a great help to them both. Auntie Di came over two days after the telegram came and she is the other person who can actually calm her twin down and we are all very grateful for her as well. Auntie Nan is better than she was only a few days after the telegram's arrival but she will need much more time to heal, everyone can see that.

Jo has been crying all week long as you know yourself because I'm sure she has written to you already. However, she is already much better and it's all because of dear Fleur who gives her the purpose she needs in her life, now that what she feared most has happened. She's so strong, Marshall, and I'm _so_ proud of her for being so brave in this time of darkness that has surrounded us all.

Lily came back home to us yesterday afternoon and I can't even tell you properly in what state she's in. Marshall, you'd never recognise her _for the world_. I know that you don't know Lily half as much as I do but I do know that you symbolise Lily with brightness, optimism and that spark of hope following her wherever she'd go. Marshall, see I'm sobbing already, she's now the complete opposite of that. It's as if the bullet that pierced John's heart and took his life away from him, also pierced Lily's heart and her life _has_ been taken away from her too yet her body stayed.

I went over to the House on the Hill and Auntie Faith opened up the door for me, looking miserable for obvious reasons and she embraced me tightly as she whispered into my ear: "If God can't help her, Hester, dear, please let it be _you_ who can." and Marshall I've never felt more scared to help another human being than in that moment and _now_ as well. I came into the living room and Marion raised from her seat with her own cheeks all puffy, dear thing that she is, and she smiled at me hopefully. Lily was sitting on the sofa, looking outside the window and dressed all in black. I thought it wasn't her at first, Lily we know detests black and anything that symbolising negativity but it _was_ really her because her hair was still as red and shiny as always. She only looked up and saw me when I stood in front of her. She was so pale, Marshall, and thin that I myself felt beginning to cry. Without any words at all, she raised and embraced me artificially. "I'm dying, Hester." she whispered almost soundlessly into my ear. "I won't let you." I whispered back but never got an answer. She didn't even cry. She is simply lifeless.

I will most definitely do everything in my power to bring her back to us. I don't know if I will succeed, though… _Marshall_ … Yesterday, when I came back home I put myself into her shoes and thought of what I'd do if anything would… happen... to you and it makes me want to truly die myself. The reason for this is simple, my dearest Marshall, there's no one after you for me. How can there be when I love you like _this_ and you love me back like this too? If there's anyone after you for me then this is in another lifetime which I will never have.

God, how am I supposed to help her? What if she _doesn't_ want any help? Why can't the war just end and let the peace bring all those brave angel soldiers back to us? I'm sorry that this letter isn't as happy as all of my letters used to be. I know that I should write them like that so that you, whilst being at the front, would read them all and smile, but then you yourself asked me for the truth both in what is happening around me and in my head and so this is why this letter is so mopy and horrible.

Marshall, we got the letter from Selwyn after he heard about John. His letter was the shortest I've ever read from him, the most hurried, the most prosaic he had ever written. I don't think he has ever been so damaged and hurt. I am _terrified_ of seeing him in August. Yet, I am very much in need of putting him into an embrace and letting him cry his heart out on my shoulder like he has to although he doesn't have the energy to do that just yet. My dearest brother! Walt is just as downhearted as Selwyn is about their mutual friend and cousin's death however he is rejoicing in the fact that Selwyn is coming to Canada for once and for all in two months time and they can both share their grief over John's death.

Marshall, I feel ashamed of not knowing John more than I do. I wish I could have talked to him when I could, I wish I could have… Well, it's pointless, isn't it? You've told me in your previous letter to me, which truly _did_ help me to ease my own pain, that everything happens for a reason... Ridiculous, you shouldn't be supporting me now, _I_ should be supporting _you_ , a soldier at the front! But this is what I love about you, you always show your love to the people you love through everything you do.

It's almost time for me to go to my lesson with small Olivia and so I must go, unfortunately or maybe fortunately? This letter to you won't get any happier today, I'm afraid. Tomorrow will be better. You always say to me "Put your chin up high, kid" and so I will, my sweetheart.

Take care of yourself.

Your always loving fiancee,

Hester (known to you as "kid")

* * *

"Hester, _you_ need to speak to her, dear friend, please! Mummy is worrying her head off and dad already had an argument with Lily as he wanted to persuade her to tell him everything that lies inside her soul, but she won't listen or say anything! _Please_ , speak to her, I know she'll listen to you." Marion's wet cheeks were dripping off with her tears right down to Hester's hands which held hers. Hester's head was overfilled with emotions of all kinds.

It was the beginning of July and the perfect weather of summertime. Other than the weather nothing was quite so perfect in Hester's life or the world at that moment. It was the time when the radio was filled with the V-1 bombardment on England and its several thousands of losses, and Hester thought that her own life was being bombarded and attacked, damaged to pieces more and more each day. Gilly and Marshall were involved even more now in the "war business" as Marshall called it causing their letters to become less frequent and less detailed than before, at least from Marshall's and Gilly's side. Selwyn's coming back home was emerging from the surface, provoking Hester's heart to skip a beat in fear of the form and shape her brother's soul would meet hers, and now Lily was sinking in her own mourning over the man she loved with her whole being.

"How do you know that she'll speak to me, Marion?" Hester said helplessly "If she won't say a word to you or your parents or…"

"Hester," Marion said seriously all of a sudden, however still steadily "-I need you to bring my sister back home, she's not here yet. That person who sits all day in her room, looking outside the window and waiting for John Meredith to miraculously walk down the lane, is not _Lily_." a few tears started to roll down her cheeks again.

Hester's own lip trembled slightly "What if she won't speak to me either?" she asked her.

"I have a feeling she will." Marion said hopefully and smiled assuringly at her friend "She always used to be able to talk more about her feelings with you than anyone else. You're just that soul, _that_ soul to which everyone can always turn to in despair." she kissed Hester's cheeks and Hester smiled back at her through her misty eyes.

"Sometimes it's a wonderful gift," she said "-but other times, it can be a curse."

* * *

The red-haired young girl sat on her window-sill. She had her arms wrapped around her knees in protection of the world she lived in and she was dressed in a black dress, black shoes, with a black ribbon enveloping her pony tail. She seemed almost lifeless and out of space as she stared outside her window with a longing look full of misery and hatred for life itself.

"Lily," Hester said quietly as she closed the door behind her. It was strange for her to say that name to the stranger in front of her "-I've brought you the new skirt I've sewn for you last week." she smiled at her encouragingly although Lily's back was on her and she could only see Hester from the reflection in her window.

"It's blue." she said in a hoarse voice of a person who hasn't spoken in a very long time.

"Of course it is blue, your favourite colour." Hester came closer and smiled directly at the reflection of her freckled friend in the window "Won't you try it on, dear?"

Lily moved around slowly, her eyes vivid and filled with anger "It's not black." she said firmly "I won't wear it."

Hester's smile disappeared immediately. She sat down next to Lily, on the windowsill and looked at her with wistfulness. "Lily," she said quietly but decidedly enough "-we need you to come back to us, to your family and friends."

Lily regarded her then expressionlessly. "What for?" she said in a tone Hester never heard her speak before "I don't understand why you, _you_ Hester," she said that through clenched teeth and Hester got a bit frightened of her for a moment "-who has a fiance and a love of her life out there in the war, don't understand why I _don't_ want to come back." her hazel eyes were filled with tears then.

"Lily, I…" Hester started but Lily shook her head and continued.

"I _hate_ this name." she said angrily "My formal name is Cecilia and I intend to be called Cecilia from now on. _Not_ Lily." she looked back to the window and Hester felt how her own heart was slowly crumbling into pieces.

She reached out for her hand and with a moment hesitation, touched Lily's shoulder instead "Darling," she said kindly "-how do you want to live if you won't come out of this room, won't wear the clothes you like, won't speak to the people who love you, or won't work like you always wanted to?" she asked her.

Lily looked back at her "Because there's no future for me anymore." she said without a trace of fury now, only a pure heartbreak "There is no husband, no children, no home, no love." she said softly while her cheeks were wet already "Why would I want to live if all of this is gone from me forever?"

"You _have_ home _and_ love." Hester said to her fiercely, squeezing Lily's hand tightly in her own "You can still have a husband and children…"

" _No_ , I can't!" she outbursted suddenly, the tears doubling in their quantity and her hands clinging on to Hester's "John was the _only_ one for me, forever and ever! I had loved him for six years of my life, so fiercely, so passionately, so hopefully that I never thought he'd be so easily taken away from me!" she wiped away the first wave of her tears while she trembled all over "One small bullet…" she shook her head, her gaze far away "It takes not just one life… It is always a simple equation." she looked up into Hester's eyes "I have learnt this not just by John's… death… but also by my own experience as a nurse. One bullet equals the death of the soldier, grief to his family, grief to the nurses that have the chance sometimes to hold his hand as he passes from this world to another, grief to the ones who have known him and that's always more than just one person."

Hester's cheeks matched Lily's then, overfilled with tears as she remembered her cousin John, always smiling and being the back to Selwyn and Walt, his for-a-lifetime friends. She squeezed Lily's hands once more "Lily," she whispered to her "I won't say that I know how you must feel." Lily looked up at her then, with her eyes slightly different from the ones she had moments earlier "Nobody who hasn't experienced this heartbreak will ever know. However, this is _not_ the reason to stop living your life, especially at your age. You're just _twenty-one_ years old, darling." she smiled at her softly whilst putting a disobedient curl behind her friend's ear "You have a whole life ahead of you. You will work as a lawyer, you will go to the parties and dance and sing so beautifully like you always used to. You will travel and see different cities and countries. You'll meet new wonderful people, and maybe one of them will…" Hester stopped for a second then but then decidedly grinned at Lily again "-will be the man who will love you so passionately, in such a unique and sacred way that you will want to give this kind of life you've always dreamed of another chance."

Lily searched through Hester's face as if for answers she still hasn't set the questions to. Tears were still running down her face yet she looked calmer and clearer too. "I love him." she whispered softly "Present tense, _not_ past." she glanced down at the shining ring that she wore around her neck.

"I'm not saying that you should let go of him now or even in two years time." Hester said to her calmly "Just live for yourself and people who love you, Lily. Live for John because he's watching over you." she said with misty eyes and Lily then turned to look at her again, her cheeks still overflowed by tears yet her eyes somewhat shining.

"I know." she whispered out "I can feel his presence with me, _my_ darling John…" and she fell into Hester's opened arms, sobbing and gradually returning to her own colours of the mind and the body.

Hester sat like that with Lily for a while and it was as if she herself was slowly regaining her life, her hope in what was to come or not to come. But they both could feel one thing in common, despite both of their minds focused on different people and different emotions. They could both feel the presence of a young man in a uniform, shining through the clouds on the ocean-blue sky, and smiling down at them, seeing that the clouds of their misery would be lifted up one day, one sunny day.


	38. Those Joyful, Strange Days

**_Chapter XXXVIII_**

10th July 1944

Dearest angel of my heart,

I am living on a cloud since this early sunrise of today. Firstly, I'll start by saying how grateful I am for your letter which I got only yesterday. It was _so_ full of your constant and beautiful positivity that fills my heart as fully as water can fill up a cup. I am _ecstatic_ that you love this new photograph I have sent you of myself and Vance. I am impatiently awaiting your own new photograph that you have promised to enclose in your next letter to me, _how_ exciting!

Now, today was the day of Auntie Una's and Uncle Liam's new arrival from Heavens above. We were all so worried, you know yourself, that Auntie was overdue almost two weeks and in her age as well... I feared she'd never deliver her glorious baby yet she _did_ safely and without any complications (thank the Lord!) at the hour of the sunrise this morning.

It is a little playmate for our Poppy, a little girl of features so sweet and perfect I don't know how to describe them correctly! She has the sweetest features of Auntie Una, so soft and precious as well as her big blue eyes, just as steadfast as Auntie's eyes always have been. Yet, she does resemble her father in one specific feature which is her hair as it is not black like Auntie's but it is pure gold mesh instead.

You're probably asking, well then, I understand she's beautiful, healthy and all but for goodness' sakes _what is her name_? Well, it is a rather spectacular one but what else would one expect in our family? The baby's name is Vera Cecilia Evans. _Vera_ because it means faith and is the tribute not only to Auntie Faith but also to the life of her and Auntie Una's father, however it is also the tribute to the remarkable Vera Brittain, a nurse of the first war. Remember when I told you about her? She is quite an extraordinary woman who has suffered _so_ much yet still had the courage to continue with her life regardless its mess. _Cecilia_ is, of course, after the late Cecilia Meredith who will be always in our hearts even if she wouldn't have as many namesakes as she does. I'm sure that today she is smiling down from a cloud on her little granddaughter who apparently _does_ have a look about her, according to Grandpa John, of Cecilia Meredith.

Oh, _Marshall_! How I always yearn for a day like this one! It is the one not only to remember but to feel, as well as appreciate. That is the only thing I actually thank the war for, it makes us all count the days of our happiness, those small joys of everyday life which we never really notice on everyday basis otherwise. My heart is full today and I don't intend on thinking the thoughts I usually do think of each day, especially just before I go to sleep. You know exactly, better than anyone else who knows me I think, what those thoughts in my head are, but today I will _not_ think them, for my own good.

I wish I could take your hand and give it a squeeze as a reassurance that everything is actually fine in this world. I know you worry that it isn't sometimes but darling believe me _it is fine_ , it is alright. Believe it or not, even Lily herself wore white today and smiled through tears of joy as she held that tiny new addition to our family of a name Vera.

This war will end and you'll come home, Gilly will, all of our boys will too and we will all be changed slightly, one way or the other, there's no way preventing it. However, sweetheart, we will learn how to live again, we will be free and our hearts will beat if for nothing else then for one another at least. Dearest Marshall… I can't help but dream of our future together. I know I shouldn't and I always reprimand myself whenever I start but I _can't_ help myself as it looks so beautiful that my eyes always fill up with happy tears.

How can you even think that the scar across your cheek would ever make me feel repulsed by you, dearest? How can you write such things to me, and even think them? That was that one thing that bothered me in your last letter. Darling, that scar is something you will always wear and you should wear it as a reminder of your bravery but not a repulsion or regret, _not ever_. You are doing your duty and I could not be more proud of you, or any of you, my boys out there at the front. Once you come back home to me I will kiss that diagonal scar on your neck and then I will kiss it again and I will tell you what I am writing to you now: " _I love you_." because I do.

Answering your question: no, Ada won't be coming to Four Winds this summer, unfortunately. She is preparing for her last year at Redmond and she's terribly busy not just with revision but also her worry about her brother David at the sea. She knows he's fine and _he is_ but she is his older sister and it's no surprise that she's worried, especially because she has no other sibling in her house in whom she could rejoice a bit. However, we do write frequently to each other, like we always used to and I will miss her terribly through the summer. I swear, she'll be a famous mathematician one day, she's so ambitious and clever it's almost impossible for me to imagine her future life otherwise!

Darling, I must go: I have a lesson with dear Georgie today who is the sweetest boy out there (with an exception of _you_ , my dearest) in an hour's time and I still have to put my hair in order!

Dearest heart of mine, keep safe as always and smile because whenever you think of me, I promise you that I think of you too, as I always have you at the back of my mind with music in the background.

Give my brother a big hug from all of us and keep safe, _both_ of you.

Forever and ever Your,

Hester

* * *

"I just left him there! Oh, I'd never do such a thing, ever! Why did I do it now…? Oh, but he, _he_ enlisted without giving me any hint of doing so and I just… I just…" Marion wept in Lily's arms.

"-didn't know what to do?" Hester finished for her with a soft smile on her face, her right hand brushing Marion's brown curls gently.

It was a lovely afternoon with the sun slowly setting down behind the girls in the Rainbow Valley. This sun was, as usual, the audience of a new drama. Hester met up there with Lily, Vance and Daria to knit together for baby Vera as a present for Una and Liam whilst Jo was occupied with Fleur who was a bit poorly on that day. Marion was supposed to meet her sweetheart, Harry, in town and she did meet him there, however, not in his usual clothing but the brand new khaki uniform and a piece of paper stating that in only three days time he is to be sent for training and before the year was out he is to go to the front.

It was a very surprising scene to witness for Hester, Lily, Vance and Daria: the angry and weeping Marion running straight for her emotional rescue to where she thought she wouldn't see anyone yet embarked on her friends instead. She was now the centre of their attention and the centre of their attempts to comfort her, and that in itself was a hard task to achieve. "I didn't know and so I became a coward and after shouting at him, I just... _ran_." Marion said with a trembling voice and wet cheeks as she pulled away from her sister to look at each of her friends hopelessly "But _how_ couldn't he tell me?" she put her hands on her face and groaned half furiously and half painfully.

Hester glanced at Lily, Vance and Daria and they all looked at each other in almost a despair. "I'm sure you know why, Marion…" Vance started.

"No, I _don't_." Marion replied whilst looking up again and wiping away her tears with the half finished dress for little Vera. Upon realising what she used as a handkerchief her eyes filled up with tears all over again "Oh, I'm such a mess! I'm so very sorry…" she put the knitting on the side very carefully as if it was made from expensive porcelain and Hester along with the others couldn't help but chuckle quietly.

"It's completely alright, darling." Lily said to her calmly and squeezed her hand "And it's alright for you to be angry at Harry, he should have told you. But you shouldn't be cross with him for long, he _is_ leaving after all." her eyes overcame a shadow in a blink of an eye which Hester was immediately aware of and she and Lily shared a knowing yet almost invisible glance.

"I agree." Daria added in her usual energetic tone "Just accept that fact, however hard it is to do so and make the best of those three days." she smiled at Marion who smiled back at her whilst wiping away her tears again but with her scarf instead.

"I suppose I should… Yes…" she replied a bit calmer now and she arose from the blanket. She turned around just to hear a shouting from behind.

"Marion! _Marion_!" Harry ran up the hill, still in his uniform but with his dark hair disassembled completely and his eyes sparkling in an almost dangerous way as he reached for Marion who was looking at him as if he was an unearthly creature of a beauty never possessed by any other being but him. Hester's lips were turning into a smile and as she was watching the scene, her hands became held by Daria and Lily.

"How did you know I was here?" Marion asked breathlessly even though it wasn't her who has done the running.

Harry without any permission or reply, smiled at her joyfully and kissed her passionately instead. The girls around gasped in awe silently. Hester's eyes filled up whilst she put her hand on her chest as she knew where it was all coming to from purely looking into Harry's deep blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, Marion, my dearest girl." he whispered out eventually whilst putting his hands on her flushed cheeks "I just _had_ to do it but simply couldn't find the right words to tell you this beforehand."

"It's done now, Harry." Marion whispered back, her cheeks not only flushed but also wet now "I just want to spend those three days to the fullest with you." she smiled at him and his own eyes filled with fresh tears as he kissed her lips softly before putting his hand into the pocket of his jacket and knelt down in front of her.

Marion's face was priceless as it went from pure red to eternal white. Her mouth opened slightly and her hands trembled as her lips were giving in to the brightest smile Hester or her friends had ever seen on her face. Hester and the girls watched intently whilst still giving each other heart-warming and filled with tears gazes. The moment was so perfect they all forgot about the war or that Harry was to go into its chaos himself soon, they felt nothing but happiness then.

"Marion, I've been carrying this ring of my great-grandma's for almost three months now." Harry said to her, his voice sure yet incredibly soft whilst his lips were grinning and dancing "I wasn't sure when I should ask if you'd like to have it but I suppose that now is better than ever," he took her shaking hand in his as she wept joyfully through a huge smile upon her face "-and so: Anne Rosemary Blythe, the only woman who is the possessor of my heart: will you marry me before I go?"

"Marion trembled all over then," Hester wrote to her friend Phillip two nights after "-but this didn't stop her from decidedly yet cheerfully replying: " _Of course, I will_!".

Phillip, I cried so much that if Mum or Dad would have seen me in that moment they would have thought someone has died. But it wasn't just me, quite frankly it was also Vance, Lily, Daria, Marion _and_ Harry himself! Nonetheless, it couldn't be helped, the moment was so perfectly wonderful that nothing else could have highlighted it better than tears of joy.

Marion and Harry gained the blessing of our entire family, of course, as well as his own, which consists of only his parents and grandparents all living in Bright River. The day after and so yesterday morning, Harry arranged the marriage certificate all ready to be signed whilst Marion was running up and down, trying to figure out what she'd wear for the ceremony. Finally, Auntie Faith gathered her own old wedding dress and spent an entire evening with all of her sisters and sisters-in-law, including my Mum and Mary Vance, I mean Mrs Douglas, of course. They also prepared the veil which was the old beautiful wedding veil of Grandma Cecilia, the very mirror of personality of her own granddaughter, Marion.

Meanwhile, we girls spent the whole day together, talking about Marion's wedding and calming the bride's nerves. It was truly a beautiful day as we spent the whole afternoon at the beach, ending up splashing each other in the ocean, with little Fleur being held by her mother close enough to the waves so her chubby little legs would taste the saltiness of the ocean.

Today in the morning, though, Anne Rosemary Blythe became Mrs Harry Newton in a simple yet incredibly gorgeous and romantic ceremony performed by Grandpa John who too was all in tears at the end, when Harry kissed Marion, his wife.

We had a dinner after, in the garden of the old Ingleside and we got to know Harry's family a bit who are wonderfully kind and generous, let me tell you that much. Harry only had his eyes and lips for his wife whilst Marion only had her own eyes and lips for her husband the whole of today. Thank and praise the Lord that in the two pairs of their eyes were only joy and love and no fear just yet.

They are in their hotel room in town for tonight, awaiting the sunrise of tomorrow when Harry will be going off for his training and soon to the front like you did too, Phillip. Goodness, that was more than a year ago already! Well, time doesn't fly as quickly as I'd hope apparently.

I must tell you that today filled me with mixed feelings. I was so happy, _so_ perfectly happy to see my dearest cousin and a friend marry the love of her life, even in that quick and simple ceremony. I was so, _so_ joyful to see her smile ever so widely and her eyes being filled with this much love and gratitude. However, I felt a huge heartache at the same time. My own fiance is at the front now with all the danger out there surrounding him. I can lose him any day and any second! I am _not_ foolish enough to believe that nothing can happen to him, and Marshall knows that too even though he does try to protect me from thinking that anything can even slightly touch him.

Today, I thought to myself: I wish I married him before he went back to the front. I wish we kissed earlier than a week before he boarded this horrid train. And then I said to myself: _everything_ happens for a reason. I suppose that's true but I wonder at this sometimes. I wondered at this a lot today, especially when I saw through the joy of Lily's eyes the true pain and a horrifying sense of loss once more.

The one thing of those wishes of mine which is certain is that I wish you were here today to witness it all, Phillip. But then I'm glad to simply sit here and put it all on paper for you as well. I am so _immensely_ proud of you, my dearest friend. Always remember that, whenever you're feeling a bit low.

I must go to bed now because if I won't go, I'll probably fall asleep on this desk in our living room instead.

Keep safe, dear.

Write as often as you can.

Your friend for always,

Hester


	39. Ocean Of Feelings

**_Chapter XXXIX_**

4th August 1944

Dear Diary,

Two days ago my dear and so very missed brother came back home so this can take a while for me write everything down even though it's been only two days since his arrival.

Selwyn didn't want the whole clan to pick him up from the train station, of course, and so only our parents, Poppy, Daria and myself came. Daria and I planned it all well enough for us to look the best we could so we spent the whole evening before ironing our best dresses which we have sewed last year. I wore a dress in Selwyn's favourite colour, the dark navy-blue which he always thought was the most "outspoken colour which not only is a beauty in itself but also is a beauty on your fair skin, dear sister". I also wore my hair in a short ponytail with a ribbon matching my dress (it was a very hot day!). Daria chose her favourite dark-green dress which is a mirror, in terms of the pattern, of mine (it has a heart-shaped neckline with a leaf pattern on it) and I pinned a violet in her short hair. She looked like a dream.

Mum was losing her mind an hour before we were to pick Selwyn off the station because only then she realised that she really was going to see her youngest son in such a short amount of time. Poppy did _not_ know what was going on and entertained us all with giggling at everything and everyone as we were dressing her in her darling white dress.

I couldn't believe it either that we were all going to have Selwyn back once more and for once and for all. I was terrified of the state he would be in with this war still in his mind, but I couldn't help to smile through my tears just at the thought of having him back home. I was rejoicing in the fact that I could, and everyone in our family at that, finally make this war inside of his head come to an end, peacefully.

Selwyn came through the steam coming from the train, with a suitcase in his hand and in his normal clothes which he surely was happy to wear instead of his uniform. He looks… different. I have tears in my eyes even now, thinking about that moment when I first saw him.

His auburn hair turned darker although it's not entirely brown just yet, it has this rusty feel to it. A few silver strands are behind his left ear, the one from which he can never hear again. He lost weight, not a lot but he certainly did and his skin lost its glow. His beautiful hazel eyes aren't as shining as they used to, with a curiosity of the world. Especially his right eye, which will never see again and is overcome by an eternal, misty cloud. However, despite all of this, there _is_ still Selwyn in him, some pieces and fragments of his soul from the time before the war are somehow translucent in his being.

When he saw us all, he stopped as if frozen. He then smiled widely with tears already running down his cheeks as he dropped his suitcase in time to catch our running Mum into his open arms. Daria and I cried with smiles on our faces and to the not such a big surprise so was Dad, whilst holding Poppy in his own arms.

Then it was all almost a blur. I can only remember being full of every emotion possible: happiness, fear, sadness, melancholy, gratefulness, anger… Everything that I have been trying to hide all those years of the war and still keep on trying to hide them with only people I trust most in this world knowing how I really feel.

Selwyn was kissed countlessly by both Mum and Dad first before being introduced to his youngest sister Poppy. She giggled at him and reached out for the collar of his shirt which made him laugh as well, still through tears which he couldn't help. It was like the most beautiful music, Vivaldi's for example, filling the air, to hear even for that split of a second, Selwyn's laughter.

I jumped on his neck and kissed his entire face including his right eye and left ear especially. He smiled down at me then and kissed my own forehead whispering "Hester, _my_ dearest sister." and that was all he said, all he had to say.

I smiled up at him and squeezed his hands hard " _My_ dearest brother." I whispered back and could _not_ manage to say more and I didn't even try. I could see on his face that I didn't have to.

Eventually, he met Daria who also kissed his cheeks tenderly and he said to her: "You look as if you were born into the Fords!" and we all chuckled merrily with Daria beginning to blush like she always does and she kiss his cheek once more.

We went home then and we stayed there for our small gathering, with no guests just yet, talking about all the news from our family and listening to my records. Selwyn was smiling all evening and we could see, even Daria who has never seen him before, that there was something of a spark lacking in all of those grins and chuckles even though they were honest and true.

Mum could _not_ leave his side and neither could I so we were sitting at both his left and right side on the couch respectively, holding onto his arms as if he could disappear at any moment. Poppy was delighted by her older brother as she especially enjoyed playing with the pockets of his shirt and was seated on his lap the whole evening.

Before we went off to sleep, Dad took Selwyn on the side and they took a half an hour long walk along the lane. When they came back everyone, including me, were in our beds and after I heard Dad coming into his and Mum's bedroom, I sneaked out of my own room and came into Selwyn's quietly just as he was sitting at his old desk, his eyes suddenly red from apparent sobbing beforehand yet with something of a shadow of a twinkle in his eyes.

He smiled at me as I walked in and arose from his chair. "I can't believe I'm back." he whispered, looking around his old room.

I came over to him and embraced him tightly, feeling how his arms were enveloping me too "I can." I whispered back and we stayed like this for a while.

"When I left, you were only sixteen." he said to me, suddenly looking down at my face "Now you're _twenty_ and quite a woman. I am so _very_ happy to see you again, Hester." his voice cracked a little then and we both started off silently crying again, whilst chuckling at our mutual reaction.

"I am _very_ happy to see you too, Selwyn." I said to him.

"I wish I heard your composition back in May." he replied softly "It must have been spectacular."

"You _will_ hear it." I said to him but before I knew it we were both sitting on his bed, me cradling his head to my chest as he cried and so was I. It was both the most dreadful and the most wonderful moment between us both and I don't have words to describe it.

Yesterday, we had a family dinner at Ingleside to welcome Selwyn back. Walt was the first one to greet him with tears in his eyes as they both embraced one another for a long time and then wondered off to the Rainbow Valley together, with a certain John Meredith in both of their minds, I'm sure.

Everyone was, of course, delighted to have him back. All Grandmas and Grandpas were trying to talk to him all at once (even Grandma and Grandpa Ford came for that special day yesterday!) and they all wanted to feed him which I thought must have been the mirroring of the times from when Susan Baker was still around.

I could see in Grandma Anne's eyes though that she especially viewed Selwyn's arrival as a way of seeing the ghost of her son Walter through him as if he too came back in his person: that hope of poetry being the link between those two family members who have never met. It was so touching, that special look she had in her eyes whilst asking him about his preference of cake, that I could hardly focus on anything else.

Vance saw him yesterday and she could hide her feelings well. _I_ could see them but nobody else could and I thought about how strong she is for doing such a brave, as it really is, gesture. Selwyn was incredibly joyful to see her and he put her into a tight embrace, saying something into her ear that made her smile.

In that moment I could see it. I could see how they _belong_ to each other, always have ever since that day when Selwyn rescued Vance from nearly drowning during Christmas back in 1936. _It_ was always there between them; it is called fate and it's inevitable for them. If I doubted it even slightly beforehand, yesterday was the proof that indeed that is the truth.

On that note I shall be going up to my room, it's already half past ten in the evening and I have to check that ten pages long homework I have asked my student Betty to bring for our last lesson. She did bring it and I promised to mark it for the next one which is exactly in twelve hours time.

I shall get on then.

Yours,

Hester

* * *

"Did he really draw it from memory?" Daria asked softly, still slightly in awe.

It was a calm evening at the shore, near the old Lighthouse. Hester and Daria decided to go for a walk without even taking their shoes with them and simply enjoy the warm waves of the ocean whilst the sky above them was painting its way through life like Monet's painting. Walt took Selwyn on their stroll down the Rainbow Valley whilst Vance, Marion and Cornelia decided to cook all evening together at the Rosefield House, and so the Douglas' mansion. Therefore, there was no reason for the two Ford sisters to decide upon a stroll with just the two of them on that perfect evening at the end of August.

"He did." Hester said with her hazel eyes overcome by a thin wall of fresh tears yet her lips smiling as she held onto Daria's hand and their dresses moved softly in the rhythm of the wind "And he wrote underneath that this is how he always pictures me whenever I write to him on my happier days."

Daria smiled down at Hester "Dancing between the trees in Rainbow Valley…" she murmured dreamily.

"He told me to always stay that way." Hester's lip trembled slightly and Daria immediately put her arm round Hester's shoulders and kissed her forehead tenderly.

"What is it, kochanie?" she asked her gently.

Hester looked up into her eyes and sighed deeply "His last letter to me was very gloomy, and you know yourself, Daria, that his letters never are." she tightened her lips for a second "He said that he's scared of death. He _doesn't_ feel that it will come… to him, no, but he started to think about it recently because one of his co-pilots died, and he was his friend." she took a deep breath then, feeling a bit tight in her chest.

Daria smiled wistfully at her "Thank the Lord that Marshall and Gilbert have each other." she said to her, her own lip shaking slightly at the sound of her husband's name.

"Yes, thank God for that." Hester agreed a bit more merrily with a grin "Marshall said that he now understands what Gilly means by constantly saying that all he ever wants to do is not to fight but to come back to the Island to his "most wonderful wife"." she winked at her sister-in-law who blushed a little and smiled widely, instinctively touching the gold ring on her left hand.

"Gilbert always exaggerates but I love him all the more for that!" she laughed sweetly "So does Marshall prefer to go back to Canada then?" she asked Hester curiously.

"No, not exactly." Hester replied calmly now "He still has a heart of a soldier and he always will, I think. Even though he still wrote that "all I want to do in this moment is to be with you, kid, down in the Rainbow Valley and kiss your pretty hair and even prettier lips."." Hester blushed upon remembering the moment she read that line in his letter and Daria chuckled softly.

"I can imagine him saying that." Daria agreed.

"Yes," Hester added with a smile "-but then he also wrote "but instead I will fight for you, my dearest honey-kid and I will pretend that this is enough for me at the moment"." Hester grinned at Daria who returned the expression of their knowing exchange of silent thoughts.

"I love how he still calls you a "kid" yet you don't mind that anymore." she grinned lightly as she looked in the direction of the ocean, her eyes somehow far away.

Hester chuckled "I suppose that it…" she started but then saw Daria's gaze overshadowed by fear which Hester knew the reason of. She touched her arm gently and caused Daria to look back at her with again a wistful smile on her face "Are you still thinking about the Uprising?"

"There's not an hour when I don't think about it." she whispered almost through tears in her eyes "Hester, it's my homeland, the city I was born and raised in, where I have my childhood memories as well as the last ones of which my family was still well and alive." she said passionately and waved her hands "I love Canada and its people, my family is from here," she smiled tenderly at her sister-in-law and touched her ring again "-but I also still love Poland and its people, _my_ people. And my Warszawa is being completely destroyed..." she smiled through her tears painfully and Hester embraced her swiftly.

"I'm so sorry, Daria." she managed to whisper into her ear.

"I wish I was there to help those young boys and girls who fight arm-in-arm ever so bravely." a few of her tears soaked into Hester's dress' sleeve.

"I'm glad you're here, Daria, out of danger." Hester whispered back "Darling, everything happens for a reason and I encourage you to remember that it is more you than me who always says that. So please, don't wish things to be different and simply hope for the best."

"And pray." Daria murmured and pulled away to smile at her sister of the heart.

" _And_ pray." Hester repeated with her own eyes misty "Always that if nothing else." she said and then both of the girls laughed aloud suddenly, merrily. They were looking into each other's eyes for a while, those silent thoughts passing through the air between them like a warm summer breeze. They needed those thoughts to disappear into this air, out of their minds.

"Who's the first one to get entirely soaked?" Daria squeaked suddenly as she started to run into the waves, laughing even louder and more cheerfully. She had freed her mind and was now inviting Hester to follow her in doing so.

Hester laughed as well and started running too, to those waves of a short-lived freedom of pain and fullness of hope and joy.


	40. To Be Free

**_Chapter XL_**

A day after the Canadian troops captured Dieppe and on the same day when the Allied troops were about to enter Belgium, Hester arranged for herself, Selwyn and Poppy to have some time spent just in their own company at the old House of Dreams.

Ken was at his office whilst Rilla decided with Nan and Faith to go together for a day to Charlottetown to have some "girls' time" as they called it. Daria was also at her own office that day and before the already arranged meeting of Hester's group in the Rainbow Valley, Hester still had the whole of three hours to spend with her two siblings on that nice and warm morning of early September.

"I can't believe that our small Susan is in love." Selwyn said whilst he was hopping Poppy up and down on his knee as she was giggling in joy "And with her brother Will's best friend's brother at that!" he smiled softly at Hester who came back from the kitchen with a tray overfilled with cookies and three cups full of lemonade.

"I've seen both Susan and Flynn together on several occasions, on their apparent 'friendly' terms, of course." she said cheerfully as she sat down and took Poppy in her arms as her little sister outstretched her little arms asking for a cookie of her own "I think they're very suited for each other, even though they are quite young to be in love to be honest, with Susan being only fifteen and Jeremiah seventeen."

Selwyn took a sip from his cup and then grinned at his sister as he put his knees together comfortably on the sofa "Well, Walt was fifteen as well when he started following every step of Cornelia's feet." he said and made Hester chuckle "Now they're happily married, seven years after it has all started." he said with a soft look in his eyes that was almost resembling the one he always had before the year of 1939.

Hester gazed up at him with a sudden warmth spreading over her chest. She has noticed that ever since her brother came back home, day after day, conversation after conversation, dinner after dinner, his eyes were beginning to gradually out cloud of their gloominess and secrets of the war. This was exactly why Vance was in a dilemma over whether she should maybe in a few more weeks tell him of her own feelings for him, if she was brave enough that is. Hester advised her to wait still, it would be like a punch in the stomach for him if he didn't share her feeling even though Hester herself was suspecting that he might be considering Vance of a bit more than just his best friend whom she already was anyway. Time had to be respected, though, both Hester and Vance were aware of _that_ at least.

"That's true." Hester agreed whilst keeping an eye on Poppy and whether she wasn't swallowing her cookie too fast "Cornelia is very anxious to start her life with Walt after his two years of Redmond."

"I know, Vance told me." Selwyn said with another sip of lemonade, his gaze not quite meeting Hester's, making her heart skip a beat in a sudden wave of excitement and fear that encapsulated her "But Cornelia will be occupied enough with her nursing at the Bright River Hospital during that time and after Walt's graduation as well, I'm sure." he said, smiling up at Hester who grinned back at him.

Poppy finished her cookie whilst happily grabbing the cup of lemonade in her chubby hands "Not so fast you little beast!" Hester laughed merrily whilst helping her little sister to hold her cup as she was hungrily drinking from it.

Selwyn observed them both with something of a twinkle in his eyes, or rather his one eye, and saw something that Marshall Douglas saw as well all of those four months earlier "You were born to be a mother, dearest sister." he said softly to Hester who looked up at him with an almost distracted look in her hazel eyes.

"We'll see about that." she said just as softly, quietly and put the cup of Poppy's back on the tray, letting her sister stand on her own on the floor and wobble off to once Hester's own, old dollhouse in the corner of the room.

Selwyn's grin disappeared and he sat up nearer to Hester, not saying a word but simply looking into her eyes. He took her hand in his gently then "He'll come back, Hester." he whispered as if it was a secret only he knew.

She looked up into his eyes, the same shade as her own, frowning slightly "You don't know that, Selwyn. No one does." she whispered back.

"I _do_ know." he smiled lightly at her "Goodness knows but Seb was a horrid mistake of a man for treating you like he did," he squeezed her hand then as Hester's eyes filled with soft, warm tears "-and Phillip, I know he is one of your dearest friends, but God help him, he was a fool to ever stop chasing after you." Selwyn smiled at his sister with his own eyes filled with pride and a temporary state of joy.

Hester smiled back at him, wiping away her tears "That's exactly what Marshall says." she replied with a widening grin as she touched the soft piece of paper she had in the pocket of her dress "But he always adds on that with the mistakes both of them did he achieved "something he never thought was possible to achieve by his heart"." when both Selwyn and Hester grinned at each other then, Hester chuckled sweetly "Somehow I managed to turn him from a very prosy man into one who tries to speak the language of love."

That made Selwyn laugh as well as he put his arm around Hester's shoulder and kissed her cheek gently "He's a lucky man." he said to her kindly "He knows it well enough himself, I can see that. This is why he will come back to you."

Hester's smile disappeared suddenly as she looked up into her brother's eyes again " _How_ do you know that?" she asked him almost in disbelief over her own brother thinking in that way about soldiers at the war.

Selwyn smiled softly at her, putting his mouth closer to her ear in that funny way Hester knew well from their childhood years "It's a secret I have kept in my soul for a long time and it alone concerns your ear to hear it."

Hester's jaw almost dropped as she heard her brother speak the way he used to all those years ago. She smiled at him happily and kissed his nose "Well then, I will keep it hidden well inside my heart." she whispered back and they both grinned at each other before Poppy started to stumble on Selwyn's feet.

He took her on his lap and kissed her red locks "Hester," he said suddenly and Hester turned her head curiously into the direction of his voice "-I was to ask you that ever since I came back but somehow didn't know when or how…"

"Yes?" she said, interestingly.

"I remember you telling me how you and Marshall fell in love with each other," he said with a soft grin on his pale face "-and I know that on the day when you both saw each other again when he came back to Canada in April, you were playing this one piano piece…"

"Do you want me to play it for you?" she asked him eagerly.

" _Yes_ , please." he smiled at her and then put Poppy's head against his chest as she was clearly at the loss of her toddler-energy.

Hester smiled readily and jumped from her seat effortlessly. She made her way to the piano of her own standing against the wall with a true grace of a musician unafraid of the story music can tell. Selwyn smiled at that picture already. "It was Beethoven's Sonata No. 1 in F-minor Op. 2 No., Prestissimo. My _favourite_ piece for the piano." she said dreamily, opening the case and preparing her fingers to do their magic as Selwyn observed her with fascination "Marshall came in when I was still playing it, my favourite part at that." she chuckled quietly, looking at the keys wonderingly "He came from my left, from behind as if he was my shadow. I saw him from the corner of my eye and stopped playing but the music was somehow still in my mind and my ears…" and off she started playing Beethoven with a certain man and a hope in Selwyn's secret about him, in her own heart.

* * *

As the Germans were surrendering at Bologne, Hester was again walking alongside the shore towards the old Lighthouse. This time, though, she walked enveloped in her ancient grey jumper and the longest dress she possessed in her wardrobe. Next to her walked Lily, her eyes closed to the wind and her mind clearly somewhere else. On Hester's right, though, were Marion and Vance, focused on their pathways ahead and both with the same frowns on their foreheads both caused by the contagious feeling of love.

"How was your work today, Lily?" Hester asked the redheaded girl with a little pat on the arm.

Lily, as if awoken from a deep dream of her own looked at Hester and after a second she smiled at her and the two girls walking beside her "It was very busy, being the local law advisor is quite a challenge after all." she replied but a certain voice of the old Lily could be clearly heard through it which made Hester's heart jump a little.

"We're so proud of you, dear." Marion said to her sister with tears in her eyes already and a smile on her lips too "And I know that you're only saying that it's busy but you enjoy it _because_ of that."

Lily, Hester and Vance looked at Marion then as her voice was plainly trying to say something else yet exactly that at the same time. Lily put her hand past the girls and stopped them all from walking. She came in front of Marion and took her hands in her own "Yes, I agree with you, Marion." she said seriously " _Now_ , will you tell us why is it that your heart can hardly beat?"

Marion was slightly taken aback by this and she looked at all the girls, or rather young women, standing in front of her with her eyes simply filling more and more fully with fresh tears. Hester instinctively put her arms around her shaking shoulders and kissed her cheek, patiently waiting for her to speak up. "Harry left for the front today." Marion whispered finally, giving in for the salty liquid running down her flushed cheeks.

It was as if the weather itself was controlled by Marion's heart. The sky was entirely white and full of clouds, the moisture could be felt in the air and it was only God's will when it would start to pour down on the Earth beneath Him. Despite that, though, the girls didn't care about the weather at all and instead crowded around Marion, trying to find an arm, a palm or a finger to touch and comfort.

"Why didn't you tell us at once?" Lily asked her almost in disbelief.

"I just thought that once I'll say it out loud, it will become a reality." Marion answered wiping away the tears from her cheeks, trying her best to catch a breath.

"Darling, but you can't think about the dangers that can meet him there all the time." Hester said to her tenderly "If I'd be thinking about Marshall being so close to danger all the time I wouldn't be able to _live_ at all. I do think about him constantly, like you I'm sure, but not about the dangers around him. " she smiled knowingly at Marion who managed to smile back through her red eyes.

"We're here for you, dear." Vance said to Marion, squeezing her hand whilst grinning positively at her.

Marion glanced back and forth at all of her bosom friends standing beside her and she smiled finally, even though a few more tears dropped down on her cheeks "What would I do without you, my girls?" she said to them and they all smiled back at her and at each other "Of course, you're all right but it's never been easy for me _not_ to worry even when I know myself I shouldn't, or at least not as much as I do."

"We know." Lily said with a soft grin at her younger sister "But Marion that's why you have to talk to us about the things that worry you."

She looked up at them again and smiled now a bit bashfully, her cheeks reddening slightly "I…" she started "-it might seem _very_ silly but… I do worry about Harry, extremely indeed but there's also something else that I've been worried about and now I know it is something that won't happen." her eyes were somehow shadowed again.

"What is it, dear?" Hester asked her caringly.

Marion looked up at her and her cheeks were still reddening. She sighed heavily "After our marriage and before Harry had gone to the training camp only two days after it," she started "-I… thought _and_ prayed as well… that I would become pregnant and at least have a part of him always with me even if he'll… if he… won't come back." she finished in a whisper and tightened her lips as if forbidding herself to sob again.

That was something Hester didn't think Marion would say or think about. That was the moment when Hester had nothing but to realise that one of her dearest friends is most definitely now on the other side of growing up, the side which Hester was still an alien to. She couldn't help but to also have a few tears of her own in her eyes yet she smiled at Marion gently "Oh, Marion…" she said.

"I'm _not_ pregnant, though." Marion added swiftly, smiling bravely through her tears.

"Sweet _little_ sister of mine," Lily caught Marion's hands in hers "-please don't fall into this trap of regrets, sorrows, worries, negatives and false hope. I've gone through it all way too many times. Please, listen to my advice and live by it: carpe diem, because you don't know how much your life can change within just an hour's time."

By this time all four girls were smiling at each other with tears either in their eyes or already running down their cheeks. It was this moment when they all felt that life was simple even though it never quite was or is or ever could be. However, that one moment _was_ simple and beautiful because of that.

Marion didn't have to reply, she simply nodded and smiled even more widely seconds before the skies opened up as the countless clouds above started to pour down their souls onto the world beneath them, including Hester and her friends. They all started to laugh, and their hands linked together as if to represent forever between their own souls. Hester had another epiphany then, even though they were all twenty years old or above, they could always still feel like children, if they only let themselves to be free enough.


	41. The Meaning Of Love

**_Chapter XLI_**

26th November 1944

My dearest Marshall,

Today is one of those few days when I feel indisputably happy (although if you were here with me and I could kiss you, I know that this feeling would double in no time at all). It is because my brother Selwyn is finally _happy_ himself: he's now in his room and he's writing poems… _He's writing_ , Marshall! I will tell you how it's actually possible.

Today was my day off and Selwyn and I decided to spend it together by walking to Rainbow Valley and simply walk until our stomachs would start rumbling. We talked about ordinary things, nothing serious, until I saw his fingers twitch in a way I have seen him doing ever since he came back home. Something possessed me then, I think, but thank the Lord that it did! I stopped him, right underneath the White Lady and _demanded_ (and you know I never do such a thing!) from him to tell me _everything_ that he has been through at the front.

He stared at me blankly then, as if he was trying to figure out whether he was dreaming or not. All of a sudden then, he took my shoulders in his hands and smiled painfully at me as his eyes started to fill up with tears. Without a word, he embraced me tightly and he cried in my arms, as I did too whilst brushing his dark red hair, the same colour as Mum and Poppy's.

In that moment I was not only crying for Selwyn but also for you, my dearest Marshall, for Gilly, for poor, darling John (God bless his soul), for Will… For every boy I know fighting out there, on the unknown side of the world to me. I thought about all of you then, your own good friend Adam too. Just like you, Marshall, I will never forget Adam because if it wasn't for him and his sacrifice I would not be writing this letter to you tonight.

Selwyn then told me everything. He spoke in such a way that even though it hurt my soul terribly, it also made me fill up with joy after seeing my sensitive brother finally being sensitive again, being _himself_ again. I'm not going to write to you in details what he has said to me because I think that you know well enough yourself, better than me even, what he told me. Marshall, we had a very similar conversation, remember that one afternoon when you told me everything back in April...? Was it only in April? It seems that I have known your soul much longer than I do…

After Selwyn told me the troubles of his spirit, cried out all the tears of regret, fear, anger and pain: we embraced again, without shaking this time. We stayed like this for probably longer than we both felt and we both had closed eyes. I can't remember at all what I was thinking of then, only that during this long embrace I was smiling joyfully.

We talked again, I was reassuring him that he's not a horrible person like he believes himself to be, or that he will go to Hell like he always felt he would ever since he enlisted. I recited to him one of Shakespeare's sonnets ( I can't even remember which one now! It's all so blurry yet clear to me at the same time…) to prove to him that love and beauty really still exist. It took me a very long while to persuade him in believing those things again but eventually I think I have succeeded, more than less that's for sure.

Then, something very extraordinary happened. Selwyn became silent, yet a shy old grin of his appeared on his lips as he looked up into my eyes. "I do know that love still exists." he said to me softly "This may be very out of the blue for you, however, I have known this for a very long time, too long I think." he then gave me the deciding gaze which even though he could only reinforce with his one eye I could still perceive it as the same gaze from the time when he could still see on both eyes "I love Vance." he revealed finally and I was stunned even though it was very much not "out of the blue" for me.

I don't even know when but I could feel tears starting to run down my cheeks like little rivers again. However, don't you worry Marshall, I was _laughing_ at the same time! I started kissing Selwyn's cheeks and his forehead and he started to laugh through his own tears as well. We were quite a mess I must tell you. Then we calmed ourselves down and Selwyn turned serious again which made my heart stop beating for a few seconds.

He told me that he's afraid of telling her that and put her hopes up because he's a "crippled man" because of his lost sight in one eye and a hearing in one ear. I must confess to you Marshall that in that moment I didn't feel wistful anymore but only angry at him for even thinking those thoughts so I told him just that as well as that Vance has been in love with him for far too long to ever let her heart change the way it's beating, and I know that her heart is beating for Selwyn only.

"Are you sure?" he asked me and I could see his own certainty in his precious eyes and I nodded decidedly, how could I not be sure?

"Go and kiss her then, you fool." I said to him and I swear, Marshall, that I felt as if I was ten feet tall whilst saying this. Selwyn jumped with his flushed cheeks and started to run in the direction of the Rosefield House, although I know well that it was mostly his own heart telling him to do that rather than my words.

Now, I know that both you and I were waiting for Vance to be happy again, truly happy and Marshall, I can now assure you that your little sister is happy, after all those years of waiting and wondering about her feelings for Selwyn and his possible feelings for her, she is satisfied at last.

I watched Selwyn run in the direction of the Douglas' mansion, as you always call it, and something magical happened. I could hear a faint music building up in my head, a phenomenon I haven't had in years, almost ever since I finished composing "Hope and Our Rainbow Valley". I was so shocked that I couldn't move for a good few minutes. I simply listened and looked at the dance of the leaves on our lovely White Lady. My darling, I thought of you all the way and if I will ever compose this new magical sound that is stuck in my head still I will dedicate it to _you_ because it is the sound of love.

Vance will write to you about what happened afterwards so I won't be spoiling it for you but she told me of what happened when Selwyn came into her room today. Selwyn was flushed, breathless and speechless. Therefore, without further ado, he kissed her on the lips and it shocked her to the very core. She said that "a wave of warmth and joy I never knew existed sprang through my veins" when right after that kiss Selwyn whispered into her ear that he loves her and that it's only her who has his heart in her palm.

They spent the whole afternoon talking then, in _your_ very own garden and with the November wind in between the words they spoke. Of course, Selwyn and Vance came back to the House of Dreams to tell me that Selwyn did what he said he'd do and that now they can now truly and with no regrets hold each other's hands and they were indeed doing just that.

I hope that you are smiling just as widely as I am and as I was all day long. Your baby sister is a happy woman, even though she'd be happier if you were here too and so would I but some things can't be as perfect as we want them to be. I miss _you_ , sweetheart. Every day, every night, every second in between. Parting is _not_ a sweet sorrow, I don't agree with Shakespeare on that at all, it is quite a horrible kind of sorrow, for me at least, and as far as I know for you as well. I can feel that war will end soon, though, I never had this strong feeling before and I sincerely hope that my intuition is right because there are times, like right in this moment, when I _can't bear_ the thought of you being so far away from me.

When I could see Vance so happy, Selwyn so happy, the two of them holding each other's hands I thought… God, please make my Marshall come back home so that I can hold his hand like that once more. But I am proud of you, dearest, immensely. I always will be. I want you to know that.

I shall be going off to bed. Please stay safe and happy, like you sister is now, for always.

I love you to the a degree unknown to mankind and I forever will.

Goodnight or good day (whichever best suits the time you're reading this letter), and everything in between to you, my heart.

Always Yours,

Hester

* * *

30th November 1944

Dearest friend,

The heavy rains over here in Italy are quite a trouble, I must tell you. Not only the trenches are even more horrible to "live" in (as if they weren't terrible already) but you can quite easily imagine, I think, that to fight in the wall of rain does not make it either safe or "great" at all. But this too shall pass, I suppose, or at least I hope it will because it is quite frankly a pain in the ass.

I wish your cousin Will's friends, Jeremy and Flynn the best of luck. Another two young boys to join this mess which day by day I think is more and more pointless and barbaric in every possible way. At least I can be sure that they got a very best farewell from their families that they could, folks of Glen St Mary are just this kind.

Hester, while I still remember, please could you thank darling Lily for sending me this precious handkerchief? It's so intricate that I still can't quite believe _she_ made it herself (I do still remember her days of not being able to hold a needle properly!). I keep it in the pocket of my uniform, in the same pocket where I have a photograph of you, Hester.

Once upon a time, you asked me about true love and whether the "one" exists, at least if it does in my own opinion. I'm pretty sure you remember I wrote you that I don't really believe in this kind of thing, nor did I ever believe in fate, contrasting with your own thoughts on this topic. However, since some time… well… to be quite frank with you: since you and Marshall became so suddenly engaged, I did start to think about love more often than I initially wanted to.

I am _completely_ lost whenever I think about. I don't know whether it's just that I'm involved in this mess of war or is it just that I know that you and I are never going to be romantically connected, ever. And, Hester, before you start worrying that you are a reason behind my unhappiness, please stop because it's completely wrong. I _am_ glad that you are engaged to Marshall, of course, I am. You're very happy with him, anyone who knows you well enough can see (even through your writing) how much you love him and that he loves you this much in return. However, it is exactly because of that, because now _I know_ and I am a witness of how a true love actually looks like that I start questioning myself what am I doing with my life? What will I do if I will survive those damned trenches?

I have absolutely _no idea_.

Don't start saying, Phillip, you'll find a girl. How do you know, Hester? _I_ don't know that at all. I don't even know if I want to find myself a girl. I mean, I do, but I don't think any girl would like to have me as her man. You know yourself how I am; impatient, stubborn, ridiculous at times as well as too passionate. Sure, I will have a stable job once I'll finish off ( _if_ I finish off, of course, because let's be realistic - I _am_ in the trenches right now) my Law degree but other than that I am a mess of a soul, you know yourself, dear friend that I am and I think that without you I would probably be in much more trouble with myself than I already am.

I hope that I will live up to my deepest dreams of having a girl, well, a woman by my side whom I can adore and who adores me. That's all I dream of, you know. Lots of boys down here have sweethearts, fiancees, wives, crushes… We talk about things like that all the time because it gives us hope. Them, I mean, it gives _them_ hope. For me, it's almost a torture listening and even joining into conversations like these. But what can I do? I can't _not_ listen. I can't _not_ feel. Sometimes, I wish I couldn't do both.

God dammit, they are turning off the lights in a minute. I shall have to go then even though I don't want to stop my letter to you as I wanted to move on to something more cheerful. But, apparently, I'm in no luck of that today.

I wish you a very sunny (in all meanings of this word) day indeed, my friend.

I'll write to you soon.

Always yours,

Phillip (because today it is just Phillip)


	42. Violets Of Despair And Hope

**_Chapter XLII_**

A black haired young woman ran. She ran in her hurriedly put on winter coat along with a hat and a scarf in her waving hands. Her face was an overflow of tears of despair which she has never felt before as strongly as she had on that day. It was snowing but not heavily. Small snowflakes were falling down on the ground through the face of the soft and still melancholy world as she ran towards the ancient Lighthouse which she always loved and where she knew she could gather her thoughts, no Rainbow Valley for her this time.

Funnily enough, it was Christmas.

Ingleside was filled with her whole family, well, at least its members who were in Canada at that moment, the rest were somewhere so far away that she thought her heart couldn't reach out for them this far for one more day any longer. Christmas, by tradition, should have been held at Green Gables. However, Anne and Gilbert requested to have it held at their residence again so Jack, Di and their daughter Ada came to Four Winds this time again, with a certain shining diamond on Ada's finger. She announced her engagement to her sweetheart Ben a day before Christmas and it is true that everyone truly rejoiced in this tremendously. Coincidentally, whilst Ada was announcing her happy news, Selwyn and Vance were taking a stroll down the snowy Rainbow Valley and when they came back, all flushed with their eyes shining so brightly that Hester didn't even expect them to say the reason behind it all, she knew it long before they opened their mouths to say it.

Selwyn asked Vance for her hand underneath the leafless Tree Lovers with a soft breeze of a winter promise blowing into their faces so surely and readily that Vance didn't even have to utter a word to let Selwyn know of her answer, the one she held dear in her heart for longer than she could remember. Selwyn bought that pearl ring just a week earlier, after working tirelessly at the office with Daria, to save money for it especially. Vance wore it proudly on her finger and no one could blame her for her eternally happy face.

So there were to be two weddings expected for the following year, or at least somewhere in the nearest future anyway for the war was still there, in the air and the hearts of Hester and her family. Selwyn was to go to Redmond College in January, to achieve one of his long-rooted dreams of having a degree in English Language and Literature. Vance was more than happy to wait for him to finish his degree, of course before their marriage. Ada, on the other hand, was now waiting for her own graduation from Redmond College in July so that she could tie the knot with Ben, and settle down with him as a teacher in Kingsport.

Those two engagements weren't the only reasons for Hester's sudden despair in the very heart of Christmas. They were merely the triggerings to the emotions that were slowly swelling up inside of her heart since her lips were kissed by Marshall's for the very first time. Hester was unbelievably happy for her brother and her two friends, however, the possibility they possessed and the one that she didn't, gave her heart a certain shock that stopped it from beating for what seemed to Hester was an eternity.

She couldn't sleep at all that night. She was looking outside her window, out on the lonely dark road as if awaiting a certain figure of a young man to appear on its horizon. She then changed her position to her desk, a pen in her hand and a piece of paper in front of her, waiting to be filled with words which simply wouldn't come. Hester couldn't write to Marshall, she couldn't put anything that was in her head on the paper. She even didn't quite want to do that either for fear that her dark thoughts would come true somehow, or that Marshall would know how deep her worry and despair really was - she would rather chop her hand off rather than let him know that.

Then Hester tried composing but for the first time in years, the first time in forever really, her head was empty of music and it terrified her soul completely. It was as if she became deaf, without any sign or warning for it. As her cheeks were becoming moister and moister, as well as the paper lying right next to her hand, she thought of how Selwyn felt when he realised he couldn't hear in one of his ears. She now knew what it was to have lost a part of one's soul. It was more than heartbreaking though, it was something she couldn't quite understand.

Without her noticing, she fell asleep with her head on her pillow and woke up at around eleven o'clock in the morning. On her nightstand was a note written by the hand of her father saying that they didn't want to wake her from her peaceful sleep and so they went to Ingleside for early preparations and were waiting for her to join them when she wakes up.

Before doing exactly so, Hester decided to open up the letter Marshall sent her a day before but which she couldn't bring herself to open at all. It was underneath her pillow. She lied down on her bed and held up her hands to read it in the early daylight. It wasn't a long letter and she never minded that, but it was the one that was meant for her heart and soul to read and understand only. She traced the handwriting with her thumb, the handwriting she could have recognised by only touching the paper, as she felt her eyes swelling up with fresh tears all over again.

"You've always reminded me of violets, my honey-kid." he wrote to her in the last paragraph "I'm no poet as you know, so I won't tell you why exactly: it's simply because I'm not eloquent enough to explain to you why you do, you just _do_. However, this only proves that your very existence, as quiet and timid as it can get sometimes, has touched the very part of my soul I never thought could be touched. You've made me want to know _why_. I just _know_ , even though I can't say it in words. I will paint this feeling for you one day just as you'll compose it one day. Now I know, what poetry feels like."

Hester looked at the ceiling, a piece of paper still in her hands and tears still falling down her cheeks. She reached for the envelope slowly and out of it fell something extremely light and soft. She frowned slightly and turned her head on her pillow to see what it was. On her bedsheet were tiny violets, slightly withered but not enough for them to get damaged as soon as Hester's hands touched them. She sat up, holding the letter in her right hand whilst she held the violets in her left hand and she suddenly remembered a poem by Roland Leighton and that one day when Selwyn recited it to her dully two days after he came back to Canada, a poem that in that moment caused her blood to run cold:

"Violets from Plug Street Wood,

Sweet, I send you oversea.

(It is strange they should be blue,

Blue, when his soaked blood was red,

For they grew around his head:

It is strange they should be blue.)

Think what they have meant to me -

Life and hope and Love and You

(and you did not see them grow

Where his mangled body lay

Hiding horrors from the day;

Sweetest, it was better so.)

Violets from oversea,

To your dear, far, forgetting land

These I send in memory

Knowing you will understand."

Was it a chill of fate coming down her spine? Was it? _Was it_ , God? She jumped out her bed, her nightgown still on and nervously but without any doubt at all, she put on her tights, shoes, jumper, coat, scarf, hat and gloves and whilst leaving everything else behind, she ran out of the House of Dreams, in the direction of the old Lighthouse where she hoped she could find her land of peace.

She reached the Lighthouse completely out of breath with her mind full of thoughts she wished she could burn or drown in the ocean in front of her. Hester never regarded the thought and possibility of her fiance getting killed too seriously. There was always a piece of her heart that was rejecting this idea entirely. However, on that day she realised that her very own Marshall can share the fate of so many before him, just like Lily's John did not so very long time ago.

John died unexpectedly, with him being always cautious and happy despite the war around him. Lily never thought that he could be injured, so the idea of him getting killed was completely out of the question. Hester knew about this fact which was now penetrating her soul completely. She was terrified of this frightening possibility that her own man she desired to spend her life with could join John in the afterlife, whether she prayed for him or not, whether she hoped he wouldn't or not. It _could_ happen. She always held this possibility in her heart, whenever she was thinking of her brothers, her cousins, her friend Phillip but never about the man who so suddenly stole her entire heart and kept it to himself with her permission. Perhaps, that was the reason why she never thought that anything like _that_ could ever happen to him.

The ocean's breeze was brushing her hair as she closed her eyes and allowed the tears on her cheeks to dry even though she felt them freezing instead. She never felt so helpless as she did in that moment. "Hester!

"Hester! _Hester_! What are you doing _here_?!" Her hazel eyes opened and she turned her head only to spot Lily running in her direction, her ruddy locks dancing in the air. She was elegantly dressed, her hair was still tied by a ribbon even though its wildness could not be missed because of the sharp wind.

"Lily!" Hester whispered out thinking that it was as loud as a scream.

Lily cradled Hester into her arms instinctively it seemed and kissed her cheek, still embracing her tightly "I know it's hard, darling. It's hard for me too, without my own heart being here." her voice trembled slightly " _But_ it's Christmas." she looked into Hester's eyes with a soft, breaking smile of hers, her own eyes filled with tears "And we still have souls left at least. We need to show them to the world whether we like it or not." Hester didn't feel another wave of tears rolling down her cheeks as she smiled through them back at Lily, not questioning at all how she knew where she was and why for that matter. She didn't have to question, it was something in the air that answered it silently.

Lily came back to the House of Dreams with Hester and helped her to dress up properly for the Christmas dinner. They didn't talk much, they only listened to Hester's portable radio and her Vivaldi's records, humming along. They didn't think much either but sometimes and in their case then it was better so. They then marched together to Ingleside where the whole family was gathered already by the table and the fire with the smell of dinner and home in the air so strong that it made Hester shiver with a sudden lump of joy in the centre of her throat.

As soon as both of those young women came inside, the room filled with chatter and people they love. Everyone exclaimed with merriness upon seeing them, Rilla grasping Hester's hand and kissing it almost immediately. Then Poppy cried out happily and outstretched her chubby arms to her sister who took her quickly into her arms and kissed her red locks as she sat down in between Daria and Selwyn, both of her siblings smiling at her with the love she knew was priceless.

Hester's mind wasn't quite back to its normal state yet, though, and Hester knew that until the end of the war it will never be the same again. However, she _was_ surprised when a telephone started to ring suddenly. For her family, it was almost like a siren during Blitz for the Londoners, just as terrifying as well as bringing the same question into their minds: _what_ will happen now? Everyone in the room went silent, only the portable radio was still playing "Winter Wonderland" and the sounds of Poppy, Fleur and little Vera were still heard in the air. No one quite knew what to do or say.

Without a trace of doubt on her face, Hester stood up from her seat and marched over to the telephone, picking it up with a steady, ice-cold fingers. "Ingleside." she said into the receiver gravely.

" _Hester_? Hester is this you, my dearest?" a familiar voice appeared inside of Hester's ear which all of a sudden turned from pale-white to a completely red to its very tips as her eyes filled with warm tears and her mouth filled with laughter.

" _Marshall_!" she exclaimed happily, in disbelief. Everyone in the room cheered and started to clap their hands together. Vance and Cornelia ran up to the armchair next to Hester and sat down together, their hands and legs interlaced in their usual sibling-way. Mary Vance and her husband Miller stepped out of the kitchen hurriedly with Rilla and Una next to them, all ready and yet unready at the same time to hear a voice from beyond the ocean.

"I actually got in! I _called_ you!" Marshall shouted out merrily into Hester's ear "Gil and I have been trying to do so for hours and we've spent all our money on it too." there was a sudden rush inside of the receiver "Gil, come here you idiot! It's your sister on the 'phone!" then there was a distant joyful exclaim heard "Merry Christmas to you, Hes! And to all of you folks at Ingleside as well!" Gil shouted out jolly and everyone, including Hester, started to shout back the same.

"Merry Christmas!"

"A _miracle_!"

"I hope you're both well and warm!"

"You _dear_ boys!"

Hester, through the chatter and increasing excitement, turned to the receiver and whispered breathlessly "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, kid." Marshall whispered back "There's not a day when I don't have you in my mind and heart, honey."

Hester smiled through tears rolling down her cheeks "I loved those violets you sent me." she whispered gently.

"I'm glad, take a good care of them." he replied softly "I intend to paint you wearing them in your hair one day."

There was a pausing noise inside the receiver "Marshall?" Hester asked worriedly.

"I'm here still." he answered assuringly "I love you." he whispered again.

"I love you too." she whispered out before Gil, standing apparently next to the receiver on the other side of the ocean, started to sing out loud in a clear, pretendedly deep voice the lyrics of "Deck the Halls" and everyone upon hearing this, including Marshall and Hester, started to first laugh and then join in.

Just like that, the world didn't seem so lonely and hopeless after all.


	43. Valentine's Day, 1945

_**Chapter XLIII**_

3rd January 1945

Dearest Phillip,

I am more than tremendously happy that you're alright and that your melancholy state of mind is slowly going behind its curtain. You boys need all the light and merriness in the world and not a single bit of melancholy at all.

I wish you, dear friend, in this new year of 1945 only two things: one is for you to come back home safely and the second one is for you to be happy, always. I hope that those things will really happen to all of you, you dearest men, whom I love with all of my heart, each and single one of you.

It was a horrible beginning of the year with the news from overseas that the RAF has suffered serious losses in the air raid I can't even remember where anymore, it was either France or Belgium, where both Gil and Marshall were at the time. We all worried about them and cousin Tom too, of course, for the entire day which accidentally was the very last day of 1944. It was only on the evening of the very first day of 1945 when the telegram came and it said that all three of them were completely fine and back at their stations. Phillip, I _can't_ express how grateful I was and still am for their safety.

I must tell you that after that sudden and unexpected loss of John I was never quite able to think about the war and all of you at the front in the same way ever again. It's as if his death caused me to experience an epiphany that truly anything can happen, both good and heartbreaking. Therefore, whenever I get a letter or a small note from any of you I literally sigh with relief and then dance with this one small envelope in my hands for the next good hour, pressing it to my heart and thanking God for this yet another blessing. Not to mention, it's a joy for both of my sisters Daria and Poppy because it gives us another opportunity to dance all together in the living room and make Selwyn laugh.

Selwyn… We said our farewells to him today as he boarded the train to go to Redmond College. It was a very different Selwyn we were saying our goodbyes to than the one we were saying our hellos to just a few months earlier. Yes, I do think that it was entirely Vance's doing, or at least, it was her part mostly which can be accounted for this miracle.

Ever since Selwyn got the courage to tell her he loves her, they were inseparable and for the first time in my life, I didn't mind sharing Selwyn with someone else. You know, Phillip, that I love my brothers equally but I have always shared a very special, quieter bond with Selwyn. It was him whom I worried about more when he was still at the front, it was him with whom I would sit at school breaks when we were still living in Toronto and neither of us had any friends there, and it was always him with whom I'd be reading poetry _every_ evening, both in Toronto and Four Winds. But I don't mind sharing him with Vance, goodness, I encourage it if anything. He smiles now, in this old way he used to, he stopped worrying about his deaf ear or his blind eye, he started reading Keats again… He hasn't started writing poetry fully just yet but I know, and Vance does too, that this will come in time too.

Vance turned into a different person as well. She's more energetic and more ready for life than she ever was, this dear girl. She finished her novel, the one that she started writing somewhere around a year ago to get her mind occupied. She hasn't shown it to me yet and she says she will once she will edit it with the help of the best editor she could have ever hoped for, her very own fiance Selwyn. I _cannot_ wait to read it and I am positive it's a masterpiece even though Vance isn't this sure about it herself.

She shall be waiting for Selwyn's return and it will be after his graduation when they will marry. Phillip, can you believe that Vance will be officially my sister? My _third_ sister! I still remember the times when I had no sister at all! How crazy is this, you tell me?

It's so strange for me to think that my own children might be around fifteen years old when Poppy will have a wedding of her own one day. I'm not saying she will definitely marry, you know me, Phillip, and you know that I am completely open to the possibility that she won't marry at all but if she will then my own children would be _older_ than she's now, at her wedding… See, my imagination is way too vast. It's both a gift and a curse at the same time, especially at this time of the world. But I can't help it. I am thinking about things like that, about my future life which I always imagine in the best light possible even though I know that I really shouldn't... should I? But, Phillip, I imagine your future life too and darling friend of my heart, it is always positive and I'm not able to imagine it in any other way, so please, dear, don't think about it in any different way yourself.

It's been such a long time since the last we saw each other, hasn't it? Yet, I'm sure that once I'll see you again, it will be as if we saw each other a week earlier. That was exactly how I felt like when I saw Selwyn back in August. Sure, he looked different and was different in general but I felt like I was kissing his cheeks goodbye only a month earlier.

I don't know about you, Phillip, but I feel like this war is coming to an end. Maybe it's just the "New Year" head of mine speaking, however, I do think this might be it. I've prayed for it every night for the last six years so I think it's time anyway, don't you agree?

Marshall recently wrote to me that he agrees with me on that. I didn't even have to ask him because somehow I can "feel" what he feels through the letters he sends me. I can't do it with everyone, you know. I'm pretty sure I can read your letters like that too… I think! Gilly's letters are the ones which I can't understand a word of, not properly anyway, only Daria can do it… His letters simply jump from one thing to another, almost from a sentence to a sentence! I love reading them because of that but their messiness makes me unable to process his thoughts as completely as Daria can: she reads them and it's almost as if her and Gilly's minds click and she knows exactly what each of his sentences mean. I can "feel" and understand Marshall's letters like that, though, and I'm glad because of that as otherwise what kind of a fiancee would I be if I couldn't?

Recently Marshall has been very jolly in his letters and every time I read his letters I must tell you that I have tears of merriness in my eyes. Nowadays, I cling onto anything that's in the slightest way happy. I suppose each of us has to do it in order to stay sane, don't you think, Phillip?

I'm very hopeful recently also, hopeful about the end of this horrid war, I mean. I am especially that when I'm playing with Poppy, Fleur and Vera on the blankets spread over Ingleside's ancient wooden floor near the fireplace. There's something magical about those three angels, each with a different coloured hair yet each just as beautiful inside and out. We're all so positive that they'll be now and always called the new generation of the "Three Musketeers" to somehow fill in the void John left in his trio of Walt and Selwyn… No one can _ever_ replace him, but it is a nice view to look upon... Three little baby girls, a blonde tiny head of Vera, red locked Poppy and a dark brown, fluffy hair of Fleur; all combined together in their small is exactly why I am attaching a photograph of them three in this letter to you.

I'll be going now, dearest. I have to prepare a lesson for a sweet six-year-old Daisy whom I will be teaching today in just three hours time. I left it all for the last minute, and for the first time ever too, I'm not really sure why. It's almost as if the air around has changed, I just can't tell why and how.

Take good care of yourself, dear.

Always waiting for you,

Hester

* * *

It was three days after Fleur's second birthday and on the same day when Peru declared war on Germany and Japan when Hester was sitting on the windowsill of her bedroom and looked out the window at the peacefully falling snow. The glass of the window hurt her bare fingers with its coldness but Hester didn't mind that at all. She was enjoying the calmness of the House of Dreams and her day off work too. She was awaiting the postman to bring her the new letters to which she could finally respond to as soon as she would get them into her hands.

She could hear Poppy playing with little Vera downstairs as Rilla and Una talked together with hot drinks in their hands, in the heart of the kitchen. Their distant voices made the air in Hester's room thicken with a sudden tranquillity which she still couldn't quite understand because it didn't fill her with it. She was like a still tree in the middle of the snowstorm, unmoved by it in any way. She has felt like this for a few weeks now as if awaiting the snowstorm to come either in reality or just metaphorically. To be quite frank she wanted neither but she knew that God already fixed a plan for her so she couldn't do anything to change it anyway.

There was silence in Hester's bedroom but not in her head. She could hear faint and slow sounds of the piano playing by her own fingers, in her own imagination, a melody which she was planning on putting down on paper that day. It was a song that had come to her two months earlier and she thought it through so deeply that she was finally brave enough to write it down with ink, paper and the use of her own hands. She could do it now if she only wanted to. However, something in the bottom of her stomach was stopping her from doing so and she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. She hoped that feeling would come away quickly for it made her heart beat faster with each minute passing on the clock that hung on the wall behind her, ticking its old song of all the past, present and the future.

Suddenly the postman came and Hester jumped up from her seat at the window. She put a scarf around her neck in haste and flew out of her room with Daria flying out of Gilly's. "I'll be there first!" Daria winked at her younger sister and Hester laughed whilst starting for the stairs.

"You wish!" she chuckled and Daria, squeaking with joy, ran downstairs after Hester. It was as if the two of them turned into small ten-year-old girls even though they were in fact twice older than that. Rilla and Una smiled at the two young women passing through the hall hurriedly, laughing so merrily that they laughed themselves.

"I won!" Hester chuckled breathlessly and so did Daria.

"Next time I will." she said and Hester patted her sister on the arm, looking around in the dream of a poem of winter spread all around them "Go on, open it." she encouraged her and Hester immediately opened the mailbox, still seeing the mailman walking away on the horizon.

"Ah, _Gilly_!" Daria exclaimed as she snatched the letter hungrily, her eyes twinkling as she started opening it.

Hester smile vanished, however. In her hands was a telegram addressed to her, in an orange envelope. She could feel her pupils enlarging and her hands starting to tremble as she began ripping off the envelope slowly, the music in her head slowly turning into silence.

Suddenly, Daria heard a loud gasp as if Hester was being strangled. " _God_ , help me." she managed to breathe out. Daria dropped Gilly's letter and caught her sister swiftly enough as she fainted right in front of her. Daria felt her own body shaking, tears slowly falling down her own cheeks as she snatched the telegram from Hester's hand, whilst patting her cheeks quickly "Hester! _Hester_!" she cried out helplessly.

Daria stopped abruptly as soon as she read the first and only line of the telegram informing Hester of her fiance being reported missing in action.

* * *

14th February 1945

Diary,

It's Valentine's Day. Dresden is being bombarded, Prague is being bombarded and so I am led into a belief that my very life at the moment is being bombarded.

I thought I could write in here on the day of the telegram but it took me two days of complete isolation in my bedroom and two sleepless yet overfilled with tears nights to get me out and about again, even though my life isn't the life it was just three days ago.

 _It's Valentine's Day_.

I already wrote Marshall a letter from my heart to his because of this occasion. I'm sure he didn't get it, he couldn't have, he didn't have time to.

Where is my love? _Where is he_? What is happening to him? Is he alright? Does he now that I think about him all the time and pray for him stronger than ever before? Does he know that I still have this tiny ridiculous amount of hope that he's fine?

I don't care that everyone tries to comfort me because it won't work, it just won't work. In time I will get used to days and nights again but I feel as if I've been in a horrible car accident and had each of the bones in my body broken. Now, I am trying to recover from those injuries and I'm trying to re-learn how to use my limbs and body again. I know I will manage to re-learn it all again but it will take time and it will leave scars which won't go away, ever, I am sure of that.

Vance and Lily are the only people with whom I can truly talk about this at the moment. Vance is equally depressed and frightened as I am and Lily has been to a hell of a depression and back so she knows exactly what to say to me. "It's not certain that he won't be found," she told me today "-you still have this uncertainty and I didn't. _Don't_ ever forget that, dearest." and I was almost ashamed for being so depressed whilst sitting next to this woman, whose heart has never been the same since last June.

However, at the same time as I was sitting next to Lily, I felt like I was looking into the mirror of my future if Marshall… won't be found. I can't even imagine this possibility because it would ruin my entire future, every joy and dream within it. My heart will into pieces and my life will collapse if this will happen. I'm not saying it will though because _I have hope_ … I do!

I can't write here anymore, the tears won't let me.

 _Please_ , my dearest Marshall… I can't write to you directly but I can talk to you in my mind still, even if this might cause someone to think that I'm going mad. I can hear your voice and I can see your eyes smiling back into mine. You're with me. I am with you. Always, darling. Please, come back to me because in whatever form you'd come back to me, be it physically or emotionally, I'll always take you for there's no one else on this planet, never has and never will be who can hold my heart the way you can. The one who can write a sonnet about me like you can… Remember _that_ sonnet? Do you remember, darling?

 _God_ , I can't! Enough! I need to go outside and breathe in some fresh air, I feel like I'm suffocating withing myself.

I shall write in here tomorrow, or at least I hope that my teary eyes will let me.

Desperately in need of even more hope,

Hester


	44. A Victorious Embrace Of Hope

**_Chapter XLIV_**

9th March 1945

Dearest sister with a name 'Hester',

I'm _extremely sorry_ that I haven't been writing much to you this past month and that I've been sending you only a few lines just to let you know that I'm fine. However, now I have around forty more minutes to spare after writing three long letters to Daria, Mum and Dad and Selwyn as well. I've saved yours for last because I needed to really think about what to write to you to make you feel better.

It was a blow in the face, Hester, finding out that Marshall has been reported "missing in action". For God's sake, I _don't_ even get it! He truly has been the most careful out of all of us, saying that it is the promise he has made to you and that he intends on keeping it… However much his being missing has affected me, I don't think I can quite imagine and understand the blow it has done to _you_ , my dearest sister. I don't have a wide enough imagination for that and I thank God for not having one every day of my life.

It makes me jump with joy every time I remind myself that you have Daria with you at this time of your life. She went through the same thing when I went "wounded and missing" _but_ she was on her own then. This alone should make you feel a bit happier that you're not in this fear alone, Hes. I know you wrote to me that you still have hope that he'll be found but yet you still aren't sure about it at the same time and, darling, that's completely normal and you shouldn't feel ashamed for having moments of grief and despair in your dear soul. I feel completely the same when I think of Marshall and what on Earth could be going on with him.

However, Hester, as the role of an older brother tells me to say, you need to count _this_ possibility in. You need to acknowledge that Marshall might never be found. I myself have tears in my eyes whilst writing this and you know that I never cry, or hardly ever. But you need to know this as much as everyone else for it happens sometimes. They might find Marshall already dead or fatally injured and then send you a telegram Lily got when our poor John was killed. However, you might never get any kind of telegram ever again. And Hester, if this will be the case I need you to promise me that you'll keep on going, that you'll keep on _living_.

There's something you don't know, you see. Marshall told me a few months back that if he would be either missing in action or he'd get killed, he requests me to write to you then that he wants you to carry on with your life. I agree with him entirely, with that typically right, tall rascal that he is. Hes, you need to open your soul and your heart again because from what I can read in your letters is that you don't want to live, you just want to keep on being alive. But that "just" is as good as being dead! I don't want to lose a sister along with my very best friend. I'm _not_ saying he won't ever be found, Hes. Remember, I will be the last one to lose hope for that.

But we need to keep our realities in check at all times, especially at the time of war. So please, dearest, don't spend your days sitting on the windowsill and awaiting a telegram, a note or a letter from Marshall because this way you are just as "missing in action" as he is. _And you're not_. Marshall would never, ever, want you to become a wreck because of him. So please, for his sake if no one else's, smile. _Smile_ , Hes! _Right now_! Think of me falling over a chair a day before my leave for training. We laughed so hard we cried, do you remember? Smile, sister of mine, smile, laugh and let happiness touch your life again for it's _everywhere_. It's even here, although it's harder to find it here, but I still manage to do that.

Come on, dry your tears for I know they're on your smooth cheeks now and make yourself a favour by turning on your portable radio and listen to some good old Andrews Sisters for they will never get old, I can promise you that. In one hundred years there will still be people (not lots, I think, but still some) who will adore listening to their voices and merry songs just as much as you and I do. Come on, Hes, come outside! Spring is in the air, I've heard from Daria who constantly sends me newly blooming flowers. Go and join her, Hes, and send me and Phillip some of them too. We both need those to smile at when times are dark.

I would gladly get my leg amputated for the ten minutes to be spent with you again, it's been _so_ long ( _too_ long!). But, Hes, in my mind, I am holding your small hand in my own and I'm winking at you to let you know that all is good: _life is good_ even though at times it can be a real pain in the ass.

Forty minutes have passed and I need to run now for 'duty calls'. Hester, war is coming to an end, I can feel it in the air so don't you dare lose hope now. Please: live, live, _live_! I will give you a good reason to live: I love you more than any words can say and that's why I'm fighting at the front, I am fighting for you too if you've ever doubted that (I hope you haven't).

Have a fabulous day.

Forever your loving brother,

Gil

* * *

Hester threw herself into work of all kinds, everything to avoid thinking of the void inside her heart. She allowed part of her free time for teaching five more students, all at different levels. Therefore she stopped having three days off each week and instead she allowed herself to have only one, a Sunday when she would spend it at Ingleside with her family and friends.

It couldn't be hidden that her family worried about her but Hester didn't want to talk about her internal misery with anyone ever since the hours she spent in doing so with her parents, Daria, Lily, and her auntie Faith too, therefore all the people who could, by bringing their own experience onto the stage of her despair, help her in some way. However, now Hester refused to speak about it. She even refused writing in her diary in as much detail as she used to. She would only ever whisper her doubts, worries and sadness into her little sister's oblivious ears whilst playing with her.

Hester seemed the same to her family and friends while in their company, yet at a distance and full of an emotion nobody could quite identify because she simply wouldn't let them, she was painfully brave and even Rilla herself said to her husband one night: "She is leaving a scar on her soul each time she answers "I'm fine" to our questions.".

It was Hester's and Lily's routine now to go together to the beach next to the Lighthouse every other day. They sat together on the rocks and watched the waves crash onto the sand sometimes so violently it created a fascinating sight and sometimes so softly it was a joy to watch and analyse. Lily and Hester have grown even closer now than ever before by the end of April. They both knew the feeling of loss even though from different perspectives but somehow this connection has woven their souls together for eternity.

"I still can't believe that Hitler and his new wife killed themselves. _Today_." Lily whispered to Hester as their heads were touching and their eyes observed the waves in front of them.

"I can." Hester replied softly "Because maybe the war will be over sooner because of it." and then she shook her head, sighing "I'm sorry, I mean I don't know if I should say that someone committing a suicide gives me hope or in any way makes me feel a bit of joy."

Lily smiled gently at her cousin and squeezed her hand as the wind was brushing both of their red and black curls "I think God will forgive you in this case." she said "If he won't then he'll have billions of people around the world to punish for thinking like you do today."

Hester smiled lightly back at Lily and then put her head on her friend's shoulder again "I suppose you're right." she answered "I just have this feeling ever since we've heard about it in the morning that the war really _will_ come to an end now." her voice was overfilled with wonder, a phenomenon that Lily hasn't heard in Hester's voice ever since February.

"I think it will end soon." Lily agreed in her tender voice which she has developed ever since her fiance's heart was pierced with a bullet "After six years." she said and it seemed to Hester like the time has stopped.

"After six years." she repeated quietly after a few moments which seemed like a lifetime.

* * *

It was an early morning when Hester awoke to the sound of Daria banging on her door as if on the edge of frustration. "Wake up! Hester! Vance! Come downstairs, _quickly_!" she called out and two young women popped their sleepy heads out from behind the bedsheets.

Vance and Hester had a sleepover the day before in celebration of an absolutely lovely spring day at the beach and so the two of them looked at each other with confusion on their faces, both of their hearts pumping blood through their bodies at the speed of light "Do you think…?" Hester asked quietly, a bit hopefully.

"I _don't_ know." Vance whispered back, fearfully "Let's go and see." Both of them jumped out of the bed in their nightgowns and ran downstairs, straight into the living room where Hester's parents and Daria with Poppy in her arms, still in their nightgowns, were surrounding the radio as Ken was still twisting and turning the buttons to get the best signal.

"Come, dears, come." Rilla said and outstretched a hand to her daughter who took it without even thinking. Hester glanced at her mother's face in search of any hint and she saw it clearly, a hint of a smile in the corner of her upper lip and shining, filled with tears eyes. Suddenly, the sound became very clear which almost scared all of them, including Poppy, and they jumped together as one. A few seconds passed and the news from overseas filled the kitchen of the House of Dreams. Hester became paler than usual as she reached for Vance's hand and then felt her cheeks to burn like they haven't in months or even years.

It was Ken who started to cheer first when he caught Rilla in his arms and twirled her around in the air "They did it! Our boys did it!" he called out happily as Rilla laughed.

Daria was crying and laughing at the same time whilst still managing to kiss Poppy's chubby cheeks "Oh, come and hug me my dearest sisters! _It's over_!" she exclaimed joyfully as both Vance and Hester embraced and kissed each other as well as they kissed Daria and little Poppy. It was a moment of disbelief. Hester, even though her cheeks were wet and her lips were smiling, still couldn't quite get around the fact that the war _was_ over, that Germany has surrendered and that now the world would become a better place eventually. It was all like a dream, not a reality at all.

Suddenly, Hester found herself in her mother's arms. The both of them were shaking as they embraced each other ever so tightly " _Gilly_ is coming back." Rilla was whispering as her cheeks were overflown by tears of pure joy "He'll be coming back home!" and Daria started to laugh so cheerfully that Hester was sure her sister-in-law couldn't see properly anymore through a number of tears in her eyes which now were also trembling like she was.

"Let's all come to the kitchen, we'll 'phone Ingleside and... _everyone_!" Ken exclaimed happily and everyone, apart from Hester and Vance, followed his fast steps. Somehow, Hester knew that she and Vance needed a moment alone. At first, they simply looked at each other, with their faces wet and mixed with joy and fear simultaneously. Vance stretched out her hands to Hester and she took them gently, drawing nearer so that they embraced one another slowly.

"Do you think that Marshall will be found now?" Vance whispered into Hester's ear with a trembling voice.

A lump in Hester's throat doubled in size as she tried to swallow it with a great difficulty "I don't know, Vance." her voice broke down suddenly "I simply _don't know_."

As Hester's body started shaking in Vance's embrace, Vance herself was stationary and calm as she was brushing Hester's black hair tenderly, letting her friend's emotions to burst out and evaporate in the form of her tears. "You can't lose hope, Hester." Vance whispered into her ear gently again "I can feel that you're very near losing it but you _cannot_ do that. I won't let you do it. Hester, _I_ love him too."

Hester pulled away to look at Vance whose eyes were filled with fresh tears even though she was still smiling, in that tiny hopeful way she always used to which caused Hester to smile at her too, even though her heart hurt with a force so strong like it never has before. "I know you do." Hester replied softly "This one war ended today but _we_ 're still fighting ours, for Marshall." she squeezed Vance's hands reassuringly as a few tears sprang down her crimson cheeks once more "And we will win."

Vance smiled wider at her and nodded along before putting Hester in what she would always remember as a victorious embrace of hope.


	45. Bleeding In All The Ways

**_Chapter XLV_**

19th May 1945

Dearest Phillip,

Thank you for your wishes. I still can't quite believe that I am already _twenty-one_ -years-old! I can easily recall when I was only eight-years-old and I was thinking to myself: "In ten years time, I will be an adult! But that's so far away from now…" and now I am three years older than that!

I will, of course, tell you all about my birthday and how the whole day went but let me first tell you how incredibly happy your telegram has made me! You are coming back to your own home in New York in July, that's only two months away! And you'll come and visit our Island soon after as well… Phillip, I _cannot_ tell you how much it will mean to me to see you again, to speak to you again, to see that you are well (in some ways anyway)… I am so relieved that the war is over. I am extremely happy that it's all over and that you boys can come back home finally. However, I still feel as if the war is still on and what makes me even more anxious is that I don't know if I will ever feel any different than this.

You have asked me in your last letter how was my birthday. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we spent it on the beach with a picnic and my radio on one side, playing some wonderful Bach. My girls were there with me, all glowing, with their rosy cheeks and smiles on their faces directed at me. I smiled too, I even _laughed_ but Phillip I couldn't… I simply couldn't be there with my whole being. How could I be when in my head I was reliving the day of my twentieth birthday exactly a year earlier when I was secretly sharing last farewell kisses with my beloved Marshall in the garden of the House of Dreams.

I know what you'll say. 'Hester, be happy! Live and don't think about Marshall's disappearance because it won't do any good.' You're right, it won't and it doesn't but this horrendous feeling is quite frankly inevitable for me to experience. Even though it has been three months since that dreadful telegram burning in my hands like fire, I can still feel it leaving a permanent scar on my palms.

I was hopeful at the beginning, thinking that he is still alive and will surely come back sooner or later, I am not thinking in this way anymore. Now, I am in the time of mourning and after heavily crying for so many countless hours I am now trying to regain my breath and vision and create my new life. For it can't be called anything else, can it? It can't be my old life before the war, neither can it be the life from three months back, it has to be new, I need to start afresh.

I am thinking of going to university. It was never quite my desire or a dream for I am content with teaching music and trying my hand at composing for theatre one day when I'll be more confident. However, I thought to myself that if I want to start my life afresh, this is a good way to do so. So I will be applying in September and see what this plan will bring me.

I have been thinking about it ever since we got a letter from Uncle Carl and Auntie Persis stating that their daughter and my cousin Dawn got a place at _King's College_ in London, the very same one where John Keats went to if you can imagine that. To walk down those hallways, the same ones he walked through… See, this new and fresh idea is already making me think straight again.

I know it will take time for me to adjust to life again but I am better than I was. I enjoy laughing and playing my cello again (which I couldn't play for the first month as you know yourself) and composing, I love doing this and everything else again. It's just the thoughts that are in my head that disturb it all and make my heart to bleed a little and tremble with both grief yet still a hint of hope as well. It's hard to get a head around, you have to agree with me on that.

Will declared that he'll stay in the army, located in England. Can _you_ believe it? _We_ couldn't until we've heard the reason behind this news: he fell in love. A talented British mathematician of a name Agatha has captured my cousin's heart and I couldn't be happier for the two of them. Will in love… I can hardly believe it myself!

You'll be also pleased to know that once you come and visit our Canada in the summer, you'll see Selwyn and Walt again for they are coming down from Kingsport to spend the summer with us all, however Walt especially with his wife and Selwyn especially with his fiancee. But there is, of course, another reason for them jumping away from their hard studies and coming all the way back home, they are anxious to see all our boys coming back home, including you, dear Phillip.

I think it's time for me to go to finish preparing for the three lessons I have tomorrow! Hopefully, this won't take me too long although whenever I say this, I spend the entire afternoon preparing for the next day…

I _cannot_ articulate how much I'm excited and happy to see you again soon, my dear friend. You are just the right person I want to see this summer.

Sending you my love, as always,

Hester

* * *

Just a day after General Douglas MacArthur announced that the Philippines have been liberated at last, the month of coming back has started.

July announced itself like a ballerina in a white dress, twirling around gracefully and without a mistake across the stage, where everyone's attention was on her, awaiting her each move, smile and a gentle wave of her hand. The weather was as if it was ordered specially by Hester and her family. The sun was shining down on the Earth, the sky was almost entirely cloudless and the summer breeze allowed everyone not feel the hotness of the beginning of the warmest season of them all.

It was Bruce who came back first. Louisa lost her mind as she saw him, her husband completely unchanged with the same hopeful smile he always had, and she jumped straight onto him, kissing every inch of his face. His girls, whom he remembered being small two-year-old babies as he left, were now real tiny ladies of the age six. But their eyes could remember their father's and both Rose and Violet threw their arms around him, shouting what it felt like the first time for them: "Daddy! Daddy!" while their parents cried with joy.

Ada and Ben came for the summer too, with Di and Jack on their sides and they too brought news with them. Ada's wedding had been decided for September, so swiftly after all the boys would come back to Canada. This immediately set a faster speed to the excitement and happiness of July 1945 in Hester's family.

It was purely coincidental that Marion's husband, Harry, as well as Ada's brother David, came back to Canada on the same ship as Carl, Persis and their two children, Tom and Dawn came for a month's stay at the old P.E.I. The day of their arrival was a day of complete celebration of the end of the war. Marion couldn't help but kiss Harry without a stop and he couldn't help but reciprocate the gesture. Selwyn fell into happy tears at the sight of his friend David and the two quiet and creative souls embraced each other once more.

Lily and Hester sat together on the ancient chair in the old Ingleside one afternoon, with Hester sitting on its shoulder, above Lily. The two of them were smiling at the scenes happening before them but both were silent, holding each other's hands in reconciliation almost. Lily looked at the tall Tom who looked incredibly similar to John all of a sudden and her eyes couldn't quite hide the pain that on that day was most peculiarly hard to bear. However, Hester couldn't quite take her eyes off the happily reunited couples of Marion and Harry as well as Selwyn and Vance. She was bursting with joy over their happiness but at the same time her heart was bleeding, but even more so for Lily.

"Lily," Hester looked down at her friend's freckled face as she squeezed her hand "-I'm always here for you, remember?" she asked almost worriedly.

Lily looked up with soft tears in her eyes as she smiled surprisingly genuinely at Hester "I can't see our friendship in any other way." she said and the two girls laughed quietly together "We're soulmates. I've always known this, Hes." she said to her gently.

Hester kissed Lily's cheek with a tender smile of her own, even though a certain tear was still hanging in her eye "Yes, we are. We will always be just that, Lily." she whispered and she jumped on Lily's side, inside the armchair, as they both laughed, trying to get out of it whilst others laughed with them too.

* * *

It was a cloudy, warm day beginning the second week fo July. The sun was hidden yet it couldn't have any effect on either Hester or her family standing nervously, with trembling hands from joy, for the arrival of the oldest son of Rilla and Ken.

Gil stated it clearly in his letter to his family, he only wanted his parents, siblings and his wife to be at the station waiting for him and his wish was turned into a reality. Hester stood in between Selwyn and Daria, holding each of their hands tightly in her own, her mind not entirely prepared to see her oldest brother after the whole six years of not being able to see him, truly see, hear and touch him for such a tremendous and almost soul-ripping amount of time.

Daria and Hester spent the morning putting on their best dresses, a navy blue one belonging to Daria and a Hester wore the same dress she got from her father for her birthday a year earlier. They wore their summer straw hats, which were matching with their outfits in terms of the colour of the ribbon each of their hats had. It was a special request from Gilly, to have both his wife and his sister wear straw hats which "were always my way of a symbolism of our home". Even little Poppy wore a matching ribbon with a bow on her head to match her sisters.

Selwyn talked with Hester the whole evening the day before about Gil and his arrival because he knew how the uncertainty on the fate of Gilly's best friend and Hester's fiance could affect them both on the day of Gilbert's coming back home. Hester indeed felt very much breathless because of that fact and despite jumping from happiness about her brother's safe arrival home, she couldn't hide a pang in her heart from the realisation that the two always inseparable friends who went into the horrors of the war and were supposed to come back together, were now detached from one another without the certainty that they would ever reunite again.

Hester couldn't lose her hope in hearing from Marshall again but the day of arrival of Gilly's made her realise that the time was moving on and it couldn't be stopped to wait for any kind of response from her Marshall.

"I can't wait to see my Gilbert graduating as an architect in a year's time!" Daria said excitedly, her green eyes sparkling lovingly and her cheeks turning more than usually crimson.

Everyone immediately smiled at her "I'm glad that you've persuaded him to go to the university and get his degree, Daria." Ken winked at her gently and she smiled back at him.

"I knew that if he wouldn't do that and instead he'd start a family first he would regret it later." Daria said and then turned her head in the direction of the horizon with a wondering look on her face "But let's stop talking about his degree now that…" her eyes widened "-the train's _here_!" she clasped Hester's hands in her own swiftly with the merriest smile Hester had ever seen anyone ever possess in her life.

Hester's heart started to pound as if she was about to take a final exam at school and she squeezed back Daria's hands, looking up at Selwyn for a moment. He winked down at her, suddenly looking so much like Selwyn from the past, her heart couldn't help but jump with a sudden lump of hope banging on her heart's door.

Everyone held their breaths as the train arrived at the station and the fumes penetrated its surroundings when suddenly… "Hey, hey, hey; _Fords_!" and the figure of a man, not a boy anymore stood in front of them all. Gilbert Ford has truly turned from a teenager to a grown-up man and that was what struck everyone, apart from Daria, upon seeing him. His shoulders were broad, his arms and chest muscular, his face tanned, his brown hair even darker than six years before… Yet, the twinkle of adventure and passion was still in his eyes, something that Selwyn's eyes were still halfway there.

Daria was the first one to run up to him and let him catch her as he twirled her around in the air. Rilla and Ken already had tears in their eyes upon seeing their son well, healthy and ever so grown up kissing the woman of his dreams right on the lips without any shame or regret written over his face. Hester and Selwyn stood next to their parents and Poppy in Rilla's arms, their expressions clouded by tears of joy, shock and utter confusion as it seemed like a dream, not a reality at all.

When Gil and Daria finally came over to them, Rilla threw her one arm around her son, gasping with joy, with her other arm holding small Poppy as Ken kissed Gil's forehead tenderly. "My baby _boy_ , my _dearest_ …" Rilla was muttering while shaking as Gil was unable to speak, a phenomenon never known to himself or his family.

"Hello, _Poppy_ …" he said in-between the tears falling from his eyes "It's an honour to meet you." and he laughed as Poppy gave him the widest smile she could have to a brother she never met before.

Finally, Gilly turned to Selwyn and Hester who stood motionless, as if awaiting this moment from the day they were born. The three Ford siblings who were always there for each other both in Toronto and Four Winds and overseas, were standing in front of each other now, feeling truly like the Three Musketeers that they were. Hester's lips finally broke into a smile, while she let tears roll endlessly down her cheeks with Selwyn mirroring her actions and Gil doing the same in front of them. "I _can't_ believe it!" he breathed out eventually as he embraced both Selwyn and Hester at the same time.

"Gosh, Gil, you smell _exactly_ the same!" Hester managed to say and everyone around her started to laugh cheerfully.

"I hope it's a compliment, Hes." Gil replied cheerfully, still shaking.

"When something comes out of Hester Ford's lips, it must be the truth or a compliment." Selwyn said and the three siblings looked at each other with smiles of pure joy and truly no need for any words at all, not this time at least.


	46. The World's Horizon

**Hello, my lovely readers! I'm not too sure what happened last week but the didn't inform any of you about the usual new chapter I've posted last Sunday. Therefore, if you haven't read it yet, please do so before you read this one! _This_ new chapter is the last one of this story. I can't quite believe it! This story helped me learn how to be a better writer and editor of my own work and so I think I enjoyed writing this story the most of all my other ones. _Thank you all so much for reading_. I hope you'll enjoy this final chapter :) - Bathsheba Blythe**

 ** _Chapter XLVI_**

Hester played with Poppy and her dollhouse, which also once upon a time belonged to Hester herself, with Rilla hovering around the kitchen, softly humming "Let Me Call You Sweetheart", awaiting the return of her sons and their loves from the cinema. Hester didn't come with them because she knew she would feel like a fifth wheel and it was the last thing she'd ever want to feel, ever.

She was, therefore, waiting for Lily to arrive. They decided to go together to the shore for a walk and in the meantime, Hester played with Poppy who was very much absorbed in the world of her princesses. Hester was smiling down at her baby sister and envied her oblivious darling soul, so carefree and without any hint of worry or fear in her life, well, probably only apart from fearing her princess being taken away by a big wolf. How good would it feel to be only two years old again!

Hester sighed and with a still gentle smile on her pale face, she looked out of the window. Suddenly, her hazel eyes widened in surprise and joy as she jumped from her seat, causing Poppy to look at her angrily for destroying the peaceful mood of her 'castle'. "Mum! _Mum_! _Phillip_ came back!" Hester managed to shout merrily in the direction of the kitchen as she flew out of the house like a fierce dove through the sky.

It was Phillip indeed walking down the lane, still wearing the uniform of the American army. In his hand, he held a suitcase and on his face, he wore a sentimental smile. As soon as his eyes witnessed the madly running black-haired woman, he dropped his suitcase, cheered loudly and caught her swiftly in his arms, twirling her as the two of them were laughing breathlessly. "For goodness' sakes, _why_ didn't you tell me you were coming to the Island sooner than you told me, Phillip?!" Hester said to him with a wide smile and flushed cheeks as he put her back on the ground.

Phillip still looked the same, yet he looked more like a man now with muscular arms and a sharp chin and twinkling with ambition eyes. If his eyes could speak, they would scream with happiness, Hester thought, and then they'd be mirroring Hester's own. "I told you on purpose I'd be going to New York first because I wanted to give you a surprise, silly." he replied and kissed her forehead tenderly.

Hester's eyes were filled with tears as she put her hands on his tall and broad shoulders "I can't believe I can _see_ you, and speak to you and everything…" she said in disbelief breathing his essence in.

In that moment, Hester thought that they could have been happy together if only her heart would allow 'them' to happen. Her mind crossed an apartment in New York, Phillip working as a lawyer, her playing her instruments and composing on the side whilst kissing three children, all with Phillip's eyes… But somehow this image didn't bring as much joy to her, it was only a further exclamation of her heart telling her that they were never meant to be together, which suddenly filled her entire being with sorrow and pain. Phillip saw it all too and he felt just like Hester, years spent at the front and time allowing him to think everything ten times too many made him realise this unfortunate turn of events as well. However, he made peace with it a while ago, when Hester wrote to him of her engagement to Marshall, and now he was only more concerned about Hester's wellbeing with the knowledge of Marshall Douglas' name on her wedding invitation with a question mark at the end of it.

He put her into an embrace, no words needed, and she put her arms around his neck, letting her tears to run down her cheeks. She could literally breathe him in, and feel how he was breathing without any problems at all, he was _here_ , he was safe, another man she loved came back and that was almost enough. "I wish I could love you in this way, dearest Phillip." she whispered suddenly.

Phillip sighed softly but smiled into her ear "It was never meant to be." he whispered back "It's better this way, Hester, believe me. Please, don't lose hope, not yet, darling." he said almost desperately at the end.

Hester pulled away and she kissed his lips briefly with a smile on her face before looking into his eyes "I haven't." she breathed out and he could feel that she truly hasn't yet.

"Phillip! _Phillip_! Oh, my Lord, it is _you_!"

Both Phillip and Hester turned around and Lily's figure started springing towards them, her face glowing with a paralysing joy, her past self suddenly coming back to her surface. She jumped on Phillip, kissing his cheeks, forehead and a nose, making him and Hester laugh so much she almost lost her breath. " _Lily_!" he exclaimed joyfully as he put her down and looked deeply into her eyes as she glanced back into his, her arms still around his neck.

Hester's eyes widened again as something in her mind clicked. She never had a talent of a matchmaker like her grandmother Anne did but there was no doubt that Phillip and Lily just clicked. Hester wasn't sure if it was the sun that shone at the two of them so brightly that made her see it or was it that she always knew it at heart? She couldn't decide but she didn't need further questioning. Hester smiled at the two of them as they talked, Lily's cheeks flushing with crimson like they haven't in… _years_ , whilst Phillip's eyes were taking in her every freckle and ginger strand of her hair.

"Only time will show." Hester whispered to herself, her smile the proof of the enchanting atmosphere enveloping the day she thought would be like every other day.

* * *

"Today is one of these days when everything falls into place, don't you all think?" Gil asked people belonging in his heart who were sitting around him.

The sun was out in all its glory whilst the summer breeze blew ever so softly onto the faces of the Ford siblings, Daria and Vance; all sitting on the verandah of the House of Dreams with Poppy playing with her dollhouse on the ground with Hester and Vance. Daria was sitting on Gil's lap, her arms around his neck and their eyes never really letting one another's to look at anything else but each other. Selwyn sat on a chair right behind Vance who once in a while would turn to gaze up into his eyes with a smile as if to reassure herself of the love they both shared. Hester would look at each of them and her own smile appeared upon her pale face yet also a heartache which she felt on that day almost unbearably.

Phillip was already gone to New York as his parents anticipated his prompt return. Both Hester and Lily were reluctant to let him go so quickly, only a week after his arrival, yet they couldn't help it and they did let him go. Somehow, the departure of Phillip filled Hester with a different kind of joy and hope for she knew that now after this whole week spent together, Lily had never been so close to him as she was now and this too could bloom into something more, Hester's matchmaking brain was telling her so. And with all the romances, love or maybe-one-day romances occurring all around her, Hester couldn't quite hide her internal pain for very much longer and everyone could see that but no one could do a single thing about it, Hester couldn't herself. So she simply let the time pass as her mind was as full of Marshall as it had never been before.

"Most definitely." Daria agreed merrily, her cheeks flushed as she kissed her husband on the cheek "Yet, I feel as if something is coming today. I don't know what though…" she frowned a little and Gilly returned the kiss swiftly.

"Ha!" Selwyn smiled as he looked behind his shoulder "You couldn't be more right, Daria. There's someone coming up the lane." he squinted his eyes to see the figure approaching on the horizon as everyone followed his gaze "Who is this stranger?" he asked and Vance put her hand a bit nervously on his knee as he squeezed her hand in the reassurance of his presence.

Hester stood up, feeling her mind detaching from her body. She didn't even think of standing up before she actually did. She looked closely at the figure, a few moments later her vision cleared and she felt supernatural, for she could see the person coming up the lane as if he was a few inches away from her. Her eyes widened as her heart stopped beating and her eyes filled with a thick wall of tears. "It's _him_." she breathed out and everyone looked at her with worry. Hester gasped as if she struggled to breathe. " _Marshall_!" she screamed out, so loud she startled everyone around her.

Hester, without looking at anyone's reaction to her unusual self, stepped down on the lane swiftly, her mind as clear and bright as the day around her. "By God, she's right!" Gilly clasped his hands as his own eyes filled with tears.

"Marshall!" Hester, unable to move, screamed with joy again and a figure of a man in uniform froze in place at once. He then dropped the bags he carried and started to run in her direction just as she did. "Marshall! _Marshall_!" her face was lit with happiness she never knew before.

" _Hester_! My darling!" he caught her in his arms and started kissing every inch of her face as she was trying to kiss his hands. Both of them trembled as if from one another's touch, so familiar yet so strange at the same time "I'm so sorry, my honey-kid, I'm sorry for causing you so much worry." he whispered into her ear, with Hester feeling her shoulder stained with his own tears.

Hester pulled away, her heart beating so fast she thought it could be easily visible through her dress. She put her hands on his cheeks, wiped away his tears, touched the scar on his neck and kissed it softly as he stood in front of her, looking at her lovingly. "You're here." she whispered out from joy, holding onto the collar of his jacket for fear he could disappear within seconds. "My God, _what_ has happened to you? Does anyone know that you're in Canada? _Why_ haven't you written that you were coming home?!" she said so quickly Marshall couldn't help smiling wider at her.

"I was found. God knows how but when I woke up in a hospital in France, I could _not_ for the life of me remember a thing. I had amnesia, the doctor said. I didn't even know what my name is and how old I am." he replied calmly yet emotions still lingered inside of his throat as he held on tight to Hester's waist "That was back in April. I was completely fine, apart from this damned amnesia, and they decided to send me home, wherever that was, in June. They knew I belonged to the Canadian army because funnily enough, the only thing I knew for certain was that I was from Canada. So someone arranged for me a passage to Canada, Montreal first and on my way there, on the ship, I accidentally bumped my head on the doorframe and all of my memories came back, well, apart from what actually happened to me when I was reported missing in action. So after arriving in Montreal, I made my way here in a matter of days. I sent you all a telegram, didn't it come?" he asked nervously after almost losing his voice for telling the story so fast.

Hester kissed his lips tenderly before answering "No, nothing came." she said but then smiled to shush him "It's fine, Marshall. No one is or will be mad at you for this. You're not to blame, dearest." her eyes filled with tears as Marshall kissed her passionately, without even thinking. Hester felt as if she died and was now being reincarnated into her old, good self she never felt she missed as much as she did. Marshall was the missing part of her own self and it still seemed almost ridiculous to her that he was standing right in front of her, his hands on her crimson cheeks and his lips on her own mouth. She was complete and she never wanted this moment to end.

"My beautiful soon-to-be-wife." he whispered to her as she almost jumped from a sudden thrill of excitement and uncontrollable happiness overcoming her as if in waves.

"Yes, _very_ soon." she whispered back as she kissed his nose gently.

"I vow to you now, that I will work so hard for you that at the end of the day I will only have enough energy left to kiss your small, darling hands." he whispered, their foreheads touching gently and their eyes closed.

Hester chuckled softly "We will both work hard. Together, always." she whispered back as they looked into each other's eyes then, lovingly and surely.

"Always." he repeated and then took his sweetheart's hand in his, starting to walk slowly with her by his side in the direction of the House of Dreams, his best friend and his little sister waiting for him, still on the verandah.

"It's all just a beginning." Hester whispered dreamily as she closed her eyes and leant her head against the side of Marshall's chest.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, thinking that he was the happiest and luckiest man in the world. "A new beginning for us all. It's as exciting as it is fresh."

"And remember, it's with no mistakes in it... _yet_." Hester replied, a smile on her face widening slightly as she looked up into Marshall's emerald eyes and she knew just as much as she could feel that for as long as he was by her side, the world was nothing but something very possible and... and... _wonderful_ , yes, and filled with some wonderful dreams waiting to be written into their lives. Hester didn't mind if those dreams would exactly happen as she'd wish, she only knew that now, the world was standing in front of them both with its outstretched hands and new possibilities on its horizon.

 _ **To Be Continued**_

* * *

 **Hello, again! I wanted to thank you all for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting this and any of my other stories. I feel very grateful indeed.**

 **I am currently in the process of writing my new story which will be about Una Meredith after the war. I was always thinking of writing a story about life at Redmond College (Alinyaalethia's incredible story called "Pieces of Lives" definitely pushed me into trying to plan out what I'd like to tell through this kind of a story of my own) and I finally came up with an idea which I really like. So yes, the next story I'll write will be about Una and her life at Redmond College after the war. I am planning to post its first chapter some time in later June so if you're interested in reading it, stay tuned! I do think that I will return to Hester one day though, so that's why the end of this chapter isn't really "The End" yet ;) Thank you all again! I will see you soon. - Bathsheba Blythe**


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